by Erin Osborne
I laugh as he looks from the fallen pair of panties to me and then back again. Knight picks up the plastic knife from the table and removes the panties. Once they’re in the trash can, he sits back down and sets that letter aside. I still can’t stop laughing at the look on his face.
“You got mail too,” Isabella says, dropping an envelope in front of me.
I set it aside, I don’t want to open it in front of anyone because I’m not sure what it’s going to be. I’m not exactly a favorite among the bands female fans right now. So, I don’t worry about it. The guys go through their mail and I laugh at some of the looks they get. I’m sure they have some pretty explicit letters they’re reading and I’d love to see some of them, but it’s not my business.
When I can’t take it anymore, I take my envelope and have Knight let me out of the booth we’re sitting in. As I enter the room we’re sharing, I open the letter and can’t believe my eyes. There’s a picture of me with my eyes gouged out and deep scratches among other parts of my face and body. It’s one of the pictures from the photo shoot we did before the tour and Knight is also in the picture. There’s a heart around his face and I set it aside to pull out the piece of paper.
Cliché as it sounds, the words on the paper are cut out from magazines or something. They’re glued to the paper and are straight to the point: ‘Stay away from Knight. He’s not yours.’ Well, I guess they don’t like that Knight and I are close. I’m close with all the guys, but mainly Knight.
There’s a knock on the door and I struggle to hide the letter and picture from whoever’s on the other side. As soon as it’s in my bag, I open the door and see Diesel standing there.
“You okay?” he asks, walking in and shutting the door behind him.
“Yeah. I’m just gonna lay down for a bit. I have a headache starting and I don’t want it to last all day because I won’t be ready for the show tonight,” I tell him, not lying about it.
“You sure that’s all it is?” he asks, looking around the small room.
“Yeah. I’m gonna take a small nap and I should be fine after that,” I tell him.
Diesel leaves me alone and shuts the door behind him. I’m sure he’ll let Knight and the rest of the guys know what’s going on. Hopefully they’ll leave me alone. As I climb into bed, a tear slips from my eye. How can anyone send me something like that when they don’t know me? Is this what I have to look forward to from now on?
Laying down, I close my eyes after pulling the blankets up over my head. I burrow down under the blankets and wait for sleep to claim me. This is not how I wanted to start my day off.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been asleep, but I wake up and don’t hear the bus moving or anyone on the other side of the door talking or moving about. So, I get out of bed and make my way out the door of our room. There’s no one here. They aren’t standing outside the bus either. What the hell?
So, I shrug my shoulders and make my way back inside the room to grab some clothes and take a shower. Grabbing my phone, I make sure the letter and photo are hidden before I make my way to the bathroom and get in the shower.
After I’m done taking my shower and getting dressed, I make sure my hair is up in a new way I’ve thought about trying. It’s in a ponytail with a braid wrapping around the hair tie to hide it. I then wrap the rest of my hair in a bun and place another small hair tie around the mess. Once that’s complete, I make another braid in my hair and wrap it around the ponytail.
To most women, it may not seem like it’s a big deal to wear my hair like this. However, for me, it is. I’ve always worn my hair down or had a stylist put it in some fancy updo for one of my dad’s parties. This isn’t like anything I’ve ever worn before and I like the way it came out. Especially for my first try.
I spend some time and do my make-up. Today, I go for a smokey eye look with mascara and nothing else on except for some lip gloss in a light pink. Again, not my usual style. But, today I’m not feeling the best and I want to do something different. So, that’s what I’m going to do and I don’t give a shit about what anyone thinks. Including Knight.
Knight is always on my mind. I want to see where we’re gonna go and know what his end game is. I’m sure it’s nothing more than a one-time fuck and then nothing. Even if it messes up the band. That’s probably why he hasn’t tried to have sex with me yet. Or maybe he doesn’t want to take it that far. I don’t know what to think about this shit.
