"How do you know that? Have you tried to contact them?"
"Yes. I send them birthday cards and Christmas cards and anniversary cards. I call them every year during the holidays, hoping they’ll want to see me. But it’s always so awful. Dad won’t come to the phone, and Mom rushes me off because we don’t know what to say to each other. They know where I am. But they've never made any move to contact me on their own.” She swallowed hard, but the lump in her throat would not ease. “They've never seen Kristen. They left the hospital without even looking at her. They told me they wouldn't support me and they meant it."
"What did you do? Where did you go?"
She shrugged. "I managed. I had some money saved for college, so I bundled Kristen up and got on a bus. I knew the money wouldn't last, but I stretched it out long enough to move here and get a job waitressing at a good restaurant. I did that until this past September when Kristen started school. Part of me hoped that I'd be able take some classes and get my degree."
He smiled. "I'm sure you will someday."
She tried to smile, but the muscles in her face wouldn't cooperate. All her childhood dreams seemed a million miles away. "I barely have time to brush my teeth, Kyle. Did you forget I have a six year old?"
He lifted himself from the chair and dragged it to the table before absorbing the distance between them. Though they weren't touching, she could feel his warmth. "Things change, Lauren. People can change."
She laughed sardonically. "You really believe that?"
Nodding his head, he said, "You should, too."
She shook her head. "It's a nice fairy tale."
"Give them a chance. Tell them you want to see them," Kyle urged.
She sighed as she walked over to the table and picked up her coat. "It must be time for dinner," she said, moving toward the door.
"You need to try again. You owe it to yourself and-"
She cut him off before he could finish. "We'd better get back to the house. Kristen will wonder where I am."
* * *
Kyle pushed his plate away and stared at Lauren sitting across from him at the antique table. Although she smiled pleasantly and engaged in small talk with his family, he knew it was just a front. All during dinner, he watched as she picked at her food and twisted her fork without so much as taking a bite.
"Did you see my new earring, Kyle? This makes ten," Zoey said, pulling at her gold clad earlobe.
Groaning, Kyle inspected the stud his sister had added to her collection. "At least it goes with all the colors of your hair, Zoe."
She waved him off and huffed. "I should have known you'd have no taste in fashion. You like it Lauren, don't you?"
"Uh, sure. Very nice," Lauren complimented. She looked at Kyle and shrugged.
Turning her attention to Judy, Zoey added with excitement, "Bruce says he's gonna get me one for my nose and my belly button for Christmas."
Kyle darted a glance over at his father, who sat at the head of the mahogany table with his arms knotted across his chest and his eyebrows raised as high as his skin could stretch. Patience and tolerance were Will Preston's strong suits, but Kyle could tell his father was just about ready to blow his gourd.
"How, ah, nice, Bruce," Judy replied with forced graciousness. "Very...thoughtful."
Zoey smiled at Kyle, then leaned into her boyfriend, who had yet to crack a smile or say one word during dinner, and snaked her arm around his waist.
It made Bruce blush.
It made Kyle nauseous.
"How wonderful. And this you do...why?" Kyle finally asked because no one else dared.
"Oh, I can't talk to you, Kyle." Zoey stood up and started to clear the dirty dishes from the table. "Mom, is it okay if me and Bruce skip dessert? We're gonna catch an early movie."
"Sure, just be home by nine."
"How about eleven," Zoey bargained. "The movie gets out at nine and we thought we'd get a pizza or something-"
"You've got school tomorrow," Will said firmly. "Be home by nine-thirty."
"Awe, Dad. Ten-thirty."
"You're sixteen years old, young lady. The curfew still stands."
"Me and Max will hunt you down," Kyle cut in teasingly. Although he smiled, he kept his eyes fixed on Bruce. What his sister ever saw in this guy, or the portfolio of tattoos he displayed, was beyond him. The best thing he could say about them dating was that their hair colors matched.
"Stay out of this, Kyle," Zoey shot back.
Being the peacemaker of the family, Judy clapped her hands together and cut in with her usual flair, before WW3 erupted.
