by Skyy, Rayven
“I do, don’t I?” I popped my suit collar and flashed a smile.
“Boy, if you ain’t your daddy’s child! Here’s all of me,” she said before she started laughing. “You’re supposed to say thank you, not agree with me.”
I pulled out a chair and sat down at the kitchen table. “Naw, but for real though I went to a funeral today.” I took off my jacket off and then placed it on the back of the chair.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Shawn. Who died?”
“Somebody I grew up with. I don’t think you knew him Aunt Jean.” Big Byrd was laid to rest today. “What are you reading?” She passed me the newspaper.
This shit might as well have been in Japanese, because even in English I still could not read it. I was trying to sound the words out in my head, but that did not work either. If it made the newspaper it has to be something tragic. They never report good shit.
“That’s a damn shame,” I shook my head and then passed the newspaper back to my aunt.
“I don’t know what this world is coming to anytime innocent children are being murdered,” she folded up the paper.
“Only a person with no heart and soul could do something like that.”
“Hold up Aunt Jean, where that happen at?” She unfolded the paper and looked over it again.
“Somewhere over in Opa Locka I think,” she replied passing the newspaper back to me.
“Read to me what it say, Aunt Jean, I forgot my glasses in the car.” I lied.
“Well, wait a minute ‘cause I can‘t see without mine either.” She put her glasses back on. “Donald Heckstall, his wife Sherita Heckstall, along with their two children were found dead in their home early this morning after there were calls from neighbors into the police department with concerns regarding a foul odor. All four victims had been found tied up with rope by their hands and feet and duct-tape had been placed on each of their mouths. The medical examiner speculates that the family had been dead for several days before their bodies were found… ain’t that terrible?” She looked at me and then slammed the newspaper down on the table. “Tied those babies up and stabbed them to death. God,” she looked up at the ceiling, “help your children.”
“Sounds like somebody who just don’t give a fuck to me,” I said. “Watch your mouth, Shawn!” She hit me with the newspaper.
“You want something to eat?”
Aunt Jean did not wait for me to tell her if I wanted something to eat or not. She had a plate in the microwave for me within two minutes. I know she would be so disappointed if she knew that the person with no heart and soul who killed those innocent babies was me.
You see, Donald was another one who seemed to have a problem with change, but it was not as bad as they made it out to be in the newspaper. Well, yeah… I guess it was. Between him and his wife, I might have stabbed both of them maybe twenty times a piece. The kids… five or six times at the most. Just some more behavior modification, and I haven’t had a problem out of anyone else since. Don’t judge me.
The Hole!
A guard came to my cell and told me I needed to come with him. He waited for me to put on my jumpsuit, handcuffed me, and then led me downstairs to an interrogation room where the jail’s Chaplin had been waiting. I could tell by the expression on his face that something was wrong. My heart started to race and I felt a knot forming in the pit of my stomach. The Chaplin told me that I needed to call home, and I had to force myself to dial the number.
My grandma answered the phone, and as soon as she heard my voice she started crying. I had to put the phone down because I already knew what she was about to tell me. When I picked the phone back up my cousin Nikki was on the other end. She told me my granddad had another heart attack a week ago and he passed away in his sleep. Nikki said she had been trying to get in touch with me, and as much as grandma did not want too she had to bury him. I told Nikki to set up an account so that I would be able to call home, and first thing in the morning for her to find me a lawyer here in Virginia. When I got back upstairs, one of the niggas that I shared the cell with was up taking a
piss. The Chaplin asked me if I wanted him to pray with me, and I still haven’t answered him yet.
“Yo man, where you from?” he asked as he turned around.
I ignored him and sat down on my bunk. I was in no mood for small talk. I was thinking about my granddad.
“You nigga,” he said. “I’m talking to yo’ ass mothafucka’.” I saw him walking towards me out the corner of my eyes, but I still didn’t move. “What the fuck are you deaf, nigga?” He was standing over top of me now, so I stood up.
“You need not concern yourself with who the fuck I am.”
“Yeah, well check this out homie,” he sniffed, and then ran his thumb across his nose. “The top bunk ain’t so comfortable, so ‘I’mma’ need you to sleep up there,” he stated nodding his head towards the top bunk, “and I’m gon’ take yo’ bed.”
“Youngster, you don’t want to fuck with me right now. Trust me.”
“I would take all yo’ shit, too, if you had some shit to...”
Before he could get the last syllable out, I gripped him by his neck and pushed him up against the wall. He campaigned for this ass whipping, and he had just been elected. It took three guards to pull me off him, and by the time they did his face was no longer recognizable. I knew what the end result of my actions would be, but in jail you have
to fight first and ask questions later. To tell you the truth I welcomed the hole. A few days of solitude may be what I need, because if another mothafucka’ in here tries me they will be adding murder to my list of charges.
R.I.P.!
Singing…
“When Jesus is my portion... a constant friend is he… His eyes… is on… the sparrow… and I know… he watches me…”
“This now concludes the service for Miss Asia Elizabeth Wright. May her soul forever rest in peace.”
Ghetto Girl!
If ever there was a time I needed Yvette, today was it. I was expecting her to at least come by the hospital after I had the baby, but to my surprise she didn’t.
