by Sandra Brown
Arriving at the multiscreened theater in the mall, Leigh excused herself to go into the ladies’ room. When she returned to the lobby, she saw Chad cornered against the wall by two young women, a blonde and a brunette. The dark-haired one dug deeply into the box of popcorn he offered her, leaning into him as she did so in a way that made Leigh’s blood come to a quick boil.
Chad saw her over his companions’ heads and edged around them toward her. The jealous look she couldn’t mask made him smile. “Leigh, this is Helen and her friend… uh…”
“Donna, you unchivalrous creature,” the blonde said, swatting him in the chest.
Leigh stifled an impulse to rebuke the woman for her familiarity. “Hello,” she said coolly.
“Hi,” the two young women chimed in unison.
“There’s gonna be another Western dance and barbecue at the armory on New Year’s Eve, Chad. You comin’?” asked Helen between chomps on her bubble gum.
“I don’t know. I’ll have to consult Leigh. Since our wedding is the next day, we may have to forego the dance.”
“Weddin’?” Helen asked on a high note. “You’re gettin’ married?”
“I believe that’s what one usually does at a wedding,” Chad said gently. Leigh felt her irrational jealousy subside. Chad had only wanted an opportunity to break the news to Helen and Donna; he was as possessive of Leigh as she felt toward him.
“Oh, well, congratulations,” Helen said cheerfully, if insincerely. “See ya, Chad.”
She stamped off, leaving the stupefied Donna to follow.
“You’re gettin’ married?” Leigh mimicked as he escorted her toward the theater.
“And I can’t wait,” he said, ducking his head to kiss her smackingly on the mouth. “Now be quiet.”
He seated them in the last row in the two seats next to the wall. Since the theater was only a fourth filled, their choice of seats was most conspicuous.
“Chad,” Leigh said under her breath. “Perhaps I’ve never told you I’m a bit nearsighted. I can’t see this far away.”
“Doesn’t matter. As soon as they dim the lights, I’m planning on getting in some serious kissing and heavy petting.”
“I want to see the movie,” Leigh warned teasingly.
“I’ve seen it. It’s not so hot.”
“You’ve seen it?” she asked in a stage whisper that caused their nearest neighbors to turn their heads in annoyance. She lowered her voice. “Why didn’t you say so?”
“Because I wanted to get in some”
“Serious kissing,” she finished for him.
“Don’t forget the heavy petting.”
“Well, I’m going to watch the movie. You can console yourself with your junk food.”
“Junk, schmunk, it’s dee-licious,” he countered, tossing a handful of popcorn into his mouth.
Leigh settled into her seat and stared at the screen that looked to her like an animated postage stamp at the end of a dark tunnel. She curtly refused Chad’s offer of some popcorn, a slurp of his Coke, or a handful of his candied almonds.
Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him finish each morsel and place his empty boxes neatly under his seat. He was right. The movie wasn’t very good, but she shot him a quelling look when he surreptitiously slid his arm along the back of her seat.
With a lazy finger, he lifted a strand of hair away from her ear. “Wanna neck?” he asked with an exaggerated Texas twang.
She wriggled away from him. “No! Now behave yourself.”
“Oh, okay,” he sighed. “For decency’s sake, we’d better leave the serious kissing for when we’re alone. What about nonserious kissing?”
“Nonserious kissing we can do.” She relented. He kissed her chastely on the cheek. “Now let’s watch the movie… What’s it about?”
He whispered the muddled plot into her ear until he caught up with the scene currently on the screen. They watched the rest of the movie, though neither was really interested. When the female lead sat up in a satin-sheeted bed and the sheet slipped to beguilingly expose one rosy breast, Chad whispered out of the corner of his mouth, “Not nearly as good as these.” His fingertips slid up to her left breast and caressed it seductively.
She slapped him playfully on the arm and said, “Unchivalrous creature!” They laughed softly at their private joke.
