by Caroline Lee
Regina’s lips pulled up at the edges. It had been a few years ago, but she remembered when Mr. Gomez started talking about the mysterious gift. “You did it a few more times, didn’t you?”
“Yep. I had some money, and I knew where to get more.”
“Is it stolen?”
For the first time, his expression turned uncomfortable. “I, uh… I probably shouldn’t tell you, Regina. It ain’t just me who’d be in trouble.”
She nodded quickly. “You can keep some secrets, Hart. I’m just grateful you’re sharing so much of this with me.”
He shrugged yet again, but now appeared relieved. “One day I came into town and heard people talking about my gifts. They said since I was helping the town of Black Aces, I was their own personal Black Ace. One man swore he’d heard that one of the bags had a big black ace drawn on it. I thought it was ridiculous, but then I realized how everyone around him reacted.”
“Yes,” she breathed, nodding. “You gave them hope.”
“Right. So, I kept it up. I kept my ears and eyes opened, and I knew when people needed help. Sometimes I helped them directly, sometimes I got others to help them. I discovered they’re more likely to help when they think the Black Ace is asking.”
She stepped towards him, unable to look away from the way his shirt stretched across his shoulders. “For years, I’ve been so grateful to you, but now…”
He reached for her at the same moment she reached for him. “Now?” he murmured, pulling her against his chest.
Tears gathered in her eyes, but she didn’t know if they were tears of sorrow or joy or something else entirely. “Now that I know you, I’m not just grateful. I’m proud.” She tipped her chin back to look in his eyes. “I’m so proud of what you’ve accomplished, Hart,” she whispered. “You’ve done amazing things, and I’m so sorry it has to end.”
He swallowed. “Yeah, me too.”
Who knew what would happen, now that their Ace could no longer ride to their rescue? Who knew what would happen now that “the Black Ace” had shot a US Marshal? Would the town suffer for what had to be Mr. King’s actions?
Her stomach was a bundle of knots, but being so close to him brought peace, as well. It was almost as if…as if they were facing the hardships, the worries, together. Having Hart in her life had certainly brought her more fears and worries, but being able to share them with him also eased those fears.
Is this what loving someone was like? Could she possibly be falling in love with Hart?
When he forced a smile—and she knew it was forced, in exactly the same way she’d known he’d needed to chop wood to work off his frustration—she realized the truth.
She wasn’t falling in love. She was in love.
Oh dear.
She was in love with Hart and the Black Ace, but he couldn’t be the Black Ace anymore.
And when his lips closed on hers, she tasted his regret as well as her own.
Eight
Hart slowed his steps to match his grandfather’s as the two men walked from the barn towards the house. The old man leaned heavily on the cane Hart had carved for him last month, and each step was slow and deliberate, but he didn’t hiss in pain. His steps were strong and intentional, just like Pony himself.
The old man paused halfway between the corral and the front door, and tilted his head back to catch the sunlight. “It is a good day.”
“It is,” Hart agreed. He wondered if Pony had stopped because he was tired, or if it was really to just enjoy the unseasonably warm morning. “You can see clear to Helena.”
“Why would I want to see there?” Pony turned his head towards the mountains. “The view is better that way.”
Hart’s smile bloomed easily. “You’re right, old man.”
His grandfather nodded, solemn as always. “I usually am.”
They’d spent the morning in the barn, working with the youngest of their horses. Or rather, Hart had worked them, while Pony had called out advice from his spot on the hay bales. It hadn’t been annoying, however; Hart had long ago learned that he and his grandfather thought alike, and when Pony suggested something, it was usually what Hart had been thinking anyhow. They worked well together, and Hart couldn’t imagine life without the crotchety, capable man.
However, he did feel a little guilty about how often he’d left Pony over the last week. Since learning about the Marshal’s near-death, and unburdening himself to Regina, he’d been back into town four more times. He’d told Pony—who’d been equally alarmed by the news of the Black Ace being blamed—it was to keep his ear to the ground for more news, but he suspected the old man knew the truth.
“Will you be going to see your lady this afternoon?”
Hart liked the idea of her being his lady. As the two men began their slow walk once more, he shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. “Nah. I saw her yesterday, and that was good enough.”
Beside him, Pony snorted. “It was not. I remember what it is like to be young and in love, River. You wish to see her every moment of every day.”
“You’re not wrong.” Hart inhaled deeply of his ranch’s pine-scented air. “But I’ve got responsibilities here, and she knows it.”
“Will she be happy here?”
Hart’s head whipped around to stare at his grandfather, but Pony’s gaze was locked on the house as he took another deliberate step. Even so, he knew his grandson’s confusion.
“When you marry her, will she be happy here? Or will she expect you to abandon your father’s land, everything you have worked for, to live in town with her?”
Stunned, Hart took a few moments to work through the options. “I don’t… Marriage? We haven’t talked about anything like that.”
“Maybe you should.”
Maybe we should.
“Pony, I’m currently wanted for murder, robbery, and inciting mayhem, according to the poster on Sheriff McNelis’ wall. I don’t think I can consider marriage.”