After I take one more look in the mirror, I grab my stuff and make sure there’s nothing left behind from me. I put my things away and store my suitcases back under the bed so there’s a little room to walk in here. At this point, I’m ready to move them into one of the unoccupied bunks and let Isabella have Knight. I’m no one’s plaything and I won’t let anyone treat me that way.
Walking off the bus with my wallet and phone in hand, I see Martin standing next to one of the SUVs smoking a cigarette. I like Martin, he’s sweet and reminds me of what a dad should be. He always greets me and has a smile on his face when I look at him.
“Hey Martin,” I call out a greeting.
“Onyx, how are you?” he asks, stubbing his cigarette out.
“I’m okay. Um, is there any way you can take me to get something to eat?” I ask as my stomach growls it’s approval.
“Sure thing. Where do you want to go?” he asks, running around to the passenger side of the SUV and opening the door for me.
“I want a big, juicy cheeseburger and fries. So wherever you can find that,” I answer.
Martin laughs as he closes my door and goes back to the driver’s side. Once he’s in and we’re fastened in, he takes off. There’s no conversation as he concentrates on the road. I gaze out the window and take in the next small town we’re playing in. Tonight’s venue is actually outside and I can’t wait to see the difference.
“How about this place?” he asks, pulling me out of my head.
I look up and see a burger joint similar to the last one we stopped at. Nodding my head, I wait for Martin to park and come open my door before we head inside. He never stops looking around as I step up to the counter and order a burger, fries, and another chocolate milkshake. Martin laughs because that’s all he’s seen me eat in the two days I’ve been away from the bus.
Once my order is placed, I stand back so the next customer can order and look around the small dining room. In the back corner of the restaurant I see something that shocks the hell out of me. Knight is sitting in a booth across from Isabella. She’s smiling up at him about something and there’s a twinkle in his eye. I may not be able to hear them talking, but the sight alone causes me to gasp in shock. Martin looks in their direction and a look comes over his face. I’m not sure what it means, but when he looks back at me, his eyes and face are soft and full of emotion. He wants to protect me, but I’ve already seen it.
Thankfully, they call my order number and I grab my food. I can’t get out of the place soon enough. Martin rushes after me and opens the door before I can. I hear the other guys calling out my name and don’t bother to look at them or see where they are. I simply don’t care. Martin gets in and heads back to the bus.
“You guys are staying in a hotel tonight. Your room is already booked. I can take you there now if you want,” he tells me.
“Can I just go back and get my bags first please?” I ask him, not wanting to leave the letter on the bus.
“Sure thing.”
Martin lets me have this time to myself. As soon as we pull up to the bus, I hop out and make quick work of grabbing my things so we can head to the hotel. When we get there, I find out I’m supposed to be staying in Knight’s room. That’s not freaking happening after what I just saw. Isabella can join him.
So, Martin stands by my side as I book a separate room and pay for it out of my own pocket. I ask the clerk not to let anyone know where I’m at and that I didn’t check in. She agrees, not fully understanding who I am or why I’d be asking that.
As Martin
and I get to the elevator, someone recognizes me and begins to try to follow me. From somewhere more security gets behind me as I turn to face the young fan. She’s no more than twelve or thirteen years old. I pull my sunglasses up and offer her a genuine smile.
“Onyx, I can’t believe you’re really here,” she gushes.
“Hi honey, how are you?” I ask her as her mother rushes up and offers an apology. “She’s fine.”
“I’m doing good. We’re going to the show tonight,” she again gushes.
“What’s your name?” I ask her.
“It’s Beth. Can I get an autograph?” she asks me shyly.
“Of course. Martin, do we have anything here?” I ask him.
“Let me look,” he says, running to one of the conference rooms.
In the meantime, Beth pulls out her phone so we can take a selfie. I lean down next to her and smile at the phone. She pauses before placing her arm around my shoulders and a large smile takes over her face. By the time we’re done, Martin is back with a tee-shirt and a photo of just me. I sign the photo and then take a different sharpie from him and sign the shirt too.
