“Miss Kitty seems chastened by her sister’s adventure,” Georgiana offered softly.
“Perhaps some good will come from it then. In the meantime, Bingley and I are agreed that someone needs to take Miss Lydia in hand.” He grimaced. “But Miss Elizabeth was uncomfortable at the idea of money affecting our courtship and has requested I defer such a plan until we are married, if we wed.”
“That does not sound like the speech of a fortune hunter,” Georgiana said cautiously.
“I agree. In addition, future events have borne out that fortune counts little for Miss Elizabeth in deciding whom she will wed.”
“Oh?”
“I believe it will make more sense if I finish my story chronologically,” Darcy said. “When Fitzwilliam and I made our annual trip to Rosings at Easter, Miss Elizabeth was visiting her friend—” He stopped, realising he had entirely forgotten to include Mr. Collins in his narrative. “Our Aunt Catherine’s new rector, Mr. Collins, is cousin to the Bennets and also visited Hertfordshire. He married Miss Elizabeth’s closest friend, Miss Lucas, and Miss Elizabeth was visiting her.
“I was—overcome upon seeing her. I realised that I had been an idiot to think I could excise my feelings for her. I determined to woo her, despite what I saw as her deficiencies. Fool that I was,” he said ruefully, still not reconciled to his previous behaviour; yet, it was as though a different person had proposed to Elizabeth, a man with whom he now had little in common. “Oblivious to her dislike, I made myself a nuisance by accompanying her on her morning constitutional whenever our paths crossed. Finally, the day before we were scheduled to leave, I came to the point.” He shook his head at his own stupidity. “I had no expectation of being rejected. I thought Miss Elizabeth, like so many women of the ton, would seize the chance to better her status.
“I did not even consider that she might object to my person. Miss Elizabeth refused me politely until I pressed her on why she had rejected me. She was very blunt, citing my interference with Bingley and Miss Bennet, lies Wickham had told her, and, finally, my own pride and arrogance. She told me that I was the last man in the world she would ever marry.”
Georgiana gasped, one hand coming up to cover her mouth. “Oh, Brother! How awful!”
“Yes, it was.” Darcy stared down the path, trying to determine how best to explain the benefits to Georgiana. “And I was very angry and hurt. My pride was injured. I had never considered that all my pretensions were incapable of pleasing her. She saw through my status and wealth to the man underneath, and she did not find me worthy. It was a difficult time.” He sighed, recalling his rage and anguish and how he had fought against her characterisation until the truth won out. “But I am eternally grateful for her honesty.” He glanced down at Georgiana. “Once I was able to admit to the justice of her reproof, I began changing, trying to care for others and to see beyond my family pride. I learned that the world is a far larger and far more interesting place than I had found before.”
“But how could she be so harsh?” Georgiana asked tremulously. “Miss Elizabeth does not seem so . . . .”
“Impolite?” Darcy suggested, his lips tugging upward. “She does have a temper. But it was what I needed, Georgie. I had insulated my heart so thoroughly after our parents’ deaths that I was only living half a life. Yes, my pride was a useful crutch at the time, a way to hide my fear and discomfort, but I let it take over. I became the mask. You have ever been one of the only people who can reach my heart.
“The harshness of Miss Elizabeth’s rebuke was like an arrow piercing my armour and reaching into the deepest parts of my soul. Without such measures, I believe I would have continued on as the man I once was, flicking off whatever kind rebuke Miss Elizabeth may have offered like Apollo dislodging flies. She would not have made such an impression on me, and I am forever grateful that she was brave enough to show me who I had become.”
Georgiana shook her head as though denying his words. “You are too harsh on yourself. You are one of the best landlords and masters, and the best of brothers. You have been a good friend to Mr. Bingley. Aunt says that befriending someone so below us in station shows your charitable spirit.”
