My feet seemed to move on automatic, turning me in the direction of the house and walking right to Kate. I whispered in her ear so she could hear, and her grin was wider than I’d ever seen it.
I walked out the front door, grateful to be out in the fresh air and away from the thumping bass. Jake stepped onto the sidewalk from behind a bush, startling me a bit.
“Just me,” he said, his hands out to reassure me. “I forgot how jumpy you get.”
I chuckled at that comment, several memories playing through my head within about three seconds. “Yeah, I’m definitely not one to take through the haunted houses.”
We walked down the sidewalk a ways, both of us quiet. For once, it felt like old times, where we could just let each other be and only talk when we needed to.
Jake opened the passenger door for me, and I nodded, grateful he was willing to take me home in the middle of a party. My heart raced as I waited for him to walk around the Jeep and get into the driver’s seat. For some odd reason, this felt like a first date.
He started the engine and pulled out of the spot, turning around in the crowded cul-de-sac. “You look amazing, by the way. How does it feel to survive your first party?” He glanced over at me with a mischievous grin before turning his eyes back to the road. I was grateful for that small action as I felt safer when he was watching the road, and my breathing was able to get back to normal. His first words echoed in my mind, and I wanted to ask him more about it. But part of me was worried I wouldn’t like the reasoning behind his flirty comment.
“That wasn’t my first party. I went to one in ninth grade. It wasn’t quite as loud and busy as this one, but it wasn’t too bad.”
“Ninth grade, huh,” Jake asked, his wrist on top of the steering wheel and his other hand resting on the console between us. “That surprises me. You’ve always been straight-laced.”
I turned a bit to face him, ready for whatever argument was about to ensue. “You were the same way, I remember. Was that just because of me or because that’s who you were before this persona took over?”
When his face fell, I backpedaled, resting my hand on his forearm. “Jake, I didn’t mean it like that. I know there’s been a lot going on in your life. I guess I’ve just been jealous all this time that you didn’t want to share it with me. That high school and popularity and girls could so easily replace what we’d had together.”
He bit his lower lip, looking as though he was debating internally what he should say. “That’s where you’ve got it wrong, Pen. It was never easy.”
Chapter 19
Jake
A storm of emotions swelled up within me, and I couldn’t decide if I should explode or just do the best I could to calm them all down. Maybe taking Penny home was a mistake. I’d wanted to be with her, hear her talk a bit more, but somehow she just kept acting like I’d cast her off like an old worn-out shoe. Which I had done.
“My dad took the job promotion about two months before your mother walked out. You remember it, right? He invited your family over for that big cookout to celebrate.”
I glanced at Penny, and she nodded slowly. “I’d forgotten about that. We ate three ice cream bars and swore we were going to be sick forever.” She laughed, the sound of it easing some of the tension in the pit of my stomach.
“Right. I didn’t realize the promotion would make it so he had to travel so often. He’d done a couple of trips a year before, but this was Monday to Friday stuff. At first, it was kind of nice because he didn’t have a chance to ask me about baseball every time I was around him. But it was like he saved up every conversation for the weekend. It got to the point where I was starting to dislike baseball, just because he kept pushing it on me so much.”
Penny’s hand twitched, and I realized it was still on my forearm. The feeling was comforting and almost intimate.
“I remember having to drag you out a few times to play catch. I kept wondering what was wrong with you since it had been what we’d done for so many years.” I glanced over, and it was as though a little light bulb had lit in her eyes.
I nodded, remembering how her eyes had been so fiery every time, telling me I would turn into a no-good worthless kid if I didn’t stick with it. The passion of thirteen-year-olds.
“A couple weeks before your mom left, my dad came home drunker than I’d ever seen him. I woke up to him yelling at my mother, throwing her into walls and punching her in the face. I did my best to intervene, but he hit me in the stomach, taking all the air with it. I crumpled to the floor, trying to breathe, and he just stood above me, laughing.” I cringed, remembering the details as vividly as the day it happened. “He leaned over and spit in my face, calling me a disappointment and a waste.”
“Oh, Jake, I had no idea. Why didn’t you tell me? I just thought you were being ornery because you were a teenager. I didn’t know all that was happening.”
I shrugged, turning the Jeep onto the main street once the stoplight turned green. “I think some part of me thought that if I couldn’t protect my own mother from him, how could I protect anyone, ever?”
The words tasted acidic on my tongue, and saying them seemed to put everything into a clear movie reel. I’d started pulling away from Penny but hadn’t quite understood at the time why. She’d been my rock for so long that it was difficult to drift away, find new friends or create stronger friendships with the ones I had. But I’d put up the walls to keep it from affecting me when I saw her outside looking like she’d lost her dog. And I’d kept telling myself she was better off without me.
“You were thirteen, and it’s not like your dad is some small guy.” The concern on her face as we pulled into her driveway helped with some of the bitter memories that sprang up again.
