“How did it go?” Hudson was awake and watching her.
She gave a little scream. “Oh god you scared me! Fine, it went fine. It went brilliantly in fact. I am a genius at directing—a skill I did not even know I had. So your little plan backfired, Mr. Grace. I’m drinking Jocelyn’s wine, by the way.” She raised her glass in a toast. “How was Simon tonight? Did he help you with the tree?”
“He did. Can’t you tell? He’s wearing his new pajamas. Blue dinosaurs. He fell asleep counting them. Thanks for buying those and thanks for the rest of it too.” Hudson swung his long legs to the floor and sat up. He rubbed his eyes. “He seems to really like you.”
“I don’t lie to him, that’s why he likes me. I’m probably the only woman he’s met who hasn’t pretended to like him just to get to you. He knows where he stands with me.”
“I guess I had that coming. Anyway, he’s going to miss you and I’m going to miss having you around too. I was waiting up for you to give you the good news.”
She poured him a glass of wine. “What good news?”
“I will no longer be your supervisor after tonight. I called Sawyer at the farm and he said if no one else qualified volunteers for the job, you can stay with them. Shelby is eight weeks pregnant so there’s a lot morning sickness going on over there and she can’t stand the smell of food so there’s no cooking.” Hudson grinned. “Her pregnancy is a bit of a scandal in Mandrake Falls because they only got married six weeks ago.”
“I’m sorry—but am I supposed to know these people?”
“Sawyer is the sheriff and Shelby owns the town newspaper.” He jerked his thumb at the Gazette. “Everyone knows them. They’re Mandrake Falls’ power couple.”
“Oh. Well, that’s good news about the reassignment.” It was. Why didn’t it feel like it? “I’ll miss Simon, of course; words I never thought I’d hear coming out of my mouth. But I will miss him. And you too, Mr. Grace.”
Michael leaned back in the armchair, taking in the fire and the snow falling outside the window. The Christmas tree twinkled in the corner. Hudson met her eyes. “I have to call Gregory,” she said hurriedly.
He got to his feet. “Phone’s right there. Help yourself. Are hungry? I bought a roast chicken for dinner. Stay there, I’ll get it. Relax and drink your wine.”
Hudson disappeared into the kitchen. Michael took a cautious sip from her glass. She hadn’t eaten anything since lunch. Her impulse control was not great when she drank and Hudson was looking uncommonly handsome tonight. She had to admit his desirability had increased since Jocelyn Tate appeared on the scene. Shallow, yes—Michael Shannon was indeed that shallow. “Your girlfriend is a pretty good actress by the way,” she called.
“She’s not my girlfriend. She works with me once in awhile.”
“And once in a while she sleeps with you.”
“Slept with me. Past tense. You’re ruining my love life.”
“Oh, I’m sure there are plenty of ear muff-wearing co-eds out there for a man like you.”
Hudson returned to the living room, carrying a platter of cold roast chicken, cheese and crusty rolls and a dish of olives. “Never mind my love life. How come you haven’t phoned the Green Guerrilla? Go ahead, Miss Shannon, don’t be shy. I know what this phone call is going to sound like at your end.” He set the platter on the table and popped an olive in his mouth. “One player to another, I’ve got you covered.”
“But that’s just it—I don’t feel like a player anymore. Something’s changed. I’m trying to understand what. It’s something to do with Mandrake Falls and being so anonymous here—which I can assure you is not my normal experience. Simon in church today and then at rehearsal tonight—you asked me to be nice to those people and I was. It’s not like me to tolerate less than the best. I’ve never had that level of patience with anyone. Something’s happened to me. I feel like I’m losing my killer instinct.”
“It’s Christmas. Everyone is a little nicer to each other at Christmas.”
“It’s more than that. I feel ready to take on more in my life. The idea of commitment doesn’t seem as frightening as it used to. My therapist will be thrilled. He was beginning to believe I’d never get off his couch.” Her eyes lifted to him in wonder. “Mr. Grace, I think I’m ready to seriously commit to someone.”
