"You got him to agree to meet me," Jessica pointed out.
"And that was already hard and painful to achieve! This? Now this is off the charts. This is gonna require tears and blood and—"
"Calm down! You make it sound like you'll have to summon a demon or something."
"If that's what it takes."
Jessica chuckled at the dramatics. "Let's keep it to nicely asking and maybe some bribery with baked goods."
"Baked goods?"
"It worked with Carter."
"Oh man, these guys better get married again after this, or I'm gonna be highly disappointed."
Jessica huffed a laugh and leaned her head back against the wall. "I'm with you, Smartie."
"This nickname-snack-thing we've got going on is starting to get pretty ridiculous," Ava commented.
"Really? I think it's pretty adorable."
"Those two things don't necessarily cancel each other out," Ava replied.
"Good. Because I don't intend to stop until I've run out of ideas."
"Oh man, I really love you." Ava's words were followed by a heavy silence. "Uh, I mean…I…I've gotta go. Bye!"
The one that followed seemed even more pregnant. "I love you too," Jessica said softly before she lowered her phone.
She tried to call her back, but Ava had either shut off her cell, or was calling somebody else. The second one was more likely, since Ava had a tendency for calling her siblings when her anxiety was spiking.
With a heavy sigh, Jessica leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes. She knew Ava would call her back soon enough, whether it be to freak out and take it back, or start ranting about how she'd meant it, but hadn't planned for it to come out like this. Jessica hoped for the latter.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Zyan
Zyan opened his door to reveal his best friend staring accusingly down at her cellphone as if it had just personally offended her.
Zyan looked down at the black screen. "What did that thing do to you to make you look like that?"
"I might've just made a mistake." She still refused to look up from the device clutched in her hand.
"Okay," he drawled. "What did you do, then?" She pushed past him without raising her gaze. Zyan followed her with his eyes. "Yeah, sure, come on in." He closed his door, knowing she'd be staying a while.
Ava began to pace. Her eyes squeezed and relaxed around the cellphone, though now she was staring ahead unblinkingly.
"What happened?" Zyan crossed his arms.
"I just told my girlfriend I love her."
"That…" Zyan frowned. "Isn't that kind of what you do?"
"Yeah, but…we haven't been together that long, and neither of us has said it before, and now I just went out and said it all casually after she called me by the name of a chocolate snack."
Zyan tilted his head. "What?"
"It's—" Ava cut herself off, waving the comment aside. "Doesn't matter."
"Okay..."
Ava looked over at him, her footsteps slowing. "What am I supposed to do?"
Zyan shrugged. "Nothing."
Ava halted. "Wow, thanks, Zyan."
"No, I meant, you're overthinking again. You're making a much bigger deal out of this than it actually is. I bet you didn't even give Jessica the time to reply." He shot her a pointed look. "Am I right?"
"No!" Ava replied automatically and forcefully. "Yes," she admitted then. "Maybe."
Zyan stepped closer, until he could comfortably put a hand on her shoulder. "Come on, Ava, do you really think she's going to be mad because you told her you love her?"
Ava lowered her gaze back to her phone. "Of course not, but…"
"But what?"
"What if it makes things awkward? We haven't been together that long, haven't even had sex yet, and now I dropped this feelings-bomb on her."
"There's no guide to relationships. Whether you decide to exchange I love yous or have sex first is up to you guys."
Ava let out a breath and relaxed her shoulders. "You're right."
"Of course I am," Zyan teased. "And I mean, you two have been together for how long?"
"Almost three months."
"See? That's not an unreasonable point in a relationship to exchange those three words," he tried to reassure her. "There's no reason for you to panic. Jessica is an adult woman, and she's probably been in serious relationships before. The best thing you can do right now is call her back and talk it out, okay?"
Ava looked up at him, a small smile in place. "You know, that's decent relationship advice for someone who's been divorced a dozen times."
"Hey, each of those marriages lasted at least five years on average."