“You are not. The Black Ace is.” Pony finally stopped and swung around to face Hart, one bony finger poking his grandson in the chest. “And you are done being the Black Ace, are you not?”
Was he?
He knew he should be, but doing the right thing, being the Black Ace had gotten under his skin. It was like a hard-to-break habit. That day he’d stopped McAuliffe from beating that poor kid, he’d known the truth; giving this up would be damn hard.
But, he reminded himself, he had given it up, at least a little, starting that day. The Black Ace should’ve gone to McAuliffe’s home, should’ve made the man, the bully, pay for what he’d done. But Hart hadn’t. He’d listened to Regina, he’d seen the wisdom in her words, and he’d stayed away.
No matter how much he’d wanted to make McAuliffe pay, it was smarter to leave the man alone. And now, with him being blamed for the near-death of a United States Marshal, it would be smart of him to leave the whole damn thing alone.
Regina was right, and he was glad he’d listened to her. For her sake, as well as his own and Pony’s, he needed to put the Black Ace aside.
Hart took a deep breath, then admitted the truth out loud. “I am done. I hate that I have to say that, but Regina and I— Well, I have something bigger to live for now. I can’t cross the United States Marshals and still expect to have a future with Regina.”
“Regina.” Pony snorted and began his slow steps once more. “What am I? What is this place? Buffalo dung?”
This time, Hart turned towards the mountains to hide his own smile.
Pony continued, “When you see her again—today, tomorrow—ask her to marry you.”
“Don’t you think that’s a little sudden?”
“No!” The old man finally reached the door and rested one hand on the jamb while he slammed his cane into the ground. “No. Life is short, boy. Opportunities are lost in heartbeats. Do not allow this one to pass you by. But…”
Hart couldn’t recall the last time he’d seen Pony this intense. “But what?�
�
One side of the old man’s lips curled up. “But make sure she will not ask you to give up your dreams for her either. Sacrifice is part of opportunity, which is what creates happiness.”
Hart’s brows shot up. Was he seriously standing here discussing a future with Regina…with his grandfather?
“You’re saying you’d be alright with her, what? Living here with us?”
Pony shrugged. “It is a large house, and I am old. But the decision is up to you. Both of you.”
Hart slowly nodded, thinking about his grandfather’s words. They made sense, in their way. But marriage? A future? He hadn’t even convinced Regina it was worth it yet. Did she still believe that loving someone only led to heartache? Or could he, maybe one day, make her see the joy love could bring?
Pony grunted and reached for the door latch. “You can ask her today.”
“Today?”
The old man jerked his chin in the direction of town. “She’s on her way.”
Hart’s attention swung around, and sure enough, there was a horse and cariole in the distance. The far distance. He narrowed his eyes. “How’d you know that?”
Pony grunted—as close to a laugh as he ever came—and thwacked his cane against Hart’s leg. “Because I listen, boy. I feel. I’m going inside to sit down. Bring her in for lunch, which you will prepare.”
As his grandfather stepped slowly inside, Hart couldn’t hide his grin at the command. “Yes, sir.”
Hart was waiting when she arrived and swung her down from the driver’s seat. He liked the way his hands fit perfectly around her waist, and couldn’t help bringing her closer for a kiss. And when she wrapped her arms around his neck, feet still dangling above the ground, he figured she didn’t mind it either.
Later—much later—he unhitched her mare and found a stall for her, with Regina trailing behind.
“Did you just miss me so much you couldn’t wait for me to go back into Black Aces?”
She blushed, and when she didn’t answer right away, he froze and stared at her. When she realized, she managed a weak smile.
“I needed to check on Pony.”
Oh. That was alright then. He blew out a breath. “He’s doing good. He helped me this morning, and expects us in for lunch soon.”
Her blue eyes cut towards the house and back. “Soon?”
Hart shrugged. “Not too soon. Wanna give him a chance to rest, after all. Would you like to go for a walk?”
“A walk?” She blinked.
“Sure.” Hart snagged her hand and pulled her into the sunshine. “It’s a beautiful day, and I’d like to spend at least part of it with the woman I—with you.”
She didn’t say anything, but her fingers curled through his, and he took that as agreement. He led her towards the nearest rise where small pines grew among the heavy boulders washed down from the mountains centuries ago.
“This is my favorite place.” He told her as he watched her inhale deeply.
“It is lovely, isn’t it? I can see why you like it so much.”
“Like it?” He shrugged. “It’s in my blood. I was born here, and one day, I hope to be buried here beside my parents.”
When she stiffened, he tightened his hold on her hand, knowing she was thinking about her old fear. “But it’s not gonna be for a long while, Regina. I’m strong and healthy and full of love to share. I was hoping…” He swallowed, then backed down and focused his attention on the top of the rise once more. “I was hoping I’d have a wife and a passel of kids out here with me one day too.”
“A wife?” she asked in a small voice.
He took a deep breath and met her eyes once more. “Yeah. I want a woman who will stand beside me. A smart one, who won’t hesitate to tell me when she thinks I’m being stupid, and who isn’t afraid to get involved when someone needs help. I want a woman who is modern and free-thinking, and who has a heart as big as my sky.”