Today was Asia’s funeral, and had it not been for my cousin Juju I don’t think I would have been able to make it through the service. He seems to be the only one in the family, besides my momma, who is even speaking to me. Juju told me he overheard my sister tell somebody that when she heard Milk and Asia were both shot, she thought I was the one who had shot them.
Granted I was devastated when I found out they had been fucking around behind my back for years. Killing the both of them had crossed my mind, but I never would have acted on it. What I couldn’t figure out was how Rico and Asia ended up at my momma’s house that night anyway, and now that Asia is dead and Rico is nowhere to be found, I guess I will never know.
I moved back into the house Milk and I once shared after I got out of the hospital. I am sure that gave my family something else to talk about, but I don’t care. They have been talking about me for years, so why break the tradition. I couldn’t just turn my back on Milk. He’s Saysha’s father so I feel somewhat obligated to be there for him. It was a good thing Milk had prepared Saysha’s room months ago, or I would not have had anything to bring her home from the hospital in. I had my office turned into a make shift bedroom, so when he came home Milk would not have to go up and down the stairs. Once he is back on his feet, I am going to move to Atlanta like I had originally planned before my world was turned upside down.
After we left the burial ground, as much as I didn’t want too, I went back to my aunt’s house to help serve the food.
“You need any help, Stephanie?” I asked my sister.
“No I got it,” she said never turning around to face me. I sat down at the kitchen table.
“Ms. Judy sung that song today, didn’t she? Doesn’t she go to our church, Stephanie?”
“I wouldn’t know. I haven’t been to Mt. Zion in over five years. I joined Kevin’s church after we got married.�
�� Stephanie still had her back to me.
“Where is Kevin?” I asked her.
“He couldn’t stay. He had to go back to work.” Deshawn, Asia’s son came running in the kitchen.
“Hey Auntie ‘Brina!” He climbed onto my lap.
“Hey Dee-man,” I hugged him, and then kissed him on his cheek. “You need to slow down, okay? It hasn’t been that long since you were in the hospital yourself,” I said, poking him in the stomach.
“Sabrina!” Stephanie turned around.
“What?”
“Deshawn, go play outside with your cousins,” Stephanie fanned him away. She waited until Deshawn was out of sight before she said anything else. “Sabrina, you don’t have to keep reminding Deshawn he was shot. Gosh, the boy just lost his mother.”
“You’re right Stephanie. He did just lose his momma, and I want to make sure we don’t lose him too. Deshawn is still recuperating.” I reached over, opened the refrigerator door, and took out a can of Pepsi.
“Like you really care,” Stephanie mumbled.
“I heard that shit, Stephanie.” I slammed the refrigerator door shut.
“I said it loud enough for you to hear me.”
“You know what,” I got up from the table, “I’m not even going there with you today.” I was about to walk out of the kitchen but then I changed my mind. I had a few things that I needed to get off my chest as far as my sister was concerned. “What have I ever done to you, Stephanie?”
“Sabrina, leave me alone.”
“You act like you hate me.”
“I don’t hate you, Sabrina,” she said as she wiped her hands on the apron she was wearing. “I hate the choices you make.”
“And what choices would that be?” I crossed my arms.
“All that ghetto girl stuff is not necessary,” she said. “You don’t know how to have an adult conversation without the use of your neck?” Ghetto girl? I wrinkled up my face.
“Bitch, aren’t you the same Stephanie that shared a room with me when we lived out Diggs Park until we were grown?”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It has a lot to do with it.” I took a step closer to my sister and then I pointed my finger in her face. “You are from the same fuckin’ ghetto with your stuck up ass.”
“Oh, because I speak correct English and my husband works for his living I’m stuck up? And get your finger out of my face,” she slapped my hand away.
“No bitch, that is not what I am talking about and you know it. Ever since you got with Kevin you think your shit don’t stink. Like you above everybody else.”
“You cannot blame me for what Asia and Milk did,” she replied as she turned her back to me again. I was getting ready to punch her in the back
of her head but my momma just walked into the kitchen.
“Cut it out right now, both of you,” she sternly said, looking back and forth between me and Stephanie.
“Sabrina started it, Mother,” she said before I had a chance to open my mouth.
“I didn’t ask you who started what. My sister had to bury another one of the children today, and the last thing I know she wants to hear is you two going at it. Save some for another day.”
“I’m getting ready to go anyway.” I threw my soda in the trashcan. “Do you want me to take you home, Ma?”
“Mother rode with me today, so I can take her home,” Stephanie said.
“Why, when I’m going right that way?” I squinted my eyes at my sister.
“Neither one of you have to take me home, because I’m staying here,” she said, and then she sat down at the kitchen table. “Saysha can stay here with me tonight since you’re going to the hospital. Sabrina go check on her before you leave.”
“I just did Ma, she’s still asleep.”
“What about your other two grandchildren, Mother, or have you forgotten about them since Sabrina had a baby?”
I don’t know how much stupid juice Stephanie had with her breakfast this morning, but that was the wrong thing to say to Janis Wright. “I didn’t understand you?” momma said with a raised eyebrow. “I know how many grandchildren I have, Stephanie, but what I would like to know is where all this mother shit came from?” Stephanie looked at me as I burst out laughing.