“I know, but at that age, you just think you’re so big, you know? That you should be able to take care of your loved ones. But I failed my mom. And then it became a routine. He’d come home from a business trip, sloshed, and the fists would start flying. I made sure the twins stayed hidden as much as possible and did what I could to soften the blows for my mom, but she’d always end up with a black eye or a broken bone.” I blew out a breath, trying to keep the anxiety of the memories from causing an attack. “I tried to report it several times, but my mother always smoothed it over, claiming it was her own clumsiness that caused each accident.”
I paused a moment, feeling some relief as the words lifted a burden I’d been carrying for so long. I’d never mentioned anything to the guys, only saying we couldn’t hang out at my house when my dad would be home. Finally breaking my silence made things clearer.
“Does he still do that?” Tears were in her eyes, and one slid down the side of her cheek, black trailing it from her mascara.
“Not as much anymore. He’s moved on to other vices.” I looked out the window and over at my house, seeing my mother’s light on. My heart broke for her, but as much as she’d tried to get out, something always kept her there, taking the brunt of the blows, whether physical or emotional. It was probably me and my two sisters.
Penny placed her hands on my cheeks, turning my face toward her. Tears streaked down her face. “I’m the worst person in the world. After all this time, I thought you were the biggest jerk ever. But you were just trying to keep your family together as best as you could at thirteen and fourteen. I’m so sorry. I wish I’d been able to help.”
Her words caused my own tears to surge. Why hadn’t I trusted her with this before? I might have had someone to lean on, might not have lost Troy. Might have convinced my mother to move on and start a new life out of this cycle of nightmares.
With the Jeep in park, I reached over, wrapping my arm around her and pulling her to my chest as much as I could over the console in between us. She sobbed against me for several minutes, and a new sensation took over. I’d never really seen Penny cry, but to hold her and comfort her seemed like the most natural thing to do.
I stroked her hair, loving the feeling of the softness between my fingers.
“Hey, it’s okay. You shouldn’t be the one crying. I’m the one who pushed you away.”
Penny sat up, wiping under her eyes with her fingers. “But I should have kept pushing back. I should have known you had something more than just getting older that was making you act all weird.”
She sniffed, and another stray tear started to fall. Reaching out, I wiped it away, my hand next to her lips, drawing my eyes to them. I’d thought about those lips more in the past few weeks than I’d thought about any lips in all my life.
I glanced up, watching her eyes as they searched my face for something. Pausing a second, I took a breath and moved in, brushing my lips to hers.
She stilled, and I pulled back, hoping I hadn’t ruined everything more than I’d already done before. Her gaze dipped back to my lips, and I leaned in again, this time wrapping my hand through her hair and around her neck, pulling her closer to intensify the kiss.
The warmth that flowed between us, as well as the sparks I could have sworn were going off, made me wonder how I could’ve ever thought about kissing another girl. Not that I’d ever kissed Penny before, but this moment was everything and more. It was like the world was finally righting itself, helping me get back to the vision of how my life was supposed to be.
A ringtone pierced the silence in the Jeep, and we both jumped back, looking as though we’d just been caught. I glanced down to see the screen of her phone on her lap. It was her father.
“You might want to answer that,” I said, scooting back in my seat and running my hands through my hair.
“Uh, hey, Dad. Yeah, I got a ride home. I’ll be right in.” Penny hung up the phone, her eyes darting around to everything in the vehicle but my face. “I, um, I need to go. Thank you for the ride and for telling me all that. I’m not sure how you managed to keep all that bottled up for so long, but just know that I’m right next door. Call me or whatever, and we can talk if you need to.”
Her hand squeezed mine, and she leaned forward, kissing me lightly on the cheek. She hesitated a moment before waving and getting out of the Jeep.
I leaned my head back against the headrest as I watched to make sure she made it inside. I wasn’t sure how I’d gone from enemy number one to kissing her, but the bridge had been rebuilt, and I finally felt like my life wasn’t a constant rollercoaster of emotions. Maybe I had a chance at a happily ever after despite what had happened before.
I glanced up as the light turned on in her window and Penny peeked out. I’d be lucky to have her by my side for the rest of my life. Now I just needed to make sure I didn’t screw it up.
Chapter 20
Penny
I was still thinking about that kiss on Thursday, days later. Even my lips seemed to have the humming feel of the vibrations imprinted on them, able to be called up at the slightest thought of a kiss. We’d had several games, and I had some tests to study for, so I hadn’t been on the schedule for work since the week before, meaning I only got to see Jake in passing.
But every time my phone pinged, I’d race to see who the message was from. Jake had messaged me several times, and I might have gone back and looked at the conversations at least twenty times, analyzing them for the littlest details. Each time I’d bounce from disbelief to elation as I thought about all of our interactions over the past few weeks.
We hadn’t even messaged about the kiss, or anything significant, for that matter. Had the kiss been because what he’d revealed to me was so secret? The thought made me cringe. I didn’t want to be another girl on his list of conquests.
I arrived at school earlier than usual and took a seat on the large platform in the common area. Only a few people milled about at that time of the morning, and I pulled out a book, knowing I needed to finish it since the night would be taken up by a game forty-five minutes away.
