She looked at him, fully, for the first time since he'd dragged her into the gazebo. "You would do that?"
"For you, I would do that."
He was sure she was gonna tell him it wasn't enough, she didn't want him after all and he'd only deluded himself.
Clouds cleared from her gaze, a ray of hope brightened her features. Then she turned away. "I don't know Mitch. I couldn't ask you to give up your life for me. That wouldn't be right. What if you left everything and you weren't happy with…in Milwaukee?"
"I'm willing to risk it." He smiled and lifted her chin. "Are you willing, Jess? Will you take this chance with me?"
She breathed and swallowed hard, studying him. "Mitch…I don't want to hurt you."
He heard what she meant instead. She didn't want him to hurt her. "You won't."
"You can't know that." Her hands rose between them, lying against his chest, but they didn't push him away.
"I have faith," he lowered his head. "Tell me you want me to be with you, Jess. Say the words."
Her lids dipped, her gaze on his mouth so intense he felt a responding tingle, a magnetic draw. He waited for her reply.
"I," she started, her tongue touching her lips, wetting them. "I want you with me."
He captured her mouth, pulled her into his arms, telling her with every inch of him she would be safe, that he wouldn't let anyone harm her, including himself. She moaned with a pain he felt in the salty taste of her tears, in the shudder of her shoulders, in the fists holding his shirt. To live, survive, breathe another day had been his purpose, but those needs paled beside the need to love her.
"Jess," he whispered, drawing back, filled with a vulnerable happiness he'd never wanted or needed so much. "I think…I think…I love you."
Her chest hitched and the tears that had been trapped in her eyes streamed over her cheeks. "I think I love you, too."
He hugged her tight. The shifting, crumbling of his cold concrete core, poured the day his mother died, layered by every betrayal, covered over by every dark deed he'd done, wasn't as painful as he'd imagined.
He could have gone on holding her, and from the way she relaxed against him, he thought they could have stood there until dusk. But he felt a shift in the air, a stirring of senses, a silent signal they were soon to be approached by a yet unknown person. Rattled, afraid Jess could be snatched from him just as quickly as he'd found her, he turned and withdrew the pistol in his holster. He shoved her behind him.
"What–"
He cut her off with a shush and whispered, "Someone's out there."
Her grip tightened on the back strap of his holster, but she remained quiet. Eyes focused on the gaps between the trees lining the path, he waited. Hurried footsteps sounded over the mulched walkway and he calmed himself. Anyone foolhardy enough to run in plain sight of the guards, in broad daylight, couldn't be an enemy. Jared appeared and Mitch released the breath he'd been holding.
"Mitch! Jess!" Jared hollered, waving. "The hospital called." He took the stairs in one leap. "Beth's awake!"
Chapter Fifteen "She's awake?" Riding the wave of euphoria Mitch had evoked in her, Jess bounded out from behind him so quickly, she forgot to let go of his shoulder holster and pulled him sideways. She ignored his grunt of surprise and released him, grabbing both of Jared's hands instead. "She's awake?"
Jared nodded vigorously, his smile bright. "She's finally come around. They want us to come right away."
"Mitch," Jess turned, her own happiness and Jared's elation washing away any trepidation she might have felt. "My mother's awake."
Mitch caught her in a bear hug and kissed her hair. She couldn't contain herself. All this was too much for a simple Brew-City gal to take. The small, ever forgiving girl living deep in her soul grinned large.
"It's great news, Jess." His wide smile was filled with warmth and a tenderness that melted over her like caramel over an apple. She blushed. Not a thought she should be having at the moment.
"Let's go, right now." She grabbed his hand and turned to Jared. "Are you ready?"
Jared nodded, rocking on his heels as if eager to get moving. "I've been ready for weeks."
Mitch squeezed her hand and led her down the porch. Jared stepped aside, his stare on their interlaced fingers. Jess wondered fleetingly if he disapproved of her and Mitch together, then the thought vanished as it hit her again.
Mitch is coming home with me, and my mother's awake.
Her excitement wouldn't let her hold onto one worry, one concern. In the limo, with Mike back behind the wheel, however, her nerves had a chance to settle–and then take an entirely new direction.