"Still not the best track record, if you ask me."
"Based on what statistic? There's no one our age we could compare it to!" Zyan stepped forward to push at Ava's shoulder. "Now, go home and call your girlfriend."
Ava's initial laughter cut off. "No, wait! Do you think I should tell her I meant it?"
"If it feels right."
"What if it doesn't? Should I take it back, then?"
"Don't you dare!"
"Okay, okay. But what if—"
"Bye, Ava!" Zyan spoke over her and gently maneuvered her toward the exit.
*~*~*
The next day, Ava invited Zyan over. That in and of itself wasn't unusual by any stretch, but the way she'd spoken the words and tone in which she'd said them was. It'd sounded like there was more to it than just one of their regular video game and movie marathons. Chances were, it'd be a negative surprise for Zyan. Mostly because he generally wasn't one for surprises to begin with. He liked knowing what he was walking into.
Which was the reason he was prepared to flee back to his apartment at any given moment. He'd kept his front door unlocked and key stuck on the inside, so he'd only have to dash through the hallway and turn it once to lock Ava out, in case she wanted to corner him. It felt about as immature as it sounded, but it gave him a sense of control, and he'd take what he could get.
Now, as he stood in front of Ava's door, he took a deep breath before he knocked.
"It's open!" came Ava's muffled response.
Zyan walked in on Ava unpacking a plastic bag full of Chinese take-out on her coffee table.
Zyan suspiciously narrowed his eyes at the sight. "I see you already ordered."
"Yup." Ava sounded like she was going for casual, but he could hear the underlying uncertainty. She was planning something. This wasn't just food—it was bribery.
Zyan walked further into the room after he'd closed the door behind himself. He made sure to keep the couch between them, in case he needed to escape, and crossed his arms. His gaze never strayed from her. "What do you want, Ava?"
She looked up at him with wide, innocent eyes. "Nothing. Why would you ask that?"
Zyan lifted an eyebrow. "Just spit it out so we can get this over with."
Ava sighed and dropped onto the couch, sitting close to the edge, as if she didn't want to get too comfortable. "Jessie and I thought that it'd be a good idea to—"
"Nope. No. Nuh-uh. No way. Whatever you two have come up with, I decline."
Ava frowned up at him. "You didn't even let me finish!"
Zyan raised his hands surrender. "Apologies. Please go ahead and finish your proposal."
Ava gave a nod with narrowed eyes. "What I was trying to say was that Jessie and I thought it'd be nice if you and Carter would get to know each other, so we can all hang out together. It'd be perfect for all of us if she and I didn't have to pick and choose between spending time with our friends and each other."
Zyan didn't even have to think about the answer. "No."
"Why not?"
Zyan shook his head. "Meeting your girlfriend is one thing—she means a lot to you, and has become a big part of your life over the last few months, but that other guy? You barely know him. After everything I told you the other day, I thought you'd respect my boundaries when it comes to this."
Zyan drew his eyebrows together. "What're you talking about? You met him once."
"Yeah, but—I-I think you'd find you have a lot of things in common."
"Why? 'Cause he's a guy?"
Ava's eyes lit up. "Exactly! Don't you miss having friends your own gender? Someone you can hang out with when I get stuck trying on bras at the mall?"
"That has literally never been a concern of mine."
"Are you saying you like going bra shopping with me?"
Zyan shrugged. "It gives me time to space out, and hearing you complain about overpriced underwear is fun."
Ava looked defeated. "Damn my funny nature."
"If it makes you feel any better, I think those rants are the only times I've cried laughing in the past fifty years."
"That actually does make me feel better. Thanks, Zyan."
"Now, about that food," Zyan said, and peeked past her at the coffee table. "Do you want to hang out, or did you just invite me over to talk about your girlfriend's pal?"
"No, no. Come on in. Let's watch this awful shark movie I found on Netflix."
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Jessica
"We're gonna head over to Ava's to pick her and her friend up first, if that's okay," Jessica announced by way of greeting.
