by April Lust
“Shhh,” Aubrey said calmly. “Okay, we’ll go over the list in a minute or two and I’ll help you out. And so what if you don’t have any of those things? You’re actually worried about getting a job? You have a degree and you were practically at the top of your class. You have drive. You have intelligence. You also have a friend with an extra bedroom in her house.”
Amelia blinked at her. “What?”
“If you want to get away from your dad and you don’t want to marry a guy you barely know, you could come and live with me.”
“No, Aubrey, I can’t ask you to--”
“You’re not asking,” Aubrey cut in with a smile. “I’m offering. That’s different. And after the baby is born, you’ll get a job and pitch in. It’s not a big deal.”
Amelia swallowed hard. “You really don’t think I should marry Ethan?”
“What’s his favorite color?”
She frowned slightly. “What?” Why on earth did Aubrey want to know that?
“What’s his favorite band?” her friend pressed.
Amelia thought, but nothing came to mind. “Um, I don’t know.”
“When did he lose his virginity? Does he drink Pepsi or Coke? Can he drive anything but a motorcycle? Does he work as a mechanic because he wants to or because he has to? What else does he want to do with his life?”
“I don’t know!” Amelia exclaimed, wanting the barrage of questions to stop.
“Don’t you think you should before you marry him?” Aubrey asked gently. “I mean, those questions were just off the top of my head, but there are others that are more important. Political views, religious views...I mean for all you know he worships goats or thinks the world is flat.” Aubrey smiled. “Those last two might be a little farfetched, but they’d be good to know.”
“Okay, yeah, probably. It’s just...” Amelia gave a shaky sigh. “I’m just scared because everything was all worked out a few weeks ago. I thought I was getting married and now I’m returning a ring the size of an iceberg. And now he wants to marry me and it seems like it makes sense. I’m just not sure...I’m...”
“Free,” Aubrey finished. “Now you’re free from those obligations.”
“I know,” she answered. “But it doesn’t feel too great. It’s really scary. I’ve always known what was going to happen and how and when it was going to happen, too. This is all so confusing.”
“Amelia, that’s life,” Aubrey said, her voice blunt, but kind. “It’sveryrare that things work out exactly as you planned or as you wanted them to. I can probably count on one hand the number of things that have done that for me. Things fall apart all over the place. It’s scary as hell,” she said with a smile as she squeezed Amelia’s hands in hers. “But it’s beautiful, too. And you can finally have a life of your own if you just reach for it. I’m here to help.”
# # #
“Hey,” Ethan said casually as he walked into the headquarters of The Angel’s Keepers. “What’s going on?”
He hadn’t really expected to find Jimmy, Taylor, and Ryan there. At least, he hadn’t expected to find them working. They were all gathered around the small desk, though, pens in hand and maps spread out. There was a sheet of paper with a long column of numbers pushed slightly to the side. He was surprised to see it bore no red ink. That was the first time he’d seen that in months.
He was also surprised that none of them looked angry with him. Maybe William hadn’t said anything. Ethan shook his head at himself. Jesus, he sounded like a high school kid. If William had said anything, he’d set the rest of them straight. And if they didn’t like it, they could hit the road just like William had.
“Hey,” Ryan said cheerfully. “I’m glad you showed up. I’ve got good news for you, man.”
Ethan’s tense muscles relaxed. “Oh yeah? I could use it.”
“New membership is way up and all the dues are in,” Ryan said with a grin. “I’m thinkin’ we need to figure out a way to celebrate.”
“Cheaply,” Taylor cut in, ever the responsible treasurer. “We need to figure out a way to celebrate as cheaply as possible so we can keep the lights on.”
Ethan grabbed the other chair and pulled it up to the desk, flipping it around and straddling it, resting his arms on the back. “So what’s the deal with all the maps? Plannin’ a ride for the celebration?”
“We’re trying,” Jimmy said. “We wanted to see what you thought first. And there’s also the political situation. We don’t wanna piss Stratton off.”
“Fuck him,” Ryan said. “His bullshit idea about limiting our rides is just an idea right now. Come on, Mr. President, put in your two cents. If we do a ride, where should we go?”
“Cheap,” Taylor reiterated. “Where should we go that’s cheap?”
Ethan eyed the map thoughtfully, skipping over the more expensive places like Vegas. There was no way they could afford those hotel fees. One of the symbols caught his eye suddenly and inspiration struck like a lightning bolt.
“Valley of Fire,” he said, tapping the map. “It’s cheap as hell and we could camp. Nobody will have to buy anything but food.”
Everyone stared at him. No one spoke. He raised an eyebrow.
“What? Are you all too good for it all of a sudden?”
“No,” Jimmy said. “It’s fucking perfect. Why the hell didn’t I think of it?”
“I guess you’re gettin’ old,” Ryan said with a grin.