Once Beth has everything in her hand, she offers me another smile and then leaves with her mother. Martin helps me into the elevator and then takes me up to my room. It’s on the same floor as the guys, but down farther from them. In fact, I lucked out and it’s the exact opposite from Isabella.
So, I head into the room and lock the door behind me. No one will know I’m here because Martin is posted on the floor anyway to make sure no one tries to break into the rooms. Once my bags are set in the bedroom, I go back and open the balcony door and have my phone in my hand. It starts ringing and I look to see Knight’s name on the screen. I hit decline and slide the phone in my back pocket. It immediately starts ringing again and I finally pull it out and then shut it off. I don’t want to talk to him or anyone else.
The rest of the day I spend alone and think about what I’m going to do. I can either suck it up and stay in the band. Or, I can leave the band and move out of Blue Springs altogether. Honestly, I have no ties to the town, so it doesn’t matter to me, but I don’t know if I really want to leave the band without talking to one of the guys about it. Just not Knight.
Martin knocks on the door when it’s time to leave for sound check. I’ve already changed and gotten ready for the night when I exit my room. Thankfully, no one’s in the hallway when I leave so they still don’t know what room I’m in. In fact, it’s just Martin and me until we get down to the lobby where the guys are waiting for me.
They’re surrounded by women and I pass them by to head out to the SUV. Martin opens the door for me and I watch as the rest of the guys load into another SUV behind me. All except for Knight that is. He climbs into the backseat and tries to grab my shoulder from the backseat. I shake his hand off me and lean forward slightly. Martin just shakes his head.
It doesn’t take long to get to the venue. Martin pulls up as close as he can and lets us out. He’s at my back as soon as I exit the SUV and leads us to the small camper we’ll be in until it’s showtime.
“Onyx, what’s wrong?” Knight asks me once we’re in the camper.
“Nothing,” I say, heading toward the bathroom.
I don’t need to do anything in there, but it will buy me some time for a few minutes. At least until the rest of the guys are here and Knight won’t want to talk to me in front of them. That’s my hope at least.
Unfortunately, Knight follows me into the bathroom and shuts the door behind us. I sit down on the closed toilet lid and wait for him to say his peace.
“What’s going on? It’s not like you to be withdrawn like when we first met. Something happened,” Knight says.
“Yeah, it’s been a rough day,” I answer, not giving him more than that.
“What. Happened?” he once again asks, frustration lacing his voice.
“Well, first I get a letter telling me to stay away from you. With a picture of the two of us. My eyes and everything are gouged out and there’s scratches all over my part of the picture with a heart drawn around your head. Then, I wake up alone to find you in a restaurant with Isabella. You two looked really cozy,” I tell him, not keeping the jealousy out of my voice.
“The fuck?” he questions. “Why didn’t you tell anyone about the letter?”
“Because it’s no one’s business,” I answer. “Now, I want to calm down and not talk about this before the show.”
“Why weren’t you in our room at the hotel?” Knight asks, not letting me out just yet.
“Because I’m not sharing a room with you. You want Isabella, I won’t stand in your way.”
I brush past Knight and leave the bathroom. The rest of the guys are standing around the room and I can hear Someday Never Comes on stage. Suddenly, I feel outnumbered and need to get out of here. Especially when I see Isabella smirking at me once again. Yeah, I’m not in the mood to deal with her shit tonight. So, I open the door and see Martin standing there. He leads me away from the crowd so I can get some alone time. No one follows us and I’m grateful for the time alone.
Until it’s time for sound check, I don’t make a move to go back to the camper. Instead, I sit in the field and keep thinking about everything going on in my life now. This is not what I dreamt of when I used to dream of getting away from my dad. Now, I feel almost as if I’ve traded one prison for another. And that’s not what I want to feel at all.