"I have a cheesecake for dessert. I hope everyone left room for some," she said. Lauren stood up and started helping, but Judy held up her hand. "No, no. You just sit here and relax. I can take care of it. Zoey, will you help me with the coffee before you leave?"
The little ones excused themselves and scooted into the family room to watch a video.
Bruce bounded from the table and exited the room with Zoey. Both Kyle and Will dropped their heads forward in disgust.
"I don't know what the heck I'm going to do with that one." Will rubbed his face with both his hands and looked up at the ceiling. "Please, Lord, tell me she'll outgrow him."
Zoey swung through the doorway, her Army coat draped over one hand, a tray with plates topped with cheesecake in the other. She deposited the tray on the center of the table and rushed to kiss Will on the cheek. "See you, Dad."
"Remember what I said. Nine-thirty on the nose." She rushed out of the dining room and he added under his breath, "Or I'll take Max and hunt you down."
Kyle chuckled and looked across the table at Lauren. She shifted nervously in her seat, seemingly uncomfortable with the conversation. He wondered if she was thinking of herself at that age. Of her own parents' disapproval. Hard as he tried, he couldn't imagine her dating someone even remotely like Bruce.
A scuffling noise erupted from the kitchen that sounded like scratching paws on the tile floor. He heard the familiar bark. "Oh, no," Kyle groaned as he bolted to a stand.
"Whoa! Incoming!" Zoey called from the other room.
"Kyle Preston!" Judy screamed.
As if on cue, Will dove to the center of the table and grabbed the cheesecake tray just as Max pounced into the dining room. Kyle chased the dog around the table unsuccessfully until the animal lunged on top of the table, sniffing and slobbering for tidbits. Lauren jumped from her seat and stepped away from the table, her hand to her chest.
"I got him, Ma," Kyle said to Judy when she appeared in the doorway, hands on hips and scowling. To Lauren he said, "In case you were still wondering, this is what happened on Thanksgiving."
Judy's lips were tight. "Except that time this...this..."
"Max," Kyle offered.
"This animal got away with the turkey and dragged it through my house." Her nostrils flared with anger.
Will cleared his throat and eyed Kyle in a message that said he'd better take care of Max before the woman of the house blew her lid.
"Come on, boy." Kyle clutched the dog by the chewed leash and yanked, while Max continued to sniff for leftovers on the floor. When he got to the doorway, Judy glared at him and stepped back to let them pass. Kyle shrugged and said quietly, "Sorry, Ma."
"Oh, go. I swear, Kyle Preston, you get worse as you get older. You don't have to take in every stray that wags its tail on your doorstep," he heard his mother say as the kitchen door slammed shut.
As he crossed the driveway, he saw the red taillights of a car exiting the driveway. "I hope she knows what she is doing, Max," he said to the dog. Max whined, pulling away until Kyle ground his feet in to keep standing.
He let the dog pull him to the back of the carriage house and noticed the frayed end of the leash where Max had broken free. "Looks like I'm going shopping first thing in the morning for a strong chain," he muttered to himself.
He deposited the dog in his apartment, saying a silent prayer that his home would remain in relative
order while he was gone.
Pushing the kitchen door of his parents' home closed, he heard the sound of laughter spilling from the dining-room. Lauren's laughter. God, what a beautiful sound. "He was a lot of trouble? I can't imagine it." Lauren's wide eyes twinkled with delight as she watched him sink into the dining room chair.
"Don't let him fool you. Kyle wrote the book on trouble." Judy handed him a plate full of cheesecake. But given the current topic of conversation, he didn't feel much like eating. "Kyle and Chas, I should say. The two of them were notorious for getting into everything."
"Really?" Lauren stared at Kyle in disbelief. Well, he never meant to paint himself as anything other than what he was, but he didn't go broadcasting his youthful indiscretions.
"There was the time you and Chas rolled that gigantic tractor tire down Main Street and wedged it in front of the Town Hall doors. I still can't believe no one saw you two do that," Will said, shaking his head.
