“No, it’s fine. I’m good not knowing the future,” she said, refusing to meet my eyes.
“Are you sure? I can do it now. It’s not a problem.” I wasn’t sure why I pressed, but the way she wouldn’t look at me kept me digging.
“She said no,” Hannah said, sliding to sit on the edge of the couch and place herself between me and Azure.
I took an involuntary step back, startled at the animosity. “Okay, that’s fine. I won’t force you.” I hesitated before adding, “Can I ask why you’re not interested?”
“Who says I need a reason?” Azure’s tone was flippant. “Maybe I don’t think you’re any good with the cards.”
What? Everyone knew I was the best! “That’s a little harsh, but you’re entitled to your opinion. If you change your mind, you can always shim me.”
“Mac says you’re a One Gov lackey here to spy on us,” Azure blurted out, lifting her head to stare defiantly at me.
It was as if she’d slapped me. The vehemence behind the words had me recoiling. Mac was the father of Azure’s baby and claimed there were government plots and conspiracies everywhere. I’d always thought he was amusing, until now. “Why would you even think that? I would never…I am the last person in the world who would spy for One Gov.”
“No? You’re pretty cozy with them now, aren’t you?” Ione added, taking off the gloves now that the attack had begun. “I heard you go to that fancy headquarters building every sol. Far as I can tell, that’s spy central.”
I tried for calm. This was family, not the Adjunct of Venus calling my judgment into question. “Just because I work for One Gov doesn’t make me a spy. I’m working on a project for Venus and it has nothing to do with—”
“Mac says they’ve brainwashed you,” Azure interrupted. “You report back to them and tell them everything we do. We’re not chipped, so they can’t snoop on us.”
“Why would One Gov spy on you?” I asked, stumped. Sure, my family ran a few petty cons on the side, but there wasn’t anything significant to investigate—all this according to Felipe.
“That’s how One Gov controls us. Since we don’t have t-mods, they can’t nose around or read our thoughts. Plus, they hate that we’re pure. We’re the real humans, not them. And not vat-grown things like them!” There Ione jabbed a finger at the silent, looming chain-breaker in the room. “And not like…Not like…him.”
I had a suspicion I knew exactly who him was. “You mean Alexei?”
“Don’t say it,” Hannah warned Ione. “He might hear you and kill you just like that.” She snapped her fingers the same way Celeste had earlier. “That’s what they say happens. People who cross him disappear and are never heard from again. They say he might look human, but inside, he’s a monster. Anyone with MH Factor is a monster.”
Azure shook her head, seemed to recover herself. “You married a freak. I don’t want you touching my baby. I don’t want you infecting it.”
Infecting it? I knew there was a level of distrust and animosity from some in the family toward Alexei and me, but I’d never faced it head-on or seen it in action before. I took a deep breath and got a lung-full of sweet smoke. Even with the smoke’s calming properties, it was a fight for me to stay chill.
“If you don’t want me to read your baby’s cards, fine. If I’d known how closed-minded and stupidly prejudiced you were, I wouldn’t have wasted my time. Gods, do you have any idea how the tri-system works or what things are like outside your little bubble of babies and mobile homes? If you think this is all there is to life, you need to take another look at the world.” I closed my mouth, afraid to say more. Anything else I said would devolve into cruelty and pettiness and I’d be dragged into a fight I could never win.
“That’s what a One Gov lackey would say,” Ione taunted.
“Or someone who’s jealous she doesn’t have a baby of her own,” Hannah added, getting in a final dig.
An awkward, loaded silence fell. Finally, I said, “Azure, congratulations again on your baby. Hopefully he has a wonderful life ahead of him.”
“Are you threatening my baby?” Azure shrieked at me.
“If I threaten you, you’ll know it.” My voice was cold and flat as I fought to rein in my temper. “Excuse me, but I have to go.”
Then I turned on my heel, poise and dignity shredded as I made my way outside. Taking a deep, smoke-free breath and straightening my shoulders to show them none of their hits had landed, I made my way to the waiting flight-limo. A chain-breaker escort fell into step around me.
