by Henry, Max
“I don’t want to be like her,” I admit. “And if I’d stayed, done what I was supposed to and been a good girl for her, then I’m scared that’s what I would have been.”
He sets a hand on my back, warm between my shoulders. “You’d never be her. It’s not in your nature to be that cold and ruthless.” A small chuckle escapes. “Don’t tell anyone I said that.”
I laugh also. If only he knew. “It does make me wonder, though.”
Dad smiles. “What?”
“Why the hell did you marry her?”
His shoulders rise on a deep breath, chin lifting as he returns to staring down the driveway at nothing in particular. “I thought I could change her.” He hesitates, rubbing his lips together. “Underneath all that peacocking your mother does is a genuine woman. But she’s smothered that girl so deep under silk and twenty-four karat gold that even she struggles to find her.”
I drop my gaze to the ground and sigh.
“I tried,” he explains. “More than I should have before I realised that some people don’t want to change. A life of privilege is what she wants, and what your mother wants, she gets.”
“Perhaps Mum won’t challenge for custody, then,” I muse.
Dad frowns “Why’s that?”
I scoff. “Because I’m not something she wants anymore.”
TUCK
“What’s this all about?” Ed emerges around the end of the stable building, chin high as he assesses our group.
“Come join in,” I say, gesturing to a space beside Beau. “We’re discussing plans for the weekend.”
He thumbs over his shoulder as he walks. “I wondered where the hell you guys were. Johnson left, crapping on about some shit he had to do.”
“Like Amber,” Mandy mutters under her breath.
Cate smiles.
“What’s the hot topic, then?” Ed clambers over the back of the repositioned bench seat and drops down beside Beau. “What are we up to Saturday?”
“Hunting,” Beau answers with a straight face.
Mandy snorts.
“What’s funny?” Ed frowns.
I roll my eyes. “We’re heading into Riverbourne.”
He looks at each of us in turn, finally settling back on me. “Again? Why?”
“Because I have unfinished business,” Mandy says. “And so does Tuck.”
“Like what?”
“Tuck wants to visit Lacey,” Mandy explains, “and I want to clear misconceptions up with Richard.”
Ed stares at Cate. “How are you involved?”
She glances at Beau and me, and then Mandy. “Would you rather I wasn’t?”
“You do what you want, bud,” Mandy encourages, knocking their shoulders together.
“In that case, I just want to help,” Cate answers Ed.
“Cool.” He turns the corners of his mouth down, eyebrows high. “Can I help too?”
“It means that you’ll probably be in Johnson’s bad books,” I clarify. “You good with that?”
Ed shrugs. “No skin off my nose.”
“Good.” I turn back to our group and pick up where we left off. “Where exactly does Richard stand on all of this?” I ask Mandy. “He seemed pretty calm about the whole deal when you spoke with him alone, but then he flipped his shit at the party.”
Mandy nods. “Because I didn’t give a name when I spoke to him about what happened. I just told him it wasn’t one of you guys; it was somebody from Riverbourne.” She briefly tips her head to the side, mouth twisted. “He sees the truth differently to me, and that’s what I need to clear up.”
“How different, exactly?” Ed asks.
“Well,” she starts. “Until Richard knew Colt was to blame, he wanted to keep up the lie: I cheated on him. Which makes me think he assumed I meant Christian.”
“Weird,” Ed muses.
“Right?” Mandy tosses her hands. “Even though Richard thought what happened was wrong, he chose to bury the truth to save face—just like his friends did. Christian and Colt knew who was to blame for Richard and me breaking it off, and yet they were happy for everyone to believe it was one of you guys.” She shakes her head, looking at each of us. “I want to stand up for the girls who really are taken against their will because I’m damn sure there’s a few of them in that fucked-up social circle.
“What do you mean ‘really are’?” Cate interjects. “Are you saying you weren’t?”
“I don’t know anymore.” Mandy sighs, taking stock of our confused expressions. “I never once said no when he lay down with me.”