“And Gregory is that someone?”
Michael shifted in the armchair and frowned. “Well, of course. Who else could it be?”
“You love him then.”
“I think I must love him if I’m ready to marry him. If I’m willing to make a commitment it must mean I love him. Don’t you think? I mean when you feel like sticking with one person and living life on a meaningful level—that has to be love, right?”
“It sounds to me like you’re hoping love will grow out of the commitment. That’s a gamble I wouldn’t want to take with the rest of my life.”
“But how can you love if you aren’t willing to commit first? Love equals commitment and vice versa. They’re inseparable. Like you with Simon. Your brother named you his guardian because you loved your nephew and he knew you’d be invested in his well-being.”
Hudson laughed but Michael could see shame warring with resentment in his eyes. “No, that’s not why Riley did it. I rarely saw Simon after he was born. I never held him. He was a baby. I didn’t have any interest in babies. I told Riley I’d see more of the kid when he was older, when I could do things with him. Marriage—kids—I never wanted that. Riley knew what I was like. He named me guardian to force me into settling down. Simon needs a mom and if I were less selfish, I’d give him one. I know a lot of terrific women, but I don’t love them. And no matter how strong my commitment is to my nephew, I’m not going to spend the rest of my life with a woman I don’t love because my brother, the minister, wanted me to stop playing around.”
Michael reached for a wedge of cheese, choosing her words carefully. “I don’t know much about parenting but I do know the good ones don’t leave their kids with people they don’t have faith in. Was your brother the kind of guy who would use his baby son to teach you a lesson?”
Hudson was silent. “We had our differences,” he said finally.
“Did you love him?”
He lifted his head and stared at her. His eyes were almost silver in the firelight. “Yeah, I loved him. We had our differences but we were close. Everyone in town expects Simon and me to sit in that church week in and week out. I just have to see the building to know how much I—how much Simon’s lost. If it were up to me I wouldn’t take him at all. The kid has been through enough. It never occurs to that congregation that it’s cruel to force him to go there. His dad was the minister and he’s never coming back. The church probably stirs up memories of his parents.”
“It must have been very bad for you right after the accident. I can’t imagine how that must have felt.”
“It was ... it was like losing a limb.” Hudson rubbed a hand over his head. “I felt like I was in a movie playing a guy whose brother had been killed in a car accident. Simon was fifteen months old; he was at the babysitter’s house when their car went over the guardrail. The police came to the park office to tell me so I had to take custody of Simon right away. He didn’t understand what was going on or where his parents were. Suddenly this strange dude was taking him away from his home. For the first week, he kept looking at my front door and pointing, and then one day he stopped. I became the guy he turned to for everything. If I didn’t have Simon to take my mind off things, I would’ve gone off the deep end.”
Michael moved to the sofa and sat down beside him. She took his hand in hers. “There’s your answer. That’s why your brother named you Simon’s guardian. Riley knew if anything happened to him you’d be alone. You’re not the sort of man who goes to anyone for help. You’d lose contact with your nephew because you’d tell yourself he was better off without you. And I know you’d have a string of meaningless affairs because that’s what I’d do in that situation. They
’d ease the pain for a few hours but then you’d wake up alone again. Riley wasn’t trying to make a family man out of you—he was trying to protect you.”
His expression was puzzled and awestruck, like he’d discovered something he didn’t understand, at the same time the truth of the discovery was readily apparent. “Do you really believe that?”
“I think it’s the only explanation that makes the most sense.”
Hudson rubbed a hand over his mouth. He throat caught. “I thought I was a disappointment to him. I thought he was making fun of me when he named me Simon’s guardian. Like he knew I’d never measure up. You could have heard a pin drop in the lawyer’s office when he read the will. Everyone was thinking it.”
Michael held her breath. Harboring that kind of hurt, it was a miracle Hudson was able to love Simon at all. And yet he was. Even believing the worst, he was man enough to love his little nephew. That’s what being a good father is all about, Michael thought. Riley Grace knew exactly what he was doing. “I think,” Michael said slowly, “Your brother knew the measure of you better than you did. The proof is sound asleep down the hall wearing blue dinosaur pajamas. You don’t have to marry a woman you don’t love to give Simon a mom. When it’s right for you, it’ll be right for him too.”
