I looked around the porch, picking up a few of the flameless candles and checking the bottoms for clues. As I neared the end of the porch, my eyes adjusted somewhat to the darkness, and I saw several yellow balls littered around the yard.
“I think I found something. Come help me, Derrick.”
Even though he sighed as if it was the last thing he wanted to do, he came out and gathered several balls, dropping them on the living room floor for me. I expected him to disappear back into his room like he’d done lately, but he seemed to hover, waiting for me to figure out my mystery date.
The back door opened, and I heard the familiar staccato of my father’s steps coming through the kitchen. “I’m home. How was your— what happened here?”
“Penny got asked to prom. Now she just has to unscramble these letters.”
“That’s a lot of letters. Does the kid have four or five names?” My dad scratched the top of his head and chuckled, something he did when he thought his jokes were actually funny.
I shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. But we’ll see, I guess.”
I pulled all the balls together so the letters were visible. With all of them there, I searched for a J or a W but was confused when I didn’t see one. I tried several combinations as I thought about boys from our school, but each one who was a potential decent date didn’t work out.
As the letters came together, my heart dropped a bit. Nate Everton. I barely knew the friend of Jake’s, only that he was a baseball player. Why would he ask me to the dance?
A mixture of sadness and confusion rushed through me.
“Who’s Nate Everton?” my dad asked, eating a chip right after. The crunch of it was loud as he kept his mouth open with each bite.
“Ew, Dad. Close your mouth, please.” I looked back at the letters. “A kid on the baseball team.”
I turned back to see an amused expression on my dad’s face. “So, what happened to Jake? Did he already ask you?”
“No,” I said, looking at the name spelled out before me. We hadn’t talked about going to the dance together, and we didn’t have many classes in the same area, so I didn’t see him often at school unless it was for baseball. Was he ashamed to go with me? As much as I tried not to, worries flashed before my eyes, and I focused on the last few times I’d been with Jake. Nothing had seemed off. Did I miss something?
“What are you going to do?” my dad asked, leaning against the doorframe.
Standing up, I walked over and stuck my foot into my slippers. “I’m going to go talk to Jake right now.”
Chapter 27
Jake
The guys had spent most of practice chatting about who they were going to ask to prom or how they were going to ask. At one point, I wanted to start chucking balls at them to get them to shut up.
Dances had never been my thing. I’d been asked several times to the girl’s-ask dances, and up until the accident, I’d gone. But things had changed when Troy died the night we were coming home from prom the year before.
Now anything that involved getting dressed up reminded me of that night, and I hadn’t been able to shake it. I avoided those nights as though I was quarantined in my room, because the rumors would start up again, and I didn’t need to relive them through other people’s words. I already did that enough when I tried to sleep.
I pulled out my math textbook, wishing I could somehow will the answers to appear on the page. It was the subject I was struggling with the most, but I needed to get it done. I was on a roll with all the changes I’d been making, and even my teachers had pointed it out. Maybe there was hope for me yet.
A knock came at my door, and I said, “Come in.” I’d been trying to remember the formula we’d talked about in class, but it still didn’t make sense after several minutes of reading through it.
“Penny’s downstairs. Do you want me to send her up?” my mom asked, barely opening the door.
“Yeah. She might be able to help me figure this out.”
A minute or two later, Penny walked in, her expression tight. Her lips were a thin line, and I could see the muscle along her jaw flexing.
“Hey, girl.” I stood and walked over, leaning down to kiss her. Her lips were firmer than normal, not forming to mine quite so easily. “I didn’t know you were coming over tonight. Don’t you have a big test to study for?”
She folded her arms against her chest, and I could tell from the ramrod-straight way she stood that something was up.
“I was studying for a test when Derrick came and told me someone had left something at my door.” Her eyebrows rose as if she were accusing me of telepathy.
“You got a package? What was in it?” I walked back to the chair at my desk, sitting in it sideways so I could face her.
She moved to sit on the edge of my bed, and I had to keep the grin off my face when I saw her giant puppy dog slippers.
“I got asked to prom, Jake. And it wasn’t by you.” Her voice warbled a bit at the end as if she was keeping everything together long enough to get the words out.
The air rushed out of my lungs, and from her body language and tone, I knew I was in trouble. If only I’d taken the time to talk to her about the whole thing, to explain that dances were PTSD-triggering situations for me. I searched her face, hoping to find the answer to what I needed to do to make things right.
When I saw her stony expression, I raised my hands. “Okay, who asked you?” I tried to think of any guys who’d been interested in Penny at school but kept coming up blank.
“Nate.”
“Nate Everton? No, he wouldn’t ask you out. He knows we’re together.” I ran a hand through my hair, feeling like I’d just jumped onto an emotional rollercoaster. I wasn’t as close to him as I was with Dax, but he wouldn’t go behind my back like that, would he? Thinking over the conversations at practice earlier, he’d been more quiet than normal. Was this his chance to get back at me for throwing him through the window? He had been ready to ask Penny out that day.
