by A. C. Heller
“Takeo?”
“Don't. Just...Quiet.”
Takeo paces for a while longer and I do as he asked, just silently watching him. When he stops he turns towards me.
“This can't happen.”
My heart sinks in my chest and the words linger in the air between us. I don't really know what to say. So I slide myself off the side of the bed completely forgetting about my clothes. As I place my hand on the doorknob to open it Takeo touches my shoulder. I don't turn to look at him because I don't want him to see my face, but he speaks anyway.
“I'm sorry.”
Those words hurt worse then what he had said before, and it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that I had been crushing on him hard. Even if I hadn't realized it until this moment. Still, it's now that I realize the only reason I got so angry with him was because deep down I wanted him to like me and his constant rejections ate away at me. There were moments when he was so sweet to me, but the bad simply outweighs the good.
Upon entering my room I see my bed is made and the room is totally clean. I'm not surprised that Liza felt the need to clean up in here. I haven't even spent any time in here, except to come in and change or shower. There was no point since I had been sleeping in Takeo's room. Takeo... I had gotten used to sleeping next to him, his warmth soothing me to sleep every night. Whether he was willing to admit it or not I know he felt the connection between us. There's something there, something profound. Maybe I'm reading too much into it or I've read entirely too many romance novels, but it just feels right…
Later that night while I’m trying my best to fall asleep I hear hushed voices coming from outside of my room. I can’t make out what they’re saying but by the deepness of the voices I know its Aiden and Angelo. Climbing out of bed I walk over to my bedroom door and throw it open. Both of their heads jerk up as the door opens and now I can see that they are leaning with their backs against the wall across from my room. Their lips are tight and it’s easy to tell that something has them pissed off.
“What’s up guys?”
Angelo only shakes his head and stomps down the hall. Um. Okay. Aiden hasn’t moved but now he’s staring at the floor.
“What’s wrong with him? Actually, what’s wrong with both of you?”
Aiden looks up at me and his face is blank but his eyes are troubled. He takes a deep breath and speaks softly to me, almost like I’m a child.
“Chas, it’s no big deal. Takeo just went out.”
What’s the big deal? Takeo’s a grown man; he can leave the compound if he wants.
“So?”
“No, he went out, Chas. Like, out on the town.”
The realization of what he means washes over me and I feel my face pale. Ugh. I feel sick.
“Oh… That’s cool. I’m… going to go back to sleep now.”
Turning around towards my bedroom door I make it two steps before Aiden calls out to me.
“Chas, wait!”
Not bothering to turn around I turn my head slightly to the right in acknowledgement.
“He does this sometimes, you know? It doesn’t mean anything.”
Hurt and an odd sense of betrayal are coursing through me like tiny razors. I know my voice is going to sound like I’m crying but I don’t care.
“That’s where you’re wrong.”
As I enter my room I hear Aiden sigh from behind me. The moment the door is completely closed several tears run down my cheeks, but I won’t allow myself to cry. Only enough to quell the searing pain in my chest. He doesn't want me... On that realization I come to only one conclusion. I have to get the hell out of this place.
Chapter Ten
Two months ago, Takeo made it pretty clear that him and I were not going to happen. But ever since I've been in this sort of funk. Let’s face it, I’m depressed. Aiden and Angelo have both tried to cheer me up but they know something is wrong. Something I won't talk to them about. Over the past two months I've spent a good portion of my time trying to figure out how I can get out of this place without anyone noticing, and I've yet to find a way.
Strolling through the compound I find myself in the kitchen. Maybe if I make some cookies I'll feel better. I'm willing to try anything at this point. Upon entering the kitchen I hear a loud metallic bang. Aiden and Angelo are standing at the counter, covered in flour, both with looks of disappointment on their faces.
“What are you two doing?”
Angelo tries to dust himself off but he's really past the point of simply shaking off that mess. He steps towards me and takes my hand in his.
“We're uh... Baking?.”
They're what? Oh no... Walking forward I see that they have in fact made me something. Aiden grins at me and points down at the cookie sheet. On it are little cookies shaped like stars. That's...too perfect. Smiling, I lean in and hug each of them. Snatching a still warm cookie I take a bite and try to blink away the tears that have pooled in my eyes. They're actually really good.
“Thank you, guys. Really. I needed this.”
Aiden rests his arm across my shoulders and tugs me into his side. These guys really care about me, and even before this moment I cared about them too.
“We know. That's why we did it. Plus, we're going to be gone for a few days, so we wanted to do something for you while we could.”
“You guys are leaving?”
They both nod in response.
“How long will you be gone?”
