Jessica drew her eyebrows together. "You're over 300 years old and not exactly ugly, as far as I can tell."
"That's so flattering. Thank you."
"What I mean is, how have you not dated dozens of people?"
Carter closed his laptop and set it onto the coffee table before leaning back with a shrug. "I just don't like the awkwardness of new relationships. I mean, there was Zyan and then there was Aaron, but…aside from them, it was all more—" he waved his hand a bit "—friends-turned-casual-partners before deciding we were better off as friends. And all of that was just in between marriages and never anything serious. Zyan's the only one I've ever gone on proper dates with."
"Aww, that is so disgustingly adorable."
"I can't wait to see you in an actual relationship," Carter said. He sounded threatening. "Because for every single comment like this, I will repay you tenfold."
Jessica decided to focus on the first part. "Hey, I've been in relationships since we've known each other."
Carter raised an eyebrow. "I wouldn't consider those relationships. You only went out once, maybe twice, with each of them, and even then, it wasn't because you were actually into them, but just because you felt pressured by your mother."
"That was a low blow, Aquino."
"It's still true."
Jessica narrowed her eyes. "This one's different."
"I know," Carter said, standing up. "And that's why I won't help you." He picked up his laptop. "Just be yourself. Dress however you want—hell, wear your pajamas and eat dinner in front of her! If you like each other, you might as well stop pretending like you're put-together human beings from the get-go and spare yourselves the transition phase into domestic life."
"You're really unhelpful!"
Carter shot her a smile before he disappeared through the front door.
Jessica sighed and looked around her living room. She might as well put on some sweatpants and set up her laptop on her bed.
*~*~*
Jessica gnawed at a lifted piece of skin on her cuticle as she watched the call connect. This was nerve-wracking. What if they ran out of things to talk about? What if they didn't find something to talk about to begin with? What if they fell into silence so deeply uncomfortable and awkward they could never come back from it and just stopped talking altogether?
Her hands were clammy. Her skin itchy. And her stomach felt like there was something alive inside trying to get out, and great, now she was thinking about giant alien parasites, which only made her feel queasier. Maybe she should just forget about the entire thing and stick to the safety of texts and—
"Hey!"
Jessica froze as she stared at Ava. Right there. On her screen. In real time. In the flesh. So much more than just a colorful speech bubble on her phone.
"Uh…are you okay?" Ava sounded careful. "Is there something wrong? Should I—? Do you need? Um…"
Jessica quickly shook her head. "Sorry, sorry. I just…Hey?"
Ava smiled brightly. "Hey!"
"I'm sorry if I'm being weird, this is just…it's so different. Right? Or is that just me?"
Ava's smile remained, though it turned softer, reassuring. "Not just you. But I do hope you're talking good-different, not bad-different."
Jessica's chuckle sounded a little breathless, even to her own ears. "Definitely good-different."
"Great! So, how was your day? You interviewed a buncha people, right?"
Jessica felt a weight lift off her shoulders. This was familiar territory. They talked about their days every evening. This, she could do. Her smile came naturally when she looked into Ava's bright, honest eyes. "Oh man, you should've been there today. This guy walked in and made some sexist comment about my clothes while I was still out in the store, so when I led him into the back to my office and sat down for the interview, his face just dropped the moment he realized I owned the place. It was the funniest shit I've ever seen, but I wanted to stay serious to let it really sink in with him."
Ava's laughter made warmth pool in Jessica's chest. This was why they'd decided to video chat. This was why she wanted to make this real. And eventually, she'd have the guts to ask for a real date.
*~*~*
"Do you ever wonder about all the history they must've witnessed?" Ava asked.
"I don't have to," Jessica replied. "Carter's giving me lessons all the time, and no, I never ask for them."
Ava chuckled. "Oh man, I wish Zyan would do the same, but ever since he told me about his immortality, he's been acting like it never happened."
Jessica nodded a little. "Yeah, Carter has mentioned that Zyan's always been a pretty guarded person. That's why I was so surprised you knew."
