Some days, Nabil would turn up on our doorstep at dawn. As soon as Yemma heard his whistle (that was his way of calling me), she’d dunk a crust of hot bread in the plate of olive oil and say: “Here, give this to your friend.” Looking hungry, his smile as wide as his ears, Nabil took it gratefully. He’d ask me for a glass of water to rinse out his mouth because in Sidi Moumen our teeth grated continuously, due to the dust that got everywhere. Then he’d wolf down the hunk of bread before he went to work. Nabil was no poorer than us, far from it. It was just that his bohemian mother was in the habit of sleeping in. She worked so late that getting up early was out of the question. To avoid waking her, he’d sneak out like a thief, on tiptoe. I have no idea how anyone could sleep with the garbage trucks’ morning racket anyway. But around there, everyone got used to everything—to the stench of rotting and death, for instance, which became so familiar and clung to our skin. We couldn’t smell it anymore. And if it were suddenly, magically, to vanish, Sidi Moumen would lose its soul. The air would probably seem bland and insipid; dogs and cats would vanish from the scene, as would the hordes of seagulls that besieged the place, preferring its contaminated, sweltering heat to sea air, its shadowy foragers to fishermen of the deep. Even the old people would be bored if there were no more flies to swat away, or mosquitoes or anything. Can you imagine: Sidi Moumen, stripped bare! Without its wild nights at the dump. Without its campfires, where random musicians, their petrol cans transformed into mandolins, unfurl their laments into a hashishscented sky; and those fields of plastic bags that sing in the wind, while the teasing half-light turns the rubbish dunes into infinite beaches . . .
What? I’m rambling! Well, so what? What else can I do now that I’m consumed with loneliness and, like a strange ghost, skulk around my childhood memories? I’m not ashamed to tell you I was sometimes happy in that hideous squalor, in the filth of that accursed cesspit; yes, I was happy in Sidi Moumen, my home.
4
OF ALL THE Stars of Sidi Moumen, only Fuad was able to go to school, which was a few kilometers from the shantytown. He lived in an outhouse of the mosque where his father performed various duties: muezzin, caretaker, imam, as well as other more unpleasant but no less lucrative chores, such as laying out corpses, exorcizing the possessed (or presumed possessed), or reading the Koran at the cemetery. Fuad lived for only one thing: playing soccer with us, which he was categorically forbidden to do. Yet he was unquestionably a born striker; he alone could make the difference in a big tournament. As soon as he could escape his father’s clutches, he’d be back in the team, and the matches would be unforgettable. But Fuad was forever scanning the sky, because once he’d been caught right in the middle of the dump: from the top of his minaret, the muezzin had spotted him as we waded through the muck after a ball. I can still see Fuad now, petrified, almost fainting, the second the cranky loudspeaker sputtered his name. His father’s voice was unique and impossible to mistake, since we heard it five times a day. A shrill, artificial voice that made you want to do anything except go and pray. I reckon Fuad wet himself, knowing a beating was inescapable. In any case, after that incident, he disappeared from the scene for a long time. He’d been completely banned from going anywhere near us. And even from leaving home, except to go to school. We’d sometimes see him in the morning, his satchel on his back, being dragged along by his uncle like a condemned man to the scaffold. He’d shoot us a sideways glance, enviously, sending subtle signals to find out the results of the matches we were playing without him. If his uncle noticed, a vengeful slap would fall like lightning on his face. He’d growl at him, calling us every name under the sun. Under normal circumstances, a stone would have been sent flying through the air toward that creep. Hamid was a mean shot with his catapult. But he held off, so as not to make more trouble for Fuad.
So several months went by and the Stars were a bit lackluster. We continued with our brutal confrontations every Sunday, and the rest of the week we’d all go back to our normal lives. Nabil had joined the team and was doing pretty well. He’d finally built his shack, a humbler construction than originally planned, but we’d gotten used to it, since it was now our headquarters. All the Stars would meet there to work out match tactics. Nabil was happy he’d left his family home, though his mother still visited several times a week. She’d bring him a basket crammed with food that we’d all feast on. She wouldn’t stay long, since she knew her presence embarrassed him, especially if we were there. My brother Hamid had graciously donated a paraffin lamp and a radio-cassette player he’d unearthed in almost working order. We’d had it repaired for next to nothing, polished it, and placed it on an upturned crate in the middle of the room. What nights we’d spend in that shack, all huddled together, listening to Berber songs from the Middle Atlas and the furious rhythms of Nass el Ghiwane. Smoking spliffs, dreaming up fantastic stories . . .