Darcy’s breath chuffed out, both in disagreement and disbelief over his aunt’s view of charity. “I did not like myself once I saw that man, Georgie—that is not harshness, but merely reality. Yes, I strove to be a good landlord and a good master, but only because that is what Darcys do. My family pride had tainted and twisted every good thing I did. I lacked in essentials.”
Georgiana studied him for some moments and then focused on the path ahead.
Darcy allowed the silence to sit between them, trying to gift her with the space to consider all he had shared.
“Perhaps that is why Mr. Wickham was able to deceive me,” she finally murmured.
“Oh?” Darcy asked, his brow furrowed. He would have thought Georgiana would have had more questions regarding his future vision.
“I knew what was right, but Mr. Wickham played to my sympathy and my romantic dreams. Some of what he said though . . . every phrase seemed to be an insinuation regarding why I should be discontent with my life or how I was so wise, despite my youth. Somehow, by the time he proposed eloping to Gretna Green, I was ready to flee the shackles of my station and believed that I knew well enough to make that decision for myself.
“Of course, I was very glad that you arrived when you did—I believed it offered me a chance to bring about a reconciliation between you and Mr. Wickham. I did not truly wish to leave you forever.”
“Did you believe that I would cast you out?” Darcy asked curiously. He hoped Georgiana knew better, but Wickham’s poisonous words may have convinced her otherwise.
“I—I hoped that you would not. Mr. Wickham said that you were likely to stop speaking to me until you came around, even though you would not dare withhold my dowry.”
Darcy gently pulled her to a halt. “Georgie, I would never cut you out of my life. Even if,” he took a deep breath, “even if you had married Wickham, I would have done my utmost to support and protect you.” He drew her close. “I am so very grateful that you do not have to walk that path, however. It would have been very difficult.”
Georgiana nodded into his chest. “As am I. When I think that—” Her voice broke. “I cannot believe I was taken in by someone evil enough to kidnap Miss Lydia.”
Darcy rubbed her back. “You are safe now. He did not succeed.”
“But, Brother!” she sobbed. “It is only by the merest circumstance that I avoided becoming his wife. How could I have loved someone like him?”
“You did not know what he was.”
“I should have though,” Georgiana wailed. “I was blinded by my own foolishness and pride, and I do not know how I can ever be trusted to go out into society.”
As she sobbed into his chest, Darcy tightened his hold on her, wishing there was something he could say to make everything better. If only this were as easily mended as the skinned knees he had treated with a bandage and a kiss when she was a child. Eventually, her sobs quieted, and Darcy handed her his handkerchief.
“Sweetling, you will be much better prepared to face society because of this incident. I trust you more now than I did before. You know how to recognize another Wickham.”
“But what if I fail?” she asked tearfully.
“Before he died, Father changed the terms of your dowry, did you know that?”
Georgiana shook her head.
“I should have spoken to you long ago, and I apologise for not having done so—I doubt Wickham would have singled you out had he known. You will not receive your dowry unless Fitzwilliam and I approve of your marriage ahead of time and are present at the wedding.” His mouth turned up at the corners. “Of course, if Fitzwilliam is abroad, you may have to delay your wedding until he can return.”
Georgiana gave a choked chuckle.
“Few fortune hunters will accept those terms, Georgie. Only a man who cares genuine
ly for you will be willing to work for your family’s approval.”
“But what if I never marry?”
Darcy’s brow furrowed. Was she concerned that no one would be willing to adhere to those terms? “Georgiana, you are a lovely young woman. Any man would be blessed to win your heart and hand.”
“But what if I am taken in again?” she asked his neckcloth.
“How was Wickham able to deceive you?” Darcy asked gently.
“Because I believed that I knew better than you, that if you just understood Mr. Wickham’s side, you would approve,” Georgiana said slowly. “Because I did not follow the rules my governess and Aunt have given me. Because I am just as bad as Miss Lydia—wanting the thrill of love and adventure without the consequences.”
“And do you still hold to those beliefs or has your perspective changed?”