Penny threw her hands into the air and stood, pacing back and forth in the room. “The evidence is in my front room, Jake.”
Her tone caused my anger to surge. “What do you want me to do about it, Pen? I didn’t know he was going to ask you, so I’m in shock as much as you are.”
She stomped over to stand inches from my face, her bright green eyes boring into mine. “Well, what do you want me to do about it? I thought you’d ask me.”
“I don’t go to dances, Penny. I haven’t since the accident. And why do you care? You’ve never been one to go all out for that kind of stuff. I thought you’d be okay if we didn’t go.”
“Well, that’s where you’re wrong. I never had anyone I wanted to go with until now. You seriously don’t want to suck it up and go to a dance with me?” A red color had crept up her neck and into her face, causing her cheeks to nearly match her hair. Her gaze was so intense that I glanced away.
“I’ve got a lot going on right now. Can we talk about this tomorrow?” I kept my voice soft and even, hoping that would placate her just a bit.
With a shake of her head, she said, “So that’s a no from you?”
“We don’t need to go to the dance to still be a couple. It’s just a dumb high school ritual. I’d rather we just hang out that night.”
She nodded, looking like she’d just been slapped. “You’re embarrassed of me, aren’t you? The great Jake White can’t be seen with his so-called girlfriend in public. It’s like the only time you want to claim me as your girlfriend is when we’re here at home and when no one is watching at school.” She turned on her heel, heading for the door with long strides.
I caught her arm just as she opened the door wider than before. “Penny, are you really going to get mad over something ridiculous like this? Why are you so angry?”
When she turned, there were tears in her eyes. “Because I wanted to go with you, Jake. But if you don’t want to go, I’ll tell Nate yes. Then you and I can do something after.”
&
nbsp; “You’ll tell him yes? Why would you do that?” The stability I usually felt around her seemed to be shifting, and betrayal sliced through me.
“Because I made a promise that I would always give people a chance, even when they’ve let me down.” She glared at me for a few long seconds and said, “It’s just a dance, like you said. Let me know if you change your mind before tomorrow.”
She pulled her arm from my grasp and disappeared down the stairs. I heard her say something to my mother and then the door open and close, the force of it softer than I’d imagined.
I sat at my desk, unable to concentrate on the book in front of me. Why was she so adamant about going to a dumb dance? And was I being stubborn for not wanting to take her?
Closing my textbook, I changed into some gym shorts and a t-shirt. I fell onto my bed as I tried to work out what I needed to do. We’d agreed we were together. Didn’t that merit taking into account my feelings as well? I knew how much girls obsessed over going to formal dances, but I hadn’t pictured Penny as being just like them. Why couldn’t she understand where I was coming from?
After trudging down the stairs, I opened a cabinet and pulled out a large glass. My mom had bought some whole chocolate milk that day, and I was ready to drown my worries in its rich taste. Sitting at the table, I turned the glass around and around between sips, studying the simple decorations on the outside.
“Jake, are you all right?” my mother’s voice called from behind me.
I glanced back and then turned to my milk. “Nothing. Just taking a break from studying.”
I heard a few chopping sounds, and soon my mom took the seat next to me, placing a cut apple in front of me. She took a bite of the apple in front of her, and I tried to focus on what I was going to do about the Penny situation.
“You look like you’ve just had your heart broken, son. Is it Penny?”
Blowing out a breath, I couldn’t decide if I wanted to tell her everything. But at this point, talking it out to someone might be better than holding it all in.
“I didn’t ask her to prom, and one of my teammates did. She’s mad that I won’t take her.”
My dad’s voice from behind startled me. “Plenty of girls in the world, Jake. Believe me. Us Whites don’t need to settle down too soon. Don’t get serious. Just make this time about you.”
“Dave,” my mom said, a warning in her voice. It was the first time I’d even seen her look him in the face in months. “Penny is amazing, and look how far Jake has come this year since hanging out with her again. He doesn’t need to be as selfish as you.”
The fridge opened, and I heard the sound of a can being opened. I hoped it was the first beer of the night, or I’d have to prepare to be the punching bag once more. But with the conviction in my mother’s face, I would gladly protect her. I was usually bitter and angry about my dad’s vices, one of which was periodically stepping out on my mother, but his statement caught me off guard. They’d been high school sweethearts, and curiosity burned in me to know if that’s the reason he’d started all the troubles in the first place.
It took a few moments for him to answer, and when he looked at me, he said, “I know there are a lot of things I’ve done that haven’t been all that great. I haven’t always been the best role model, but I do think being young is a privilege. It’s a time when you can figure out who you are, as long as you don’t restrict yourself. You have your whole life to settle down and work on a marriage together. Why put yourself through that this early?”
“Penny has always been important to me, Dad. I’m just getting back into her good graces now, and I don’t want to screw it up.”
“If you don’t want to go to the dance, don’t go. It’s not the end of the world; trust me. Enjoy being a teenager before you have to grow up and be responsible.” With that, he walked out of the room and settled in his recliner in front of the TV.
