"You ready?" Ava whispered.
"More than ready."
Jessica's skin tingled when their hands brushed as they exchanged the rings and entwined their fingers before they looked back at the rabbi.
"Can I kiss her now?" Jessica asked again.
"Just one more thing," the rabbi promised. "By the power vested in me—" Jessica shot her a pointed look. The rabbi chuckled. "Yada yada, I now pronounce you Mrs. and Mrs. Martin-Lewis. Now you can go ahead and kiss her."
Jessica didn't have to be told twice. She chucked her bouquet over her shoulder at her siblings and grabbed Ava's face to pull her in for a kiss.
She heard the glass break under Ava's foot as she stepped on the bag over the crowd's cheers and applause. There were shouts of "Mazel tov!" and "Good luck!" followed by their siblings singing the first Sheva B'rachot, but it all sounded distant as she and Ava both giggled between kisses and bumping noses.
*~*~*
"I can't believe you're literally going to wait a week to go on your honeymoon just so you can catch the season finale of that stupid show," Zyan said as he unlocked the door for the newly-wed couple.
Jessica, who was holding Ava bridal-style, attempted to shrug but failed. Ava wasn't exactly heavy, but the longer Jessica had to hold her up, the more her arms ached, and it had been a few minutes already. "We have decided—as wives—that it's in both our interest to do it this way, so screw you."
"And you love that show!" Ava added.
Carter wrapped an arm around Zyan's shoulders, looking just as happy as Jessica felt. "Come on, cupcake, don't lie and act like we've never done anything equally ridiculous in our lifetime."
Zyan huffed a breath to cover up a smile still blatantly visible. "Just go ahead and carry her over the threshold."
Jessica grinned at Zyan. "Thanks!" She looked down at Ava. "Watch your head, pumpkin. I'd rather not give you a concussion before our wedding night."
Ava chuckled. "Just go ahead already. I know I'm not the lightest."
"You're perfect," Jessica responded immediately. And she meant it. Ava was literally the most gorgeous woman she'd ever laid her eyes on. And now here she was: the woman of her dreams in her arms, and about to take her first step as a married woman into their shared apartment. Which was about as far as she got before Ava had her arms wrapped around Jessica's neck to push their mouths together.
They were still kissing when Jessica slowly pulled her arm away, allowing Ava to get her feet back underneath herself.
And they were still kissing when Zyan announced that he didn't want to be around for this part and left, followed by the soft click of the lock.
And they were still kissing when Jessica steered them into the bedroom after fiddling with the doorknob behind her back.
And they didn't stop kissing until Jessica got her first look at Ava's underwear. "Are you wearing Hello Kitty panties underneath your weddings dress?"
"I couldn't find my white ones, and it's not like anyone could see!"
"God, I love you, Ava Lee Martin-Lewis."
"Aw, I love you too, Jessie."
"Now, please take those things off. I feel like that cat is judging me."
Part 4
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
2 Years Later
Jessica
They were all gathered in Zyan and Carter's apartment, where they'd pushed the furniture aside to put several pillows and blankets in their place. They lay spread out on the floor, near the TV, after they'd come together to celebrate Christmas, despite only one of them being an actual practicing Christian.
Since Carter and Zyan only had each other, and Ava had already celebrated Hanukkah with her family, they'd decided to spend the day with Jessica, who didn't want to face her family this year.
"So," Ava started. "When are you guys gonna get hitched again?"
Zyan and Carter threw a short glance at each other.
"I, for one, don't think it's necessary," Zyan said.
Ava frowned at him. "Why?"
"Yeah," Jessica added. "With all your past marriages, I would've thought you'd enjoy the ceremony."
Carter shrugged. "We've talked about it and…we're just not sure it's worth it. Promising each other forever is put into perspective when you're immortal and immune to pretty much all diseases."
"But you already knew that before," Ava pointed out.
"And we ignored our doubts, and look where that got us," Zyan said.
"On the floor with two girls and your ex-husband?" Jessica replied.
"Exactly," Carter answered.
"We keep getting divorced," Zyan continued. "Why can't we just stay together, unmarried, and enjoy our time? Should we split up again somewhere down the line, we'll be able to just go ahead and do it, without worrying about formalities."
"Marriage is overrated anyway," Carter said.
"Hey!" Ava and Jessica protested.
Carter recoiled and shuffled closer to Zyan.
"Now, let's stop discussing my private life, and instead watch those movies you keep yapping on about." Zyan tossed the remote over Carter to Jessica, who threw him one last glare before she pressed 'play.'
Night fell a few hours later and left them tired, yawning, and blinking exceptionally slowly. Yet they still kept each other awake as they lay curled up on the blankets and pillows and stared into the darkness.
"Where do you think the monsters under our beds go during the day?" Ava asked into the room. "Do they portal to some kind of day-job?"
Jessica shrugged, her shoulder brushing against Ava's in the process. "It's always night somewhere, so maybe they're responsible for more than one bed."
"Didn't they make an animated movie about that?" Carter asked.
"That was about the monsters in the closets," Zyan replied.
"Oh," Carter said. "Is there a difference?"
"Apparently," Zyan said.
