"Zyan? Are you even listening to me?"
"Huh? Yeah. Sure." Zyan paused. "Uh, I'm glad your date went well. That…uh, girl…she sounds great. Um, don't forget to invite me to your wedding. I'll pay for the rings."
Ava looked a little concerned. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah. I'm just tired."
Ava sat up straighter. "Do you want me to go? I don't want to keep you up if—"
"No, no. It's fine. You can stay."
Ava slouched again. "Okay. So…um, I was thinking about inviting Jessie and you over to my place next weekend to, you know, return the favor, and hopefully get your blessing." Her smile looked hopeful.
Zyan didn't feel capable of returning it with honesty, so he kept his expression neutral. "I'm not sure that would be the best idea."
Ava's smile faded. "Why not? Don't you wanna meet her?"
"Honestly? I never want to meet anybody new in general. But I also don't think she would want to meet me. People and I don't really get along, and me third-wheeling would only ruin your date, so how about I just stay as far away from her as possible?"
Ava drew her eyebrows together. "I'm serious, Zyan, this is important to me. She's important to me. Just meet her, get to know her, tell me what you think. This is the first time in a long time I've actually been serious about someone, and it'd mean a lot to me if you could give her a chance. I mean, you never know, right? Maybe you'd hit it off and gain a friend!"
Zyan pressed his lips together as he saw the earnest look in her eyes. "Ava…" He paused. "You're clearly happy with Jessica and how things are, so why change something that already works?"
"You're literally just talking shit right now," Ava accused. "What the hell, Zyan? Why's it so hard for you to get off your ass and be a decent human being for one night?"
"It's not that! It's just—it's…complicated."
"How? How is this complicated?"
"When you're my age, you start to realize it is smarter to stay away from…mortals."
"That's what I am to you? A 'mortal?'"
Zyan's eyes narrowed in irritation. "Don't start putting words in my mouth. I never said that."
Ava groaned in frustration. "What are you even saying? That you don't wanna meet her 'cause she's mortal? Do you think she's below you?"
"No, of course not."
"Then where's the problem?"
Zyan averted his eyes and rubbed over his forehead. "When—when you're as old as me, you realize life quickly becomes nothing but a series of heartbreaks. You meet new people, you let them into your life, allow them into your heart, and for a while, things are good. They burn bright, they light your way and ease the pain of the past, but eventually you realize how they…change. They grow older. Their opinions change, their personalities shifts, but things are somehow still the same, and you allow yourself to forget about what's to come.
"Then they get achy, go to the doctors more, their hair turns gray or white, their skin becomes a display of the years they've lived and survived, and realization hits me with enough force to physically hurt. But it's always too late to back out. I've come to care for these people. I love them, and I'd never leave for my own sake. I stick around. I help where I can, pay bills where they let me, and suffocate any worry they have about me.
"And then the day inevitably comes where I'll walk into their home or visit them at the hospital and their bodies are all that's left behind. I'm numb at first, because I always am, because it always comes as a shock, because somehow, I always manage to push down the fears and the worries. It never gets easier to navigate the darkness that follows, and it never gets easier when my thoughts inevitably turn to the families left behind.
"Days pass without tears or sadness, until I show up at the funeral and watch from the sidelines as the families I could never meet lower their loved ones into the ground and say their goodbyes. The next day, I pack my bags, send them enough money to cover the funeral expenses, and move on to another place where I know things'll eventually repeat themselves."
"Do you ever regret it?" Ava asked. Her voice was low, empathetic.
"Letting them in?"
"Yeah."
Zyan sat silent for a beat before he shook his head. "Never."
A heavy silence fell around them, charged with emotion and thoughts of the inevitable future looming in the distance.
"You said you always watch from the sidelines," Ava said eventually. "You never meet their families?"
