by April Lust
“You need to let me…let me look after you. Let me help you realize it’s real, that I’m not going away. That you can depend on me,” Evan said, taking the drink from Hannah’s hand and placing it down on the counter next to her.
“How…I don’t even know how to do that,” Hannah whispered, her fingers itching to reach out and take her drink back. She needed something to hold onto. She needed something to touch. A second later, without her brain’s permission, one of her hands moved forward and brushed against Evan’s chest, one, two, three times, as light and soft as a feather.
“I’ll help you,” Evan whispered, leaning in to kiss the top of her head again. “You just relax. You just hand things over to me, and I’ll help you get to where you need to go.”
“How do we start?” Hannah asked breathlessly, finally tilting her head up to stare into Evan’s eyes. God, he was still so perfect. So gorgeous. She pressed her hands harder against his chest, wanting to feel those old muscles against her body again.
“How about a massage?”
Hannah must have looked dubious, because Evan’s expression immediately turned to worry. “No, no, I don’t mean…I’m not trying to fuck you, Hannah,” he rushed to say. “I just want to help you relax.”
She couldn’t help the smile that spread across her face at that. It wasn’t like she’d be opposed to it if he wanted to fuck her. In fact, that honestly sounded like the safest option, the action that would most allow her to turn her brain off and stop overthinking everything. But maybe it was the braver thing, the stronger thing to be touched gently, to be vulnerable and soft. Hannah would give it a shot at least.
“Okay, um, I guess I can lie down on the couch,” Hannah said, quickly walking over to the living room and sitting down. “What next?”
“Take your top off,” Evan directed. “It’s not a sex thing, I promise. I just want to be able to get to touch you more. Bra off, too.”
Hannah blushed but nodded. “I’m gonna just, um, face this way,” Hannah said, turning to face the opposite side of the room so that her back was to Evan. She quickly slipped her cover-up and bathing suit top off, hunching over with her arms crossed to make sure her breasts were covered despite the fact that Evan was on the entirely opposite side of her body.
“Now lay down,” he directed her, and she did as she was told, pressing her face into the throw pillow on top of the couch cushions.
She heard Evan sigh then, long and low and deep. “So exquisite,” he whispered, as if he were admiring a work of art. Hannah felt tingles run down her spine, traveling out to her arms and legs, making all of her tiny little hairs stand up, like they were just begging to be touched and petted and rubbed.
A second later she yelped a little as Evan sat down on top of her, straddling her lower back and ass with his legs. He breathed deeply before placing his hands at the base of her neck, digging his fingers gently into her skin.
“You don’t know how to relax,” Evan said softly before moving his hands to her shoulders and massaging them in slow, deliberate circles. “It’s okay,” he said, dropping his voice to a whisper as he slid his lips along her neck, causing goosebumps to pop up all at once. “It makes sense. You’ve never had the chance to be happy before, so you don’t know how to do it. But I can help you.”
“How do you know?” Hannah whispered, doubt clogging up her chest despite the warmth that she felt at Evan’s words, not to mention the feeling of his breath hitting the back of her neck.
“I know you,” Evan whispered, licking the back of her earlobe, causing her to cry out embarrassingly loudly and smack her palm over her mouth to keep from moaning any louder. “I know what you can do. You’re strong enough to do this.”
“What? To do nothing?” she asked, laughing at the end of her sarcastic question.
But Evan answered her by rolling his fingers deep into the concaves around her collarbone and pressing down until she moaned again. “Yes. I’m serious. What could possibly be harder for you, what could you have less practice at than just…relaxing?” He skimmed his teeth along the skin of Hannah’s neck, teasing it before tending to it with his tongue. “What could be more difficult for you than just trusting me to take care of you? I know, baby. It’s hard. But just give me a chance. I’ll make it worth it.”
Hannah exhaled heavily, trying to get all of her muscles to turn to goo under Evan’s hands. It didn’t exactly work like that. No matter how hard she flexed her fingers and toes and other muscles, she couldn’t get the tension to leave her body. “It’s okay, it’s okay,” Evan was saying behind her, and she exhaled deeply, trying as hard as she could to believe his words.
Evan dragged his nails down her bare back, smoothing over her shoulder blades and following her spinal cord down to the dimples above her clothed bottom. Hannah moaned out softly as he dug his fingers into the base of her spinal column, massaging the outline of her tailbone with the perfect amount of pressure. Next, he pressed the bases of his palms into her back, dragging them up and down her sides until she unclenched her core. “Jesus,” she mumbled under her breath, practically drooling all over the pillow under her head. “Where’d you learn to do this?”
“Took time,” Evan whispered, leaning over her torso again to drag his tongue along her hairline, causing her to cry out embarrassingly sharply and loudly. “Everything takes time. Everything that’s worth it.”
The implication of his words was not lost on her. He was telling her the wait was worth it. They were together now. They’d paid their dues. Maybe he’s right, Hannah let herself think, her inner voice tentative and hesitant. Maybe the universe has seen our hard work and will give us a chance. Maybe the bad times are over. Maybe now I can just relax. Maybe I can be weak.
