by Holly Smith
Petal stopped by her desk as always. “How was your weekend, Nelise?”
“It was nice, thanks, and yours?”
“Not long enough but good. Everyone in my family had plans so I had the weekend to myself. It used to be very uncomfortable for me to be alone but since chatting with you about stuff, I didn’t mind this time. I didn’t enjoy the evenings so much but I challenged myself to get through them alone and I ended up baking cookies. It was actually fun. I brought you a few,” she said, placing them on Nelise’s desk. “Has that ever happened to you?”
“Not really,” Nelise said. She never did much with her family because it was a matter of maintaining her sanity. She preferred to do things on her own in peace. The one member of her extended family whose company she did enjoy was her only aunt in a nearby state.
“I don’t mind it.” Of course, she could not talk about Esleen.
“Oh? You’re lucky,” Petal said, sounding hurt that Nelise did not relate to her experience.
“Petal, you know you are my very best friend,” Nelise said. Lately Petal had been hinting that they hang out together more and Nelise often brushed off the idea. She didn’t want it to become a habit for fear of telling Petal about Garden, a no-no in the rules of the book.
“I need to go clothes shopping this weekend. Do you want to go?” Nelise asked suddenly.
“I’d love to! I’ve got to say, being alone must be doing something for you. I haven’t seen you in a sad or bad mood in months,” Petal said. Leaning on Nelise’s desk, she whispered, “So, what, or should I say who, have you been up to lately? You can tell meee.”
“We all have our own way of dealing with life, Petal, right?” Nelise stated while focusing on her work. Petal walked away, looking back at her suspiciously.
When Nelise got home that evening, she was in a good mood. She ate supper and while trying to figure out what to wear to work the next day, she turned on the television. After fiddling with the remote for a few moments, she landed on a movie channel. A detective was interrogating a family about a murder in the town. Suddenly, she felt weak and her stomach churned. She sat on her bedroom chair wishing she could see Esleen but knew she couldn’t in her present state of mind. She turned off the television and managed to get herself into bed and fell fast asleep.
Nelise woke up after midnight feeling better, yet she knew she had to deal with that memory right away.
“Hi, Nelise; good to see you as always. Body shop?” asked Esleen.
“Yeah.”
It took Nelise a little while to get a response she liked from the mirrors. Even Ivy stuck her head into the room to see what was taking so long. Nelise decided to focus on keeping her emotions in a good place so as not to be thrown out of Garden. Her practice over the months helped.
Finally, a plain-looking Nelise appeared; attractive and slender yet not like anything she had seen before. She didn’t care; she was still in Garden.
When she exited the body shop, Esleen looked at her curiously.
“What?” Nelise asked, noticing feelings stirring within her under Esleen’s gaze.
“Why, nothing in particular, Nelise; just wondering what is going on with you. Do you want to talk?”
“No, not really,” said Nelise. As soon as she heard her own voice, she knew she was about to be thrown out of Garden and said, “I need help.”
“Hi, Nelise; I see it happened again. You have been doing so well; I haven’t seen you in a long time. What’s up?” MG asked.
“I had another flashback come to haunt me. It’s not going to be easy to deal with this one.”
“Oh? Tell me about it,” said MG.
“When I was a little girl, I saw . . . , that is to say . . . , I saw something . . . ,” Nelise got choked up and could barely breathe.
“Nelise, you’ve lived through it already and it’s over. Take a breath and tell me,” MG said.
Nelise took a few deep breaths and continued.
“I saw something I never wanted to remember. I was doing so well and now this! Why did it come to me now?”
“As I’ve said before; in order for you to deal with it. You were too young at the time but now you have the resources and so it has come up to be resolved.”
“How?” Nelise asked, her eyes wide with dread.
“Did you ever tell anybody about it?”
“No. I was hiding and I’m not sure I even knew what was going on. I just know it seemed like something bad so I never said anything to anyone. I knew the person was very angry and had a shovel and . . . , and . . . , that’s all I remember,” Nelise said, catching her breath.
“Was it someone you knew?” MG pursued.