“We don't know. Duty calls and all that. Orders came down this morning saying all available men needed to go, and since you haven't had any 'accidents' lately the higher ups seem to think it's necessary for us to go too.”
It's mean and wrong but I want to cheer. All I can think is, this is it. This is my out. At that thought Damiano walks into the room. I want to roll my eyes at him but he glares at me before I can. Inwardly cringing, I wonder if he was in my head just then. He doesn't comment though, he just walks over to the refrigerator and pulls out a bottle of water. He takes a sip and walks back out of the kitchen.
“Is everyone going?”
This time it's Angelo that answers.
“Yeah.”
“Even Damiano?”
“Unfortunately. But don't worry, you won't be entirely unguarded. This morning Aiden reinforced our security system with a grid layout. If anything comes within thirty feet of the compound that isn't carrying one of our badges an alarm will sound and a few men will show up to check it out.”
“That's good. It's not gonna go off if, like, a leaf hits it, will it?”
Angelo and Aiden both chuckle at my question.
“No. It's more complex then that. It's triggered by proximity as well as body heat and mass. So as long as a bear doesn't feel the need to head your way, you should be good.”
That's going to be an issue, but I'll worry about that later. The three of us sit down at the table and chat and joke for awhile. That is, until Takeo comes in. He doesn't say anything, he just sits down at his usual spot at the table. I can feel his eyes on me, but I don't even bother looking his way.
My mind wanders as I go over the things I need to pack. I'll need to bring some clothes, but I don't want to take a lot. I wouldn't feel right, because they aren't really mine. I'm not really sure where the compound is located so food and water might be a good idea. All I got to see the night I went out was that we're completely surrounded by woods. So, boots, yeah boots would be smart. Suddenly I'm pulled back to the table when I hear my name called several times by Aiden.
“You were gone, Chas. Where did you go?”
“To my happy place.”
Aiden smirks and shakes his head.
“So what are you gonna do all by your lonesome for a few days?”
“Oh, you know. Plot my escape.”
Well, I was honest but I end it with a grin. I can tell it worked because Aiden and Angelo laugh. Takeo however is still silent. Even if he wants to say something, I don't think he will. He's said very little to me since that
night. I understand now that he wanted me to stay in his room because he could watch me closer, but that's so not happening anymore.
The knowledge that this might be the last time I see any of them has my heart aching. Leaning into Aiden slightly I whisper into his ear that I want to talk to him when he gets a chance. He nods and excuses us from the table. Once we make it into the living room I motion for him to take a seat. Sitting down next to him I take his hand in mine and hold it tight.
“What's up, Chas? Everything okay?”
“I need to talk to you about something. I'd say it's semi-serious.”
“Alright. Let me have it.”
Taking a moment to collect my thoughts I decide to just go for it.
“You know how you've kissed me and been there for me, and all of that?”
“Uh... Yeah?”
“Did you do it because you think you're my warrior?”
Aiden's face blanches. He looks down at our joined hands and shakes his head, making it clear that I surprised him. He gives my hand a squeeze and looks back up at me.
“You know, back then? I really thought I might be, you know? Hell, I wanted to be. But to tell you the truth Chas, as much as I want it to be true, I know I'm not.”
Those are the magic words. That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Aiden is such a great person, I know one day he'll find a girl. And in a way, I'll always be a little sorry it wasn't me.
“Just because you aren't my warrior doesn't mean you won't be someone’s. Any girl would be lucky to call you hers.”
He blushes slightly and smiles at me. Leaning forward to get up I plant a kiss on his cheek.
“For what it's worth, I love you, Aiden. You're one of the best friends I have.”
“I feel the same way, Chas.”
With one last smile I leave the room. I don't hear anything coming from the kitchen so I know where to find Angelo. Rounding the corner into the gym I can see that Angelo is already shirtless and throwing his fists at a heavy bag suspended from the ceiling. He has rock music playing so I walk over to the stereo and turn it down. He immediately stops and looks up. Once he sees that it's me he smiles and walks over to me.
“Hey, Sweetheart.”
“Hi.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I just need to talk to you.”
“Sure, sure. What's up?”
“Do you think you're my warrior?”
“Jesus...fuck. Right to the point, eh?”
Shrugging my shoulders I smile at him.
“In all fairness, I learned that from you.”
He laughs and nods in agreement.
“Yeah, I suppose I'm to blame for that. But to answer your question, I don't know. I wanna be, I really do. You're beautiful, a good person, and you put up with my shit. But I gotta say, every time I kissed you I kept waiting to feel it, but I didn't.”
Angelo's expression turns to one of sorrow as he says the words. I would have known he meant it just by his tone but his face only confirms it.