His steel-gray eyes met hers in silence.
Michael swallowed. “Vickie had a degree in psychology. I picked up a few things.”
“Who’s Vickie?” he said huskily. He was still holding her hand.
“I’m not going to dignify that with a response.”
Hudson laughed. They smiled at each other, holding hands while the snow swirled against the window. “Sounds like a storm is building,” he said.
Transfixed, she couldn’t turn her eyes away from his. A hot longing to kiss him was burning a hole in her chest. “I have to call Gregory,” Michael gasped. “I want to talk to him tonight about getting married.”
“That’s a big conversation. And it’s getting late.”
“Oh, Greg doesn’t sleep. He’s up until all hours. The environment is a global concern. He holds online strategy meetings with groups all over the world.”
“He sounds important.”
Michael breathed in Hudson’s starkly male scent, gamely hanging onto her willpower. “Oh he is. We haven’t seen much of each other these past few months.”
“I better leave you to it then.” Hudson looked down at their hands still entwined. “I guess this is good-bye. I’ll drive you to the Sheriff’s Office before I take Simon to daycare. And by this time tomorrow, you’ll be engaged.” He met her eyes. “But before that happens, I’m going to do something I’ve wanted to do all day.”
He slid his hand to the back of her neck to gently guide her mouth to his...
And kissed her.
A TICKLE of warm air passed over her eyelashes. She felt his lips brush lightly over her own, dimly aware that his other hand was sliding behind the small of her back. He pulled her tighter to him. Her breasts squashed against the rock hard breadth of his chest, making her feel vulnerable, possessed and completely safe. She shook inside with pleasure and tried to withdraw. He responded by teasing her lips apart, deepening the kiss and his possession. Michael tried to regain control before her brain shut down completely. She had never been kissed so thoroughly.
Then, just when she was ready to give in to him, Hudson released her and left the room without a word.
Michael sat in the firelight, shocked and shaken by what had happened between them. Hudson kissing her and her response is not what alarmed her. It was something else. She took a large swallow of wine and tried to understand what was going on. Ironically, after years of being a playgirl she’d finally met the perfect playboy in Hudson Grace and she was suddenly saddled with a conscience. But it wasn’t Gregory she was thinking of—it was Simon. How many times had that little boy looked up from his cereal to watch another woman walk out the door? Michael wondered if that was why he was so aggressive yesterday. He’d been abandoned by Hudson’s conquests too often. He was only three—he didn’t understand commitment issues.
Hudson kissing her had shaken her to her core. There was something out there that was bigger than her wants and Hudson’s desires and suddenly Michael wanted to know what it was. A few hours of bliss with a new man just wasn’t enough life for her anymore. She took a deep breath and snatched up the phone. Though it wasn’t very late, it took Gregory several rings to pickup.
“Hello?”
“Hi, it’s me,” she said, her eyes filling with tears. As soon as she heard his voice she knew this was the right thing, like she was being guided to this moment. Everything was falling into place. He was going to be so happy when she told him.
~
HUDSON LAY in bed staring at the ceiling. The wind whistled around the cabin. A winter storm. Those were the worst. But it wasn’t the reason he couldn’t sleep.
He had kissed her.
Bad move because: A—you’re her supervisor. B—you want to sleep with her. C—she’s practically engaged. D—you’ll only hurt her because that’s what you do to women.
Hudson’s stomach twisted uncomfortably. Must be the olives.
That conversation about his brother, Riley ... fears he hadn’t confessed to anyone had come pouring out of him. And then when he kissed her, he almost told her he loved her. Literally had to bite his tongue to stop himself.
His guard was down because he knew she wouldn’t be in town for long. That’s all there was to it. He held nothing back for a change because he knew he could get away with it. He kissed her and the earth moved. No big deal.
Imagine what would happen if you made love to her.