“Yes . . . , someone very close to me.” Nelise’s body shuddered. She knew then she was back in her chair. How am I going to deal with this if I can’t even speak to MG? She scarfed down almost a full quart of ice cream while watching another movie to distract her. Then she berated herself for that and dejectedly cried herself to sleep.
When she woke up, it was four in the morning. She sat in her chair.
“I need help.”
“Nelise, you’re back. Have you decided what you’re going to do?”
“Not yet; I’m trying to reason it out.”
“Good. Is the person involved still alive?” asked MG.
“No. That’s why I was surprised the memory came back to me.”
“It came back because you are safe now.”
“But what if I don’t want to deal with it?”
“You can choose not to and stay out of Garden.”
“I know, MG; I know.”
By the time Thursday rolled around, Nelise was so miserable that she had to talk to someone. She called her Aunt Gertie.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Auntie; how are you?”
“Nelise! I am well. How are you? I haven’t heard from you in quite some time.”
“Yes, I’m sorry, just been busy. I was wondering if you would be up for a visit this weekend.”
“I am always up for a visit with you, dear. Do you want to stay over Saturday night? I finally cleaned out the extra room. We can watch a movie and have popcorn like old times,” Gertie suggested cheerfully.
“Sure, I’d like that. How about noon for lunch?”
“Sounds good to me, dear; do you want to dine in or out?”
“Let’s eat out.”
“Are you sure you’re OK with that? I know it can be stressful for you,” Gertie said hesitantly.
“It’s OK, Auntie,” Nelise said. “Thanks for asking though.”
“OK, dear; see you then. I look forward to it.”
Dear Auntie Gertie, you are always to the point but not pushy, Nelise thought and smiled.
Nelise decided to start there, with her mother’s sister. She wasn’t sure she would find out anything but with families, you can never be sure. She had to settle her mind so she could return to Garden. She had tried sending the whole idea to the Great Hall of Light but it did not work and the only reason she could think of was that the truth needed to be known once and for all.
She went out after work to buy a card and gift for her aunt and hopefully see Loyle.
She had just found the perfect card and was getting an envelope for it when she heard a voice say, “Hi, Loyle! Want to do dinner tonight after work?”
Nelise moved out of sight behind the card aisle and listened for Loyle’s response.
“Hey, Carobean; I’d love to. Where at?”
“The burger and beer joint, eleven-thirty. See you later.”
At that point Nelise poked her head around in time to see the back of the person’s head as they went out the door. All she saw was a ponytail, a red plaid shirt, and jeans. She approached the counter where Loyle was wiping down shelves. When he looked up and saw Nelise, he hurried over. “Nelise! I’m surprised to see you here on a weeknight! Is the world coming to an end?” he asked jokingly.
“Very funny, Loyle,” Nelise said, handin
g the card to him to ring up. She was feeling unsettled after hearing the female’s voice inviting him to dinner. “Sounds like you’ve got a dinner date tonight, eh?” she asked in spite of her better judgment.
“Oh, yeah, with a friend of mine. Every now and then I get to go out and have some fun. You might think I lived here you know,” he said casually and chuckled.
“I’m sure it must feel that way sometimes. Can I ask you something?”
“Why sure,” Loyle said, stopping to listen.
“Well, uh . . . , I was wondering, that is . . . , oh geesh, I’ll just say it and if you say no, I won’t be offended, OK?” she finally blurted out.
Loyle looked at her puzzled. “Nelise, what has gotten into you? What do you want to say to me? Hurry before I die of curiosity!”
“I’m going to visit my aunt out of state this weekend. Would you like to go with me for a short getaway? I’m staying overnight. She has a guest room and a sleep sofa in the den. Remember, it’s OK if you feel weird or you simply don’t want . . . ,” she was saying when Loyle interrupted.
“I’d love to! I haven’t had any time off in weeks so I’m sure the boss wouldn’t mind. Let me check with him tomorrow morning and I’ll call you, OK?”
“Really? I mean, great! I’m leaving at nine o’clock Saturday morning. Shall I pick you up at your home or here?” she asked. The excitement she felt made the butterflies in her stomach come alive.