Jimmy punched him in the ribs. Taylor bent over the column of numbers, ignoring the two of them.
“I’ll see what I can do about a group discount,” he muttered, clearly calculating expenses as he spoke. “I’ll price some stuff for grilling, there shouldn’t be any other fees. If everyone brings a few things....” He scrawled some notes across the expense column. “It’s a rough estimate right now, but it’s doable.”
“We’ll need to get up with Kenny and William,” Jimmy said. “See what they think. I doubt they’ll have a problem with it, but I can--”
“Not William,” Ethan cut in. “Call Kenny for sure, but you don’t have to worry about letting William know.”
That stopped everyone in their tracks. Even Taylor looked up from his calculations, his pencil going still. “What?” he asked.
Ethan decided that the best way to break the news was bluntly. “He said he wants out for a while.”
Jimmy leaned back in surprise as Ryan and Taylor fell totally silent.
“Out for a while?” Ryan repeated after a moment. “What does that mean? For how long?”
“He didn’t say.” Ethan shifted in the chair. There wasn’t any point in hiding it anymore. “He’s pissed off at me.”
“What’d you do?” Ryan demanded.
“I got Amelia Stratton pregnant. He didn’t take the news well.”
“Say what?” Jimmy asked.
Ethan shrugged. “She’s living with me right now, too. And she’ll probably go to the Valley of Fire with us, too. Any problems with it, you need to tell me now, because none of you are gonna treat her like William did and get away with it.”
Taylor rubbed his chin. Jimmy put his papers down. Ryan leaned back in his chair. Ethan watched them.
“Shit,” Ryan finally said. “You couldn’t just take her to dinner or something?”
Ethan laughed. “I did that earlier.”
“You’re playing with fire,” Jimmy said honestly. “But I guess you know that.”
“Yeah,” Ethan acknowledged. “It is what it is, though.”
“And Williamleft over it?” Taylor asked. “Do you think it’s permanent?”
Ethan sighed. “Yeah. He did. I don’t know how permanent it is, but he’s gone for now. The gist of his speech was that he thinks I don’t care about the club anymore. If any of you feel like that, I’d appreciate knowing it now.” He looked around at all of them, bracing himself for whatever came his way.
“I’m gonna go on record and say you’re crazy,” Ryan said after a moment. “But, hey, shit happens
. Maybe she’ll be able to give you some inside information on her nutjob old man and--”
“She’s gonna do what she wants to do,” Ethan interrupted. “I’m not with her because she can help with that. And I want to know that you guys are gonna show her the respect she deserves when I bring her here.”
“Sure thing,” Taylor said. “It’s not her fault that her old man’s a dick.”
The other two nodded as well and Ethan relaxed.
“Thanks,” he said simply.
They went back to the budget and the plans without bringing Amelia up again.
Jimmy hung back once Ryan and Taylor had gone home. He leaned back in his chair, looking at Ethan seriously from across the desk. Ethan wondered if he had objections that he hadn’t wanted to bring up in front of the other two.
“Scale of one to ten, how scared are you that she’s knocked up?” he asked after a moment.
Ethan huffed out a half laugh in a combination of relief and amusement. “Ten’s the highest you’re willing to let this scale go?”
Jimmy smiled. “Yeah, I get that. You know how I was when I found out about Hope.”
Ethan nodded. “You freaked out. And you were married to her mother.” He looked down at the black leather of his boots. They were starting to crack; he’d been meaning to get another pair for a while now, but they were just so damn comfortable that he wasn’t willing to replace them just yet. And now he’d need the money for whatever the hell the baby would need.
“What’s that got to do with it?” Jimmy asked.
“Amelia could just head back to her charmed life any second now,” Ethan said. “I’ve got nothing to keep her with me.”
“How likely do you think that is?” Jimmy asked practically.
Ethan shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I don’t think she would. But how the hell do I really know?”
“How the hell do you ever know?” Jimmy asked logically. “I’m divorced, man. You think I knew Hope and Daisy’s mom was fucking everybody under the sun for three years? You think that piece of paper held her to me?”
“Good point.”
“It probably wouldn’t hurt you to get to know the woman, though,” Jimmy added. “I mean...fuck, this is a little bit crazy.”
“You’re telling me.”
# # #
“Hey, where did Aubrey go?” Ethan asked when he walked back into his house and found only Amelia sitting at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of the tea she’d asked for the last time he’d gone to the store. He’d never been a tea drinker himself, but there was something calming about the scent in the air when she brewed it.
“Oh, I couldn’t convince her to stay,” Amelia said, dunking her tea bag up and down in the steaming water. “She’s crashing in a hotel and then she’s heading back to Texas in the morning. She couldn’t take too much time off of work and flying freaks her out.”
“Short trip,” Ethan commented.
“Good friend,” Amelia countered.