Beside Mitch, with Jared across from her, the happy anticipation was palpable in the air. Jared's fidgeting and sudden smiles, Mitch's bouncing knee and the rough way his hand worked over hers, and her giddy see-sawing emotions made the drive take forever.
Will she like me?
Will she approve of Mitch and me together?
Will she be happy to see me?
"If you don't mind me asking," Jared said, breaking the not
entirely awkward silence with a pointed look at their joined hands. "Is this an official thing?" Mitch nodded. "I'll be leaving for Milwaukee when Jess returns home."
Jess explained, "Mitch's gonna set up shop out by me and we're gonna see how it goes."
"That's great." Jared slapped his hands on his knees. "We'll have to give you a big send-off, for all you've done for the family, Mitch."
Mitch grimaced and his hold on her hand tightened. "It's not necessary. If I'd done a better job, we wouldn't be visiting Beth in the hospital at all."
"Nonsense," Jared waved a hand dismissively. "I'll have Beth brought home and if she's strong enough, we'll plan a festive meal, at the very least."
Jess sighed. "It will be great to see her. I mean awake and all."
"This will be the first time you've really met her, since she left, won't it?" Jared asked.
Jess nodded and frowned. It was a stinging reminder that her fantasy reunion came with a lot of unresolved luggage. Forget if her mother would like her or not, the real worry was whether or not she believed Jess refused her letters and held a grudge.
Mitch must have sensed the weight of her thoughts because he gentled his hold on her hand, rubbing it tenderly with his thumb. "Don't worry, it's gonna be all right, Buttercup. You'll see."
"I know." Jess packed up the past, taped it closed, and shoved it to the back of the attic. Turning, she winked at Mitch. "And don't call me buttercup."
The limo stopped before Mitch finished laughing.
Jared, smiling along, though obviously not sure what was so funny, said, "We're here."
Gooseflesh broke out on Jess's arms as she stepped out of the limo. Her gaze roved the area, searching every navy-blue vehicle for tinted windows. Of course it wouldn't be the same car if killers were waiting. Once they'd caught the thug from the last time, the FBI had said the majority of the threat was over. It didn't matter though, the danger of this place was ingrained in her skin.
Mitch put an arm behind her, his hand pressing the small of her back as he guided her to the front door. Jared walked on her other side. Mitch leaned down and whispered in her ear. "You're trembling. Take a deep breath."
She inhaled as Jared opened the door, and exhaled as they followed him inside. The queasy feeling dissipated, partly by Mitch's reassuring presence, and partly from getting out of the open. When the door swung closed behind them, the fear eased from her neck and shoulders.
Once again they followed the opulent hallway, their footfalls echoing on the high-polished floors. The overwhelming fear she'd experienced before had been replaced with a sensation of impending miracles. Her dreams were all coming true. Dreams she hadn't dare acknowledge back home. A life of her own, a life where a mother existed, a life where her hopes and fears were shared with a handsome lover who would die to keep her safe.
"I can't believe it," Jess whispered. "After all this time.
"
Jared smiled. "She'll be so happy to see you."
They finally reached Beth's new room, distinguishable from the others by the police officer who still held vigil outside the door.
Mitch spoke quietly with the officer for a few moments, then they were waved inside. Jess found herself hiding behind the broad shoulders of Mitch, buying a few more seconds of time before she came face to face with the woman she'd longed for all her life.
"Oh Beth," Jared cried as he went to her, bending and hugging the woman who sat propped against the raised mattress. Obscured from view, Jess only caught her mother's feeble attempt to embrace him back. "We've been so worried. I'm so glad to see you awake."
Beth's voice was harsh, not much more than crackling whisper. "It's good to see you too, Jared."
"We've brought someone." Jared glanced over his shoulder and Jess finally had a glimpse of her mother. Green eyes, slightly more hazel than her own, stared back from above purple shadows and a wan complexion. "It's your daughter, Jessica."
Jess wouldn't have believed it was possible, but Beth paled further for a moment, then twin spots of color bloomed across the high, protruding cheekbones. "Jessica?"