Inside the safety of the flight-limo with its tinted windows, I slumped in my seat. I couldn’t decide whether to be mad and humiliated or start crying. All options seemed equally viable as I sat clutching my travel case in my lap.
Barely a handful of minutes passed before the flight-limo door slid open and Alexei was beside me. Then I felt the tug in my stomach as we took off.
“Did you win the card game?” I asked, looking down at my hands still clutching my travel case in a death grip. My knuckles were white and my engagement ring stood out like a small twinkling sun held captive on my hand. I stared at it, watching how the diamond the size of a robin’s egg splintered and reflected the light. It was a wonder my cousins hadn’t made some comment on that too—fancy ring, fancy clothes, fancy house, and so on.
“I folded as soon as you left.”
“Did you take them for all the gold notes you could get?” I said to my hands.
“Barely pocket change. I left it.” A beat of silence, then, “Are you all right?”
“Why would you even ask that?”
“I have excellent hearing.”
Ah. Well, that was answer enough. “I have more assholes in my family than I thought.”
One of his hands rested over both of mine. I stared at it; the knuckles were swollen and slightly bruised. He really had been fighting. Stunned, I didn’t resist when he brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. When I looked up, I gasped to see the black eye and a cut running along his left cheek.
All my issues were forgotten. “Holy shit, Alexei! What happened? Does it hurt?”
“It stings a little. Nothing more.”
I shifted onto my knees so I could peer more closely. The cut on his cheek was almost healed and the black eye wasn’t as severe as I’d thought. It had turned the yellowish-green of a weeks-old bruise. Then again, Alexei healed impossibly fast, without the need for skin renewal patches. Almost machinelike in its absolute perfection, his body could mend itself in a few hours when it might take a normal person sols or weeks. There was more than simple biology going on under that skin. Maybe my cousins were right and I should be terrified of him.
I ran my fingers over the bruise. “Do you need to ice it?”
“It will be gone long before Witching Time,” he assured me.
“Why were you fighting with Stanis?”
He sighed. “Because I’m a fool and Stanis made himself an easy target. He’s known me a long time and knew what I needed.”
I slumped back in my seat. I felt sick inside as realization hit. “You were frustrated with me, because of yesterday.”
“There are better alternatives to deal with frustration, but as I said, sometimes I can be a fool. The old patterns still exist within the Tsarist Consortium even if Konstantin is gone. It doesn’t mean they’re right.”
“And it involved beating up your friend. You needed to vent, so you took it out on him. I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have even been in that position. Gods, this is so messed up—”
“Stop,” he murmured, the hand caressing my neck. “I’m not frustrated with you. You haven’t done anything wrong. You’re perfect. Don’t feel like you need to be anything other than who you are.”
I fought hard to blink back tears. “I…Okay.”
“And I want to say thank you for what you said to your cousins. I know how important your family’s approval is to you. That you spoke out against them on my behalf means a great deal.”
“It was easy since they’re wrong about you. I know you make hard decisions to keep us safe. But you’re changing too. Even Celeste sees it. You’re not the same man you were when we first met.”
“He isn’t gone either. I realize now I could have done things differently. I don’t want to be the Consortium’s Dark Prometheus. I want to be someone else. Someone better.”
“You are better,” I whispered.
“But I’m not who I want to be. Not yet. At the christening today I decided that if we were to have a baby together, I’d want to be someone our child could respect. A baby would provide an opportunity to start fresh. It would mean I’d finally created something not tainted by the Consortium’s sordid past. And knowing I’d have all this with you and that between us, we could make something so good…I want to be worthy of such a gift. I want to leave behind a legacy of us—one that shows new beginnings and redemption are possible. I think…I think I may want this more than I’ve wanted anything.”
He offered a hesitant smile that just about broke me. It was one I saw on only the rarest occasions—when he wasn’t certain about his feelings or felt vulnerable. Or in this case, had entrusted me with a secret so personal and fragile, I was afraid to say anything for fear I might shatter it. Instead I nodded and gave up holding back my tears. His hands were on my face then, brushing my wet cheeks with his thumbs.