"About that…It wasn't planned. It was more like he couldn't avoid it any longer."
Jessica gave another little nod. Her thoughts were still circling around the topic she'd been trying to bring up ever since they'd started talking. So far, she hadn't seen an opportunity, but now, the sun was starting to set, and they both had work tomorrow, and time was running out. She yearned for that small confirmation, that bit of reassurance, that'd give her an idea of where this might be heading.
"…I just don't understand how he could keep this from me for so long. I mean, did he just plan on never telling me, until I start getting gray hairs while he still doesn't have as much as a single wrinkle?"
Jessica blinked until she'd refocused on Ava, who was gesticulating all over the place as she talked. "I don't know. Men are weird," Jessica replied, trying to lighten the mood.
Ava snorted. "Yeah, you could say that."
"Glad I'm not attracted to them," Jessica added. Real subtle there. Totally getting better at the gay thing. She looked at Ava in apprehension, her fingers crossed. Don't be straight, don't be straight.
"Yeah, I'm not that lucky," Ava said in a teasing tone.
Fuck. All right, then: please be bi, please be bi.
"Although, they're not all bad. I've dated a few guys that were pretty cool."
"I dated one back in high school. It was…interesting," Jessica said.
"Didn't end well, huh?" Ava asked.
"He wasn't too happy when I started dating his best friend's sister a few weeks after the break up."
"You were out in high school?" Ava called out, sounding impressed. "That's really damn brave. At my school, there was one out girl, but she came out at her graduation, so I don't know what it would've been like for her. With all the extremely heteronormative teachers and offhand homophobic comments, I doubt it would've been all that supportive."
That piqued Jessica's interest. "So, you're not straight?"
"Nope," Ava confirmed. "Proudly bisexual. At least now. A few years ago, I would've had a near panic attack if anyone called me that. I was closeted, even to myself, for a long time."
Jessica smiled. "I get that. I thought I was bi for the longest time, till I realized I was just parroting what my straight friends were seeing in all those guys."
"The joys of living in a heteronormative society, am I right?"
Jessica chuckled.
"I hope our generation gets to make a difference once all those old white dudes have died."
"Harsh. But true."
Ava's smile was followed by silence.
It wasn't nearly as daunting as Jessica had feared it'd be, but she still felt the need to fill it. She worried at her lip as she looked down at the softly illuminated letters on the keyboard. "You got any exciting plans for the weekend?"
She glanced at Ava, who cocked her head. "Nope. You?"
"Nope."
Silence fell again, and Jessica pursed her lips in discomfort.
Ava eventually broke into giggles. "Are we seriously gonna fall into one-syllable answers now? Come on, we're better than this!"
Jessica smiled. "Well, gimme something to talk about, then!"
"All right," Ava replied. "Tell me about…your first kiss."
"Whoa there, getting personal real fast, I see."
"Wasn't my intention." I just wanted to know if you were into girls.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't wanna."
"No, I'll tell you," Jessica replied, keeping her tone light. "I was thirteen, and my best friend at the time always dragged me to the public lake after school because this boy she was into spent a lotta time there with his dude-bro friends. And you know, the sun was hot, we were all constantly half-naked, and hormones were raging, so my friend got her boyfriend while I was basically forced to hang around her boyfriend's friends all the time while the two of them were busy making out."
"And lemme guess—you got with his best friend because you felt pressured to share in on your best friend's experiences."
"Pretty much, yeah. I don't think he was into me, either. He just wanted a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend," Jessica said.
"I know the type."
"What about you?"
"Childhood friend when I was twelve. We still laugh about how awkward it was," Ava said.
"You're still friends?"
"Yeah, but he went off to Singapore to this elite art school."
"Sounds intense."
"Oh, it is," Ava said. "But he improved immensely. It's incredible."
