by Holly Smith
“That is quite a man. Do you possess those characteristics as well?” Esleen asked.
“What?” Nelise asked surprised.
Esleen smiled. “To attract others with those qualities, you have to have them yourself to some degree. Do you?”
“Usshhh!” Nelise contemplated the time she had spent in Garden and how she saw herself now as compared to her first visit.
“Yes. Since coming to Garden, I feel as though I have definitely developed those traits if I didn’t already have them. Yes,” she said confidently.
“Wonderful, Nelise. Then I would say you are ready for a relationship, but must it be with the person you have in mind? And who says it is too much to ask for a relationship with someone who knows about Garden?”
Nelise looked at Esleen blankly for a moment, then disregarded her words.
“Yes, he fits the bill almost perfectly,” she said.
“Almost?”
“Well, I can’t be sure since we don’t know each other that well yet.”
“Interesting.”
“Interesting? Why are you saying that again?”
“Because you didn’t answer my questions.”
Nelise became irritated with Esleen and found herself out of Garden.
“Oh for goodness sakes! I’m not going to ask for help this time; I’m done with this,” she said obstinately.
“Nelise, how can I help?”
“I didn’t ask for you, MG; what am I doing here?”
“You said the word help, and here we are.”
“MG, I don’t want your help right now,” Nelise said and watched MG fade away.
Chapter 13
“Say, that was easy enough. I am self-assured, yes indeed,” Nelise said proudly. She looked at the clock: two-thirty in the morning. Great, still time for sleep!
She woke up before the alarm and bounded out of bed into the kitchen to make tea and toast. She felt so energized that she arrived at work early and had completed a work project before everyone else started tumbling in with Monday-morning blahs.
“Nelise! Is that you? Are you really here before everyone else?” Petal asked, feigning shock.
Nelise laughed. “Very funny, Petal; yes, it’s me. I brought bagels for everyone; they’re in the break room.”
Chad was passing by and heard her.
“Did you say bagels for everyone? Including me?”
“Yes, including you Chad, you bad boy,” Nelise said with a smile.
“Oh, thank you, thank you,” he said, bowing in front of her desk and running off to the break room, leaving the two women in laughter.
“So, what’s going on with you, Nelise? Tell me. It has to be something big to have brought you into work early!” Petal said, crouching down next to Nelise’s chair and waiting to hear her juicy news.
“Go to work, Petal; I just had some good sleep, that’s all. By the way, I must do some serious clothes shopping this week. Do you want to go?”
“Ahhh! There’s a man involved! Anytime a woman wants to go clothes shopping, it’s about a man!” Petal said with a wink as she headed off to her cubicle with a knowing look.
Nelise ignored her.
Thursday evening found Nelise and Petal in front of the clothing store for large women.
“Nelise, I want to get some things for my apartment. Call me when you’re ready to leave but give me a few minutes’ warning,” Petal said. “I’m going to the household goods shop.”
“Will do,” Nelise said. I’m so lucky to have such an understanding friend. I wonder if she would be like that if her own mother wasn’t overweight. She started looking at clothes with Loyle in mind. As she began collecting clothes to take to the dressing room, she thought about the colors and styles the Garden mirrors had been showing her. As she tried each piece on, she was surprised to find that nothing fit. She had not been paying attention to her weight since visiting Garden every day. She exchanged them for the next lower size which was still too big. She felt a thrill as if she had won the lottery. Did I thin down that much? Nobody has said anything to me except Loyle. The next lower size fit perfectly and tears of joy came to her eyes. Without even trying, she had lost more weight than she ever had by dieting.
She called Petal.
“Yes, Nelise, I’m sitting on the bench outside the store.”
“Oh gosh, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting!”
“It’s OK; I just got here a few minutes ago. I’m happy that you took some time to be good to yourself; you’ve earned it in more ways than one,” Petal said.
Nelise then realized she had not worked at changing her weight at all but if Petal had noticed, why hadn’t she said anything?
“Nelise, do you want to stop at the coffee house on the way home? I feel like celebrating a bit.”
“Of course we should,” Nelise readily agreed. She felt like she was in Garden at that moment. Perhaps MG might be right about Garden and out here being similar.
While they were waiting for the coffee, Nelise decided to ask the question. “Petal, did you notice I had lost more weight?”
“Oh yes, Nelise, for sure!”
“Why didn’t you say anything? Not that you have to, of course, but I’m wondering.”
“I thought if I did, I might cause you to go off your diet. One time my mom joined a weight loss group and lost quite a bit. The family supported her and congratulated her every time she did. She received many compliments from people around her and attracted more male attention than she had ever imagined. She couldn’t handle it and gained all her weight back plus some. I was very disappointed and upset with her and blamed myself and the rest of the family for her relapse. I didn’t want to be responsible for saying anything to you that might throw you off track as well. Do you understand?”
“I suppose so, and I thank you for that, but if I want to eat, nothing anyone could say could stop me; and if I don’t want to eat, nothing anyone might say could make me. It’s up to me, right? But thank you for being a good friend, Petal.”
