“It’s pretty cool, you know that right?” She motions her friend closer and they both lean in, crowding me at my little work station. I want to move back but there’s nowhere for me to go so instead I keep my eyes on my notebook and my hair shielding my face. Maybe if I can’t see them they’ll go away so I can write in peace.
“Really super cool that you can make spells work.”
No such luck. I try for an exasperated expression when I look up at her through my hair and tap my pen aggressively on the paper.
“We practice Wicca and we’ve never had any spell we’ve tried work and we’ve tried a bunch. Love spells, too. Some from that book you’ve got. Raven Heart Press, right?”
The strangest sensation rolls over me. “Yeah. They didn’t work for you?”
The girl with her shakes her head like this is a totally normal conversation to have. “We’ve tried that exact spell a million times and nothing. How do you do it? Is there a secret or something?”
A lump the size of one of Ethan’s cookies lodges itself in my throat.
Not only does this girl believe that the spells work, she believes that the spells work because I’m writing them. Is she right?
I blink slowly. She’s waiting for an answer. I force the lump down and it slides like lead to my stomach, plopping there with a weight that I know means something probably bad.
Think logically, Rowan. You’ve seen this before. Maybe not outside of my house, or aside from my mom’s many fans, but I have experienced this kind of delusion before. Stick to the tried and tested defense.
Indulge. Deflect. If possible, escape.
“No secret that I know of. It’s probably just a fluke or something. I should really get back to my work, though. I’ve got a line up.”
Good answer. I’ve indulged. I’ve deflected. Now I need to escape.
“Have you tried any other kinds of spells? Maybe we could show you—”
My phone buzzes with an incoming text. Escape! No matter what this text says, it’s my excuse out of this conversation. I hold my finger up to the girls and turn away so I can check it.
You love reading, right?
Such a simple question, nothing romantic or suggestive about it, and yet I can feel my mood lighten up and all the tension from seconds before evaporates.
Luca doesn’t wait for me to respond.
I’m staring at a copy of Moby Dick and I don’t know if it’s a bad idea to read it. Mr. Thomas says it’s a must read. Top one-hundred must reads or something. I have my doubts. Help?
Where are u?
Behind you, with the books. Lost, lonely, looking for help
I smile and melt all at the same time. “Five-minute break.” I announce to the two witchy girls. “I’ll be back.” I pause, then add, “Don’t follow me.” Because if this is anything like my mom and her fans, they would.
I put my phone in my pocket and slip into the stacks where the fiction section is. I love this part of the library because it’s got comfy couches and beanbag chairs, the lighting is lower and there are little reading lamps here and there. It’s also, usually and sadly, empty.
I barely make it around the first shelving unit when I almost run directly into Luca. Again.
“Hey.” His voice is husky, deep, and quiet. He’s got a book in his hand and he does look a little lost.
“I don’t think you’re going to want to read that one,” I say as I take the book from his hand. Our fingers brush and I feel an electric pulse that makes me want to touch him more. Instead I reach past him and put it back. “It’s about a whale and a whale hunter and it’s not exactly thrilling.”
He grins, brushes his hair out of his face. He’s wearing a blue knit sweater that really brings out his eyes, even in the muted light. Better yet, he’s close enough for me to catch a bit of his spicy scent that makes me want to cuddle with him in one of the beanbag chairs.
Maybe there will be beanbag chairs at Malcolm’s party.
I walk down another aisle, trying to keep Luca from reading my cinnamon roll thoughts. “You like thrillers, right?”
“Yeah.” He’s right behind me, so close that I can feel him there. “What do you like to eat?”
He puts his hand on my lower back. Just a light touch but it’s loaded with sparks that make me shiver. The change of subject surprises me. Not because I’ve forgotten our date but because I’ve been wondering what exactly the night will look like. Will he want to go somewhere fancy? Will I have to know what forks and spoons to use? Mel might be super excited to go to some country club but I’d be nervous as heck if I were her. Lots of expectation there. “Um…anything but sushi, I guess.”
He makes a positive sound. “No raw fish. Yeah, I’m kinda with you on that.”
I smile—well, if I’m going to be honest, I’m beaming—but I’ve got my back to him as I’m pulling one of my favorite books from the shelf so he can’t see what a fool I am.
“Pizza?”
“Pizza’s good.” Very casual. No need to use any forks at all. I get my out-of-control smile back to something more normal before I turn around with the book. But he’s right there, so close that I’m practically up against the bookshelf and he’s leaning into me.
“Nice outfit.” He lifts his arm and leans against the shelf so that he’s even closer to me, his body almost touching every part of mine.
I flush, feeling the heat rise along with a full body vibration that threatens to make my knees buckle. I mean, he’s so close to me…close enough to kiss me if he wanted to.
“It’s nothing special.” I mean seriously, I’m wearing jeans and a sweater. Thank goodness I listened to Abby and got something sexier to wear tonight, though. Which, once again, makes me wonder what the plans are for tonight. We’re going for pizza, and then to Malcolm’s party, then what?
He lifts his other hand and brushes the hair from the side of my face. “Your skin always looks so soft.”