“No, don’t,” Hudson muttered aloud. “Not if you want to get any sleep.”
She must be off the phone by now. Hudson swung his legs out of bed and moved to the door. He couldn’t hear anything over the storm so he opened the door and stepped into the hall. A sound coming from the living room seemed to climb above the wind. Michael was crying.
Hudson moved noiselessly down the hall.
“Gregory, I’m sorry. Forget I mentioned it, okay? I don’t know what got into me.... I know, I know we have an agreement ... to be honest, I thought you’d be happy. No, please—actually I’d feel better if we stopped talking about it, okay?” She tried to laugh and then there was a pause followed by: “What? I missed that last thing you said. Repeat what you just said.”
Drawn by the long silence that followed, Hudson stepped into the living room. Michael was kneeling on the floor, twisting the phone cord, with the receiver pressed to her ear.
“Wait—wait—let me say something—do you think I’m happy about this? I put my career in jeopardy. I’m here because of you! I would never have taken part in that protest if I thought I’d get arrested for it. You said I’d get off with a reprimand—! That’s not fair. I didn’t say that. Of course, I believe in your work—”
There was another long pause. Michael closed her eyes. “All right ... if that’s what you want. I’ll call Barbara in the morning. My publicist will make the announcement ... but Greg it doesn’t have to be this way ... we could go on as we were before ... I don’t understand why—what? I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”
The only sound in the room for several seconds was Michael sobbing. She hunched over the receiver. “I see. No, I understand ... maybe when I get back to New York ... No, I’m not pressuring you into doing anything ... it was a stupid idea ... I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I didn’t intend—”
Hudson stepped over to Michael, removed the phone from her hand and held it to his ear. “Hi Greg, this is Hudson Grace. I’m a friend of Michael’s. Listen, Michael is trying to let you down easy but I think it’s better to get straight to the point. It’s over. She feels terrible but that’s the way it goes. Please remove your personal items from her apartment before midnight tonight or the doorman will remove them for you. Merry Christmas.”
Gregory’s voice was st
ill squawking through the receiver as Hudson hung up.
Chapter VI: Six Geese a-Laying
THE PHONE rang almost immediately. Hudson unplugged it from the wall and then bent down to take Michael’s hand. He pulled her to her feet. “Come on.” Her hair covered her face and her shoulders shook. She leaned against his chest and he held her while she cried, waiting until he could hear the tears subsiding before leading her to her room.
He sat her on the edge of her bed. “Wait here.”
Hudson went to the bathroom and ran cold water over a cloth and returned with it. She was sitting where he left her, tears streaming down her cheeks.”I am such an idiot.” He lifted her chin and wiped her face with the cloth as she talked. “He said he didn’t want to get married. And then he said he was questioning what he had got himself into with this relationship. Those were his exact words. He wants me to issue some sort of statement that we aren’t together so the press will leave him alone. He said his civil rights are being violated. His privacy is being invaded.”
“So he wasn’t actually dumping you.”
“I think he was dumping me but he wanted me to do it for him. He kept saying such terrible things, he was leaving me no choice but I couldn’t get the words out. I just froze.”
“I’ve never been with a woman after she’s been dumped. How bad does it get?”
Michael’s stared at him and then frowned. “I don’t know. I’ve never been in this position before. Not in real life—only as Vickie on the show. When Vickie found out her fiancé was sleeping with her stepmother, it was a big deal. She wrecked her car and developed amnesia.”
Hudson eyed her apprehensively. “Where are the keys to the truck?”
She smiled. “Trying to make me laugh—that’s good. Thank you, Mr. Grace, for getting me out of that. How did you know I was in trouble?”
“I heard you crying. I figured it wasn’t going well. I’ve been the guy on the other end of the phone making a woman cry. There is only one way to end those calls—hang up. You can do better. The asshole threw you under the bus for the sake of his organization and then whined about the fall-out. He’s the kind of guy your mother would warn you against.”
The Way Home: Winter (Mandrake Falls Series Romance Book 3) Page 7