Chapter Twenty
Knight
I DON’T KNOW what the hell is wrong with Onyx, but something definitely is. She’s retreating back into herself and it’s not something I’m gonna let her do. I’ll fight and do whatever I have to in order to keep her from becoming the shell of a person she was when I met her.
Standing outside of the camper, I look in the direction of the field. Onyx is sitting in the middle and not paying attention to anything around her. If Martin weren’t with her, keeping an eye on things, I’d be able to sneak up on her. Anyone would be able to and I know her picture is out there now. We’ve done the first show and people have taken her picture and blasted it all over social media.
Anyone that wants to get to us, or has a thing for Onyx, would be able to get to her in such a vulnerable state right this second, but Martin won’t let anything happen to her. He takes his job seriously and I know he thinks of her as a daughter already. Almost anyone who meets Onyx, except for Isabella and irate fans, falls for her charm, innocence, and the sweet demeanor she couldn’t fake if her life depended on it.
Onyx is a rare and beautiful soul and I am going to do everything in my power to ensure she stays that way. Yes, fame can change a person, and things can get in the way that change a person. But, I have a feeling Onyx has experienced the worst of her life by living with her father and the demands and life he forced on her. That’s not something I’ll allow to continue or let her feel ever again.
“What’s up your ass?” Diesel asks, walking up behind me.
“Nothing. Just want to know what’s going on with Onyx. She’s retreating into herself again and told me there’s no way she’s sharing a room with me, that Isabella has that right and she can take her spot,” I answer him.
“Why would she think that about Isabella?”
“Because I think she saw us at the restaurant earlier for lunch,” I tell him, finally turning to look at my friend.
“Fuck,” he mutters.
“Yeah. My thoughts exactly,” I tell him. “I don’t know how I’m gonna find out what’s going on with her when she doesn’t want to talk to me or have anything to do with me.”
“Let me take care of it,” he says.
I watch as Diesel walks to the field and sit down next to Onyx. If I didn’t know he has a thing for a certain woman we’ve known our entire lives, I’d be jealous as fuck right now. Instead, I watch as Onyx crumples into my best friend and he wraps his arms around her. Even from this distance, I can see her shoulders shaking from her crying and I h
ave to force myself to remain by the camper.
Isabella opens the door and stands staring at me for a minute. I can feel her eyes boring into me. I’m just waiting for her to say one wrong word to me and I’m going to lose my shit on her.
“Knight, what are you doing out here?” she asks, her voice low and husky.
“Leave me alone,” I grunt.
“What’s your problem? You weren’t like this earlier when we were at lunch,” she says, trying to run her hand down my chest.
“I also didn’t think you had some sort of agenda. But I guess we were both wrong. I won’t trust you again,” I tell her.
“I don’t know what the hell I’ve done so wrong to you, but I’m not gonna take this attitude from you anymore,” she says, stepping away from me.
“Good. Find another band to go deal with then. I don’t fucking want you here anymore,” I tell her, never taking my eyes from Diesel and Onyx in the field.
Isabella sees where my eyes are and looks at the two of them. From here, they almost look as if they’re in a romantic encounter. But I know the truth. Diesel is talking to her and he’s going to work his magic to find out what’s going on with her.
“Looks like she’s just going from one of you to the next. Not what you thought, huh Knight,” she says, her voice dripping with jealousy and contempt.
“Don’t you ever fucking say another word about her. Or to her. You’re done as soon as I can make it fucking happen,” I ground out, finally putting my eyes on Isabella as I step in her personal space.
It’s taken way longer than I’d like with Diesel and Onyx in the field. They’ve talked for almost an hour now and I see them standing up to walk this way. There’s a small smile on Onyx’s face but she’s still curled in on herself. This isn’t a good sign. Diesel may know what’s going on with her, but it doesn’t mean that she’s told him everything. Or she’s so haunted it’s going to take more than a conversation to get her to open back up.