“I know what you mean. You were waiting for that spark, that connection. That euphoric feeling that everything is as it should be.”
“So you've felt it, huh?”
I don't answer him. There's no point in bringing up something that won't matter tomorrow.
“I can't wait to see the girl who tames you, Angelo. She's gonna have to be pretty bad ass.”
Angelo grins and nods. I'm walking backwards out of the room as he yells to me.
“You got that right!”
Laughing I head back into the kitchen. On the table there is a folded up piece of paper. I really shouldn't open it, but maybe I can see who it belongs to and return it. Opening it, I lean my hip against the table while I scan the words on the page.
Five of seven sins will cause your fall.
Escape Wrath.
Deflect Envy.
Eschew Lust.
Divert Pride.
Shun Sloth.
That's really weird. Folding the note back up I set it down where it was and head over to the refrigerator. Grabbing a few bottles of water I shut the door. A small scream escapes me when I turn and Takeo is standing not even two inches away.
“Jesus! You scared the hell out of me!”
Takeo doesn't respond to that, but his eyes focus on the water bottles in my arms before he looks back up making eye contact with me.
“Thirsty?”
“Very.”
Takeo has a look on this face that speaks volumes. It's funny how not even a month ago I wouldn't have understood this look but now... Now I know from that look alone that he sees right through my bullshit.
“You're making the wrong decision.”
“I don't know what you're talking about.”
I'm looking at the floor now. All of a sudden I find it incredibly difficult to look him in the face and blatantly lie. I've never been a liar, or even remotely good at prevaricating for that matter, but I've made up my mind. I'm leaving, and no one is going to stop me. Takeo sighs and shakes his head in disapproval. He looks disappointed and knowing I caused him to look at me like that makes my heart hurt.
“Some lessons are best learned the hard way, little one. If you go through with this, know that you are entering a world without protection.”
“I'm not expecting anyone to protect me. I can take care of myself.”
“You have no idea what awaits you.”
I'm so tired of being treated like a small child. I am more then capable of taking care of myself. This, things like this, are why I'm getting the hell out of here. Or more to the point, him. I can't live like this anymore.
“You think I don't understand but I do! I understand all too well what can happen. My fucking parents died because of me, and even you have to know it's only a matter of time before they get to me.”
Takeo's face hardens. His fists are clenched at his sides and he's holding his body completely still. All at once his arm shoots out and his fist smashes into the cement block wall of the compound. My eyes widen and I jump back as I see that his fist isn't mangled or bleeding, but the wall has a sizable hole in it. Holy shit! Takeo leans down into my face and whispers, but it isn't a soothing or sweet whisper, it's a fucking scary one.
“You're alone in this.”
“I’ve been alone my entire life.”
“No one will come for you.”
“Good. Great. Fantastic. It's about time certain people left me alone.”
We're silently staring at each other now, both refusing to look away. I know there are tears in my eyes but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to leave any of them but when it comes down to it, I have to. I won't let anyone else die because of me. When Takeo speaks his words are final, void of all emotion, and they slice through my already broken heart like a knife through butter.
“Well that's precisely what you'll be.”
Just like I was meant to be…
Chapter Eleven
It's time. Sitting up in bed, I take a moment to look around. The compound is silent, but still I know I have to be careful. Everyone has been gone for two days, but I figured if I left right after they did someone would notice. And maybe, just maybe, if I waited Takeo might think I changed my mind. A girl can hope right?
My clothing choices are warm ones. A thick black sweater and jeans. The boots are a size too big but I fix that by putting on an extra pair of socks. After pulling on and zipping up my coat I pull my hair up in a high ponytail. Taking a moment to check myself out in the mirror I notice how awful I look. My eyes are red rimmed and puffy, there's no denying I spent a lot of time crying. But that doesn't matter now, it's time to put on my big girl panties and get the fuck out of here.
I managed to find a backpack in a locker in the locker room so I stocked it with things I figured I might need. Food, water, clean socks, and underwear. You know, the necessities. Oh! And a flashlight. I'm still a little proud of myself that I remembered to grab one. Once I reach the exit door in
the offices I set my pack down. I know I'm hesitating but it's for good reason. I forgot about the new security system. As soon as I exit the alarm is going to go off. Fuck.
Going over what Angelo had said in my head several times I come to only one insane conclusion. If I want out, I have to do this. It's the only way. This is going to suck... Before I can lose my nerve, I find myself running full force towards the cooling chamber. Skipping the steps completely I jump into the freezing water, and it soaks into my clothes causing my body to begin to shiver uncontrollably. Gritting my teeth I wade out of the water and run back to my pack.