His lips look so soft. I mean…I blink…pull my eyes away from his mouth, which is so close to mine right now. “It is…soft…I, uh…I moisturize.”
What the… I moisturize?
He brushes his thumb along my jaw and I’m locked into his eyes. They’re so pretty, framed by his dark lashes, I think I could stare at him all day and never get tired of it. There’s a song about ocean eyes that I like and that’s what he’s got. Eyes you can drown in.
He moves closer. The book comes between us. The back of my hand rests against the wall of his chest.
My breath catches.
“Rowan, we have customers. Oh—” Abby’s face appears at the end of the aisle looking frazzled. “Sorry to, um…interrupt.” She disappears again and I can hear her laughing as she moves away.
Moment. Effectively. Killed.
Luca sucks in a deep breath as he wraps his hand around the book before pulling away. “What’s this one about?”
I suck in a shaky breath. Freaking Abby. “It’s the first book in a pretty awesome series about a detective who is being toyed with by a serial killer named Silva. He’s obsessed, so is she. It’s pretty awesome.” I try to keep my voice steady even though I’m still high from our almost kiss. “It’s one of my favorite books.”
“The Hunt.” He flips the book over. “Cool.” He takes another step back. “I’ll pick you up at nine.”
He starts to walk away but then turns back. “Should I come in? Meet your mom?”
Ah, crap. I haven’t even said anything to my mom about the date or the night out. This takes some quick thinking. “Um…no…actually. Can you pick me up at Ethan’s instead of my house?”
“Ethan’s?”
I flush. “Yeah, I…uh…my mom has a film crew at the house tonight so I need to be invisible. Better if I’m just not home.” Not a total lie. Zach and her are filming auras or something tonight.
“A film crew?” His eyes light up. “That’s totally cool.” He nods. “Sure, text me Ethan’s address and I’ll get you there.”
He pauses again, then moves in close, so close that my body is pressed against his again, and his lips brush my ear. “But he’s not coming with us,” he whispers. “I get you all to myself, right?”
I shiver, my body doing…things. Like weird melty, jolty, goose bump, scalp tingling, eye blinking things. “Right,” I croak.
His hand is on my hip and he’s pulling me closer to his body somehow. All I can smell is him. I don’t know what to do with my hands, or my mouth. I think my brain has fizzled out completely.
“At least until we get to the party.” He pulls back from me again. “I’ll see you at nine.”
And then he’s gone and I don’t think my legs are going to work properly anytime soon.
Chapter Eight
Mom doesn’t even blink an eye when I tell her I’m going to stay over at Ethan’s. She’s having a rare evening of relaxation before her aura filming later with Zach. Another witching hour project, apparently. There’s a bunch of people coming over for her to record their auras for analysis. At midnight. For now, though, she’s opened a bottle of wine and is sipping away as she catches up on some episodes of one of the ghost hunting shows she enjoys helpfully critiquing.
“Have fun over there,” she calls out as I open the front door. “You guys can come back here if you’re feeling like you need some adult supervision.” She laughs at her own joke. “We’ll see what your auras are up to these days.”
That’s gonna be a big fat nope for me. “We’ll be fine. And my aura isn’t photogenic at all. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Okay, sweetie, love you.”
“Love you, too, Mom.” And yeah, okay, I do feel a twinge of guilt for not telling her that I’m going on a date or that I’m going to a party. Neither of those things I think she’d be particularly strict about but I don’t want to deal with a lecture when my nerves are already frayed. I just know she’d find a way to turn it into something weird. I want normal tonight for once.
Ethan is already in full-on makeup mode when I get to his place. “Dad left for a shift, but he made some burgers if you want some.”
“Um, I’ll pass.” I know Ethan got an invite for the party. I’m just not sure how it all rolled out. “So, how was Malcolm acting when he told you to come?”
Ethan glances at me in the mirror. He just finished putting on his fake lashes, standard black but super long. Like he needs them, ugh. He flutters them to test them out. “Oh, you know, like he’d die if I didn’t come.” Ethan smiles wickedly. “He was all over me, actually. Made me think you slipped something else in that spell of yours.”
“Really?” I pull my outfit out of the bags.
“Not that I minded.” He winks. “Whoa, that’s some halter!”
I pulled out the panties and hold up the bra. “Abby said I’ll need these.”
Ethan quirks an eyebrow, still looking at me in the mirror. “Well, let’s see them on.”
I sigh but do as he says. I’m not one for getting all fancy but I’m not gonna lie, putting on a bra that fits properly with some silky panties to match does make me feel like tonight is going to be special.
“Hot mama!” Ethan whistles when I come out of the restroom.
Abby is right, the bra lifts my boobs in a way that makes them look perky and my waist and hips are kind of hourglass shaped so I don’t feel so disproportioned.
“Turn around.”
I do a little spin, holding my hands up like I’m some kind of performer showcasing my talents.
“Ro, you look hot!” He yanks the tag off of my panties with a quick swipe. “I mean, I know you’re no virgin, but sweetheart, you are definitely going to get some amazing Luca action if he catches sight of you in those.”