"My brother used to be terrified of the dark," Jessica told them.
"You have a brother?" Zyan asked, clearly only teasing.
Jessica could feel Carter move next to her, most likely to elbow Zyan, who made a small, pained noise.
"I can't even imagine Luke being scared," Ava said.
"Oh, he was the wimpiest little kid," Jessica snickered. "He doesn't like to talk about it, but he was scared of pretty much everything: heights, water, darkness, spiders, bugs, snakes, sharks, rats, shadows…" She paused. "I don't think there's anything he wasn't afraid of."
"Wow," Ava replied. "He's come quite far since then."
Jessica nodded in agreement.
"My sister used to be afraid of the woods," Zyan said.
Jessica whipped her head around, despite being unable to see Zyan through the blackness of their surroundings. "You have a sister?"
"Had," Zyan corrected her. "She's long dead by now."
Jessica winced. "Of course. I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."
"It's fine," Zyan said. "The last time I saw her, she was only ten years old."
"I can barely remember her," Carter said quietly.
"Me too." Zyan's voice was low, guarded. "I didn't even get to say goodbye to her."
Ava asked the question Jessica was too afraid to ask herself. "What happened?"
"She wasn't there when I…died," Zyan told them. "And after Carter had brought me back, Mother made a short process of kicking us out. She probably told my sister I died and my body got taken. The only thing I can remember of her is her messy black hair and her dark brown eyes. She loved to cook and dance and make up little games we could play with small rocks and pebbles that she painted in different colors. She'd always beg me to take her out on the ocean with our canoe."
"What was her name?" Jessica asked.
Zyan was silent for a long time. When he spoke again, his voice sounded uneven. "I don't remember."
"I'm sorry," Jessica got out. Her throat felt tight. "I didn't mean to…"
"It's fine," Zyan said. He didn't sound like it was fine.
/> A heavy silence settled around them. For what felt like half an hour, nobody dared to break it, aside from the occasional sound of somebody shifting to get more comfortable.
Jessica felt the tension like a weight on her chest. She couldn't imagine living centuries, losing everything she knew, changing and reinventing herself over and over again. Even just over the last few years, her entire life had changed. From meeting Ava, getting married, and finally coming to terms with her parents' disapproval, all the way to now, where she was the happiest she'd ever been. She'd grown and established herself as a person, yet she knew her transformation would last until the moment she took her last breath.
As much as she didn't like to think about her inevitable end, it was still something she preferred over the concept of immortality. She wouldn't be able to bear all the loss and pain, and neither did she want to bury everyone she loved while she stayed young. Growing old with Ava—that was what she wanted. That was her idea of a happy end.
"I wish we were outside right now," Ava whispered, breaking the silence and startling the rest of them.
"Why?" Jessica asked after a short pause in which she tried to push her thoughts aside.
"We could be looking at the stars instead of the ceiling." Ava was quiet for a few beats. "We should all go for a picnic someday. Leave in the afternoon and stay until nightfall. There's a beautiful tree in the park that would provide some shade if it's too hot."
"Picnics are overrated," Zyan said. "Especially underneath a tree. All it gets you is ants in your pants and spiders in your hair."
"Ants in your pants," Carter repeated, sounding amused.
"Shut up," Zyan responded, with no heat behind his words.
Jessica yelped and sat up when she was suddenly kicked in the shin. "Ouch! Why?"
Ava, who'd been trying to free her legs of the blanket, winced. "Sorry, Jessie. I need to go the bathroom."
Jessica lay back down while Ava rummaged through her bag for a few seconds before heading toward the small hallway.
"Have fun!" Carter called after her.
The remaining three lay in silence until Ava's voice caught their attention. "Ah!"
"Are you okay?" Jessica called out. "What happened?"
"Do you know that feeling when you insert a tampon slightly wrong and it feels like you've just stabbed yourself in the gut?"
Jessica cringed. "Yeah! Don't do that!"
"Thanks, Jessica. I don't know what I'd do without you!"
"Hey! Don't sass me. That's my job!"
Ava didn't respond.
"Is that really a thing that happens?" Carter asked, sounding mildly concerned.
"Yeah," Jessica replied.
"No offense," Carter said, "but I'm glad I don't have to deal with that."
Ava came back a few minutes later and immediately curled into Jessica's side, where she drifted off in a matter of minutes. Jessica kept her voice low as she continued to speak with the others, until Carter followed Ava into sleep.
"Are you okay?" Jessica asked softly, as she realized Zyan was struggling to get comfortable.
"Not really," he answered after a beat.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize. It's no one's fault."
Jessica nodded, though she knew Zyan couldn't see it.
"I remember her name," he said. "It's the only thing I could never forget."
For a long moment, Jessica didn't know what to say. "Why did you lie?"
"I don't want anyone to know. It's the only piece of her not muddled by time. Everything else could be tainted by false memories, but this…this is the one thing I know to be true. I carry it with me wherever I go. Sharing it would feel like giving it away."
Jessica kept staring into the darkness, barely capable of making out the silhouettes against their even-darker surroundings. "I'm sure you were a great brother to her."
"I hope so."