Georgiana stilled. “I—I—my perspective has changed,” she said with relief. “Watching Miss Lydia, I do not want to be blind to the consequences of my actions. Love and adventure sound romantic, but perhaps there is more to it. I—” She looked shyly up at him. “I would wish for a husband who makes me as happy as Miss Elizabeth makes you.”
Darcy smiled. “I would wish that for you as well.”
“And who sees my flaws and does not ignore them,” she said with determination.
“I think it a great blessing to have people in our lives who will hold us accountable for our mistakes.”
“Is that why you have stopped telling me that I hold no responsibility for what Mr. Wickham did?”
“You do not hold any responsibility for Wickham’s actions,” Darcy said firmly. “You can only take responsibility for your actions, and yes, I believe it will assist your growth if you are held accountable for your mistakes.”
“Did it?”
“Did what?”
“Did it assist my growth in the future?”
“In my vision?”
Georgiana nodded.
“It did. Honestly, Georgie, I am only repeating the conclusions which you yourself came to and shared with me in my vision.”
“I came to?” she asked in disbelief.
“Yes. After I accepted the truth of Miss Elizabeth’s rebuke and began to change my relationships with those around me, including you, we spoke of our failed forays into romance.”
Georgiana blushed but quickly recovered. “Why did you not return to Miss Elizabeth then?”
Darcy sighed. “At first, I did not wish to intrude upon her. She had been so adamant that she wanted nothing to do with me. Later, I intended to test the water when Bingley visited Netherfield again, but I was too late.”
“What happened?”
Darcy’s throat closed. Why hadn’t he rushed to Elizabeth’s side the moment he had realised he would never find another like her? He had allowed one excuse after another to separate them.
But that was not the end, he reminded himself. He had not stayed that man. Providence had provided him with another opportunity, and he had learned to pursue her even when it was uncomfortable. He took a deep breath.
“Miss Lydia eloped with Wickham sometime after Easter of 1812.”
“With Mr. Wickham?”
Darcy took her hand. “Yes. I do not know the details—”
Georgiana shook her head. “You do not need to be concerned, Brother. I am not distraught that Mr. Wickham eloped with another; I am merely surprised that your vision was so similar to recent events and yet so different.”
“I believe that my actions have forced events to change.”
Georgiana’s eyes widened.
“I believe that Providence gave me this vision of the future to ensure that it did not come to pass; in fact, Miss Bingley overheard my concerns regarding the man when I was detailing my vision to Bingley.” He shook his head, frustrated with the woman’s behaviour once more. With a deep breath, he returned to his narrative. “I immediately warned the Bennets regarding Wickham’s dangerous tendencies and attempted to protect the community from him;.”
“But—then how did Miss Lydia . . . ?”
“You know how charming Wickham can be. He convinced the militia and several others that I was merely rumormongering for the purpose of revenge.”
“Revenge?” Georgiana asked faintly.
“Oh, no, Georgie, they did not know of the events of last summer; Wickham would not dare to spread tales of his interactions with you—not unless it was a last resort. Such information is more useful to him in his dealings with me. He would not waste it on changing the minds of a few people in a small town.
“Wickham told anyone who would listen that he was Father’s favourite and that I was always jealous and had a habit of blighting his life as revenge.”
“Oh.”
“Indeed. Though Miss Lydia still attempted to elope with him, unlike in my vision, we were able to rescue her, and thus I expect events to play out very differently.”
“They were not found in your vision?”
Darcy shook his head sorrowfully. “When Bingley returned to Netherfield in September 1812, he found a very different situation for the Bennets: Miss Lydia was never found, and the whole family suffered disgrace of the acutest kind. Mr. Bennet had died of an apoplexy, and, as Longbourn is entailed on Mr. Collins, Mr. Collins had cast the family from their home. Miss Kitty and Mrs. Bennet were living in Meryton with Mrs. Bennet’s sister. Miss Bennet had married far beneath her station. Miss Mary went to live with relatives in London.”
