The Thing About Forever

by Michelle Engardt

  He swallowed his bite. "I should have known you wouldn't drop it."

  Ava shrugged lightheartedly and dug into her fried noodles. "Well, I know you by now, and that look on your face wasn't normal."

  Zyan stared intently at his food as if it held all the answers. "I just mistook somebody for someone else."

  "And who'd that be? Judging by the look on your face, it must've been someone important."

  Zyan shrugged. "Just an old friend."

  "Uh-huh. Sure. That's totally how I react when I see someone from high school."

  "Just drop it. I don't want to talk about this right now."

  Ava swallowed her bite. "You men really annoy me sometimes, you know that? Why can't you just admit you got feelings and communicate? Eating your emotions and bottling them up isn't healthy, and it doesn't do anyone any good."

  Zyan groaned in frustration. "Not everybody loves to overshare like you do, Ava. Someday, you'll have to accept that."

  Ava glared at him. "It'd do certain people a lotta good though."

  "I don't want to fight with you."

  "Then talk to me! Tell me what's so obviously bothering you and let me help you."

  Zyan continued to stab at his food for several seconds. "I thought I saw an old ex of mine, okay?"

  Ava frowned. "Which one?"

  "Carter," Zyan muttered, as if it were a secret. And in a way, it was. They'd had conversations about failed relationships before, but Zyan had always made sure to never bring up this one. There were too many memories with too many attached emotions, and if there was one thing Zyan hated, it was talking about his feelings—especially with Ava, who still believed in romance, and true love, and soulmates, despite everything she'd been through.

  Ava's frown deepened. "I don't remember you telling me about a Carter."

  "That's because I never told you about him."

  Ava's mouth dropped open as if she'd just been personally offended. "How dare you? I told you all about my exes—even the guy I caught with his own sister."

  Zyan felt his eye twitch at the memory. "I wish you'd kept that one to yourself."

  "But I didn't because we're friends, and friends share their painful and traumatic experiences with each other."

  "I doubt that's written law, but okay."

  Ava crossed her legs and got more comfortable. "Tell me about Carter! What's he like?"

  Zyan stared down at his fingers as he fiddled with his chopsticks. "He was—is—one of the most interesting people I've ever met. We have…quite a lot of history with each other." Understatement.

  Ava cocked her head, a motion that caused one of her long curls to fall into her food. She wrinkled her nose and quickly threw it over her shoulder before she rolled the hair tie from her wrist. As she pulled her hair back into a ponytail, she looked back at Zyan. "How long were you two together?"

  He averted her eyes, mouth closing and opening but emitting no sound. That was possibly the most loaded question anyone could ask him.

  Ava lifted an eyebrow and dropped her hands, hair now safely kept away from her food. "So?" she prodded. "It's not that difficult a question, sweetheart."

  Zyan shook his head to clear it. "It lasted…several years," he answered finally. Decades more like, but oh well.

  Ava could clearly tell there was a lot more to the story. "I don't appreciate being lied to. And that includes people withholding information from me."

  Zyan sighed as he tried to make up his mind. Should he tell her? Would he regret it if he did? "It's a really long story." He paused. "Really, really long."

  "You're twenty-three, Zyan," Ava replied. "How long can it possibly be?"

  Zyan looked uncomfortable and cleared his throat. "Yeah…about that."

  Ava drew her eyebrows together. "What? What's going on? What aren't you telling me?"

  "I'm not…I mean, technically I am, but…"

  "Zyan Zavala, stop fucking stalling or you can start doing your shopping by yourself, and I know how much you hate the drugstore!"

  Zyan groaned. "Fine! Okay!" He sighed again. "I, um, I'm not actually twenty-three."

  "How…how old are you?"

  "225," Zyan answered, his voice rushed and low.

  Apparently, Ava could still hear every single syllable. "Excuse me?"