"Hello to you too It's lovely to see you," Carter responded while he neatly rolled up the sleeves of his button-up. He nudged the door closed with his foot after he let her walk in.
Jessica smiled at him after he turned to face her. She gave him a once-over before her gaze settled on his face. "Looking good, Aquino. Now you just need to fix your hair, and you'll be ready to go."
Carter frowned at her. "I washed it—what more do you want?"
Jessica raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you gay guys supposed to be fashionable and everything?"
"Says the lesbian who has not a single plaid shirt in her closet."
Jessica had to give him that one. "Fair enough. But let me at least mess it up a bit. You're killing me with that neatly-parted-thing."
Carter tugged at his rolled-up sleeves once more before he leaned down, so Jessica could reach his head without needing a stool. He grumbled something along the lines of "thought it wasn't a set-up" but Jessica didn't feel the need to honor that with a response.
When she leaned back, Carter immediately reached up to unsuccessfully try to flatten his hair back down.
"Ready to go?" she asked.
Carter mumbled a response and reached for the doorknob. Jessica would take that as a yes.
When Ava opened her door, Jessica felt her breath catch in her throat. Her gaze shifted from Ava's impressive golden eye-makeup to the colorful extensions weaved into her box braids and bright green nail polish. "You look gorgeous," Jessica breathed.
A smile lit up Ava's face as she stepped closer and pushed onto her tiptoes for a kiss.
"Okay, let's not drag it out this time," Carter commented from behind Jessica. There was a teasing note to his voice.
Jessica ignored him and let her lips linger on her girlfriend's. When Ava pulled back, Jessica darted forward for another peck, just to hear that small giggle leave Ava's lips and make her stomach flutter. Ava's soft and blissful expression was highlighted by the deep red that had seeped into her cheeks. Jessica felt the urge to kiss her again, but she held back.
"You guys all done?" Carter's voice was laced with amusement.
Ava's eyes darted down to Jessica's lips, which curled up in a smile. "Hmm…I don't know."
"Just tell me where your friend is, so I have some entertainment while I give you your privacy."
"Um, he's— He's still in his apartment."
"Okay, let's go, then." Carter turned to face the only other door in the hallway. He glanced over his shoulder at them with a raised eyebrow and a finger pointed at the door in question.
Ava nodded. "Yeah, that's him." She glanced over at Jessica, who gave her a reassuring smile.
It was a blatant lie. She wasn't sure about any of this. Neither of them knew the reasons behind Zyan and Carter's last divorce. Maybe it was something unfixable, and maybe it was the best for both to stay apart, but Jessica doubted they'd both be so hung up on each other if either of them had done something unforgivable.
She reached out, squeezed Ava's hand, and stepped up behind Carter as he knocked on his ex-husband's door.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Zyan
Zyan could do no more than stare. His heart sped up, his breath caught in his throat, his muscles froze, and still he couldn't begin to compute any part of this situation.
Part of him wanted to slam the door and hide in his office, but even as much as twitching his finger seemed impossible. Questions piled up in his mind of 'why?' and 'how?', but he couldn't voice them, couldn't even get his jaws to move.
Some distant part of his brain registered Ava and Jessica looking back and forth between him and the one person he'd never be prepared to face. They weren't anywhere near his list of priorities. Not while he was trapped by Carter's presence.
"What the hell are you wearing?" Carter asked. His words brutally shattered the silence.
It tore Zyan out of his stupor. "What the hell happened to your hair?" he shot back.
"Jess messed it up," Carter answered. His eyes never left Zyan, as if he were afraid Zyan would up and disappear if he dared to.
"It looks…strange."
"In a bad way?"
Zyan shook his head. "It suits you. Reminds me of the way you used to wear it."
Carter nodded. His gaze still burned into Zyan's, but his thoughts remained firmly hidden behind an impenetrable mask.
Jessica sneezed.