"Sometimes I do. Carter and I, back in the early 1900s, once stuck around a family for three generations before the cholera epidemic hit and forced them to their knees. They all died, one by one. It was brutal. After that, I made a point of staying in one place for no longer than a human lifespan. It makes it easier. To start fresh. Build a life. Move on."
Ava nodded but didn't say anything.
Zyan's throat was tight under the weight of his own words. He'd just painted his future in front of Ava's eyes, had just told her what he'd do once she died and pushed her to confront her own mortality in the face of his own immortality. "I'm sorry."
Ava frowned. "What for?"
"I know how it sounds. What I just told you, it doesn't mean you're not unique or important to me. It doesn't mean you're one of many, or that I'll forget you, or that this'll just blur in with the rest of my life. I remember each of them. Every single person I've lost. I cherish the time I had with them and I'll never forget them. You—" He took a deep breath. "One day, when you've passed, I promise you, I'll remember everything you've done for me. I lived secluded, cut off from everyone, before you stumbled into my life. I don't know where I'd be without you."
Ava didn't speak, but she leaned in and wrapped her arms around Zyan's neck. Her head lay pillowed on his shoulder as the words sunk in and the moon rose higher. The CD had long since played its last note and left them with their own thoughts.
Zyan's head dipped until his temple rested against Ava's hair. His arm wrapped around her as his eyes drooped shut. He wanted to push the memories away and ignore what it'd mean for the future. The thought of Ava aging and one day leaving him was too painful to bear. She was all he had. Before her, he'd been alone, trapped in a never-ending cycle of project after project to drown his sorrows in work and only going outside if absolutely necessary. He didn't want to go back to that. It hadn't felt like living.
"I don't know if you can avoid meeting her forever," Ava said softly. Her voice sounded hoarse.
Zyan opened his eyes but didn't lift his head. "You're serious about her, aren't you?"
"Yeah. It's never felt like this before. And I know it's still fresh, but…I think she's the one for me."
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"I'll meet her. If you still want me to."
"Really?"
"I've got to see what's so special about this woman that's got you so shook, right?"
Ava sounded caught off guard by her own laughter. "Shook? Really now?"
"I may be old, Ava, but I do still keep up with the kids."
"And what a good job you do at that."
"Oh, shut it."
CHAPTER NINE
Jessica
"Good news, Jessie. You're gonna meet Zyan on Saturday."
Jessica felt a grin spread across her face as she sat up straighter and pressed the cell phone harder against her ear. "Yeah?"
"Hell, yes! It took a lot of convincing and I almost cried twice, but he agreed to it."
Jessica frowned. "He made you cry?"
"Almost," Ava corrected. "And it's not what you think. He's got a…tough history with mortals. We had a heart-to-heart about it, and it's—I think I understand him a lot better now. Why he is the way he is."
Jessica relaxed at the words. "It's weird, isn't it? When they first open up."
"Yeah," Ava breathed. "I mean, I always thought I knew him, but now? I'm not so sure anymore. Apparently, he's one of those people that makes you feel like you know all about them, when in reality, you don't
know jack."
"Gotta be easy for them with their centuries' worth of history. They're probably not even remotely like the people they used to be. Gets you thinking, though, doesn't it? What they used to be like when they really were the age they look now."
"Yeah. Or what they'd be like if they were born the same time as us. Or how their human brains can store all those memories anyway. Or how they haven't died of disease yet."
"One day, we need to compile a list of questions and sit them down. But speaking of—now that you've met both of them…do you think they belong together?"
"Honestly? I'm not sure. They're very different, but also similar in a way." Ava paused. "I'm not making any sense, am I? Let me rephrase: they're not polar opposites, but they also don't seem…compatible. They're not two people I'd try to set up if the circumstances were different."
Jessica frowned. "What're you saying? Should we call off the mission?"
"I think I need to see them together to judge that. I mean, they used to be married…a lot."
Jessica could picture the face Ava was currently pulling at her own weird phrasing and stifled a laugh. "I know what you mean, marshmallow. Go on."