  Zyan cleared his throat. "You see, there was this Diwata that Carter's mom befriended when she was a little girl—"

  "Hold up," Ava interrupted him. "A what? When? How? I don't…"

  Zyan ran a hand over his face. He was tired. Occasionally, it felt like his years were catching up to him. This was one of those instances. "I'm not used to telling this story on my own."

  Ava shot him a worried look. There was something in her eyes, in the way she was looking at him, that made him unsure. He couldn't read her as well as usual. This time, her expression didn't let on what was going on in that brain of hers. A bad time for her to suddenly develop a poker face. "All right. Okay." She paused as she studied him. "I just have one question."

  "Shoot."

  "What the fuck?"

  "Understandable reaction."

  "What're you—are you on drugs?"

  Zyan frowned. "You know my stance on drugs."

  "Then what the fuck?"

  "I tried to tell you!" Zyan replied calmly. "Carter's mom befriended this Diwata when she was a little girl and then—"

  Ava raised a hand to shut him up. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "All right. So you're what? Immortal?"

  Zyan waited for her to drop her hand before he answered. "Yeah."

  Ava's gaze burned into him. "Prove it."

  "How?"

  "Show me some old black-and-white photos, an old newspaper clipping with your face—anything."

  "This isn't a movie, Ava. I don't have some PowerPoint presentation ready to go."

  "You've gotta have something!"

  Zyan sighed. "Fine. Gimme a sec."

  He got up and disappeared into his bedroom. As he sat and pulled out the box filled to the brim with memories, he realized he'd just given Ava the opportunity to call the authorities. He could only hope Ava believed enough in his sanity to give him the chance to prove himself.

  Zyan put aside the items too personal to share and went for the few photographs he'd managed to preserve over the years. With how many times he'd had to move, it was difficult to hold on to things so fragile and easy to misplace.

  He returned to the living room and dropped the small stack on Ava's lap before he sat back down next to her. The slow shift in her features as she stared at each of the pictures and brought them closer and closer to her face as she flipped them over and read the back was still impossible for him to read.

  "That Carter," Ava said finally. "He still means a lot to you, doesn't he?"

  Zyan had begun to knead at his palm with the opposite thumb while he waited for her to speak. Now as he looked up, he barely managed to conceal his surprise. So she believed him? "What? No. What makes you say that?"

  Ava quirked an eyebrow. "You can be honest with me, you know?"

  "I am!"

  Ava shook her head. "You always do this."

  "Do what?"

  "You close yourself off and shut me out," Ava complained. "I thought it'd get better over time, but you still do it every time we talk about your personal life for a change. Well, I can see why, but that doesn't make it okay. You're not my therapist, you're my friend. This should be equally giving and receiving on both our parts."

  "Come on, I'm always open with you!" He glanced down at the photographs. "Aside from all that."

  Ava shot him a pointed look. "You've known pretty much everything about me from the get-go, while you were over here keeping centuries of history from me!"

  Zyan crossed his arms. He didn't have a response for that. Better to not say anything than to say the wrong thing.

  Ava sighed and dropped her face into her free hand. The other still cradled the photographs as she massaged the bridge of he
r nose. "So…why didn't you go up and talk to him earlier, on the street? Carter, I mean."

  Ah, fuck. "We…didn't exactly part on good terms."

  Ava looked up and frowned. "What happened?"

  "We got divorced."

  Ava's eyes widened. "You were married?"

  Zyan snorted. "That seems to surprise you more than the immortality thing."

  "Well, you don't exactly seem like the type for eternal commitment."

  Zyan cocked an eyebrow. You have no idea.

  Ava seemed suspicious as she narrowed her eyes. "How long were you married for, exactly?"

  "Depends on which time you're talking about."

  Ava's mouth dropped open cartoonishly. "W-what?"

  "We were married…several…times," Zyan responded, unsure how to properly phrase his answer. A few of the marriages hadn't exactly been government-registered, them being two men and all. Then there was also the matter of how much he wanted to reveal about their relationship at this point. He didn't want this to be the thing that tipped Ava over the edge and make her realize how…unusual this entire conversation truly was. Now that the cat was out of the bag, he needed her to believe him and keep his secret safe.