“You weren’t in a position to,” I argue.
“True. But Colt wasn’t in the right frame of mind either.” She sighs again, seeming to struggle with the right words. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I never said anything about what he did because then everyone would find out the whole sordid story. I was ashamed, and I wanted to be left alone.” She lifts a hand to shush Cate. “Ashamed because we both made a huge error in judgement. I actually wonder if it wouldn’t have happened at all if he were sober. Same as if I was.”
“I can’t believe you’re defending him,” Cate whispers. “He took advantage of you.”
“But I let him,” Mandy snaps. “That’s the thing. Look. That night is a messy, murky memory for both of us. What he said after was wrong. He took advantage of how he found me, but if I’m wholly honest with myself, at the time, I didn’t care if he did.” Her chin dips, dark strands of hair hiding her face. “It’s complicated, and I’m scared if you guys drag it to the surface again, I’m going to find out something about myself I wish I didn’t know.”
Ed sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re skewing the story, Mandy. It’s normal for victims to find it easier to blame themselves.”
“I’m not skewing anything,” she growls. “I’m trying to tell you idiots what’s been bothering me. No, Colt shouldn’t have come on to me when I was blind drunk, and no, he shouldn’t have slept with me. But don’t you think I should have pushed him off when I realised it wasn’t Richard? I should have said no, and fought back? I didn’t, and that’s what worries me.” She swallows. “What if I wanted him too? How can I let people label him as something he might not be?”
Our circle sits in silence while the new information sinks in. Mandy dropped a bomb on the whole backbone of our vendetta this past year and blew it to shit.
I scrub a hand over my face and sigh. “I don’t know. You’re talking about a big what if. Only you two truly know what happened that night. But neither of you can say for sure what went down.”
She surveys the group, head down and unsure. “I’m sorry. Okay?”
“You don’t have to apologise,” Beau assures her.
“Yeah.” Cate takes her by the arm. “We’re hardly going to disown you because you did something you regret.”
“Exactly.” Ed leans back, one hand braced to his hip. “What does this mean for your weekend excursion, though, kids? Because from what it sounds like, it’s only Tuck who has any real reason to carry things on in the city.”
I feel the collective weight of the group when they all shift their attention to my corner. “Jesus.” I mutter the word while raking one hand through my hair. “We’re agreed then? This is where it ends.”
Beau, Ed, and Cate all agree with their silence, yet Mandy kicks a boot through the dirt.
“Voice it,” I bark. “Let’s get this squared away now. Today.”
“Don’t you think it feels as though they’re getting off lightly, though?”
“I guess,” Ed murmurs.
“We’ve got an opportunity to walk away from this,” I argue. “How often will that come up if you keep dragging up the past?”
“It’s not the past, though, is it?” Mandy points out. “Not when they’re hell-bent on making it Lacey’s future. Colt’s even.”
“Don’t you want to hand it to them for how they treated your girl?” Ed asks.
“Of course I do.�
�� Why the fuck do I have to justify myself to them? “But I also want to get on with her in peace. I can’t do that if I’m spending half my goddamn time picking fights, can I?”
“I guess.” Mandy shrugs.
“But you don’t agree,” I say in a flat monotone, dragging a hand over my face.
“This hurts my head.” Beau groans, leaning back on his elbows. “Can we run over this one last time to make sure I understand where everyone stands over this shit?”
I drag a stick in the dirt closer with the toe of my boot and then snag it. Drawing a line in the dust at my feet, I prod the left side with the wood. “Let’s start in our own backyard, then.” I draw a J and A. “The incestuous duo are against Colt, right?” I draw a line across to a C that I place at the top of my divisive line.
“Yep,” Mandy agrees. “On their side, he has Richard and Christian against him.”
“Plus Arthur,” Beau adds, reminding me of the revelation last weekend.