In the past, Hannah would have considered those thoughts practically blasphemous, as they went against everything she’d taught herself in order to stay alive in a world that was cold and uncaring and cruel. But with Evan’s fingers on her back, digging into her muscles until all of the tension just melted away, she couldn’t fight it anymore. It was too strong, the urge to believe him. She couldn’t do anything but breathe in deep and let hope inside of her.
A few minutes of slow, methodical rubbing later, Evan’s hands traveled back down to her ass, playing with the hem of her bathing suit bottom. Hannah smiled, feeling the area between her legs get a little warm as he stuck his fingers into the back of her bathing suit.
“I thought you said this wasn’t a sex thing,” Hannah said teasingly, unbending her spine again to press her back further into Evan’s touch.
“It’s not,” Evan whispered, wrapping his legs around Hannah’s, letting her ass settle in against his crotch. “Unless you want it to be,” he added before dragging his tongue hotly along the vein in Hannah’s neck.
“Unh!” Hannah cried out, digging her nails into Evan’s thigh and rocking back into his crotch. “Jesus,” she muttered.
“Do you want it to be? Huh, baby?” Evan asked into her ear, his breath hitting all the right spots on her skin. He nibbled a little bit on her earlobe, sucking gently and then harder and harder as Hannah’s breathing changed.
“I think so…” Hannah exhaled heavily, her neck rocking back so that her head lay on Evan’s shoulder.
“I want you to know so, baby,” Evan whispered, lips sliding against the skin immediately behind and under her ear. Hannah squealed a little under her breath, grinding her ass against his crotch just to hold on. “I want you to be desperate for it.”
Hannah moaned a little brokenly and rocked her ass back and forth between Evan’s legs, loving the friction on her own body. “I’m getting there,” she whispered in response.
“Yeah? Let me know when you’ve arrived,” Evan said before biting down on the tip of her ear, pushing his hand around to rake his nails down the front of her body, tickling her bare stomach until she giggled and sighed.
Hannah resisted the urge to wrap her arms around her torso and hide her stomach, which still ha
d leftover fat deposits from her pregnancy even two years later. But she must have become tense anyway despite her lack of motion, as Evan froze and then started tickling her more aggressively a second later, making her stretch her stomach out wider, taking up even more space than before. “I like that,” Evan murmured. “I like feeling that.”
“Are you sure?” Hannah asked, her insecurity clearly audible in her voice, even to herself.
“Beyond sure,” Evan answered, leaning forward to lick the bottom of her neck while his hands stayed on her stomach, dancing along her skin until it flushed pink under his touch. “So fucking gorgeous.”
Hannah sighed in a mixture of relief and disbelief, the weight of her insecurity slinking away and shrinking until she couldn’t detect it in her mind anymore. She rocked her head back harder against Evan’s body, giggling quietly as Evan’s hand came up to stroke over her shoulder and arm.
“You’re amazing. You haven’t—you haven’t changed at all,” she murmured softly. “I thought that I had dreamed you up, you know. That the distance made my heart grow fonder, or whatever, however that saying goes. I thought maybe I just made myself remember things as so good because I could imagine up anything I wanted. But you’re real. It’s real. Oh, oh shit—” Hannah broke off as Evan’s hand traveled in between her legs, petting over her crotch through the fabric of her bathing suit bottom.
“Do I feel real now, baby?” Evan asked. “Huh?” He bit down hard on her ear then, causing her to squeal and squirm against his legs, thrusting back and forth between his body behind her and the empty air in front of her.
“Yes, yes, yes, fuck, yes,” Hannah groaned, bending her neck to one side to give him more space as he explored the area with his tongue. He dragged his teeth along her most sensitive spots, apparently remembering what to do from just one night together almost a year ago. “God, you’re amazing, you’re amazing, you’re so…goddamn it,” Hannah huffed out as Evan sucked a mouthful of skin in between his teeth, pulling it until she whined like a dog begging for a treat.
“Yeah, you like that,” Evan muttered as he pulled off of her neck with a wet popping noise. “You like being marked up, don’t you?”
“Yes, yes, I do, I do,” Hannah rushed to say, bending her neck back to lay her head on his shoulder again, wordlessly begging to be sucked and kissed and bitten some more.
Evan immediately complied, dragging his nails along one side of her neck before grabbing it around the center to hold her head in place while he attacked the other side with his mouth, switching between biting and licking and sucking so rapidly that Hannah couldn’t keep up. But she didn’t care. She just turned her entire body over to Evan’s capable hands, which now moved to her bare breasts, cupping them and squeezing them gently with his long, strong fingers.
“Unh, oh!” she cried out as Evan circled his thumbs over her nipples, making them perk up in excitement.
“Somebody’s having fun,” Evan teased her before leaning in again to suck another hickey into her skin, this time on her shoulder. “Mm, you got such nice fucking tits, baby.”