  "How many is 'several?'" Ava asked carefully.

  "About…a dozen times."

  Ava openly stared at him in disbelief, and Zyan could practically read her thoughts on her face: This stoic-looking guy with layers and walls surrounding him…this man who openly despised most of the human population had been married five times and to the same guy?

  Zyan couldn't hold back a chuckle. "It sounds a lot, but considering that we've known each other for over two centuries, it's not that much."

  Ava shoved a bunch of food into her mouth, probably to give herself some time to think. She took her time chewing as she stared down at her bare feet—the contrast between her light blue sweatpants, dark brown skin, and bright green toenails was, after all, quite fascinating. "I feel like I wanna know the whole story, but I'm also not sure I'm capable of comprehending it right now."

  "That's okay," Zyan said. "I don't want to talk about it, anyway."

  "That's…not the least bit surprising." She paused again. "And you're sure you're not just insane, right?"

  Zyan let out a breathy laugh. "Yeah, I am."

  Ava nodded slowly. "That's good."

  CHAPTER THREE

  Jessica

  "Zyan Zavala," Jessica mumbled as she stared at the Facebook profile.

  It'd taken a lot to get Carter to give her the full name of his ex-husband/current crush/soulmate/whatever. But once she had, she'd immediately sat down to see if she could dig up dirt on him—or at least find out a bit more about who he even was.

  She was currently scrolling through the bits and pieces he'd chosen to share with the public, but there wasn't a lot, and he only had about twenty friends in his list. Considering who he was, that was probably a smart move.

  His header was a picture of a supernova and the only photo in his album. Not even his profile picture could be viewed by the public. It was still large enough to make out: Zyan in front of a wall of brightly colored posters too blurry to discern beyond colorful blobs. He was looking at something off-camera and, judging by the angle, the photo had been taken by someone else. Somehow, he'd managed to merge confusion, annoyance, and condescension into one expression.

  This was Zyan? Mysterious, centuries-old, incredible, and immortal Zyan? Jessica wasn't sure what she'd been expecting—the only description she'd had was twenty-something Hawai'ian dude—but now as she stared at the photo, all she could think of was…cute.

  His skin was brown and his eyes seemingly as black as his hair. In the picture, he looked like he'd just fallen out of bed with how his bangs fell partly into his eyes while the rest stuck up in every possible direction. Jessica couldn't help herself. She tried to come up with a better word to describe his appearance, but all she could think of was…well, cute. Young. And grumpy, in the way her sister had always been when they'd woken her up at the end of a road-trip. She wondered if Zyan's personality fit his outward appearance, but from what Carter had shared with her, it definitely didn't.

  She tore her eyes away from the profile picture and continued scrolling through Zyan's public posts. After about two minutes, she recognized a pattern: all of them had a comment from a certain Ava Lee Martin underneath, followed by a reply on Zyan's part. They were bickering or joking under almost every picture, video, and status update, so they had to be quite close, right?

  Jessica smirked to herself. Thank god for old people who don't understand privacy settings.

  Approaching the target's best friend was even better than going for the target directly. She clicked on Ava's name and sent her a friend request combined with the message:

  Want to help me set up my best friend with yours?

  Less than a day passed before Ava accepted the friend request and replied to Jessica's message:

  Are you talking about the undying love between your friend Carter and a certain man named Zyan?

  Jessica grinned at her screen. Apparently, Ava had gone through her page as well and found out about Carter. And judging by the suspicious use of 'undying', Zyan must've filled her in on the immortality thing as well. Which was interesting, since Carter had mentioned more than once how closed-off Zyan was as a person.

  Jessica didn't want to risk anything, so she quickly typed out a message to ask for confirmation:

  When you say "undying" do you mean what I think you mean?

  Ava: I'm assuming so. So Carter has told you as well?

  Jessica: I thought he was crazy at first when he told me but there was something in the way he was speaking that made me want to believe him. You know what I mean?'