“I live quite a distance from work so pick me up here. The boss lets us leave our cars overnight if we don’t make a habit of it.”
“All right, I’ll hope to see you at nine then,” Nelise said on the way out the door. She had only taken a few steps when she heard Loyle’s voice.
“Nelise! What’s your number?”
When Nelise got home, she couldn’t wait to go to Garden so she ate a slice of cheese toast with tea for supper and hurried to her chair.
“Hi, Nelise; it’s good to see you. Body shop?”
“Indeed.”
Nelise wondered what the mirror would reveal this time. Would it sense the excitement she felt? Would she be even more beautiful and possibly sexy looking?
As she waited in happy anticipation, a picture gradually emerged. Her hair was in a braid, she wore black slacks, a purple satin top with gold jewelry, and multi-colored flats. She looked feminine and alluring. She was pleased but as usual, being slender remained her priority.
“Where to, Nelise?” asked Esleen. “You seem much more animated today. Why?”
Nelise laughed.
“You should know if it’s true you know everything about me, Esleen.”
“I know it’s about a man but that is all. Tell me about him.”
“His name is Loyle. He’s tall and handsome, brown hair, bronze-colored eyes, and a beautiful smile. We have wonderful conversations and he’s not put off by my weight. I invited him to go to my aunt’s house with me this weekend and to my surprise, he said yes! I’m overjoyed,” she said, beaming.
Esleen became unusually quiet.
“Well? What do you want to say, Esleen? It’s not like you to be speechless.”
“How are you going to get answers from your aunt if Loyle, who you barely know, is with you? Why did you invite him at this time?”
Nelise was so startled by Esleen’s response that, of course, she found herself back in her chair. She wondered herself why she did that. She wanted answers and yet, for some reason, was there a part of her that didn’t? She recalled the sound of the female voice asking Loyle out to dinner and realized she felt like she had to make a pitch for his affection in case that person was more than a casual friend. The fact that he was happy to go with her revealed that he was not attached to anyone, yet. Still, she did need to talk with her aunt alone and how to do that tactfully was going to be a challenge.
She made herself a cup of cocoa and pondered the idea. I’ll have to explain it to him and give him the chance to bow out. Otherwise, I might offend him by changing plans when he was happy about going, and he may never want to do anything with me again. I hope he’ll still want to go; I must get my questions answered.
Nelise slept fitfully, waking up through the night wondering if Loyle would keep their plans or back out.
Chapter 11
As they were traveling up the highway and drinking coffee, Loyle was the first to push through the small talk and start a serious conversation.
“Nelise, why did you ignore me when I asked you out to dinner a while back?”
“What? When did I do that?” Nelise asked, surprised. How the heck did I miss him asking me for a date? she wondered.
“It was the first time I saw you with your hair down. I asked if you wanted to go out for dinner and you just laughed and left the store.”
“Loyle! I can’t believe I did that! I’m so sorry; I guess I didn’t hear you. Why didn’t you ask again?”
“I wasn’t sure why you didn’t respond in the first place and I wasn’t about to subject myself to another rejection,” he said sheepishly.
“I get that. Please forgive me,” Nelise said, realizing why she hadn’t heard him. She never expected men to ask her out since gaining so much additional weight after her divorce; partly because of that expectation, perhaps, they never did.
“I was really surprised when you invited me to go with you this weekend. Now that I think about it, what is the reason you invited me to meet a family member before going on a date with me? I don’t mind it, you understand; I’m just curious,” Loyle wondered aloud.
“Ha! You are too funny, Loyle! But now that you bring it up, I must confess something,” Nelise began, her stomach tightening with dread.
“What? We haven’t even been out on a date yet and you already have something to confess?” Amused, Loyle looked at her. “OK, out with it.”
