by T L Osborn
I turn to look at him, his eyes are wide open, staring into mine and I can’t help myself.
“I love you,” I whisper against his neck.
“I know. You’ve been telling me for months, you just haven’t realised it.” He chuckles.
“How?”
“You sleep talk.”
I sit, blinking at him. If he knows that I love him, what else does he know? I eye him curiously.
“Don’t worry, you mostly just tell me you love me.”
“You sure that’s all?”
“Yep, if you do anything embarrassing I’ll never tell you,” he says.
“Okay, we should get up and dressed to head for lunch, not that my mother has remembered it’s my birthday. She’ll text me in two days.” I laugh. Though I’m concerned I haven’t heard from Torrie, she’s usually the first person to text me on my birthday.
“Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get the rendition of my birth tonight; how horrible I was to my mother, making her stay in labour for two days. I’m never living it down, I swear.” He chuckles as we finally climb out of bed. “Oh, one more thing?”
“Yeah.”
“Tag: You’re it,” he says as he hastily exits the bedroom and I bounce after him all the way into the bathroom where he pulls me into a scalding, hot shower to have some raw, passionate sex.
Best birthday ever.
James
Damn it, I’m a coward.
I couldn’t tell her how I feel, I choked up and couldn’t speak. I’m sure she was expecting me to say it back, but I couldn’t.
I slide my tie around my neck, do it up, then turn the collar of my shirt down. Smoothing down my hair, making sure none of my curls pop out for tonight, I want to look my best for Riley. I slide my suit jacket on before doing it up.
For the first time in years, I’m going to enjoy my birthday and the dreaded party that comes with it. For once, I have a date I enjoy being with and not because I’ll get something at the end of it. I step out of the bedroom as Courtney is packing away her hair straighteners. The woman had come over after our lunch to do Riley’s hair, so my woman didn’t have to worry about it.
“Wow! Look at you, handsome.”
“You like?” I ask.
“I like, but she’s going to love.” Smiling, I’m glad she approves. “She’s almost ready, just doing the final touch up to her makeup and putting on her shoes. She looks amazing. Then again, I’m biased since I did her makeup too.”
I chuckle. “Thanks for coming over.”
“Thanks for having me. We’re looking forward to seeing you again at the flat sometime for dinner and that amazing apple crumble.”
Courtney sees herself out and I wait patiently for Riley to appear. She walks out of the bedroom, wearing a floor-length, deep purple gown with curls running through her hair, pinned up in a simple do at the back. She’s gorgeous; and I’m one fortunate man to have her on my arm tonight.
“I take it you like?” she asks.
“I do. What are you wearing underneath, the back is rather risqué.”
“You’ll find out later. Now, come on, or we’re going to be late.”
“It’s my damn party, I’ll be late if I fucking want to,” I reply. She frowns at me and I know she wants to make a good impression on my mother. “You’re forgetting something?”
“Shoes, purse, dress and panties. Nope, not forgetting anything,” she says, clasping her hands around my face, then leans in for a quick kiss.
“Hey! That wasn’t long enough,” I complain.
“You’ll get lipstick all over you.”
“Then I’ll wear it as a badge of honour,” I say, holding out my arm for her. “Ready to go, m’lady?”
“Sure am. I’m so excited for tonight.”
“Me too. Save the last dance for me.”
“It had better be the horizontal tango.” She giggles.
“Is sex all you think about?” I ask as we head out of my apartment.
She shakes her head. “No, I think about food and work too.”
My perfect fucking woman right here.
We make our way to the car. I’m glad I hired a driver for us tonight and I make him go around the block one more time for Riley and me to see the lights of Wellington city before we have to head inside for the evening. Staring out the window, I watch Riley highlighted in the moonlight which is streaming in through the car window. She looks radiant, glowing in the light, leaving me feeling like a fool for not telling her I’ve fallen in love with her. She deserves so much better than the likes of me. She’s pure perfection—I’m broken and unfixable.
Riley
We step out of the car and into the hotel where Mel and Suzanne have booked a room to host James’ party. The ballroom is gorgeously decorated with purple and blue streamers, stars and tablecloths. The cake, sitting pride of place in the middle of the room, is stunning. Three tiers of purple and blue with a big thirty-seven candle on top.
“This is beautiful,” I whisper to James.
“My sister and mother sure know how to throw a party.” He chuckles with a squeeze of my hand.
We walk through the crowd and he introduces me to people—so many of them—and I’ll never remember all of their names, but most of them are business associates who are surprised that James has been tied down. He picks up a glass of champagne from a passing waiter for me and we finally sit at the table with his family.
“Happy birthday, big bro,” Mel says, handing him an envelope, then gives him a hug.
“One year older, but not wiser, huh, bro?” Simon chuckles.
“I’m still wiser than you,” James replies.
“Want a whiskey?” Simon asks.
“Yes, please. Thanks, Mel, the tickets are great.”
“I know you love football, so I got you front row seats. Thought you and Simon could go, you know, on a boys’ day out and all that manly stuff you supposedly do.” She laughs.
“Cheers, I appreciate it,” James says.