Mitch gave her a nudge forward and she stepped to the edge of the bed. Jess nodded. "They call me Jess."
Beth's eyes filled with tears and she glanced at Jared who nodded, and then back at Jess, who nodded too.
Jess couldn't speak, her throat had closed. Moments flitted through memory, the tiny images she couldn't be sure weren't dreams. Her mother laughing, hair wild and free as they played in the muddy sand by Lake Michigan. The press of lips against her forehead to ease the pain of a skinned knee. Little loving moments Jess treasured, heart secrets no one else would care about. Now, the only thing she could see clearly were her mother's outstretched arms.
Stumbling, embarrassed by an audience, and not caring at the same time, Jess fell into her mother's arms.
"My baby." Beth whispered, her arms holding Jess more tightly than she would have thought possible. "Oh my sweet baby girl."
Jess cried. Her heart both breaking and soaring. Not in all her imaginings had it been this wonderful and terrible. Wonderful to be smelling the faint scent she recalled so clearly now–that mixture of skin and honey, a personal scent that no perfume could imitate. Wonderful to feel the love of a mother, and terrible grief for all the years she had gone without it. Jess cried and didn't bother trying to hide her tears. There wasn't any way she could have.
Beth's chest hitched. "I've missed you so much."
Jess straightened and eased to the side of the bed. "I've missed you too."
They held hands, Jess careful of the IV line protruding from the back of her mother's. With her free hand, Jess accepted a tissue from Mitch and wiped her eyes. Jared took another and mopped Beth's face.
"Mitch," Beth said, her smile fragile. "You found her, you kept her safe. Thank you."
Mitch shrugged. "I only wish I could have protected you better."
Her eyes clouded and she glanced at Jess. "What's been happening? Did they find Grady yet?"
Mitch shook his head. "Not yet, but we're drawing close. They'll have him in custody in no time."
Jess couldn't take her eyes off her mother, or stop listening to the lilt of her hoarse voice. Every word, every gesture, every flick of an eyelash or twitch of muscle brought back more and more memories of what it had been like to be the daughter of this woman.
"Do you remember anything?" Jared asked.
Startled, Jess thought he'd asked her for a moment, then realized he was speaking to Beth.
She shook her head. "I remember we were in the dining room and I remember the alarms, but I don't recall much past that."
"Don't worry, Beth. Just focus on getting better." Mitch frowned. "But if you do remember, you'll call either me or Detective Larson, won't you?"
"Of course, Mitch." Beth gave him a curious look. "Is it that important? Do you need my testimony to lock away Grady?"
"No, no," Jared said, kissing the back of Beth's hand. "Don't trouble yourself with this now. Do as Mitch said, focus on getting back on your feet so you can come home."
"All right," she didn't smile. "Could you gentleman give me a moment alone with my daughter?"
My daughter. Jess's breath caught in her throat. Staring anywhere but at her mother, her gaze traveled the well appointed but bare room. She hadn't noticed before, but there weren't any flowers, no cards, no balloons. Strange. When J.D. had gotten banged up in a motorcycle accident, you could hardly find the big biker behind all the get-well gifts. Maybe L.A. was different.
Mitch bent and kissed Jess on the cheek, bringing her out of her thoughts. "I'll be right outside the door."
Jared stood slowly, his reluctance apparent. "You need anything at all, just ask and I'll see that you get it."
"Thank you." Beth fell back against the pillows as the men vacated and closed the door behind them. "Now we can talk properly."
But Jess saw the weary look in her mother's eyes and knew that even the few minutes they'd visited, she was already worn out. "We have a lifetime to talk. Mom. Don't tire yourself too much."
"Mom." Beth smiled wistfully. "It's been so very long since I've been called that. You don't know how much I've longed to see you, to know you, to hear about your life."
Jess did know, she'd lived with those questions as long as she could remember. "I never wanted to keep you away, it was just how…things worked out. I want you to know that whatever happened before is over for me. I'd like us to start fresh, y'know? On new ground?"