“The original purpose for visiting my aunt was to discuss a family matter. She’s pretty laid back and likes people so inviting you along seemed like a good idea at the time. Later, I realized what I’d done and had planned on giving you the opportunity to decline the invitation, but I so wanted you to go that I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Although it’s too late now for that option, I’m asking if you would mind very much taking a walk or doing something to give us some private time during this visit. I can’t imagine the conversation lasting longer than a half hour or so. Is it too much to ask? If so, I will wait until a later time to talk with her.”
Great going, Nelise. How utterly stupid do you feel now? she asked herself.
“I don’t mind at all, Nelise. I can do it whichever way you want to. I’m glad you didn’t give me the option to back out because I would have for fear of interfering, but the way you put it here, I’m fine. Just let me know when and I’ll probably go for a walk. I like exploring places I’ve never seen before.”
“Thank you, Loyle; I appreciate your understanding,” Nelise said with an exaggerated wipe of her brow. With that concern out of the way, she could enjoy the rest of the ride. They stopped for more coffee and continued on their way, discussing work and other things.
“You’re finally here!” shouted a tall, middle-aged woman with sandy brown hair and hazel green eyes as she ran to greet them. She gave Nelise a big hug.
“Auntie, this is Loyle Greene. Loyle, this is my Aunt Gertie Adams.”
Gertie went up to Loyle and gave him a big hug like she’d known him for ages. “I’m glad Nelise decided to bring a friend, the more the merrier. C’mon in, I’ve got a few little things to do and then I’ll be ready to go. By the way, where are we going to eat?” she asked as she disappeared down the hall.
“What do you feel like having?” Nelise called out.
Gertie returned after a few minutes with her jacket. “Let’s leave it up to Loyle since he’s our guest. The two closest restaurants are Italian, and there’s a Japanese steak house. If we drive for another half hour, there’s a seafood restaurant by the water but I don’t know how hungry you both are.”
“I can hold out for the seafood; how about you, Nelise?” Loyle asked.
“Yes, me too. There’s also paddle boat rentals nearby,” she said, winking at Loyle.
Loyle got the message and gave her a smiling nod of approval.
“Great, I get to eat a lot and then paddle it away! How can it get better than that?” he joked.
They laughed and piled into Gertie’s car.
“So Nelise, what exactly did you want to talk with me about?” Gertie asked after the salads were served.
“Auntie, let’s wait until we’re finished eating and talk over coffee,” Nelise suggested with a nervous smile and reached for a roll.
“OK, sure.”
As they were drinking coffee, the waitress came over and asked if they wanted dessert. They all ordered apple pie and Loyle finished eating his first.
“Now that I’m full, I’m going to go check out the paddle boats,” he said patting his stomach and grinning.
“Oh, I love paddle boats; let’s all go!” Gertie agreed happily.
“Auntie, I thought while he does that, we could talk. Do you mind so very much?” Nelise asked, waving Loyle away out of her aunt’s sight.
“Well, I guess not; it sounds important. What’s on your mind?”
“I’m not sure you know anything about what I’m going to say but I need to find out,” Nelise began.
“OK, dear.”
“When I was a young girl, I woke up very late one night when Dad was working an all-nighter. I got up to get a drink of water and smelled smoke. It frightened me because I thought there was a fire in the house. I went to get Mom but she wasn’t in the house. So I ran to the back yard to look for her and saw light and smoke coming from behind the shed. I went back there to see where it was coming from and there was Mom digging a hole in the ground. She kept digging and digging and digging.”
“Well, for goodness sakes, what was she doing that for?” Gertie asked with surprise.
“I’m not sure. I watched her for the longest time. She finally stopped, picked up a box wrapped in blue Christmas paper and placed it into the hole. I cannot imagine what was in it but she looked at her watch and hurriedly filled in the hole again. She started packing the dirt down with the shovel and as she did, she was crying. Then she started hitting the dirt hard with the shovel and yelling something. When she finally stopped, she took a broom and swept the dirt, God knows why, and then looked up at the sky and prayed. Do you have any idea what it was about? Any at all?” Nelise’s body trembled at the memory yet at the same time, she felt better about finally getting it out. She looked at Gertie, whose face was suddenly drained of color. Gertie impatiently called the waitress over and ordered two beers.