Returning to Chad’s house seething with sexual tension, they found the Jacksons being enchanted by a well-behaved Sarah. Lois had made herself at home in Chad’s kitchen and had a supper of cold sandwiches and canned soup waiting for them.
“Pass the salt, please.”
“Leigh, you eat too much salt,” Lois chided. “You acquired that habit when you were pregnant.”
“Too much salt is bad for a pregnant woman, isn’t it?” Chad asked.
“I thought you only specialized in delivery,” Leigh teased. “How would you know anything about pregnant women?”
For a moment his hands stilled and his expression became blank. Then he shrugged and replied, “Common knowledge.” He switched subjects quickly. “These sandwiches are delicious, Mrs. Jackson. Thank you.”
During the rest of the meal the conversation flowed around her, but Leigh couldn’t shake off an unaccountable uneasiness. Did it have anything to do with Chad’s strange expression when the topic of pregnancy came up?
The Jacksons left as soon as Lois and Leigh had cleared up the dishes. Chad’s arm was settled around her shoulders as they waved them off, but she felt there was an invisible barrier between them, a restraint that had never been there before. What had happened between the time they arrived home and now to cause a breach she couldn’t even understand?
He was as awkward as she as they closed the front door and Leigh began gathering up Sarah’s and her belongings to take home. She was stuffing articles into Sarah’s diaper bag when he sat down beside her on the sofa and took both her hands.
“Leave that for a minute. I want to talk to you before I take you home.”
Reflexively she swallowed. “All right,” she said as steadily as she could. Her heart was pounding with dread. Instinctively she knew that she didn’t want to have this discussion with him.
“Leigh,” he said, glancing away, then forcing himself to look into her inquiring eyes. “Sharon was pregnant when she… died.”
She sucked in her breath sharply, started to utter a small exclamation, but bit it off just in time. For long moments she held her breath as she stared at him wordlessly. When her breath was released, it was on a long sigh. “I see,” she said weakly.
Wanting to put distance between them so she could think more easily, she stood up and went to the window. She looked at the decorated lawn with unseeing eyes. Behind her she felt a great chasm opening between them. She longed to turn around, to reach for his hand to pull her back across to him, but the gap became wider. He was on one side, she the other.
“I don’t think you do see,” he said quietly.
She didn’t. Her mind was screaming hysterically. Since Chad had first told her of Sharon’s reluctance in romantic regards, she hadn’t thought of them as loving physically. Selfish and insane as it was, knowing that Sharon had conceived his child filled her with enraged jealousy. It was a juvenile sentiment under the circumstances, but she couldn’t help the bitter emotions that boiled in her throat and left a metallic taste in her mouth.
“You see, Sharon—”
“I don’t want to know,” she said harshly, spinning around. Her body was rigid, her eyes cold and brittle. “Please, spare me the details.”
Chad was off the sofa in a heartbeat. “Dammit, it’s a no-win situation with you, isn’t it? I wanted to tell you so you wouldn’t find out accidentally like you—”
“Like I have about everything else. Is that what you’re trying to say?”
“Yes,” he said tightly. “I’m trying to be honest with you, Leigh. You’ve accused me of keeping secrets, and I don’t want to have any secrets between us. I could have tak
en the easy way out, kept my mouth shut and hoped you’d never find out about this. Few people knew Sharon was pregnant besides me and my parents. It was bad enough having a wife committing suicide. I didn’t announce to the world that she’d killed my baby, too.”
She saw his anguish, his pain, and was filled with remorse. She ducked her head and closed a hand over her eyes. Her fingers trailed down her face to her lips as she lifted her head. “I’m sorry, Chad. I’m sorry.” Ashamed of her reaction to his honesty, she wanted to make amends.
She covered the space between them and led him back to the sofa. “What happened?” she asked gently.
“We didn’t plan on having any children for a while. She was… the thought of birth, motherhood, terrified her. But she was no more responsible than a child herself and…” He raked a hand through his hair. Leigh longed to reach up and pat it back into place, but she remained still. “Anyway, when she found out she was pregnant, she panicked. That may have contributed to her suicide.” He sighed. “I don’t know.”