I draw an R, C, and A on the right and connect them to Colt’s initial with a line. “Also in the middle is Lacey.” I put an L at the base of the dividing line. “Greer is onside with her.” Adding a circle underneath, I pop a G inside. “But Libby and that other girl—”
“Ingrid,” Mandy fills in.
“—are against her.” I place an L and I under the three Riverbourne boys’ initials and draw a line toward Lacey.
“Johnson and Amber are against her because she supports Colt,” Ed points out.
I place another line from their initials to the L at the bottom of the dividing line.
“And us?” I tap the ground.
“Put us in another standalone circle under Lacey,” Cate instructs, pointing to where Greer remains on her own.
We all stare at the rough diagram. “Shit.”
“There are four groups,” Beau states, “and we’re all bitching over the same siblings.”
“Three, if you stick all the Riverbourne jerks together,” Beau says, gesturing to the two groups on the right.
“So?” I wave the stick over the problem. “What chess piece goes where to solve this?”
Mandy leans forward. “I think if Lacey came back to our side, then things would settle down. Everything sort of shifts forty-five degrees clockwise, then.”
“Someone’s missing,” Cate softly points out.
“Who?” I stare at the initials.
“Dee.”
Nobody has to say a thing; we all feel as shit as each other. “Fuck.” We always forget Dee.
“Stick her on her own under Amber and Johnson,” Mandy says. “She doesn’t like Lacey, but she’ll follow whatever they do.”
I do as I’m told. “That’s going to make Lacey’s transition back to Arcadia harder, isn’t it?”
Mandy nods.
Beau leans in, his left elbow hooked on his bent knee. “Pity we can’t put Amber in Riverbourne.”
“Huh?” Mandy squints at the dirt.
“I’m just saying, if we could flip her over their side of the line, Johnson would come back our way, and I think Dee would bend too if she felt as though she belonged. We could bring the Williams siblings to Arcadia.”
“Dee does belong.” Mandy frowns.
He shakes his head. “Not while Amber’s around. She lives in that psycho’s shadow.”
I chew my bottom lip, moving the initials around in my head. “As crazy as it sounds, that works. Except for one thing.” I circle the three Riverbourne guys. “Amber doesn’t like the city kids.”
“Not yet.” Mandy leans back. “Given a chance, I think she’d find she has quite a bit in common with them.”
“Are you guys nuts?” Cate stands. “You’re talking about moving Amber to a whole new school, almost an hour away.” She seems flustered when we all stare at her. “How do you plan to do that? She’s not some piece of furniture you stick on a truck and be done with.”
“You’re right. She’s not.” Mandy grins. “But if we make her think she’s the solution, she’d probably go willingly.”
“I’m seriously wondering who’s more fucked up now,” Ed muses. “Us or them.”
“I’m not sure anyone can tell after this.”
What the fuck am I considering?
COLT
A shadow falls over my spot in the courtyard; the rejuvenating midday sun interrupted. Head bent over my phone, I twist my neck to stare up at the intrusion on my free time.
Richard. “You need to move.”
I return my focus to the message from Mum and snort. “I could say the same considering you’re causing an eclipse.”
His hand connects roughly with my shoulder, causing my thumb to skid across the screen. A half-finished jibberish message wings its way back to Alicia. Sort that out later. “Do you mind?” I rise from the stone garden wall, pocketing the device as I do.
He scowls, chin high. “The sight of you puts Ingrid off her lunch.”
I lean around the arsehole and spot the girl in question, propped on a marble bench seat with her strapped ankle out to the side. Milking it. “Tell her she’ll need to watch her calories now that she’s not as active, anyway.” I grin. “I’m doing her a favour.”
“You shouldn’t be here anymore,” Richard leers. “You know that, right?”
“In your opinion, sure.” I bite my bottom lip briefly. “But considering my tuition is paid up, and I live within the catchment area, I don’t honestly know what legitimate reason there would be to exclude me from Riverbourne Prep.”