“What’s with the sad face, friend?” Kate slid up next to me and gave me a look of concern. “I would think you’d still be on cloud nine from this weekend.”
I’d told Kate the whole story of Jake offering to drive me home and the breathtaking kiss when I’d seen her Saturday morning—minus Jake’s confession—practically bouncing as I paced back and forth in my bedroom. But was I jumping to the conclusion that a kiss could mean something more, especially given Jake’s reputation?
It had been my first kiss and an amazing one at that, but I had nothing to compare it to. Maybe I had been awkward and Jake was just being polite by not saying anything.
“Just trying to get this book read for English tomorrow. How are things with you? No sign of mystery kisser, huh?” I gave her a mischievous smile and bumped her shoulder with mine. Kate had told me a story of her own. Some guy had come into the party wearing a mask and had kissed her and then disappeared, leaving her with a mystery she was still trying to solve.
“I feel bad judging all the people in Superman movies. Like, you can’t tell who that is? My brain was whirling so much that I barely remember any of his features. Although, I didn’t mind his lips on mine.”
I shook my head, laughing. “Who’d have thought we’d both get our first kiss on the same night? I’m just glad mine didn’t happen at the party.”
“Parties aren’t so bad, Pen. It’s just what you make of it, I guess. Maybe someday I’ll know who my mystery kisser was.”
The bell rang, and I shuffled to my class, not ready for the usual early morning motivational pop quiz my professor tended to give.
“Hey,” I heard behind me but didn’t turn, thinking it was for someone else. The voice said it again, this time with a hand on my shoulder. I turned to see Jake giving me a small smile.
“Hey. How have things been?” I asked, debating between being late to class and having a normal face-to-face conversation with him.
He played with his hair a moment before looking back at me. “Good. It’s been good. I better not keep you from class. I know how you like being on time.”
My insides were warring about the need to be prompt and kicking myself for even worrying about stuff like that.
“Text me later. We’ll be on the bus around noon to head out to Westchester.” I bit my lip, surprised I’d been so forward. Despite our history, it still felt like we were beginning all over again, and I hoped I hadn’t gone too far.
Jake’s face brightened, and he nodded. “Will do. That will help me get through my last class of the day. Too bad we don’t have a game too.”
I took a few steps backward and gave him a little wave. Part of the way down the hall were stairs, and I had to turn so I didn’t stumble over them. I glanced back once more to see Jake in the same spot, looking as gorgeous as a Greek statue.
I was heading for real trouble when it came to him. I just hoped his change of heart lasted longer than a couple of weeks.
Chapter 21
Jake
“Are you guys dating or not? You’ve never had such a problem deciding before, Jake.” Dax opened a protein bar and sat down on the bench between the lockers in the guys’ locker room. He took a large bite, his lips smacking so loudly I had to turn away to keep from gagging.
“We haven’t talked about that. It was just one kiss, Dax. I don’t know if she wants to date me after all I’ve done to her.” I sat on the bench, untying the laces on my sneakers. It was nice that we were the only ones in the locker room. I’d have been mortified if any of the other guys at the school heard me trying to figure out where I stood with a girl.
Dax finally swallowed and said, “She kissed you back. I’d say there’s definitely potential there.”
For the hundredth time, I thought about the kiss I’d shared with Penny, and with the way my lips still tingled at the thought, I wondered if she felt the same. Seeing her in the hall that morning had been awkward at first, but when she’d said to text her, something like hope exploded within me.
“But the kiss came after me talking about my dad’s alcohol problem. You don’t think she just felt bad for me?” I’d finally confided in Dax about my home situation the
day before, knowing he wouldn’t say anything to the other guys. I didn’t need it going around school that things were complicated outside of baseball.
Dax stopped to think. “I’ve never seen you analyze a relationship as much as this one. That means you’ve got it bad for her, man.” He took another bite of his bar and chewed a couple of times before saying, “Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, you know.”
That didn’t reassure me at all. I opened the messaging app on my phone and scrolled through the short messages we’d sent each other over last period. The final one said her team made it to the school where the game was to be played, so I had to settle for radio silence for the next several hours. At least I had baseball practice to keep me occupied for some of it.
A bunch of other guys came in and started dressing. The sound of lockers squeaking open and jokes being passed back and forth broke the silence I’d had just moments before.
“Listen up,” came Coach Maddox’s voice from somewhere in the room. “We’re going to have some college coaches at our game tomorrow, so I suggest you all work out the kinks today. These are some big schools, and the opportunity to attend would be worth your effort.”
I had peeked around the lockers, and he glanced my way, nodding as if to single me out silently. Play baseball in college? I’d just now begun to like baseball again, as my father had eased up on it quite a bit, but would I still love it if I had to play and practice all the time at a more competitive level?
Maybe it was worth a shot, worth just doing the best I could tomorrow and seeing what happened from there. The least I could do was try, and if I decided I didn’t want to play baseball after high school, I’d just tell them no.
The Perfect Play: A Boy Next Door Young Adult Romance (Rosemont High Baseball Book 1) Page 9