“I am a good friend, aren’t I?” Petal said with a big smile of relief as she leaned expectantly towards Nelise, who promptly gave her an appreciative hug.
“Since I’m a good friend, tell me why you’re getting new clothes all of a sudden, hmmm? It can’t only be about the weight thing,” Petal said, looking through squinted eyes.
“I’m not going to divulge information about my personal life just because you are a good friend,” Nelise chuckled.
“Ha-ha, OK, have it your way but I know the truth,” Petal said with a smirk.
That night, Nelise sat in her chair and reconsidered why she had been thrown out of Garden the last time. I guess it was my doubt about Loyle. This time, I’d better keep my focus on how happy I feel right now; yes, that’s it.
“Nelise, how are you?” Esleen asked as they stood in front of the body shop. “You look a bit bubbly today!”
“I am, Esleen.”
“I’m glad to hear it!”
Nelise returned from the body shop with blonde hair, wearing a dress with yellow daisies, earrings and bracelets of gold, and poppy red lipstick. Of course, she was slender as always in Garden. She liked the way she looked as a blonde this time around. It wasn’t connected with the idea of seduction. Hmmm, I guess I’ve been judging blondes as hussies as much as I imagined they were judging me as a woman of weight.
“What’s on the agenda today, Nelise?”
“I want to swing on a wooden swing hanging by rope from an oak tree like I’ve seen in the movies.”
“Let’s go then. I haven’t seen one of those in a long time.” Esleen took Nelise’s arm and in moments, they came across a large oak tree next to a brook. Hanging from one of its branches was a wooden swing.
Nelise giggled with delight and ran to the swing. She quickly got it swinging higher and higher with each forward movement. Then she let it go by its own momentum, closed her eyes, and let her imagination go where it would. Suddenly, she felt the pr
esence of a man pushing the swing gently when it began slowing down. Although she could not see him, she felt that he was smiling and loving her and her heart fluttered happily. She enjoyed the attention and kept swinging until the sun began to set. When the swing stopped, she felt exhilarated and opened her eyes.
“Was that every bit as enjoyable as it looked?” asked Esleen, smiling.
“Completely! I’m sad that it’s over.”
“Nelise, it’s never over in Garden. You can enjoy that every time you come here if you want,” Esleen reminded her.
Nelise laughed. “That’s true; I forgot.”
“What’s next?” Esleen asked.
“Let’s find some chairs at a lake. I have more questions.”
When they were seated, Esleen looked over the water and waited for Nelise to talk.
“Esleen, what if I wanted to bring someone here with me; is that permitted?”
“Of course it is. You can bring anyone here you want as long as their presence lifts you up and brings joy to Garden.”
“Can I if the person doesn’t know I’m doing it, since I’m not supposed to tell anyone?”
“There is no way that could happen, Nelise.”
“Why not? It is my Garden, as you say, and I can’t tell anyone. So how would they know?”
“I am saying you cannot bring them here unless they are ready to be here. You’re welcome to try but don’t be surprised if they do not stay.”
“How can they refuse if they don’t know? And how can they agree if I cannot ask them?”
“It’s just that way,” Esleen said. “You can bring them here and if they stay, it is agreeable to them. If they don’t, you cannot force them, for if you try, you’ll be thrown out.”
“OK.”
“Anything else?”
“Yes. When I was swinging, I felt someone pushing me on the swing. I had the feeling it was a man but I didn’t see anyone. Did you?”
“No, I didn’t see anyone either, but I felt him there as well. You are in the process of attracting a mate but it is not clear who it is yet.”
You may not know who it is but I do, Nelise thought.
“That’s all I wanted to know, Esleen; I’m going to go now. I had a wonderful time,” Nelise said, making her exit before Esleen could respond.
Chapter 14
When Saturday morning rolled around, Nelise woke up to a bright sunny sky and her spirit was lifted. She made tea and tried on her new clothes before visiting Loyle, hoping he would ask her for a date. She wore black slacks, a long, purple top sprinkled down the front with colored sequins, and wrapped her braided hair around her head with a rainbow ribbon intertwined.
She perused the card aisle, found a couple of cards that tickled her fancy and brought them to the counter.
Loyle came in from outside.
“Hey, Nelise! What can I get for you today?”
“Hi, Loyle. I want a vanilla sundae with strawberries and whipped cream.”
“Sure. What have you been up to?” he asked, placing the sundae before her. He then made two coffees and sat down next to her.
“Won’t you get in trouble for sitting with the customers?”
“No, the boss just left for a business meeting and it’s been slow today. What’s with you? You look like you’re dressed for a date.”
“It’s a beautiful day so I dressed up a little. Anything new with you?” Mentally, she added, Yes, Loyle, I am hoping you’ll get the hint.
“No,” he said, sipping his coffee while she ate the ice cream.
A customer came in and Loyle quickly excused himself to wait on her. He then came back and sat down.
“Have you seen any good movies lately?” he asked.
“Not since we got back from my aunt’s. You?”
“No, this job doesn’t give me much time for that stuff but today I get off work at ten; do you want to catch the late show at the theater on Elm? I know it’s late and I’ll understand if you don’t want to.”