“Thank you,” Hannah whispered back, arching her back to give him better access to the front side of her body. Her knees were starting to ache at being bent for so long, buried in between the couch cushions, but that wasn’t important now, not when Evan’s hand was slipping down south, petting along her lower stomach. Hannah whined a little in impatience, spreading her legs further apart to encourage him to play with the hot little area in between her thighs. But if he heard her, Evan obviously didn’t pay attention, instead focusing entirely on her stomach, rubbing it so sweetly and so gently that Hannah sighed deeply and felt even more stress and tension abandon her body.
A second later, Evan grunted and suddenly flipped Hannah around to face him, leaning over her to kiss the side of her body. “So beautiful,” he murmured and licked his way up from Hannah’s hipbone to her shoulder and then back down again. He nibbled at Hannah’s belly button, sucking gently but firmly enough to leave a purple mark. He dragged his hands down from the hollow between her breasts to her bathing suit bottom, tugging at the hem so that cool air hit the top of Hannah’s vulva.
“Fuck,” Hannah muttered, her head rocking back on the pillow as she thrust her hips forward, wanting more of Evan’s hands and mouth on her skin. But a moment later he pinned her hips down to the couch, and Hannah gasped in response, loving how it felt to have Evan take control over her body. She wanted him to boss her around, tell her what to do, and she would happily comply. There was something so hot about being controlled, probably because she knew she could trust Evan not to hurt her.
“You going to lay back for me, baby? You going to relax and let me do nice stuff to you?” Evan asked before dragging his tongue down from her breasts to her bellybutton.
Hannah nodded furiously, panting so hard her lungs ached. But she didn’t care. She had never felt this excited and this relaxed at the same time before. Evan leaned over again, keeping one hand on her hip as his other one came up to cup her face.
“I love you,” he whispered, and before the words actually hit Hannah he pressed their lips together, soft and sweet.
She half-sobbed into the kiss, opening her mouth to let his tongue in. She couldn’t help it. She had to deepen the kiss and bring her hand up to press against the back of his head so that there was no space between their faces. Hannah untangled her legs and wrapped them around Evan’s waist, tugging the lower half of his body closer as well. “I—I—baby,” she sighed into the kiss, grabbing his chin to encourage him to kiss her deeply.
“It’s okay,” he murmured back, biting a little at her bottom lip. “You don’t have to say it back yet. I already know.”
“You do?” Hannah asked, her heart stuttering in her chest, stuck somewhere between joy and terror.
“Yeah. Yeah, baby, I do,” Evan said, grinning and bopping her nose with his.
Hannah exhaled, and when her breath left her body it was like some parasite living inside of her had died or gone away, that some chains around her wrists and ankles were released. She felt free. She grinned back at Evan and slammed their mouths together harder than before, pressing their lips and tongues together fiercely.
A second later, Evan’s hand traveled back down her body, petting over her clothed cunt, his fingers pushing at the fabric of her bathing suit so that it traveled up inside her hole. Hannah groaned into Evan’s mouth and pulled harder on his hair. “Please,” she moaned out pathetically.
“Please what?” Evan said, pulling back from her mouth, his exhales ghosting over her face. “What do you want, baby? Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”
“Fingers,” Hannah panted out. Her body just knew what it wanted, without any help from her brain. Her body wanted him, deep inside of her.
Evan immediately grunted and yanked on her bathing suit until it fell down to her ankles, then pressed two of his fingers against her lower lips, spreading them apart and pushing them back together again. Hannah panted hard, sweat collecting under her neck and shoulders as she thrusted her hips forward a little bit, encouraging Evan’s finger to slip down to her hole. “Jesus, yes,” she cried out breathlessly, jerking her hips in little circles as he slipped a fingertip inside of her.
“So wet,” Evan mumbled, bending his head down to lick over her collarbone and the tops of her breasts. “So ready for me, aren’t you?”
Hannah nodded, too lost for air to be able to say anything out loud. She lifted her hips up a little more, encouraging more of his finger inside of her cunt. “Mmmn, mmm, oh,” she said between huge panting breaths as Evan’s other hand began to play with her clit.
“Yeah, so fucking wet and tight around me, baby, fuck,” Evan whispered, his lips ghosting over her neck.
“Oh, yes,” Hannah grunted back, moving her hips up and down in tiny little repetitive circles.
Evan’s finger slipped in deeper, past the first knuckle, while the thumb on his other hand moved in bi
g slow circles over her clit, back and forth, back and forth. “Yes, Jesus, fuck,” Hannah moaned, wiping her sweaty forehead with the back of her hand. Her eyes fell shut, the sensations between her legs getting too strong, overwhelming all of her other senses.
His fingers started up a faster rhythm, fucking her deeper while pressing down on her clit even harder. “So….fucking wet, Jesus, baby, so fucking hot, shit,” Evan mumbled into her mouth, sucking hard on her bottom lip.
Hannah jerked her hips up, matching the rhythm that Evan had set with his hands. “Fuck me harder, fuck me harder,” she whispered, encouraging Evan’s finger to slide in and out faster.