"Or," Judy eyed Kyle, this time with affection, "the time you two borrowed Mr. Marsh's horse and strung it up on the water tower for the whole town to see."
Lauren's eyes flew open. "You put a horse on a tower?" she gasped.
Kyle shrugged uneasily. "It was a life-size plastic horse from the dairy over on Mill Brook Road. You know the one displayed at the front gate?"
Lauren nodded. "Oh, my word. How did you get that thing up the tower?"
"He used the Romex wire from my van." Will chuckled. "I got to Mrs. McAffree's house bright and early the next morning to re-wire her house with no wire for the job. And of course, there was the time-"
Kyle cleared his throat and extended his cup. "How about some coffee, Ma?" he asked as Judy refilled Lauren's cup. She turned and filled the cup he held out to her.
"Speaking of Chas, he called earlier today when you were out," Judy said. "Seems he and Kim are coming back to Palmer. Things didn't work out like he'd planned in New Jersey so they decided to come back here before Kim has the baby."
"Really?" he answered. "That's too bad. It’ll be good to see him again, though."
"I invited him Christmas Eve. You and Kristen are welcome, too, Lauren. Unless, of course, you'll be with your family."
Lauren's spirit plummeted.
"Great idea," Kyle broke in before she could answer. "What do you say?"
"Well, I, ah..." she stammered.
"No need to decide right now. You let Kyle know. He'll be ho-hoing for the kids again this year."
Kyle half grinned. "Max can be my reindeer." "He'll be no such thing. That dog is so far from my good graces, I don't want him in my house."
Kristen and Julie ran into the room with Scotty on their tails. "He wants to shoot us!" Kristen screamed.
"Yeah! With the gun!" Julie confirmed. Then the girls giggled as they climbed into their mothers' arms.
"Scott William Preston," Will scolded as the little boy ran around the dining room table sporting a plastic gun loaded with a sponge torpedo on the end. "You know better than to scare the girls."
When Scotty ran around the table, Kyle hooked him with his arm and reeled him in, tickling him on his lap.
Lauren chuckled softly, her head still spinning from the chatter during dinner, trying to keep track of all the conversations going on at once. It was a crazy arena. Being an only child, it was something she never understood. She marveled that no one else here seemed to have any trouble keeping it all straight. But then again, it was probably second nature to them.
Watching the commotion around her, she noticed how Kristen interacted and thrived among Kyle's family. The outgoing personality and confidence her daughter displayed both filled her with pride and stabbed at her heart.
Involuntarily, she clutched her stomach and felt it tighten with the thought of how their lives could have been. If Kristen had been adopted, she would have had a family like this. She would have had Sunday dinners and maybe even sisters and brothers like Julie and Scotty. Had she been selfish to only think of what she was losing by giving Kristen up for adoption? She never once thought of what Kristen would be missing in her life. Never.
And now Kristen wanted a daddy. What else did she want that Lauren couldn't provide?
Everyone around her moved in slow motion. She looked at the faces, smiling, laughing, joking, as if she were in suspended animation. It suddenly seemed surreal.
Someone touched her shoulder and she jumped. Looking up, she peered into Kyle's smiling eyes. The lines she'd seen around his eyes earlier had smoothed. She touched his hand and felt her heart race. It wasn't just Kristen who needed something more in her life. Deep down, Lauren knew she'd gone far too long with unfulfilled need.
And Kyle Preston was just the kind of man to satisfy that need.
A short time later, Lauren thanked Judy for the lovely dinner and sent Kristen up to Julie's room to help clean up the toys.
She waited in the foyer, her wool coat draped over her arm. Kyle leaned against the doorjamb staring at her, looking through her, and making her incredibly nervous.
"What's going on in that head of yours?" he asked.
"I'm not sure I know what you're talking about." She avoided his gaze by looking at the pattern of the marble floor.
He reached forward and brushed his fingers across the hollow of her cheek. But she didn't look at him, couldn't look at him. "Yes you do," he said in a whisper.
"Am I still that predictable?"