"Marshmallow?" Ava questioned. "Really?"
Jessica shrugged. "I'm just trying things out until I find something that fits."
"Uh-huh, Fruit Loop. Anyway. What I was saying—"
"Fruit Loop?"
"I think we can't know if they work together until we've seen them interact. They've been together for so long…" Ava was quiet for a second. "There's gotta be a reason for it, right? You don't just keep somebody around if you're not willing to put in the effort to make it work, and lord knows it's gotta take a lotta love to make a relationship work over actual centuries."
"I guess." Jessica thought it over and felt a smile tug at her lips. "I suppose that means there'll be a lovely double-date for us in the future, right?"
Ava chuckled. "I suppose so."
"My lovely little Toffifee—"
"What the hell is a Toffifee?"
"If things work out for the guys, will you do me the honor of going on a double date with them? Just you, me, our hopeless friends, and the limited choices of restaurants with vegan items on the menu?"
Ava laughed at the proposal. "Sure, Kit-Kat, I'll take any excuse to see your pretty face."
"Aw, stop it."
"I wish I had the time to charm off your panties, but my big brother's in town and I promised to meet him for lunch."
"Speaking of which, when do I get to meet all those siblings you keep talking about?"
"You're making it sound like I grew up in the Cheaper by the Dozen family. I only got two brothers and a sister," Ava replied. "Which reminds me…my mom just so happens to be celebrating her fif—I mean, thirtieth birthday in two months, and if you like, you could come along as my date."
"Thirtieth birthday with a twenty-four-year-old daughter, huh?"
"Uh…I'm adopted?"
Jessica grinned. "Sure. Also, yes, I'd love to be your date, but you've gotta help me pick out a present."
"I'm not sure I'm the best person to ask in that case, but I promise I'll do my best."
"Lovely. It's settled then," Jessica said.
"Yes. And don't forget about Saturday!"
"I won't."
*~*~*
"Hello?" Jessica grunted into the phone, her brain still halfway off in dreamland, where she'd just been chased by Lee Pace in a clown costume before the ringing had woken her. Sometimes, she really doubted dream psychology and its supposed hidden meanings.
"Jessie! I need your help!"
"What?" Jessica rubbed her eyes. "What're you talking about?"
"I've already been cleaning the place for hours, and I haven't even eaten breakfast yet, but I think I hid all my embarrassing personal belongings…even though you've both probably already seen it all, anyway. But, y'know—it's the principle of the thing."
"Why're you calling me again?"
"I—I'm sitting here dripping wet, in a towel on my bed, and staring at my closet, but I can't seem to focus on anything because I'm freaking out so much."
"Why're you freaking out?"
"I don't know! It's just—you're both important to me, and I want everything to be perfect! I even called Sheila for advice, but I forgot about the time-zone thing again, so I practically woke her up at the ass-crack of dawn, and her husband already hates me enough as it is because this is the third time this month and—"
"Wait," Jessica interrupted. Her voice was still scratchy and her thoughts slowed by residual sleep. "Sheila's your older sister, right?"
"Yeah. And she's really great. You'd love her."
"What advice did she give you?"
"She told me I was the only one putting pressure on me," Ava said.
"She's right, you know."
"Yes, I know, but if you two actually got along, it'd be like two parts of my life merging together and forming one big, happy whole."
"That's adorable, pumpkin, but you can't force us to like each other. No matter how spotless everything looks or how great the food is or how beautiful your hair looks, it's all gonna come down to whether our personalities clash or not."
"She said the same thing," Ava mumbled.
"Well, she sounds like a smart woman," Jessica teased.
"I really miss her." Ava paused. "But we'll both get to meet her on Mom's birthday, right? You're still coming?"
Jessica smiled. "Of course! I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"You'll also need to have my back, so Enzo doesn't get the chance to kill me."
"Let me guess—Enzo's the husband?"