“Don’t,” he whispered. “You know it destroys me when you cry.”
I sniffed and gulped back what threatened to become a waterfall, racking my brain for something to say. “Sorry. I know I’m an ugly crier.”
He smiled and kissed my forehead. “No, you aren’t. You’re always beautiful, even when your nose is running.”
That changed the mood, filling me with indignation and making him laugh even as I settled in against him. The rest of the ride was quiet, contemplative, each of us thinking our own thoughts.
Redemption. Alexei believed our baby would be the key to unlocking a new start. He had so much hope for us. Gods, he had hope enough for the whole tri-system. I’d never heard him talk like this before and it staggered me. If he saw a chance at redemption, how could I argue with that? How could I doubt when he was so willing to change for me? He tried so hard to be what I needed and build a future for us. I had to believe in it too, didn’t I? I had to give him that hope and have faith it would work out. If I didn’t…No, I couldn’t think that. The alternative terrified me. This would work out. It had to. There was no other choice.
* * *
At home, first priority was letting Feodor out of his crate. He was overjoyed at this and it took a while to calm him enough that he’d eat and drink some water. Then Alexei had some interesting smells that needed thorough investigation. Walkies and playtime followed, mixed with reinforcing what we’d learned in puppy class. I ran through the commands Feodor had mastered so far like “sit,” “stay,” and “come”—in Russian, of course, because gods knew it was important to have a bilingual dog. After another half hour of playtime, he flopped down in his kitchen doggy bed, exhausted.
At loose ends, I headed upstairs to track down Alexei. He’d disappeared after Feodor’s walk, and I found him more or less where I expected him to be—in the shower sauna with the steam on full blast. I could just make him out through the waterfall-patterned glass and heavy layer of steam. He appeared to be sprawled in one of the seats, his arms resting along its top. I knew he’d be gorgeously naked, so I spent a pleasant few minutes thinking about that.
Sometimes, I wished I could share this giddy feeling and spectacular view with someone just so they would agree that yes, I had landed quite the catch—though I supposed it was weird to think about my own husband that way. But more than that, I’d landed the leader of the Tsarist Consortium, a man more gangster than politician. The blue-black tattoos that covered his skin declared him vor v zakone—thief in law. I’d traced them so often with my fingers, I could draw them in my sleep. In the Old World back on Earth, the vory v zakone had been a law unto themselves. Now they’d evolved into something more. Still, the tattoos were a reminder of the Consortium’s secretive, shady history.
I thought Alexei might be dozing and almost turned away when he said, “Are you coming in?”
“You seem like you might be tired. I’ll just admire the view and be on my way.”
“And you can do that from all the way over there?”
“I’ll have you know my eyesight is excellent,” I said.
“Don’t make me come out there and get you. Come here.”
I smirked at him. “What if I don’t? Are you going to spank me?”
“If I have to leave this spot, I will do much more than spank you.”
The words were a dark promise that left me shivering. I couldn’t decide whether to defy him just to see what he would do. Spanked? Not spanked? Or something even more decadent? In the end, nervous anticipation won and I went as ordered.
When I unfastened the tie of my wrap-dress and let it fall to the floor, I had his full attention. He sat up, the better to watch me undress. I primly folded my clothes and placed them on the counter.
“Leave your hair down,” he said when I started to pin it up.
So I left it down even though it would frizz, get wet, and I’d have a good hour of hair straightening ahead of me. Something in his tone told me he wasn’t in the mood to wait. He wanted me in front of him. Now.
By the time I opened the sauna door and the first licks of steam crept up my calves, he was semi-erect—an impressive sight all on its own. And once I stood in the shower less than a foot away, he was fully aroused and unable to keep his hands to himself.
“Straddle me,” he ordered without preamble, his voice husky and the Russian accent more pronounced. His hands were already on my hips, lifting me off my feet and pulling me to him. “I need to feel you on me.”