Jessica nodded. She felt the itch to chew at her cuticles again. She was nervous and couldn't help but think about asking for a date, but how could she bring it up without it sounding like she'd been thinking about it this entire time? She wanted it to sound natural, but—
"Earth to Jessica," Ava teased. "You still there?"
Jessica shook her head and smiled at her. "Yeah. I was just thinking."
"'Bout what?"
Jessica worried at her lower lip. Should she…? "Stuff."
Ava cocked an eyebrow. "Do feel free to expand on that."
Jessica chuckled. She hoped her nerves didn't show. "I was just wondering, 'cause, you know, we've been talking a lot online and now with the video chat…"
Ava looked like she knew where this was going. Her lips tugged up in a smile. "Yeeeah?"
"If you'd like to meet up some time. In real life. Go for ice cream or watch Netflix or something?"
"We talking Netflix…or Netflix and chill?" Ava teased.
Jessica felt her face heat up. "Wha-? No! I wasn't—!"
Ava burst into a fit of laughter so loud and free, Jessica's speakers clipped. Jessica couldn't help but follow, until they were both red in the face and tearing up.
Ava still giggled as she sniffed and wiped under her eyes. "Ah, fuck, my eyeliner."
Jessica reached up to wipe at her own. "Ah, shit."
*~*~*
Jessica felt a little guilty for ditching Carter. Their movie-night tradition reached almost as far back as their entire friendship, and although it wasn't the first time one of them had canceled, it was the first time since the 'Zyan Incident.'
But as bad as she felt for leaving him alone with his thoughts and memories, she really wanted to meet up with Ava. Ever since their little coming-out to each other, their conversations had gotten into more flirty territory, and eventually, they'd settled on a date for their first meet-up.
"Are you sure you don't want me to come by after?" Jessica asked.
She was at Carter's place to pick up the jacket she'd left there earlier that week. But while she was nicely dressed and ready for her first proper date in years, he was sitting in his office, unshowered and still in his pajamas, with his headphones in place.
Jessica knew if she were to comment on it, he'd tell her he was working, even though she could see he wasn't listening to demos but scrolling through YouTube recommendations. He should be glad his label was pretty much standing on its own two feet and barely needed him. If it were otherwise, he'd never be able to afford such a nice place.
"I'm fine, Jess. Just go, or you'll be late."
"Fine. But you better not be naked when I come by tomorrow morning."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
Jessica rolled her eyes and left.
*~*~*
While she was walking, Jessica's nerves hit her hard. She kept fiddling with her sleeves and imagining all the ways this could go wrong. What if they didn't have any chemistry in person? What if the atmosphere got so uncomfortable Ava would want to cut their meetup short? What if…? God, this was just a repetition of her thought progress before their video chat. If her brain could at least get a bit more creative, that'd be nice.
Despite all the contemplating and doubts, Jessica kept going until she reached the small vegan ice cream parlor by the park. She found herself a nearby bench overlooking the wide lawn filled with dogs and their owners and tried to let the peacefulness of the scenery calm her thoughts.
It wasn't working. What if Ava didn't show up? What if there was some miscommunication and Ava had written down a different date, or time, or place? Maybe she should just write Ava to make sure…
She'd just retrieved her phone from her pocket when a shadow fell over her.
"Hey, there."
Jessica's head shot up, and her mouth dropped open at the sight in front of Ava.
Ava was gorgeous. The pixelated webcam and lagging connection hadn't done her justice. Her dark skin was flawless, her hair in long box braids with multiple golden cuffs on several. Even her voice was startlingly different in real life than over Jessica's shitty speakers and headphones. It felt overwhelmingly real.
"Uh," Jessica let out intelligently, once she realized she still hadn't said anything.
Ava seemed unsure as she looked around. "Um…you— You wanna get that ice cream now? Or should we go for a walk?"
Jessica cleared her throat. "Ice cream sounds nice?" Oh, wow, okay. She hadn't meant to make that sound like a question.
Jessica's malfunctioning brain seemed to calm Ava down. Her lips spread into a smile. "Okay!"