“You are my mother aren’t you?” Uh oh. Her dumb ass just did it again. She is asking for my momma to smack the shit out of her today.
“You must have forgotten the roles, you and I play,” my momma said, pointing at Stephanie with her hands on her hips.
“Why don’t you call Ma, ghetto girl Stephanie?
“Shut the fu- I mean hell up, Sabrina,” she rolled her eyes. I stuck my tongue out at her and made a face just to piss her off more. I was sick of her for one day.
“Kevin must call his momma mother. Is that it?” Even my momma had to laugh.
“Sabrina, you’re the last person who needs to laugh at anything,” my sister said.
“I can laugh at what the hell I want to laugh at,” I put my hands on my hips and stated.
“You weren’t laughing that day at the hospital when you found out about Milk and Asia, now were you?”
“Stephanie!” My momma just shook her head.
That was my queue to leave or else I would have fucked Stephanie up right there in my aunt’s kitchen. I gave up on having a relationship with my sister a long time ago. She doesn’t mean me any good for real. By the time I reached the hospital I had calmed down. When I stepped off the fifth floor elevator I walked over to the nurse’s station to speak to Ms. Vera when I overheard, “I’m here to see Milton Woodhouse.”
“May I have your name please?” Ms. Vera picked up a clipboard.
“Nicole.”
Ms. Vera looked down at the clipboard, and then she looked back up “Nicole who?”
“Nicole Ward.”
Ms, Vera looked down at the clip- board again. “Nicole, I don’t see your name on Milton’s visitor list. Are you immediate family?”
“Just a friend.”
“I’m sorry, sugar,” Ms. Vera said and shook her head. “Immediate family only.”
“Can you at least tell me how he’s doing?”
“May I help you?” I interrupted the conversation. When Nicole turned around I thought was looking in a mirror.
“I don’t know, can you?” she said, looking me up and down.
“I thought I heard you asking about my husband.”
“Milton and I are old friends,” she answered with a smug look on her face. I was about ready to smack it off as much built up rage as I had in me.
“Milton, huh?” I smiled back at her.
“Let me guess, you’re Sabrina?”
I glanced over Nicole’s shoulder at Ms. Vera. “How you doing today, Ms. Vera?” I looked at Nicole. “Thank you for not allowing the groupies in to see Milk.”
“Oh, I’m far from a groupie darling, and from what Milton told me you two are no longer husband and wife.”
“Ladies,” Ms. Vera stood up.
“No its alright, Ms. Vera,” I raised up my hand. “Nicole was just leaving.”
She stared at me for a second and then turned around and walked away. Now, that made two people who almost got fucked up today.
Starting With Sabrina!
“You know you still here by the grace of God, don’t you man?” Dap asked me. “Doctors said if that bullet would’ve hit you an inch to the left, you would have been gon’ away from here.”
“Yeah, I know,” I nodded my head.
“I’m just ready to get the fuck out this hospital.”
“You don’t know who was shooting at y’all, Milk?”
“Man, for real Dap, I think it was some niggas trying to rob me or something. Hell, I don’t know. The shit happened so damn fast, but you can never be too sure. Tell Maine to keep an eye on Sabrina and the baby for me, man.” I tried to sit up. “Ahhhh, shit.” I layed back down.
“You moving too fast Milk,” Dap sa
id as he walked over to my bedside. “You know you like a son to me, and even though I ain’t in the game anymore a mothafucka’ fucking with you is fucking with me.
“Appreciate that, Dap,” I replied, gripping his hand tightly.
“I’ll be back to check on you once I get the shop open.”
“I told you, you ain’t got to come up here every day, Dap.”
I stopped talking when I saw my room door open. “Hey Dap,” Sabrina spoke and then looked over at me.
“Hey baby, how you doing?” Dap kissed Sabrina on her cheek.
“You want me to come back?” Sabrina asked. I turned my head the other way.
“I’ll holla’ atchu’ later Dap.”
Sabrina walked to other the side of the room and put her purse down on the window-pane. “How are you feeling?”
“Where my daughter at?”
“She’s with my momma.” Sabrina sat down in the chair Dap was sitting in.
“What the fuck is she doing there?” I tried to sit up again.
“Milk lay down.” Sabrina walked over and reached out to me. Even though it hurt like hell, I was able to sit up this time.
“Man don’t touch me,” I told her before she had a chance to put her hands on me. “You said you were going to the funeral then back home.”
“My momma wanted to keep her. So, if you have a problem with that call her.” She rolled her eyes at me and then sat back down.
“Where yo’ cell phone at?”
“Milk, you are not really getting ready to call my momma, are you?” I inhaled a deep breath. I was starting to have flashbacks of the pic-tures I had seen in Asia’s camera of Sabrina and Byrd together.
“Girl if you don’t give me yo’ mothafuckin’ phone I’mma’ get up out this be-,” I stated as I shook my head in between breaths.
“Okay, damn!” She walked over to her purse and took out her cell phone. “Here.” I snatched the phone out of her hand.