My hands shake in my pockets, my muscles tense for the fight. I hate physical confrontations. They make me feel out of control, but he doesn’t need to see that. I’m no dog. I won’t roll over and show Richard my belly because he bared his teeth.
He scours his gaze the length of me. I’m acutely aware of Ingrid watching me with discord from her shady spot too. All they need is Arthur to complete the trio.
Christian has already made his separate stance clear.
“You may choose to complete your tuition,” Richard growls. “But the credentials will be useless.” He flicks his dark hair away from his eyes. “Nobody wants a rapist on their payroll.”
I resist the urge to clout the prick square in the jaw. “You best be careful labelling me things that are unproven.” I take a step forward, our noses an inch apart. “Or you may find yourself the subject of a defamation case.”
“I’m fucking shaking in my boots,” he leers.
Neither of us backs down.
“Boys!” Greer enters the courtyard, rushing across to set a hand each on our shoulders. “This won’t make things any better.”
“Whose side are you on anyway?” Ingrid calls.
A few previously disinterested students seated in a circle at a table, lift their heads.
Three girls leave.
“Why do I have to take a side?” Greer returns. “I choose to be Switzerland in this damn mess.”
“Decent of you,” Ingrid scathes.
Arthur shoots her a warning glare as he enters the fray. “Leave Greer alone.”
“Why?” The redhead snaps her neck left to right. “She either sits with us, or she doesn’t. And I seem to remember Libby said she wasn’t welcome, so…” She flicks the back of her hand toward Greer. “Go sit with your rapist friend, traitor.”
“For fuck’s sake,” I exclaim. “Who the fuck put you on your high horse?”
Richard shunts me in the shoulder, sending me back a step to regain balance. “Watch how you to talk to your Chosen, commoner.”
“Keep your hands to yourself, and I might think about it.” So that’s how he wants to play?
I’m a commoner now. No longer a part of that rare but idyllic place between the Chosen and bottom feeders, I’m relegated to the working class.
“Rich request coming from a creep who couldn’t do the same,” Richard taunts.
He shouldn’t have done that. I chuckle, bracing myself for the predictable backlash. “Somebody had to give
Mandy what she craved, right?”
I didn’t foresee his initial shoving becoming close-fisted punches. Wow. My head snaps to the right, instant tinnitus screaming in my ear as my jaw shunts to the right also. Fuck, that was solid.
“Richard!” Greer screams. “Stop this rubbish, right now!”
I vaguely make out her uniform blurring between Richard and me as she moves him backward. With a crack of my spine, I straighten again. The impact site on my jaw throbs with each pulse of my heart.
Every ounce of pain was worth it.
I blink a couple of times to steady my vision and glance toward the others. Ingrid grins as though she creams herself at the sight, Arthur frowning while he watches with a strange mix of satisfaction and frustration.
A squeak turns my head left, and what remains of the table circle leaves, uniform skirts bopping like bunny tails with their hastened steps.
We’re alone.
At least, until the faculty arrive.
Do I have long enough? Why the hell not?
“Doesn’t it bother you that your girlfriend didn’t trust in you enough to let you know what happened?” I prod. “Maybe she liked it?” I grin, going for the one-two. “Perhaps Mandy didn’t tell you because she wanted more?”
Richard lunges forward, knocking Greer on her arse in the process. I feel bad about it … for all of a second.
His arms wrap around me, and we crash back into the garden, some spiky fucking native digging its sharp tendrils into my neck and scalp. Hands against his collarbones, I push him off long enough to get a leg between us. He lets out a staggered breath when my knee connects with his gut, leaning back to get his breath.
I take the opportunity for what it is and shove him off the garden bed. His foot catches, his balance lost, and he crashes to his back, head striking the base of the stone bench seat at the vacated table.
Arthur freezes, Greer halfway to her feet with delayed aide. Ingrid stands, taking two steps toward Richard before the evident pain in her foot reminds the idiot she’s injured.
Richard crunches, pulling himself to a seated position. One hand goes to his head.
We collectively hold our breath.