Suddenly, I feel my gift is lame compared to all of theirs. Gifts of football tickets, expensive bottles of whiskey, wine tasting tours and all sorts of fun things.
He leans over to me. “Are you okay?” he whispers in my ear.
“Yeah, just feeling like my gifts are lame compared to these.”
“Yours are my favourites because they’re from you. That sexy book you made me, pure perfection. I can look at it for hours.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, my love.”
The smell of hot food wafts through the air and as James turns, looking towards the servers, the colour drains from his face.
“Oh, fuck!” Mel says aloud, looking in the direction of where James’ gaze is fixed.
“Melissa, language,” Suzanne scolds.
I turn to find him staring at a blonde woman with long streaked wavy locks, wearing a tidy chef’s uniform.
“Who is she?” I ask.
My question goes unanswered by James as he gets out of his seat, then marches across the dance floor in a very aggressive way.
“James told you about his ex, right?” Mel asks me. I nod. “Good, because that’s her. We’re very sorry, we didn’t know she was going to be here when we hired the catering company. If you’ll excuse us, Simon and I need to do some damage control before things get out of hand.”
Mel and Simon head towards the pair as James yells, “What the hell are you doing here?”
Chapter Twenty-Two
James
“I want you to leave,” I snap at Ashley. I don’t want her anywhere near my birthday, friends, or family tonight, but most importantly me.
“I can’t, I own the company catering your event,” Ashley replies, pouring more champagne into some glasses.
“You don’t even fucking care what I’m going through today, do you?”
“What you’re going through?”
“How about what you put me through? Cheating on me, making false promises, the
n to top it off, you don’t even tell me my son died.”
“He was not your baby,” she says through gritted teeth.
“The hell he wasn’t. You made him with me; a baby I thought we were going to have,” I say as I follow her back into the kitchen.
“I’m so sorry and you’re right, I should’ve told you much sooner what I was doing with Tiff and not even gotten pregnant. I should’ve left before things went too far.”
“I believed you loved me and that the baby was made from love. I still remember the night he was conceived. You enjoyed it.”
“It was an act, and very good acting if I do say so.”
“You want to know something? If you’d simply been honest with me, yeah, I would’ve been pissed for a while, but I’d have gotten over it. If you’d told me, then come to me six months later, I probably would’ve helped you have a baby together because you two are definitely better matched than we ever were, but you didn’t.”
“I know. I strung you along and it’s not something I’m proud of, James.”
“You didn’t even bother to call to tell me he was stillborn and on my birthday. I’m not saying you shouldn’t grieve his loss, but you never gave me a chance to. A chance I should’ve been allowed. I don’t even know where he’s buried. I can’t go and say goodbye. How does it feel, Ashley, knowing you ripped that away from me?”
She lowers her head.
Damn straight she should be ashamed.
“You should be ashamed. You fucking ruined my life.”
“No, I didn’t. You let it consume you. You’re the one who’s angry right now and yes, I know I was at fault, but it was ten years ago.”
“Tell me where he’s buried,” I demand.
She shakes her head. “He’s not. We had him cremated and he’s at home with me and Tiffany where he belongs.”
Clenching my fists, I’m overcome with rage so I pick up a plate and toss it at the wall shattering it into a thousand pieces. “You fucking bitch,” I roar. “You didn’t tell me he was stillborn and now he’s been cremated?”
Ashley bursts into tears. “I know I’m an awful person for doing it. I wanted to tell you, but Tiffany said it’s for the best that you didn’t know.”
“Since when did she get a say in my fucking life? You know I split Simon’s face open over this, right? He’s stuck with a massive scar down his cheek all because of the way you treated me.”
“How did you find out?” she asks.
“I found out through some mutual friends of ours, three months after you’d lost him.”
“Oh.”
“You know, you’re the reason I never opened my heart to anyone ever again. For some fucked up and twisted reason, you still own part of my heart and that lays with my son. There’s a woman out there tonight, who told me earlier she’s in love with me. I’m the fucked up, twisted mess and known playboy and she still loves me. Her heart is made of gold, I’m damn sure of it and I sure as shit don’t deserve her.”
“You do. You deserve to be happy.”
“I couldn’t say it back to her because I never got over you.” I lean against the big metal benches, breathing heavily against them. My body’s tense, jaw taut as I stare over at her through angry eyes. For the first time ever, it seems I’ve left Ashley speechless.
Riley
I shouldn’t be listening in on their conversation, but I can’t help it. I came over to get another glass of champagne and heard him yelling from the kitchen. His words ring through my ears.
He never got over her.
Does that mean he’ll never love me?
James exits the kitchen a few moments later, his fists clenched and his face stone cold, eyes blazing with fury. He walks straight past me and orders another whiskey from the bar.
I walk over to him and place my hand on his bicep. “Are you okay?”
He takes a sip and turns to look at me. “No, but I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I’d like to enjoy my drink and the rest of the party.”
“Babe…” I start, but he walks away from me and I follow him outside onto the balcony where some of the guests are smoking cigars. James picks one up and lights it. “Will you talk to me?” I ask as he takes a puff.