Sleep soon overtook her, and she could only hope Zyan found some peace in his dreams as well.
CHAPTER FORTY-NINE
Zyan
Pride was approaching, and they were all getting ready to celebrate. They had their T-shirts, their colored hair-spray, and face paints.
Then the news hit.
They were all gathered in Carter and Zyan's apartment, sitting huddled together on the couch in their pajamas, while Zyan slowly felt himself falling apart. He was feeling too much and too little at the same time. The silence had been stretching out for almost half an hour until it was finally broken by the ringing of Ava's cellphone.
"Yeah?" Ava croaked.
The voice on the other end of the line was loud enough for Zyan to make out in the quietness of the room. "Oh, my god, you're okay! How are the others? Are you all fine? Did you get hurt?" It was Ava's sister.
Ava shook her head. "I'm fine. We're all…fine. It's just…" She trailed off.
"Did you call Mom? I bet she's worried sick!"
Ava nodded. "I did. Or well, she called me. As soon as she heard the news. That's how I found out. We were…we were at the boys' apartment and—and laughing and watching TV."
"I'm so sorry. What about everybody else? Did you know somebody that…"
Ava cleared her throat to make sure her voice wouldn't crack. "No." She shook her head. "No, I don't."
"Good. I mean, I'm glad…"
Ava tried to say something but found that she couldn't.
"Just…stay together. Be there for each other. Don't…don't be alone right now. It's not good for you."
"I will."
"I love you, Ava. I love you so much."
"I love you too."
The silence filled the line for several seconds before Ava's sister hung up.
The days until Pride flew by in a whirlwind of numbness, nightmares, and an ever-growing list of names that burned into Zyan's brain. Where the news lacked in reporting the incident for what it was, the internet and social media filled in.
"I can't go."
"And you don't have to," Jessica assured.
Ava gave a small nod, but Zyan knew she still felt like she was failing the entire community. He knew by the look on her face and the set of her shoulders and the defeat in her voice. So many people throughout history had fought for them to get this far, and what Ava was experiencing right now was the pressure of feeling like she owed them all—to be there and march along with the hundreds, if not thousands, of people she shared so many experiences with. All these people who could walk out in the open, celebrating this part of themselves that had been against the law for so long.
"Well, I'm going."
Zyan looked over at Carter crossing his arms.
Ava shook her head. "It's not safe, Carter. Not after…"
"If I let that stop me, he wins!"
Zyan put a hand on Carter's shoulder. "Don't. You're only making her feel worse."
"It's true!" Carter burst out, turning to face him. "That's exactly what he was trying to accomplish when he went in there, guns blazing! He wanted to punish us, to make us feel scared and remove ourselves from the public eye so nobody else will ever have to deal with seeing us kissing out in the open! Well, I'm not letting him have that! I refuse to! You guys can do whatever you want, but I'm going, and I'll wear all the fucking rainbows and shout out to the world that I am fucking gay!"
Zyan felt it like a knife in his heart. "Carter…"
"No!" Carter pulled away from his hold. "Don't even try to talk me out of this! We haven't lived through all of this to back down now!"
"I'm not trying to stop you," Zyan said softly. "I'll be there with you, I promise. But we're immortal. They aren't." He glanced over at Ava and Jessica, who were watching them, expressions filled with dozens of different emotions. "If they don't feel safe out there, they shouldn't go. That's not what Pride is about, not anymore. It should be a celebration. The marchers should be happy, not walking in constant fear, looking over their shoulders in case somebody wants to attack them."
Carter
bit down on his lower lip, looking like he was close to tears. "Why do these things keep happening?"
Zyan shrugged and shook his head. "I don't know."
Carter gave a tiny nod and looked over at Ava and Jessica. "I'm sorry. I…"
"It's okay," Ava said quietly.
"No, it's not," Carter argued.
"I don't want you to beat yourself up over it," Jessica replied. "We understand. It's…difficult for all of us."
Carter nodded.
*~*~*
With the flags on his cheeks smudged and hair mussed, Zyan pushed the key into the door while Carter stood back and waited. Inside, Jessica and Ava were already rushing over to embrace them and tug them over to the couch.
"We kept checking the news…" Ava trailed off.
Zyan sat down and pulled her into his side. "It's okay. Nothing happened. We're safe. No one got hurt."
Ava nodded against his shoulder.
"Are you sleeping over tonight?" Jessica asked.
"If you don't mind," Carter said.
"Never."
They didn't sleep much that night. They talked and joked and ate, watching one movie after another to distract themselves and enjoy just being there, together, safe and healthy. It would take time for things to fall back into place, and maybe they wouldn't go out as much until their minds had calmed and inner turmoil had settled, but they all had each other to lean on. For now, that would have to be enough.
Part 5
CHAPTER FIFTY
10 Years Later
Zyan
"Am I doing this right? Because it doesn't feel like it."
Ava glanced over at Zyan, who was trying to get the dough he was working with to stay in a triangular shape. He was failing miserably. "Your feeling is right."
Zyan glared at her. Ava gave him a sunny smile in return.
"How do you pronounce the name of these things again?" Carter asked from his spot next to Zyan.
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