"Yup. Sheila's never outright stated his dislike for me, but I can feel it, you know?"
"Like you can feel the ghost at work?"
"Exactly."
Jessica chuckled and rubbed the sleep from her eyes.
The silence that followed was comfortable. They listened to each other's breathing, the soft rustling of clothing and sheets, all without the underlying pressure of finding something to talk about. It made Jessica think about what it'd be like to wake up next to Ava every day. She imagined the sunlight peeking through the curtains, dousing Ava in a golden glow. She imagined the warmth of Ava's skin and the small puffs of breath against her own. Being able to touch her during the night, to remind herself this was real, that she was lucky enough to have met someone so wholeheartedly good and unique. There was a small ache, a longing in Jessica's chest, to make that fantasy a reality, but it was a good hurt—one filled with promises for the future.
"Are you still there?" Ava asked.
"Huh? Yeah. Yeah, I am. I was just…thinking."
"About what?"
Jessica smiled. "I'll tell you some other time."
She could practically hear the pout through the phone. "You can't just say stuff like that and then not share it with the class!"
"I promise you, it was nothing bad."
"That's not good enough, Lewis!"
Jessica smirked. "Do you really have the time to argue with me right now?"
"Oh, that's low, Jessie!"
"I just thought I'd make sure you wouldn't forget," she said lightheartedly. "Now, how about you go and get dressed, eat some breakfast, and relax? I'll make sure to do the same, and then we'll see each other later."
"And you'll be on your best behavior?"
"Aren't I always?" Jessica asked.
"I'm not gonna answer that."
"Have I ever told you what a wonderful girlfriend you are?"
"No, but I'm glad to hear it."
"I'll see you later, Ava."
"Bye, honey!"
Jessica smiled as she lowered the phone from her ear and put it down on the mattress next to her.
CHAPTER TEN
Zyan
Zyan was conflicted.
He was nervous to meet Jessica, to see her interact with Ava, and potentially let another person into his life and in on his secret. Ava spoke
highly of her, so she had to be an incredible person, but that didn't necessarily mean Zyan and she would hit it off as well. Sometimes personalities simply clashed, and there was nothing to be done about it, but he knew Ava would be crushed if that were the case.
Yet, if they did hit it off and became friends, Zyan would have another person he'd love and lose one day. It wasn't healthy to go into a friendship with the picture of a funeral in his head, but when experience made the picture so clear, it was impossible to remain lighthearted. The number of times he'd casually met a friend of a friend, only to let them into his heart and bury them decades later, was too high to leave him unscathed. With caring came devastation: for him, there was no way around it.
But then again, Carter had always been different. He'd treasured his time with the mortals. His awareness of their eventual demise was no less than Zyan's, but he'd never let it stop him from enjoying his life. Where Zyan had been extremely cautious of getting involved with anyone, Carter had been the first to welcome new people into his life with open arms. Which had inevitably also meant he'd let them into Zyan's.
They'd gone through heartbreak after heartbreak together, had buried friends and people they'd considered family left and right, had seen children grow into adults and lose their parents, and yet, Carter hadn't lost his eagerness to mingle with mortals. That was until not too long ago, when the loss of someone dear to Carter had made him reconsider. It'd changed him, made him more like Zyan—careful and withdrawn. Unlike what Zyan would've assumed, it hadn't felt satisfying or relieving.
There'd been several instances throughout their lives where Zyan had pushed Carter to change, to adapt to Zyan's ideas of right and wrong, of what immortality should mean for them, and how they should live to make the most if it.
There'd been a time where Zyan had had enough of watching privileged people live their lives to the fullest at the expense of the rest of the world. All the death and suffering at the hands of capitalism and corrupt politicians—it had gotten to be too much. Zyan's frustration had overruled all reason. He'd gotten it into his head that it was his responsibility to fix all the world's problems, that it was his duty in exchange for the gift of immortality.
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