He stared into those beautiful blue eyes, the color of that sky, and held his breath, willing her to understand. Pony said he should ask her to marry him that very day, but was it too soon?
The lines at the corners of her eyes told him she was worried. But all she said was, “It sounds like you already have a candidate in mind.”
He squeezed her hand. “Regina, I’ve had a candidate in mind since that summer I came back to church and saw the doctor’s daughter had blossomed into a woman.”
He could see her brain whirring as she worked through his meaning and what he was asking. But she didn’t reply to his unspoken question.
Instead, she took a deep breath. “I’ve never considered having children.”
His brows went up. “Do you not want them?”
“No.” She frowned outright, staring at his chin as if in thought. “I mean, yes. I don’t know. I never considered it. Children are fragile, even more so than adults. It’s so easy to lose them.”
“Do you remember what I told you, all those weeks ago? About losing people we love?” he said in a low voice.
She swallowed, then nodded and met his eyes once more. “You said you’re not so afraid of losing something, you’d give up the chance to have it. You were talking about…about people. Love. Weren’t you?”
He nodded somberly. “I was. I fell in love with you a long time ago, Regina.” Damn. He hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that, but now that he’d said it, he couldn’t go back. “I love all those things about you, and more. I’m not going to push you into having feelings for me. I just wanted you to know…” He took a deep breath, then let it out, all in one go. “Just wanted you to know how I felt.”
She cocked her head to one side. “You love me?”
“I do,” he answered promptly, sure. “And I ain’t asking you to love me in return, I’m just asking that maybe…maybe you could just kinda open yourself up to the idea. Like, maybe sometime down the road—”
“Are you asking me to marry you?”
This time his agreement was a little hesitant. “I’d like that. Maybe you could think about it? That and the kid thing, I mean. I know this is sudden—”
She let out a little bubble of laughter and pulled away from his hands, moving up the trail towards the ridge. He hurried after her, still talking and afraid he was digging himself into a very deep hole.
“But just think about it, alright? Regina, I want you to know I would never ask you to stop doing what you love. If you want to stay in town helping your pa, then that’s your right. I can’t leave my ranch either, but maybe we could come up with a solution which will work for both of us.”
She was moving faster now, her feet kicking at her skirt as she marched around the boulders. He took longer strides, his breaths coming faster.
“Maybe you could live out here, but drive into town every morning for your rounds. Or maybe we could build your pa a new office out here on my land, outside of King’s influence. Or, I dunno, maybe— Regina!”
When her only response to his words was to increase her pace, he finally reached out and grabbed her arm, forcing her around.
“Regina,” he repeated, softer. “Say something.”
Her expression was somewhere between torture and pleasure. There were tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips, but she seemed…defeated almost.
“Regina?” he whispered, aching for her, but not sure how to make it better.
“You love me.” She threw herself against his chest and exhaled on a shudder when he wrapped his arms around her. “You want to marry me?”
“I shouldn’t have said anything, Regina,” he whispered against her hair. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
The laugh which burst out of her wasn’t pleasant. She sounded…hopeless.
“Please talk to me,” he prompted.
“I came out here to tell you— But how can I now? Now, knowing you want a future with me? And I want a future with you, so I can’t— I don’t know!”
She wanted a future with him? Did that mean she’d consider his suit?
Hart’s heart leaped at the same moment he understood her fear.
“Regina?” He pushed her away just slightly, gripping her upper arms and forcing her to look at him. “What aren’t you telling me?”
There were tears on her cheeks, and her eyes darted back and forth between his, as if trying to decide what to say. Her breath burst out of her lips on a sob.
“Everything!”
* * *
The pressure built in her chest and in her head, until Regina thought she might burst. But unlike the last time, she knew this wasn’t the ‘flu; it was the confusion and pain and joy at his words.
He loved her! He loved her and wanted a future with her.
She’d come here today to tell him the latest rumor, because he deserved to know. But if he did know it, he’d want to act on it. And now that she knew these things, she couldn’t allow him to act on it.
He loved her, and she was in love with him, and she had to protect him. If he acted upon the rumor, there was a very real chance they’d never get to have that future, the future which she never thought she’d wanted, but standing here in his arms, realized she desperately craved.
No, she had to protect him, and that’s why her chest was squeezing so tight with fear and love and guilt, all at once.
But as his eyes bore into hers, she came to another realization; she couldn’t hide this from him. She’d come out here today because he deserved to know, and whatever nebulous plans they might have for their future didn’t negate that.
She wanted to protect him, but he had to know.
“Regina? What aren’t you telling me?”
Darn near bursting into sobs, she confessed, “Everything!”
She wasn’t telling him her feelings. She wasn’t telling him how nice a future with him sounded, even if they weren’t sure on the details. She wasn’t telling him about how, when he’d mentioned having kids, her mind had suddenly conjured up the image of a little black-haired boy with his daddy’s eyes, and how her heart had clenched with a fierce longing.
And she wasn’t telling him about the rumor she’d heard from Finnie that morning.
But she needed to tell him, didn’t she?