To our great joy, one fine Sunday in July, we spied Fuad on top of a mound of garbage in his soccer getup—meaning bare-chested, wearing plastic sandals—waving his bony arms: he was back, with no explanation, to reclaim his place as center forward, which no one was in any position to contest. It was only a week later that we found out about his father, who’d been struck down by a stroke that paralyzed his left side, invading his face to the point that he couldn’t speak—which is unfortunate for a muezzin. Fuad’s uncle had taken over the role straightaway. As the eldest male, Fuad quite naturally became head of the family. He wasn’t yet fourteen. But being head had significant advantages: he immediately stopped school, had a mobile stall built, and began to sell cakes made by his mother and his sister, Ghizlane. He’d grown up overnight, though his puny body hadn’t followed suit. Not much taller than a twelve-year-old, he had thin, bandy legs and an angular face that was swallowed up by his African features, and he always wore the somber expression of those who are born to be unhappy. Despite that, on a soccer field, it was as if no one else existed. We were proud to count him one of us. He and I were the pillars of the team; our combined talents warranted its glittering name.
We had many rivals; every slum had a team. The “Chichane” (which means Chechnya) shantytown had its Lions; “Tqalia” (guts) its Eagles; “Toma”—named after a Frenchwoman who was said to have had coffee there once—had its Tomahawks; scariest of all were the players from the village of stones: the Serpents of Douar Lahjar, the only ones who had a hope against us. On Sundays we’d assemble at the dump for legendary matches that would usually end in gladiatorial combat: ruthless fights that left everyone pretty mashed up. Still, we couldn’t stop ourselves going back for more the following week. We needed to square up to each other, smash a ball, or someone’s face. It gave us relief. Truth to tell, my brother Hamid was often waiting nearby. He’d protect me with a bicycle chain he wore as a belt, which he’d whip out in a flash if there was any trouble. If it did kick off, I’d hide behind him and nothing bad could happen to me; I’d emerge unscathed, apart from a few scratches or a black eye at worst. Hamid used to collect scars on my account, because other boys were frustrated and jealous of the way I played. My genius for stopping impossible balls earned me thundering applause. Countless Serpents, Eagles, and Tomahawks wanted me dead. Poor Fuad, though, had no one to defend him; he had nothing but his legs. He’d often get caught and seriously beaten up. Like Hamid, he’d amassed an impressive number of injuries. What he was most afraid of was the inevitable visit to the barber, who doubled as a bonesetter. That man was a nasty piece of work, who’d reset our bones with brute force. It was his way of punishing us. Most of the time we’d lose consciousness at some point. We could have wreaked revenge on that wild-eyed maniac, but we knew that sooner or later we’d be back in his dreaded grip . . . One day his shop was burnt to the ground; the culprit was never caught. Still, in Sidi Moumen, a hovel in flames isn’t exactly the end of the world. It gets rebuilt the same day and people rally round, offering the victim mats, blankets, clothes, and stuff for the kitchen. And life carries on as normal.
; The only deliberate fire I was lucky enough to witness from beginning to end was the police-station fire. After the police had left a young dealer for dead, the decision was unanimous. Boys brought gas cans and set fire to the building. They were raging against “the Doberman,” a corrupt detective, a brute, a piece of filth washed up among us, who bullied people and sucked their blood. That scumbag lorded it over the anthill of small-time dealers and other thieves who made their living in Sidi Moumen. No van filled with hashish or smuggled goods could get inside the wall without his taking a cut. He also had an efficient network of informers, so nothing escaped him. He knew the innards of all the shacks and had detailed files on all of us. If some poor wretch attempted to complain, he’d confront him with the crimes of his closest friends or family, because most of Sidi Moumen’s inhabitants have skeletons in their cupboards. As the years went by, people’s resentment grew fiercer, swelling like the waters of a stream about to burst its banks. So, that night, in a surge of anger, the street caught fire like a powder keg. Omar the coalman’s son had got hold of the gas and the mob made its way to the police station, with Hamid my brother at its head: a procession of flaming torches snaked from the dump, chanting murderous threats, fulminating against “the Doberman.” Luckily for him, the creep was somewhere else and escaped the conflagration, which we danced round like demons in a trance. Some boys threw stones or spat blasphemies into the air, while others pulled out their dicks and pissed at the flames; the spectacle was never to be forgotten. The caretaker was spared, because he was a local kid. All the same, he was stripped naked and his uniform suspended from a stick, which we hoisted like a macabre flag, uttering cries of victory before flinging it on the fire. If he’d been there, “the Doberman” would have been lynched. We’d have ripped his stinking fat belly to shreds. We’d have smashed the jaw that spewed such bullshit, releasing the aggression built up over a decade. Still, the outcome was decisive, since we never saw that bastard’s sinister face again. Or, in fact, any uniforms at all. The police station never got rebuilt and no one was too bothered. From then on, differences between people were resolved either through the elders’ mediation or by a fistfight at the dump. And by and large, life in Sidi Moumen picked up and carried on its own sweet way.