Oh, well, there went Jessica's voice again. That smile. Dammit, part of Jessica had just died and gone to heaven. This was happening. She was on an actual not-quite-yet-a-date-date with someone so far out of her league. This had to be the universe trying to make up for her homophobic mother.
She managed to get up and head over to the building without stumbling over her own feet, and even there, she only stuttered a little when she gave the salesperson her order.
When they were back at the bench and sat down beside each other, Jessica's gaze dropped to Ava's hands and the way she was fiddling with the tips of her braids. Ava was—she was nervous too. She felt as unsure as Jessica did. And they weren't about to get over it if they continued to let it get the best of them.
She took a deep breath and wet her lips. "So…how're you doing?" Great job, Jess. Her inner voice sounded too much like Carter right now.
"I'm…good. And you?" Ava asked. She sounded a little awkward.
"Yeah, you're great! I-I mean, I'm great. But you're great too of course. I mean—"
Ava ducked her head and smiled. "You wanna get up and walk a little?"
Jessica let out a relieved breath. "Yeah, sounds good."
*~*~*
"I've literally never seen a man mope this much," Jessica said. Ava had been telling her about the shift in Zyan's behavior ever since the incident a while back.
Something between them had shifted and clicked along the way. They'd fallen back into their old rhythm of bantering over their friends' stupidity and embarrassing stories of the past.
Jessica wasn't going to lie: she still stumbled over her words every now and again, especially when Ava sat this close to her and smelled so unfairly amazing. Hell, Jessica could practically feel her pupils dilate to better take in the beautiful sight, but she wasn't going to let it distract her from the chance to get closer on every other level. Their connection had started based on shared humor and opinions—looks were just a perk. If a very nice perk.
"I wouldn't really say Zyan's moping," Ava replied. "He just seems…off? I can't describe it, and�
�if I didn't know him so well, I think I wouldn't even notice. I'm just worried. He's already hard to reach as it is, but now, it's like he's barely there most of the time. Like he's trapped in his head, and I don't know how to get him out."
"Man, if we could just get them into the same room to talk…" Jessica sighed. She could see it on Ava's face and hear it in her voice how much she cared for Zyan—how much she wanted him to be happy. And Jessica could relate: she wanted the same for Carter, but where could they even begin to fix this? It was an all-around shit situation.
"Maybe we could," Ava replied. Her brow was slightly creased, as if in thought. "I just don't know if Zyan would go for it if he knew what was happening."
"Well, we'll see," Jessica said. "But for now…you still owe me an explanation for that text you accidentally sent me yesterday."
Ava ducked her head. "I really hoped you'd forgotten."
Jessica smirked. "I never forget." She pulled out her phone and opened their ongoing chat. "'I think I might get fired for moon walking,'" she read.
Ava rubbed her face. "All right, so I was on shelf-duty while the store was mostly empty, but what I didn't know was that an inspector was making her rounds through all the branches, right?"
*~*~*
"And that's when I realized the interviewer could see my bra the entire time," Jessica concluded.
Ava covered her mouth with her hand—probably afraid of dribbling melted ice cream on herself with laughter—as she tilted her head back. She waved her hand in front of her face as she tried to swallow without choking. "Oh man, that must've been so embarrassing."
"It was, trust me," Jessica assured her. She didn't even try to hide her grin at Ava's behavior. It was cute, and worth sharing her own embarrassing story for. "Now it's your turn! Got any embarrassing stories you'd like to share?"
Ava shook her head. "Oh, hell no! I've already done my fair share of sharing today."
Jessica put a hand over her heart. "You're hurting my feelings here. I just confided something big. Your little dance party was nothing compared to accidentally flashing my potential boss with a Hello Kitty bra!"
"All right." Ava raised an eyebrow. "You sure you wanna hear this?"
Jessica leaned forward, a hopefully flirty smile in place. "Hit me!"
The Thing About Forever Page 4