“Were you angry with her? I mean afterward, when it was all over, were you angry that she had robbed you of your child?”
His eyes drilled into hers. “How did you know? I was mad as hell. I knew I was supposed to grieve, but I was so angry, I couldn’t.”
Now she did touch him, reaching up to smooth his brows. “I felt the same way when Greg was killed. I kept asking how he could do that to me.”
“I guess those are human reactions. Nothing to be proud of, but extremely human.”
“I just underwent another such reaction. When you told me that Sharon had been carrying your child, I knew envy for the first time in my life.”
He hugged her to him. “My Leigh. Sharon getting pregnant was an accident of nature. When you and I make babies, it will be a celebration of life and the love we have for each other.”
She reclined against him, thankful that Sarah had been worn out by her grandparents’ attention and was sleeping in her crib. “Chad, hold me. Love me.”
“You may count on both,” he whispered into her hair.
Chapter Ten
Christmas Day was boisterous and happy. Chad picked up Leigh and Sarah and drove them to the Dillons’ ranch in Leigh’s car to accommodate the presents heaped in the back seat. The Jacksons, given directions earlier, were to meet them there.
Amelia Dillon had gone all-out in preparation for the day. The antique sideboard in the dining room was laden with date-nut bread, biscuits stuffed with tiny sausages and cheese, myriad cookies, and other delectables to tide the guests over until the turkey feast was ready. The desserts were lined up across the back of the sideboard. Unable to resist, and before either Leigh or his mother could stop him, Chad had helped himself to a piece of a tall coconut layer cake.
Upon their arrival, the Jacksons complimented Leigh and Chad on the tree they had decorated. Lois was less impressed with the ranch house than she had been with Chad’s, but she treated the Dillons with polite deference. She refused to acknowledge that Mr. Dillon walked with a pronounced limp on his left leg.
Leigh found him sitting alone in the living room, rubbing his thigh just above the knee. “Stewart, you shouldn’t wear your prosthesis if it’s uncomfortable.” He and Amelia had both insisted that she call them by their first names.
“You’re a dear lady, Leigh,” he said, lifting his eyes to hers as she leaned over him. “Don’t worry about this,” he said, indicating his leg. “I’m almost used to it by now.”
She sat down beside him. “How long has it been?”
“ ’Bout five years. I was close to retiring anyway, but I sure hated to be forced into it.”
She looked toward the kitchen where laughter told her everyone else was enjoying Sarah’s antics. “Why do you and Chad do the work you do?” She had never been able to talk with Chad about wild-well control, yet she wanted to know about it. It was like being in a scary movie and not wanting to watch but being unable to keep from it.
“It’s like nothing else, Leigh,” Stewart Dillon said, excitement in his voice. “It’s a challenge few men ever get the opportunity to meet. How many accountants are there? Or teachers? Or doctors or lawyers or engineers? And how many of us? We’re rare. I guess that kind of uniqueness gives a man a sense of pride. Maybe that’s part of the reason I loved it and why Chad does now.”
“Weren’t you ever afraid of the danger?”
He was still for a moment. Leigh could almost see the procession of oil-well fires he had fought parading behind his eyes as he examined how he had faced each one. “No. I can’t say I was ever afraid. Don’t take me wrong. I was always careful. We’re trained to be careful, never doing anything that isn’t planned, synchronized, with every other man on the team. But there’s something about facing that fire,” he said with intensity. Leigh saw his fists clench in a gesture reminding her of Chad. His voice was a hoarse whisper.
“It’s bigger than you. Mean, destructive, costly. It’s fierce, a modern-day dragon. And you defeat it. Snuff it out.” He sighed heavily, but it was a sigh of elation, and his eyes glowed with excited reminiscence. Leigh knew the instant he realized he was in his own safe living room. Sadness filled his eyes as he turned to look at her.
“I’ll always miss it,” he said wistfully.