“And Miss Elizabeth?” Georgiana pressed.
“She was killed in a carriage accident.”
Georgiana gasped.
“I am grateful beyond measure that Miss Lydia’s return has prevented such an event. I did not know how to move forward without Miss Elizabeth in the world. Looking back, I believe I would eventually have come to terms with her loss—in large part due to the character reforms she herself prompted—but I am glad that I did not have to. Bingley immediately returned to London and informed me of these changes. I confessed my interference with Miss Bennet and apologised; I also told him of my love for Miss Elizabeth, and we grieved together that night. It was very late when I went to sleep in my own bed at Darcy House. When I awoke, I was back at Netherfield in November 1811.
“I still do not know how to explain it. My vision was detailed in the extreme, as though I had lived those months through, and even as I began living forward from this earlier point, everything remained the same as it had been in my vision.”
“What do you mean that everything remained the same? I thought Miss Lydia . . . .”
“I found that conversations and events occurred exactly as they had the first time unless I responded differently. After my experience with my own character changes, I have concluded that the events occurred so similarly because everyone around me had remained the same. As I began to change how I treated others, it has affected events and people, resulting in an entirely new set of circumstances.”
“I see.”
“Miss Bingley overheard a bit of the conversation I had with Bingley when I told him about my future vision and the danger Mr. Wickham posed as his actions had ruined the Bennets. Miss Bingley apparently decided that she could not sit by and watch Bingley and I marry into such a family and so, she took steps.”
Georgiana shivered. “How could she?”
“I believe that Miss Bingley was desperate, and as we have experienced, desperate people are rarely wise.” Darcy glanced up at the sky. The sun had gone behind a cloud, and the wind was picking up. He could not tell if Georgiana’s shiver was a result of the changing temperature or of the subject matter, but he did not wish for her to become ill from the cold. “Perhaps we ought to return before you catch a chill.”
“Yes,” Georgiana said, determination crossing her face. “I believe Aunt Matlock desires to speak with you this morning. Do you intend to tell her of your vision?”
Darcy shook his head. Though he had considered the matter, he did not believe it
would help his situation in the least.
“Then I will support you,” she said stoutly. “I know that my opinion will count for little, but perhaps there will be something I can do to help you as you have helped me.”
Darcy squeezed her hand. “I would welcome your assistance.”
As they returned to Netherfield, despite the darkening gloom, Darcy’s spirits lifted. The conversation with his sister gave him hope that she would accept his experience with the future and that she would heal from her wounds and become stronger even than the woman he had come to know Before.
Chapter 50
When Darcy returned to Netherfield, Penn had an urgent message from Bingley that he was waiting in the study for him. Darcy quickly washed and changed, then strode towards the study. Georgiana had said that Miss Bingley had joined the ladies the night before. Hopefully, his aunt had curtailed her before the woman spewed much of her poison—unless, of course, Lady Matlock desired to hear precisely what Miss Bingley thought of Elizabeth. Miss Bingley had convinced Georgiana that Elizabeth was a potential danger; what if she had succeeded equally well with his aunt?
Darcy’s heart sank. He had been so focused on Georgiana’s well-being this morning that he had not thought to ask about the specifics of Miss Bingley’s scheming. Nor had he considered what this might do to his aunt’s decision. Would she be inclined to agree with Miss Bingley, or would she disagree on the grounds that a tradesman’s daughter lacked the right to censure a Fitzwilliam? Perhaps, in this case, her snobbery would be to his benefit.
Bingley pounced on Darcy the moment the study door was closed. “Thank Heaven! I thought you would never return.”
“Never is a very long time,” Darcy said dryly. “Your message said you wished to speak to me after breakfast.”
“Yes, but I assumed that you would eat breakfast at some ungodly hour and then we could speak soon afterwards.”
A Vision of the Path Before Him Page 54