  Ava: Yeah. I think I do. Zyan only told me two days ago and I still wasn't sure if I should believe him but now that I'm talking to you…Still, I feel a bit overwhelmed by the entire thing.

  Jessica: It's a lot to take in, I know. You'll get used to it over time but I'm not gonna lie, I still feel like I'm not capable of fully comprehending the facts sometimes. I've known for about three years now and it still baffles me occasionally when Carter brings up stuff from the past.

  Ava: Well…at least now we can talk to each other.

  Jessica: Yeah :D

  Ava: If you don't mind…could you tell me a bit about what Carter's like?

  Jessica: He…seems a bit unapproachable when you first meet him. And he can be quite pessimistic at times. It took me almost an entire year to get him figured out but once I did…He's one of the best people I've ever met. Very loyal and with a unique sense of humor.

  Ava: He sounds pretty great.

  Jessica: What about Zyan?

  Ava: He's…different. I wouldn't have known how to explain it if he hadn't told me his secret yesterday. You can really feel that he has a lot more history and experience than the rest of us.

  Jessica: He sounds like an interesting person.

  Ava: He really is.

  Jessica: So what now? How are we gonna get them to meet each other?

  Ava: I have no idea.

  Two days passed, and the conversation between her and Ava was still going. They'd moved on from talking about their friends to talking about themselves.

  Ava shared stories about growing up with her siblings, and Jessica replied with ones of her own brother and sister. They started chatting about jobs, growing up, movies, TV shows, and music, until Jessica almost forgot why they'd started talking to begin with. Their conversations often carried late into the night, until one of them fell asleep, only to be picked up again the next morning, where they'd complain about being tired and having to get up early.

  Ava: You don't get to whine about this, you're your own boss!

  Jessica: Yeah, but that doesn't mean I can just keep my store closed because I wanna sleep in!

  Ava: Well, technically, you could.

  Jessica: I have employees, Ava. They expect me to be there an
d take care of the shipments. Hell, they couldn't even get in without me.

  Ava: But you could inform them. It's not like they could fire you.

  Jessica: I'm too tired to argue with you about this. Are you still at home?

  Ava: Nope. I just sat down in the bus.

  Jessica: Ah, the joys of public transportation.

  Ava: There's this person sitting next to me and their little demon spawn keeps drooling on my shoulder.

  Jessica: Aw, it likes you!

  Ava: Did you just say "it"?

  Jessica: You literally just called it "demon spawn" so you don't get to talk.

  Ava: Oh god, it just puked on me. Oh oh my god ewww, it smells like stale milk! I can't wear this to work!

  Jessica: I just wanted to inform you that I'm laughing at you.

  Ava: Screw you, Lewis!

  Jessica: I just got startled by the text message alert and inhaled hot coffee through my nose so I think we're even.

  Ava: Justice is served!

  Jessica: Good luck with the baby vomit.

  After four days of messaging back-and-forth via Facebook and cellphone, they decided to try out video chat. To say that Jessica was nervous would have been an understatement. It wasn't exactly that Jessica thought she had a crush, but…she felt like it could be one.

  Ava was great; she was funny and cute and caring, and Jessica was weak and very gay.

  Now, she wasn't sure that it was the same for Ava, but from what Jessica had seen on her page and the conversations they'd shared, it sounded a lot like she was either not straight or just involved in the LGBT+ community—whether that was because of Zyan or other family or friends remained to be seen.

  "What do you think?" Jessica asked.

  Carter looked up from his laptop. "Hm?"

  "Should I wear this? Or should I go more casual?"

  "If this girl is as great as you make her out to be, she won't care what you wear, so just put on whatever makes you comfortable."

  "That's…that's so unhelpful. Wow, Carter, you're fucking useless."

  Carter frowned. "That's very rude of you."

  "Well, I'm freaking out over here, and you're giving me shit advice!"

  "It's not like I have a lot of dating experience!"