It was enough for reality to come crashing down on Zyan. He tore his eyes away from Carter and looked at the doorjamb to gather his thoughts. His hands were clammy, his heartbeat irregular. Carter wasn't supposed to still hold so much power over him, yet here they were, and Zyan was no more over him than he'd been after the day of their last divorce.
"Why did you bring him here?" Zyan asked. He still couldn't bring himself to look at any of them, even as he felt their gazes burn into his skin.
"I—"
"No, forget it." Zyan cut Ava off. "I don't want to hear it."
"Zyan, we didn't—" Jessica started.
Zyan shook his head and was about to close the door when Carter's hand shot forward to keep it open. "I think we should talk."
Zyan looked back into Carter's eyes, despite his better judgment. "And I think we should stay away from each other, like we agreed, after the disaster that was our last divorce."
He could see something in Carter's face harden. It was the first sign of how affected he was by Zyan's presence, and of how caught-off-guard he was as well. "Please, Zyan."
Zyan pressed his lips together and let his gaze wander to Jessica and Ava. Their expressions spoke volumes. There was more to this than coincidence or fate. They'd had a hand in this. "Not with them here."
Carter nodded and dropped his hand to face them. "Could you wait at Ava's for a while? I'll come by when I'm done here."
"Yeah, of course," Jessica said. Her voice was gentle, sympathetic.
Ava only gave Zyan a sad look, her eyes wide and apologetic. Zyan shook his head and looked away.
Two sets of footsteps faded down the hallway before a door fell shut.
Alone with Carter, Zyan reeled. He kept his gaze averted as he turned, headed for his couch, and sank into the cushions without as much as an attempt at appearing graceful. Carter would've seen through the façade anyway. There was no point in hiding, in building walls, or in feigning calm.
He kept his eyes on the black screen of his TV as Carter closed the door and moved around the place. But when he didn't immediately sit down, Zyan looked up to find him walking around the room and trailing his gaze over the bo
okshelves and framed pictures on the wall.
"Did you keep any of our memories?" Carter asked. He sounded afraid of the answer.
Zyan knew he wasn't talking about actual memories. "Of course, you idiot," Zyan answered, no heat behind the insult. "I'll never throw them out."
Carter nodded, a slight movement Zyan almost missed. He seemed relieved but didn't voice it. Minutes of charged silence passed, until Carter finished his tour around the room. Even when he was done, he didn't sit down. His posture was in control, where he stood by the kitchen doorway, feet at shoulder-width, as if he were readying himself for something.
He should look out of place, Zyan thought, but he doesn't. He wasn't sure what to take from that.
"Why are you here?" Zyan asked. "Did you know?"
"That you'd be here?" Carter replied and shook his head. "No. But then again, Jess told me your name, so maybe part of me had hoped."
Zyan allowed his confusion to show. He'd stopped raising his walls around Carter a long time ago, and old habits were known to be hard to break. "Hoped?"
Carter nodded. "Yeah." His shoulders visibly drooped. "I've missed you."
Zyan swallowed thickly, unsure how to respond. I miss you too? Every day without you is physically painful? I see you in everything I do, in every person that passes by? I don't know how to live without you?
Carter's eyes burned into him, piercing through every one of his defenses and all the lies he'd tried to convince himself of. "What about you? Did you miss me at all?"
Zyan stood up. He couldn't sit any longer, couldn't keep himself from moving and containing his nervous energy. He clenched and unclenched his fingers as he approached Carter head-on. They stood at nearly the same height, Zyan only about half an inch taller. He wet his lips and inhaled deeply. "No." It was a lie. Of course it was. And Carter would know, would see through it like he always did, and he'd—
Carter only nodded. The movement was small, slow, and it broke Zyan's heart. How could he believe it, accept it, so readily? And what did it mean for all the time they'd spent apart? Had Carter actually thought Zyan was doing fine without him? That he wasn't hurting? That Zyan didn't miss him, them, everything they'd lost?
The Thing About Forever Page 11