"Anything but." The rough timbre of his voice caused her to finally look up at him. He sucked in a deep breath of air, expanding his chest against the cotton shirt he wore.
He was strong, no doubt about it. He had a strength she longed to wrap herself around, but feared like she'd never known fear before. She had the distinct feeling it wouldn't take much for her to tangle herself in his hold. He bent his head closer to hers and said, "I can't figure you out."
"I'm...not all that complicated."
He chuckled softly. "You look at me like you do, but you don't want to get involved," he said as he cupped both of her cheeks in his palms, forcing her to finally gaze up into his eyes. "That complicates things."
She closed her eyes and swallowed. The startling reality shocked her to her senses. It wasn't fear that seized her, it was desire. And damn, he knew it. "Kyle, please..."
"Look at me."
She didn't move. She heard his shallow breathing echo in her ear louder and stronger than the sounds of laughter upstairs from the children and the clanging of dishes and pans from the kitchen.
"Are you afraid of what you'll see? Of what I'll do?" he murmured when she didn't answer.
No, she thought, I'm afraid of what you'll see written all over my face.
This has to stop. She had to end it right here and now if she had any chance at all of getting away from Kyle Preston and the magnetic hold that was drawing her to him.
She shook her head and his hands fell away from her, leaving her cold. Straightening her spine, she took a stand.
"I'm sorry if I've been sending you mixed signals, but...you're right. I don't want to get involved. I don't intend to start something that I have no intention of finishing."
"No one is defining anything yet. We can take things as fast or as slow as you want."
"I don't want to take things at all."
"I don't understand."
"My daughter is very sensitive. She has hopes for a daddy for Christmas. I can't have men coming into Kristen’s life today, giving her false hopes that they'll be around tomorrow.”
“What makes you think I won’t be around tomorrow?”
She blinked hard. “It's not fair to her."
He looked away as if she'd slapped him. "Are you sure that it's really your daughter you're trying to protect?"
She cleared her throat. "Yes. I hope I've made my position clear."
His jaw squared as his gaze bore into her soul. "Perfectly."
# # #
Chapter Five
Monday morning turned out better than
Kyle had anticipated. After getting too little sleep the night before, he downed a cup of black coffee and made a quick call to the newspaper. Three weeks of ads running in the paper and still no one had claimed ownership of Max. He swung around to the vet to give Max a checkup and make sure he had all the required shots before stopping by the house to do some work.
Inhaling a breath of clean winter air, Kyle looked out to the mountain view in the back of the property. A snowshoe rabbit poked its head out from underneath a broken pine limb before hiding again. Max darted his ears up and wiggled his nose, but couldn't find the little creature before it disappear from sight.
It had been at least a month since he'd been out to the construction site. He'd forgotten just how much he loved this place.
The only thing he didn't like about it was the idea of living here alone. He'd spent too much time bucking family members and rejecting the love that was given him, that when he finally knew it, felt it, he didn't want to give it up.
With thoughts of Lauren, he rubbed his chest where he felt an ache and gazed out at the thick blanket of smooth snow covering the ground. Except for the deer tracks he spotted out back, the whole yard was as smooth as a baby's bottom, thanks to last night’s snowfall. Reaching back, he picked up a piece of scrap wood from the barrel on the cedar deck just off the back of the house and pitched it out to the yard. Max flew from the deck and quickly clambered after it, tramping through the snow like a big floppy slipper, burying himself until he found the scrap.
Scotty and Julie always enjoyed coming out here to sled down the slope out back. Now there was a fresh coat of snow to cut through. Maybe this weekend, he mused.
Kyle let out a shrieking whistle to Max, but was not at all surprised when the dog didn't respond. He chased after the dog, rolling in the snow and getting himself wet in the process, until he got him on the new chain he'd purchased.
After pulling a few logs from the pile out back, he set a fire in the woodstove in the den. Since the house was still unoccupied, there was no sense running the heating system. He'd always used electric space heaters when he was working if it got too cold, but he couldn't use them today for what he planned to do.
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