5
CONTRARY TO APPEARANCES, Ali was white. Like his coalman father, he couldn’t get rid of the dark complexion that went with the job. He’d grown used to it, and to the nickname “Blackie” he’d been saddled with from a young age—unjustly, given that he was only intermittently black. On Fridays, when he left the hammam, he’d cover up his temporary natural color, which he found almost shameful, since many people didn’t recognize him. Of all my friends, Ali was Yemma’s favorite—and for good reason. He’d hardly ever come round empty-handed: he always had a small bag of coal he’d swipe from the shop, claiming it was a present from his father. Which was a lie as fat as a watermelon. Knowing Omar the coalman, it was unlikely that that skinflint would do anyone a favor. He spent his life cloistered in his little booth, his shoulder bag tucked under an unflinching arm, guarding his stash in the hollow of a damp, hot armpit. You scarcely knew he was there, so completely had he merged with the mountain of coal over which he reigned, a true king of the fire, as he was called. And don’t imagine for a moment he’d add a little extra when it came to the weighing, as shopkeepers normally do. Omar monitored the balance of the scales as if he were selling gold nuggets. But people didn’t hold it against him, and many found it funny. In any case, they didn’t have much choice, since His Majesty was the only coal merchant in Sidi Moumen.
His son Ali was the bane of his life—a gaping wound he cursed morning and night. In his eyes, that spendthrift was only out to squander the family assets and had no other interests besides squelching around in the mud behind a ball. And he never missed a chance to tell him so. Yet Ali didn’t suffer too much because, in time, he’d become used to his father’s bombast; he no longer even heard him grumbling or endlessly lamenting his fate. Ali would slave from dawn till dusk, in silence, lifting twenty-kilo sacks, bringing meals from home, washing the dishes, scrubbing down the shop front, and performing a whole series of backbreaking jobs. He’d barely stop for breath before he had to jump up for the next chore. His only moments of respite were at prayer times, when his father would go to the mosque: a good half hour, during which Ali hurriedly did his deals on the side, thus ensuring he had his daily pocket money. There were good days and bad days, but on average he’d get together about five dirhams, which earned him kudos in our group. Not counting my brother Hamid, he was the richest of us all. And the most generous, since his contribution to the team’s coffers far outstripped ours. Omar the coalman’s only means of controlling his son was to check the shopping of the people he passed in the street. If, unhappily, he spotted coal in someone’s basket, he’d rush to check the books. At the least suspicion of theft, the situation took a dramatic turn: grabbing the braided ox’s tail he used as a whip, he’d douse it in a bucket of water and crack it, ramping up the terror endured by Ali, who’d be crouching and shielding his face. He’d thrash him with all his might, until he drew blood. As a result, Ali would take serious precautions before doing any fiddling, making sure, for example, that a customer was going in the opposite direction from the mosque, or selling the coal half price to an accomplice. And if there’d been no customers while he was away, Omar would deliver a violent slap . . . just in case. Ali had adapted to this too, developing a surprising technique for evading slaps while seeming to take them: anticipating the hand’s trajectory, he’d sink his neck between his shoulders at the crucial moment, letting out a yelp like a dog whose tail has been trodden on. Eventually, like many of us, he’d gotten used to these blows. Now they were part and parcel of his life—like the bitterness of humiliation, the ugliness that pressed in on us from all sides, and the cursed fate that had delivered us, bound hand and foot, to this nameless rubble.
When he came over to our place, Ali would insist Yemma let him light the fire. Like a real magician, he’d place an oil-soaked rag on top of a pyramid of coal and, in next to no time, the brazier was aflame. Yemma would sing his praises, telling me: “You should be more like your friend, look how talented he is!” Then she’d offer us mint tea and those biscuits made with salty butter that we loved so much. Though she could seem blunt, and sometimes obdurate, Yemma had a big heart. She seemed to be carrying all of Sidi Moumen’s distress on her shoulders. Never one to refuse food to a hungry friend, she’d always find him a little something: a bit of bread soaked in puréed broad beans, a bowl of soup, a hard-boiled egg, or anything else she could lay her hands on.
Yemma showed Ali such tenderness I’d sometimes be jealous, especially when I caught her stroking his hair or whispering in his ear. Also, she’d mischievously call him Yussef, which was not his name. Ali’s face would instantly turn crimson and he’d look down to hide his eyes, which were filled with tears. I’d watch the two of them stupidly, unable to make sense of their closeness. It was a long time before I discovered the secret of the painful story that made Yemma’s heart bleed. She revealed it to me one morning to console me after Ali and I had argued. I’d come home annoyed, and had lain down on a mat, not saying a word. Sitting in the yard, her legs either side of a small table heaped with lentils she was sifting through, Yemma gave me a quick glance. That was enough for her to read my mood.
“Come here, my son, bring me your eyes, I can’t see these damned stones anymore.”
I sat down beside her and began picking over the lentils too.
“You look so sad, what’s happened?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on now, tell your old mother what’s bothering you.”
“It doesn’t matter. I had a fight with Ali.”
“Over nothing, I imagine!”
I kept quiet. Yemma paused before going on:
“Still, he’s a good boy. He isn’t bad.”
Then, fixing her attention on the pulses, she s
aid in a hushed voice, as if fearing she’d be overheard: “You should be kind to him. That boy hasn’t had much luck.”
I looked at her in astonishment.
“You know many round here who have?”
She smiled.
“But he’s definitely had less luck than others. I’m going to tell you his story, but first you have to promise me you won’t repeat it . . . even though it’s no secret to anyone!”
“Well, it is to me.”
Horses of God Page 2