Beth nodded and closed her eyes. When she opened them again, they held both exhaustion and joy. "I'm so happy to see you. You've grown into such a beautiful young woman. I can't imagine you fixing old motorcycles and giving people tattoos."
Jess cringed a little. This wasn't the first time, and it certainly wouldn't be the last, someone put down her lifestyle– but coming from her mother, it hurt all the more. "It's a respectable profession."
Beth squeezed her hand. "I didn't mean to criticize you, Jess. I'm sorry if that came out wrong."
"That's okay." Jess smiled to put her mother at ease. There was bound to be some miscommunication as they learned more about each other. After all, Jess had thought her mother was nothing more than an addict who'd been whoring around for the last fifteen years.
The silence filled with unspoken questions and unable to stand it any longer, Jess said, "I've been staying at your house. It's very beautiful there. Did you do the painting over the fireplace? The one of the back of the property?"
Beth nodded. "When I first came home, I took a lot of classes to keep my mind off…all the horrible things I'd done. I'm so sorry, baby. I'm so sorry for leaving you like that."
Her mother broke down fully, covering her eyes with one hand and for an awkward moment, Jess sat there, not knowing what to do. Here was the apology she'd wanted all her life, the truth of her mother's pain, the memory of her own pain. Breaking free from her fears, from the hell of her childhood, Jess leaned across the bed and hugged her mother, offering her forgiveness.
Beth patted her hair, and sobbing, said, "I love you sweetheart, I love you so much."
"I love you too, Mom." Jess cried all over again. "I always loved you."
* * *
Mitch leaned against the wall and watched Jared. Since they'd been relegated to the hall, Jared had paced back and forth, his hands deep in his pockets, pausing occasionally when the voices inside rose loud enough to be heard, but not enough to distinguish words. The officer, with Mitch at the door and Jared making a nuisance of himself, had grabbed the chance to fetch himself coffee.
"I wonder what they're talking about," Jared said for the fourth time.
"Probably just catching up," Mitch replied. What is up with Jared? He acts like he doesn't want Beth and Jess talking behind his back. "Why don't you take the chair until the cop comes back. You'll pace a rut in the floor, you keep that up."
>
Jared laughed, but the sound was hollow. "No, thanks. I'm fine." He exhaled hugely and ran a hand over the back of his neck. "Guess I'm just afraid she'll fall back into…the coma and I won't have a chance to really talk to her."
Mitch grunted his understanding but that's not what he saw. He saw anger in Jared's posture, in the set of his jaw, in the way he kept fisting his hands. This was a man who was used to coming first and that same feeling of something not quite right burned in Mitch's belly. "Beth'll be fine."
"I hope so." Jared turned as footfalls echoed toward them. A tall man in trousers, a white coat, and carrying a clipboard headed straight to them. Dr. Presberg. Mitch had met him twice before he'd left for Milwaukee. A good guy, and the best doc money could buy.
"Mr. Kramer, good to see you," Dr. Presberg held out a hand and after Jared shook it, the doc held it out to Mitch. "And you too, Mitch."
"Same here, doc." Mitch shook his hand.
"Have you been in to see her yet?" he asked them both. They nodded. "Good, good. Who's in with her now?"
Mitch said, "Her daughter, Jess. She flew in from Milwaukee."
"Excellent. The more family around her, the better."
Jared shoved his hands back in his pockets. "Will there be any lasting damage?"
Presberg transferred the clipboard to his other hand. "It's too early to tell, but she seems to be rebounding very well. She's got full motor function, a bit weak, but that's to be expected. Her speech and vision seem to be intact. The only exception that we've been able to discover so far are the events surrounding her injury. Again, that's fairly typical in these cases. I suggest giving her time. She may never recall exactly what happened to her, or she may suddenly remember tomorrow, a year from now, or ten years from now."
Mitch grimaced. Every instinct inside him demanded to know what she'd seen that night. The last part of the equation, the sum total of all that had happened.
"But she's not…lost her intellect? I mean, she won't need to learn how to write and read and all that?" Jared asked, his gaze bore into the doctor, as if he expected to catch Presberg in a lie.
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