“I’d like that, Loyle. Shall I meet you here?”
“Since it will be so late, how about meeting up at the theater? I want to stop home first,” he said.
“OK then, see you about eleven?”
“That’s good, it will give us time to get popcorn; gotta go,” he said, tapping her hand. “This customer is here for the pharmacy. See you tonight.”
“All right,” Nelise said and whispered good-bye.
Dear Loyle, meeting at the theater was not what I had in mind but I can’t complain since you did finally ask me out. See, Esleen? I knew it was Loyle at the swing even if you didn’t.
After the movie, they went to an all-night diner.
“Was that a surprise ending or what?” Nelise asked while they waited for a waitress to take their order.
“It sure was. I’m usually good at knowing who the bad guy is but this time I was completely fooled,” Loyle agreed.
They were looking at the menu when a sweet voice from behind them said, “Hey Loyle, isn’t it past your bedtime?”
“Carmela, what are you doing out this late?” asked Loyle uneasily.
“Nothing wrong with a gal going to a movie by herself, is there? Especially when she has been turned down for a date,” she said, looking Nelise up and down. “At least I know you weren’t lying when you said you had one. Who’s your friend?” she asked.
“Nelise, this is my neighbor, Carmela,” Loyle said as if he were introducing a nosy little sister.
“Just a neighbor? I thought we were a little closer than that, Loyle,” Carmela replied slyly.
“OK, and a friend. Would you like to join us?” he asked grudgingly.
“Yes, please do,” Nelise said curtly to the intrusive, pretty woman of weight.
Carmela smiled mischievously.
“No, I’ll leave you guys to yourselves; I just stopped to get a snack to bring home. Thanks anyway. Nice to meet you, Denise.”
“Nice to meet you too.”
The name is Nelise. Ugh. What a doodah! Is this the type of woman he likes?
“Bye, Loyle, see you soon,” she said, flirtatiously swishing her full skirt as she left.
“Bye, Carmela,” Loyle responded drolly, looking back at the menu.
When Carmela was out of sight, Nelise looked down at her menu. As far as she was concerned, the date was over. Carmela had dampened her previously warm and fuzzy feelings.
“You know, I’m not really hungry since we had that popcorn,” she said.
“Don’t mind her, Nelise. When she has a date, I’m invisible. If I’m with somebody, she does her best to make them, and me, uncomfortable. I can’t get away from her though; she lives three houses down from me.”
“Really? She made it seem like you were a bit more special to each other than that.”
“Of course she did, that’s her way. I think she feels bad being single, especially since she asked me out and I told her I had plans. Often when I say I have plans, I don’t. Maybe now she’ll back off. I’m glad you were with me,” he said and squeezed Nelise’s hand briefly.
“Well, it’s pretty late; I should get home,” Nelise said.
They walked to the lot; he had parked next to her car. He opened her door and waited for her to get in. She rolled down her window.
“Thanks, Loyle; I enjoyed that.”
“I did too, Nelise. We’ll have to do it again. Get some sleep,” he said, patting the car and then turning to his car. She drove away after he was gone.
OK, that was not a date; that was a hang-out-with-a-friend thing, she grumbled. Well, what can I expect? He’s handsome, humorous, and friendly; and more popular than I thought. Still, why couldn’t he show just a little more interest in me rather than being glad Carmella saw me so she’ll stop bothering him? She abruptly pulled into an all-night convenience store and bought a quart of ice cream to help dull her frustration.
The phone was ringing as she came through the door. Thinking Loyle was making sure she reached ho
me safely at the late hour, she picked it up without looking at the caller ID.
“Hello?”
“Nelise, how are you lady?”
“Milton?”
“Yeah. I know it’s late but I was thinking of you and thought I’d see if you were still up.”
“You are calling me because you were thinking of me? Why? What do you want?”
“Is that very nice to say? I was checking up on you to see how you’re doing. Would you like some company?”
“No, I’m fine, and I don’t need any company. Goodbye, Milton.” Click.
Yes, that’s what I need, my ex-husband. Although Milt was what she would call a chubby slob, he had the big eyes, sweet face, and deep voice many women fell for, including her. She recalled how he used to phone her while they were separated and she was so lonely that she would succumb to his sweet talk and then hate herself in the morning when he was gone. She immediately lost her desire for ice cream. Is there a conspiracy to taint every little thing I had planned for myself tonight? Ugh!
I am way too annoyed to get into Garden now, she thought, and got ready for bed. I send you, Milton, to the Great Hall of Light and I wish you peace. She felt better and readied some clothes for church the next morning. His call reminded her she hadn’t been to church since their divorce. Because of her weight gain, she only frequented the places she had to: grocery, cobblers, work, and the drugstore.
Chapter 15
The next morning, she woke up too late for church. I guess I’ll stay home and clean instead, she decided. She sewed buttons on two of her blouses and began a crossword puzzle, then went to the kitchen to put water on for tea and saw the ice cream container sitting in a puddle on the counter. Now, that’s a first! I’ve never brought ice cream home and not eaten some of it, if not all of it! I’m going to Garden.
“Nelise, hi. How are you today?” Esleen asked pleasantly.