“Hey, you two, you’re not in on the fun. Sarah’s—” Chad broke off and Leigh became aware of the tears glistening in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, nothing,” Stewart said, slapping his hands against his thighs as he stood up with an ease that startled Leigh. “Come on, Leigh. I thought you said you wanted another piece of that pumpkin bread.”
He extended his hand to help her off the sofa, then escorted her to Chad, who was staring at her from the archway leading into the hall. “Cut her a thick slice, Dad, and add some whipped cream. I don’t want a skinny bride.” Stewart chuckled as he went toward the kitchen. “Leigh?” Chad said gently. A worried frown wrinkled the lines across his forehead. “What’s the matter? Have you been crying? Is something wrong?”
She looked up into the eyes she loved, into the face that bespoke great strength of character. “No, nothing. It’s just that I love you so much.” She wrapped her arms around him and pressed her cheek against his heart. How could she ever be fully resigned to sending him off to such a hell? A fire. Fierce. A modern-day dragon. Where would she get the courage?
On the other hand, if she loved him, how could she ask him not to go? If he welcomed the challenge of the job as much as Stewart had, could she deny it to him? It was his work, as important and vital to him as Greg’s had been to him. Somewhere she’d find the courage to let him do the job he loved.
“Loving me is something to cry about?” he teased fondly.
She sniffed and blinked back tears. “I’m crying because I’m standing under the mistletoe with my fiancé and he hasn’t kissed me yet.”
“The cad,” he said before he took her mouth with a bone-melting kiss.
After a dinner that would have satisfied the most gluttonous horde of vandals, the fathers retired to the living room to watch a football game. Lois and Amelia stayed in the kitchen to exchange recipes and plan grandchildren. Leigh and Chad went upstairs, ostensibly to put Sarah down for her nap.
The baby was again laid on the bed in Chad’s old room. An eager Chad pulled a willing Leigh into his arms as soon as Sarah drifted off to sleep.
“Woman, how am I going to stand this another week?” he asked into her hair which, under his pillaging fingers, fell from the ivory combs that had held it in a festive knot on top of her head. “Let’s play doctor.”
“No, your mother might come up here to check on us.”
“That’s what the first girl I asked to play doctor said.”
Leigh drew back and gave him a look of much severity. “And just who was that and how long ago?”
“About twenty-five years ago. Maryjoy Clayton. She lived next door. She came over to play and I suggested ‘hospita
l.’ I was going to be a doctor,” he said with a wicked grin.
“I’ll bet.”
“Anyway, she wouldn’t,” he sighed. “That’s been the story of my life.”
“Do you honestly expect me to believe that? I’m the jealous, possessive type. I’m going to have to fight the women off.”
“No, you won’t. You’re the only one I want.” Taking her hand, he led her to a desk in the corner and, when he had sat down in the chair, pulled her onto his lap. “You look beautiful today, future wife,” he said, kissing the corner of her mouth.
“Do you like my dress?”
“I love it,” he said, never even looking at the red georgette frock with the long, cuffed sleeves, the white Peter Pan collar with the black satin bow tied beneath it. “How do I get into it?” he asked, groping at the pearl buttons down her back.
“You’re incorrigible.”
“Is that the technical term for my condition? I have one much more descriptive.”
“Chad!”
He caught her behind the neck with his hand and brought her head down for his kiss. Without hesitation, her arms encircled his neck. His mouth tasted like the wine his mother had served with dinner and Leigh’s tongue savored the golden taste all over again.
“Damn!” he cursed the tiny buttons that refused to cooperate and pulled away from her in frustration. “I’m not going to get you out of this, am I?”
“Not too easily, no.”
He made an agonized face and growled menacingly. “Then I’ll have to content myself with memories. Do you still have that bottle of baby oil?”
“Shhhh,” she hissed and cast a guilty look over her shoulder toward the door.
He laughed. “What am I marrying, a closet pervert? In the light of day, don’t you own up to being kinky?”
“I am not kinky!” she protested indignantly. “That was a therapeutic massage I gave you. You said your shoulders were tense.”