I had a boyfriend, Rylie, last year but he moved away in the summer and since then I just haven’t really been too interested in seeking out someone else. No one is like Rylie. He’s a giant geek, loves playing around on his computer, is big into video games and yeah, my first sexual anything. Nothing between Rylie and I had ever been super sensual, not like things between me and Luca have already been. I mean, usually it was me initiating things with Ry. He wasn’t exactly the type of guy to turn on the heat. Really, the only time we talked was when we were both playing online and then it was more banter about the game than anything else. Luca talks to me like I’m a person worth getting to know and he sees me, not just because of how weird I am, either. I’m looking forward to spending some time with him alone tonight before the party.
“Let’s see the outfit on.” Ethan motions to the pile of clothes on his bed.
I manage to get the jeans on and done up, then the halter, which Ethan has to help me untangle because I somehow get it rolled up under my arms and the damn thing is so super tight that it’s hard to get over my boobs.
“There,” I say, out of breath and laughing. I smooth my hands over the halter. It’s black, it pushes my boobs up, and gives me the greatest looking cleavage ever.
“Yep, you’re hot. Luca is going to die.” Ethan motions to his makeup table. “You want a bit of a touch up? Some lip gloss?”
I glance at my reflection and smile. I do look hot. “Okay, but nothing crazy.”
“Promise.” Ethan claps his hands with glee. “And your hair? I can do something with it, too, right?”
“I guess so,” I say before sitting down at his makeup table. “I was just going to put it in a ponytail.”
“Ha ha, right.” He parts my hair in the middle and pushes it over my shoulders so that it covers my boobs. “It’s got to go up, for sure. He needs easy access to your creamy skin.” Ethan trails his fingers up the side of my neck. “And he needs to see your giant boobs!”
“Shut up, you perv!” I smack his hand away but I can’t stop laughing. The night seems perfect already and it hasn’t even started.
“I’m totally jealous that Abby and Mel convinced you to finally try something new on, but damn girl, she picked the perfect outfit for you.” He runs a brush through my hair. “I mean, it makes you wonder what happened to Abby’s wardrobe.”
“She’s pushy and annoying but kind of brilliant, too.”
“Um, no she’s not.” Ethan tugs at my tangles.
“Well, it was her idea to try out these love spells. And we’re making a profit already. Mr. Tremmel approved our business proposal today.” It was a lesson in coercion watching Abby convince him to let us run with the love spell booth because, of course, he wasn’t too keen on our idea, just like Ethan predicted. “She started by telling him about National Lover’s Day and Take a Chance Day. He didn’t seem overly impressed that she was pushing two obscure holidays on him so then she hit him with the good stuff.” I pause.
“The anticipation is killing me.” Ethan picks up a chunk of hair and starts braiding it.
“Abby told him that the love spells were my idea and that considering who my mom is, she didn’t want him to come off as insensitive. You know, unless he’s saying that my mom is a scam artist as well.” I laugh a little. “He got all awkward and said that we could go ahead so there’s nothing stopping us from killing this project. We’re totally going to get As.”
Ethan stops what he’s doing and stares at me in the mirror.
“What?” I’m thinking I must have something stuck in my teeth with the way he’s looking at me.
“That’s what I don’t get about you, Ro.” Ethan pulls the other side of my hair back and up, twisting it this way and that. “You work so hard to get these amazing grades, but you aren’t planning on going anywhere.”
Same old conversation. The smile slips from my face. “I can’t leave Mom.”
“She’s expecting you to leave. With me.” Ethan grabs a clip from the table. “I heard
her talking to your dad the other day—that’s what she was saying. She expects you to apply to college and leave.”
“She’s always saying that kind of thing to him.” To the walls. To the chairs. “It’s just a passive aggressive way to get me to do what she wants.” Sometimes I pity her because she honestly thinks she’s talking to my dad. Other times I’m annoyed. Like right now.
“Well, I agree with her. You should be coming with me. New York, baby! We’ll rule that place.”
Ethan has dreamt about moving to New York for as long as I can remember. He wants to be immersed in the lifestyle there, which I will admit, is probably more in line with his personality than here. His dream is to take his makeup skills into the special effects territory, maybe get into period costuming or something. He hasn’t settled on a school yet, but he knows it’ll be one of the many that offer that kind of training in New York.
And the people there will definitely be more open-minded, which in the past was appealing to both of us. I thought I wanted to escape, go somewhere where no one knew who my mom was. But that was before I realized how messed up she was getting.
“She thinks she wants me to go, but could you imagine how things will get if I leave her?” I wave my hands around. “She’s likely to let some psychic move into the place or set up some kind of past-life regression commune, maybe start giving tours of the house to the public. While I’m living in the house, she needs to keep things somewhat normal.”
“Ro, there’s nothing normal about your living arrangement.” Ethan laughs. “Anyway, I’ve got time to convince you.” He leans down so he can whisper into my ear. “And I will convince you because this place is Nowhere Land and we’re destined for greater things.”
“No, you’re destined for that.” I’m destined to manage my mom’s fan mail and keep her life somewhat rooted in reality. If I don’t, I’ll lose her, too.
Love Spells and Other Disasters Page 8