“Yeah, I liked her,” he agreed, opening the refrigerator and pulling a beer out of the back. He twisted the cap off and flicked it into the trashcan. “It’s too bad she doesn’t live closer; it’d be good to have her around more.”
Amelia thought of Aubrey’s offer to let her come and stay with her in Texas. It had been circling in her mind since her friend had left for the hotel. A town where she wasn’t known as a politician’s daughter. Where her father couldn’t watch over her every move. It was an intoxicating thought.
But the thought of being that far from Ethan didn’t seem like fair play. He probably wouldn’t be able to afford a lot of trips down to Texas. And working for starting pay at any job she found wouldn’t give Amelia any extra cash either.
“What?” she asked, getting the sense that Ethan had just asked her something.
“I asked if you’re okay,” he repeated. “You looked kind of down.”
“No, I’m fine.” Silence stretched between them. She rummaged through her mind frantically, looking for something to say to him. It wasn’t like she could tell him that she was thinking about what it would be like to go and live in Texas with Aubrey.
“We’re going to take a ride this weekend,” Ethan said. “We’re planning to camp at the Valley of Fire on Friday and Saturday night.”
“Oh,” Amelia said. She’d be on her own this weekend. She really needed to find a hobby; she was going to atrophy if she had to sit on the couch any longer. “That sounds like it would be fun.”
He smiled, looking relieved. “Good. I’m glad you like the sound of it.”
She blinked up at him. “Wait, I’m invited?”
“Hell yeah, you’re invited,” Ethan said incredulously. “What did you think? That I was just gonna take off and leave you sitting here twiddling your thumbs?”
For some reason, his reaction pissed her off. “How was I supposed to know?” she demanded. “It’s not like I know you! I mean...not really. If you wanted me to go then why not invite me? I’m not exactly a mind reader and I have no idea where I stand in your life!”
Ethan stared at her when she broke off. Where the hell had that outburst come from? “You gonna yell at me every damn time you don’t like how I say what I say?”
“I didn’t yell at you!” Amelia winced when she heard her voice carry through the small room. She hadn’t yelled before, but she was close to it now and she really didn’t even know why. “Why would you just assume that I was assuming the same thing you were?”
“What?”
“You know what I mean! You assumed I knew I was going!”
“Yeah, and what was so wrong with that?”
“There’s nothingwrong with it, but to be perfectly honest, I don’t even know if you want me in the same house, let alone out with your friends! Who, if you’ll remember, seem to hate me!” When he didn’t speak, she crossed her arms. “You don’t have anything to say about that?”
“I was just making sure you were done,” he said. “Okay, yeah. I should have asked you. Sorry.”
His tone was gruff and she wanted to be offended, but she knew that she’d overreacted. “In that case, I’m sorry I yelled at you,” she said stiffly.
He sighed, pushing his hand through his hair. “Jesus, this is exhausting. We don’t know a damn thing about each other,” he said.
Amelia blinked back tears. “No, I guess we really don’t. But I think it’s worth finding out.”
He gave her a short smile. “Yeah,” he said noncommittally.
“Do you want to go to bed?” she asked, suddenly worried. Had she pushed him too far? She hated the fear that lay in her stomach as she stood and reached for him.
He pulled her against him briefly, but then he stepped back. “That sounds good, but I think I’ll just shack up on the couch tonight. The sex just gets in the way. It’s too damn good with you.”
Amelia looked down at the tabletop as he walked out of the room. Everything had been going so well. They’d been so polite to each other since she’d moved in. She bit her lip.
Was polite the same as superficial? If they wanted to get to the real issues, it might be. It didn’t mean that she wanted to repeat the scene they’d just had, but the extreme, unrealistic niceness would have to stop.
As much as Amelia wanted to ask Ethan to come to bed with her, he was more than correct on that score. The sex made it easy to forget that they didn’t know each other very well. She sighed and walked down the hall.
Chapter 22
Amelia
Amelia rested her head against Ethan’s back when he stopped at a red light. The ride to the Valley of Fire was going to be the most physical contact they’d had since Aubrey left.
It had been a rough, awkward week. She wanted to talk to him, but she had no idea what to say. She couldn’t help but wonder if he felt the same way, because he’d been working as much overtime as he could handle, barely managing to stumble into the shower and get clean before he fell asleep on the couch every night.
Rough week or not, she planned to soak up all of the contact that she could while she could. As they sat there, the bike thrumming beneath them, Ethan reached back and squeezed her thigh. Amelia couldn’t hold back a shiver. Maybe he missed touching her as much as she missed touching him? She edged slightly closer, pressing her body against his lean back. She saw his free hand tighten on the handlebar.
The light flicked to green and Ethan eased into traffic again. Amelia went back to wondering if they’d forgotten anything. She’d been shocked at how much stuff Ethan had managed to pack down into the saddlebags and the old tan leather bag that was strapped down behind her. It still didn’t seem like enough to get them through a three-day weekend, though.