Since I was completely on board with this plan, I braced my hands on his strong shoulders, covering the eight-pointed stars tattooed there, and rested my knees on either side of his muscular thighs. This close, I noted the bruising around his eye was nearly gone. I brushed the skin with my fingers and pressed a kiss to it.
“Does it hurt?” I asked.
“Nyet. Not anymore.”
“It makes you look dangerous and very sexy,” I confessed before placing a second kiss to the corner of his mouth.
“If I’d known this would be the end result, I would have allowed Stanis to land a punch sooner,” he answered in between the kisses I trailed over his lips.
His hands slid up along my waist while he watched me with a look both heavy-lidded and languid. The lazy smile he offered made the air feel hazy and hot. A light sheen of perspiration misted my skin. That dampness let his hands dance over me in a slick caress.
“I love the look you get when you know you’re mine and there’s nowhere else you want to be than with me,” he murmured.
“What look?” I asked as I resettled on his thighs. I rested my hands behind me on his knees, taking the moment to stretch and arch my back. He swore softly in Russian and made that low growl of arousal I loved. “I didn’t know I had a look.”
“Oh, you have one,” he said, pulling me to him. His mouth went to my breasts, unable to resist what I’d offered. I trembled despite the sauna’s heat. “You definitely have one, and it’s only for me.”
My back bowed and I gasped as his mouth captured one breast and his hand the other. His hand was large enough that he could palm my entire breast, kneading and plumping as he pinched the nipple. Under his confident handling, my nipples pebbled and both breasts turned heavy and aching. Desire and need burst through me in quick, hot flares. I clung to him, sure I would come just from his hands and mouth on me. He knew my body so well, with its quirks and turn-ons, what it liked and what it could handle—I had no doubt he could do it. As I hovered over him, I knew my thigh muscles would give out long before Alexei finished wringing every spasm of pleasure from me and drinking down ever
y last drop of desire.
When I arched again, his hands went to the backs of my thighs, holding me up so I could rock against him the way I liked. My hands ran from his shoulders to the swell of pectoral muscle, over the elaborate tattoos, and down to the sculpted abdominals. Gods, everything about him was so hard, so unyielding. I wanted to trace every ridge of muscle, digging my fingers into him so I could feel the brutal, crushing strength in my hands, knowing he could break me but wouldn’t. That he would be gentle just for me, unless I wanted more. And I always wanted more.
“I love touching you like this,” I murmured, bringing my hands back up to trace the crucifix tattooed over his chest. “Sometimes I can’t get enough of touching you. It makes me crazy—I want this so much.”
I gripped along his sides, finding the leverage I needed to grind into him. The feel of him surging against my core made me cry out shamelessly. It brought a gush of moisture from me that let me slide along the length of his erection with ease. I was so slick with it, we lost the sensual rocking rhythm in the rush of blinding sensation. With sure hands, Alexei centered me again, firmly holding me in place.
“I love how you feel against me,” he said into my throat. “I can’t even think. I want to be inside you. Let me in, Felicia.”
My lips managed to find his. Our tongues slid around each other, fighting, mating, and demanding more. I moaned into his mouth, dizzy with need. All I wanted was him. Couldn’t even think past a moment where I didn’t feel this desire for him, or would want anything beyond him claiming my body.
With more impulse than skill, I positioned myself over him, took his erection in hand, and lined us up again. Even after all the times I’d taken him like this, the size of him both intimidated and thrilled me. I let myself go, dropping down, feeling him rise up to meet me, both our breaths rushing out in a hiss.
“Alexei, please, I need…” Words failed me as my body throbbed over his.
His hands caught my hips, holding me steady. “I have you. You are so beautiful right now. You feel like heaven around me.”
Taking him at this angle was a trick I’d yet to master; still a pleasure-pain ride that couldn’t be hurried and only enjoyed. I cried out with the rush of it as my body stretched to take him, felt crammed full of him in the best way possible. He swore again, straining with patience, not rushing me until I was ready even as we both panted, nearly frenzied with the need to fit. Then he was in as far as he could go, our bodies sealed together. I savored the moment as I tensed over him, wild with anticipation for what would come next.
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