“What part of ‘I don’t want to talk’ didn’t you understand?” he asks.
“Clearly, you need to talk about this. It’s had a big impact on you.”
“Sweetheart, walk your pretty little frame inside and enjoy the rest of the party because I’m not going to talk about anything that was said between her and me tonight. Go have another wine, some more food and maybe a slice of cake. It does look delicious; and dance the night away because I’m going to be out here smoking cigars and drinking whiskey.”
“So, you’re going to ignore me tonight?” I sigh. “I might as well head home to be with my roommates.”
“You do that, sweetheart. Runoff with your so-called friend.”
“How many times do I have to tell you there’s nothing between Courtney and me? She’s a friend, damn it! She’s as straight as they come. She likes men and dicks too much.” He rolls his eyes. “You’re such a jerk! You’re willing to believe that all women are lesbians, all because of what your ex did to you. You know Ashley was right about one thing, she might have cheated, but you’re the one who hasn’t moved forward.” I turn on my heels, walking swiftly away and bump into Simon in the ballroom.
“Having fun, Riley?” he asks.
“I was until your brother turned into a dick. I need to leave. I can’t be here right now. I told him I’m in love with him and this is how he treats me. This is my birthday too and I don’t deserve to be treated like this tonight. I honestly thought... Well, I‘d hoped that maybe he was falling in love with me too. I’m such a damn fool.”
Simon sighs. “You are not the fool, he is, but do you think you can wait a few moments while I get someone to drive you home? I don’t like the thought of you going home alone.”
“Thanks, Simon, I appreciate that, but I’ll be fine.”
He growls, “I’ve already texted my guy and he’s on his way. Look for a black SUV out front. His name is Roger. I’ll sort James out.”
“Thank you.” I walk through the ballroom and out to the lobby of the hotel. I can’t believe I was so foolish as to fall in love with him. Muses should remain photos and be nothing more.
A man is waiting, holding a sign that reads ‘Riley’, and I head over.
“Roger?” I ask.
“Sure am, madam,” he replies, opening the rear passenger door for me. I climb in, buckle up and as I look out the window, the tears start streaming down my face. I wipe them away, but more flow, causing a river down my cheeks.
“Where am I taking you?”
I turn to him, my eyes swollen. “Is Petone too far?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Mr Billington told me to drop you wherever you need to go.”
“Forty-two Beach Street, Petone. Please.”
I don’t want to go home tonight. I can’t bear to be there, knowing I have some of his things in my room and Courtney probably won’t be alone. I’m not going to ruin someone else’s night.
The drive is silent to Torrie’s and Roger drops me outside. I walk to the front door and knock. As soon as Torrie opens the door, I burst into tears.
“Oh, sweetie, what happened?” she asks.
“He’s an asshole, Tor,” I wail.
“Come on in, I’ll make you a hot drink and we can talk.” She wraps an arm around me and I know I’ll be okay if I stay here tonight.
James
Where the hell am I?
Smacking my lips together, all I get is the taste of stale cigars and whiskey. Not a good combination. I open my eyes, expecting to find Riley lying beside me and then last night floods back through my mind.
The awful things I yelled at Ashley, the horrible way I treated Riley. Instead of telling her I love her, I told her to leave.
Sitting up in the bed, I realise I’m in
the spare room of my sister’s place—I’d recognise her need for black chandeliers anywhere.
God, they’re ugly.
I strip the covers off me and make my way into the bathroom to shower. Standing beneath the scalding hot water, though it’s not as hot as I’d like it to be, I try to rinse myself of the ugliness that was last night.
It was supposed to be an awesome night. Instead, it turned into one of horror when I saw my ex was there. Then I pushed Riley away when all she wanted to do was comfort and support me. I needed her, but I still pushed her away. Propelling off the wall, I wash my body and get out, drying myself with a towel.
As I enter Mel’s kitchen, I find Lara sitting at one of the bar stools, sipping a coffee. “Morning, boss. How are we feeling today?” she asks.
“Lousy,” I reply, taking a seat next to her.
“Want a coffee?” she asks.
“Sure. I didn’t realise you and Mel had moved in together,” I say, looking around the apartment.
“I haven’t completely moved in. It’s a trial to see how things go and so far things are awesome between us. I mean, yeah, we still have our little fights, but what couple doesn’t, you know?” she replies.
“That’s great. I’m glad it’s working out for you.” She finishes making my coffee and comes to sit beside me. I pick up the cup and take a sip, allowing the caffeine to hit and liven me up. “You make an awesome coffee. I realise I’ve probably never told you that, but you do.”
“Cheers, boss, I appreciate it.”
“Drop the boss crap, it’s a weekend.” I chuckle.
She shrugs. “How are you feeling this morning?”
“Like shit. Fuck, I’ve lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me and all because I was a dick to her last night. I’m one fucked up mess.”
“Can I ask you something? Please don’t be offended, but did you ever see a counsellor about what you went through? I mean, everyone heard the conversation you had last night with Ashley, it wasn’t hard to hear with all the yelling even though you moved to the kitchen. Honestly, after what she put you through, did you?”