My mother reached her hand over and placed it on top of mine, her words soft. “I think that’s something you need to figure out for yourself. And then talk to Penny. If there’s anything I’ve learned over nineteen years of marriage is that without communication, this is what a relationship becomes.” She pointed between herself and Dad before standing and rinsing the dishes in the sink.
I twisted my glass again and then picked it up to take a sip. My parents had been high school sweethearts and had married young, from what my grandparents had always said. My mother’s sad expression seemed burned into my mind, and I didn’t want to end up like my father in ten or twenty years, with an unhappy wife and kids who avoided his angry outbursts. But she’d said that communication would help. I just needed to find a way to work things out with Penny before I hurt her worse than the last time I’d left.
After returning to my room, it was all I could do to pull the covers over me before my eyes closed, bringing back the moments of the accident and the panic I felt every day.
Chapter 28
Penny
I could practically feel the heat coming from my ears, like those old cartoons where fire spews from the sides of their head. Why did Jake have to be so difficult? And why couldn’t I be attracted to and like someone with fewer issues? I’d seen him going to dances the year before, seen girls coming to pick him up while watching out my window.
Was it because I didn’t get all dolled up every time we went out?
I entered through the front door and I jumped a bit, not realizing I’d shut it so hard.
“What’s wrong with you?” Derrick asked, clicking through the channels on the TV.
“Nothing,” I said, stomping up the stairs. I didn’t feel like rehashing it all with my brother. He’d just tell me I was an idiot for even thinking about a relationship with Jake. He’d seen everything I went through when Mom left, and there had been a number of times when he’d told me to just stay away from Jake.
Maybe he was right.
I slept fitfully that night and then woke up for my morning routine before school.
As the next week passed, I looked back at the past few weeks we’d been “dating,” and I realized Jake and I hadn’t gone anywhere together. Aside from practices and a few random shifts at the diner, that was the most we were together in public, and he usually waited to kiss me when we were in the privacy of our homes.
It had taken some effort, but I’d successfully avoided Nate for the whole week. I wasn’t quite ready to commit to going to prom with him, as my heart was still waiting for Jake to change his mind. I hadn’t seen Jake either, though, and even our text messages were short and to the point.
When I finally saw Jake in the hall, my heart rate sped up. Should I pretend not to see him? I felt like I needed some time to formulate my feelings into actual words.
“Hey, Pen,” he said, stopping a foot away from me. He stuffed his hands into his pants pockets, his head bowed a bit so it looked like his eyes were hooded.
“Jake.”
“I’m sorry about when you came over. I hate this distance between us, but there’s just a lot about dances that I can’t do.” He glanced down at his shoe as he moved it back and forth over the carpet.
“I know. You said it was because of the accident.” I kept my tone neutral, hoping he’d be able to share more of the details. I couldn’t understand if he didn’t explain it.
“I want to take you, but I just…I just can’t right now.” He glanced up as a few other students walked by and twisted so he was facing the set of lockers against the wall.
As much as I wanted to believe his words, it was his actions that seemed more telling than anything.
The bell rang, causing me to jump and return to the present. If he was going to act like he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public, then we might as well figure this out right now rather than keep wasting time.
“Well, do you still want to date? Or would it be better if we were just friends?” The words felt like rocks coming out of my mouth. I didn’t want to just be friends when I knew how much I liked him.
He shrugged and moved the toe of his sneakers across the floor. “It’s up to you. If you think a dance is a ‘make it or break it’ type of thing, maybe friends is the better option.”
His whole appearance was more nonchalant than I wanted it to be. Why was he all of a sudden putting up a wall?
“I’ve got to go. Let me think about it.” What else could I say? I wanted to scream and shout for him to stop turning back into the Jake that had inhabited his body ever since we were younger, the one that had disappeared for the last couple of months. But I couldn’t do that in the halls, and class might be the better option for me at this point.
I saw him at practice later, more focused than I’d seen him in a long time. He didn’t even look up at me as I walked past on my way back to the locker room. My performance at my own practice had been distracted, and Coach Ambrose had noticed.
“What’s up, girl? You look like you’re going to collapse under the weight of your bat bag.” I looked up to see Serena grinning at me.
“What are you doing still at school?” It was the best way to avoid spilling every emotion I’d been feeling all day.
Serena shook her head. “I forgot one of the books I need for an essay due tomorrow. I figured I’d come and get it so I didn’t end up failing the class. I’d hate to have to sit out the beginning of volleyball next year because I didn’t turn it in.”
I chuckled. Serena and I were almost polar opposite when it came to school work, but we both had the same fierce competitive spirit about our sport. “At least you thought that far ahead, right?”
“There’s a party tonight near my house. Wanna come?” Serena stepped off the sidewalk, turning to face me.
“I don’t know, Serena. I probably shouldn’t because of all the AP tests coming up.” Oddly, the tone of my voice didn’t sound entirely convinced, and my friend picked up on that.
The Perfect Play: A Boy Next Door Young Adult Romance (Rosemont High Baseball Book 1) Page 12