Andy clenched his fist. They would be disappointed. But they didn’t know the loss he’d endured. A loss so devastating, there was no way he could risk that again.
He had to keep his heart in check. To love as deeply as he’d loved Yellow Bird and his tiny daughter had nearly destroyed him. Never again. He pushed aside the longing and gathered a long, full breath in order to strengthen his resolve. Never, ever again.
Eleven
The children’s excitement was palpable as the town of Hobbs came into view. Hope’s anticipation matched theirs, but anxiety slowly replaced her eagerness as she observed the neatly puttogether townswomen walking along the boardwalks.
For the first time in months, Hope wondered about her appearance. Her mirror had long since broken, but she could only guess what a spectacle she made. How on earth could she possibly meet Andy’s family in this condition?
“What’s wrong?” Andy placed his hand on her arm.
“Oh, nothing.”
It never failed to amaze Hope how intuitive Andy could be at times. A wave of sadness washed over her. He had the potential to be a wonderful husband. But she’d resigned herself to the situation.
Andy took both reins in one hand and slipped his other arm around her. “Something’s wrong. If it’s about my family, you have no reason to worry.”
He released a shaky laugh, and Hope realized for the first time that he was nervous about seeing them again. “Believe me, they’ll love you and the children. I’m the one who’s likely to get a thrashing from one or both of my brothers and a sharp tongue lashing from my ma, and possibly my niece, since I didn’t bring her another Indian doll.”
“Well, you deserve it for not coming home in five whole years.”
With a chuckle, Andy gave her an affectionate, onearmed hug and returned the reins to both hands.
Hope released a heavy sigh. “I just feel so. . .” Loathe to whine about something as trivial as the need for a bath and a new dress, Hope left the sentence open and averted her gaze to the dusty street.
“I understand.”
In a few moments, the wagon pulled in front of a large twostory home. Andy hopped down and reached for Hope.
“I thought your family lived on a farm.”
“They do. It won’t hurt us to take an extra day to bathe and sleep in real beds before we go out to the farm.”
Tears of relief stung Hope’s eyes. “Do you think there are enough rooms available?”
“Only one way to find out.” He winked and strode up to the front door. A few moments later, the dowager who came to the door had agreed to rent them two rooms for the night. Baths and supper cost extra. But Hope gladly paid for them all.
Francis had chosen to hook up with a small train headed to California and was no longer with the little family, so Gregory and Billy shared a room; Hope, Lucille, and Betsy occupied the other. Andy declined the invitation to share the boys’ room.
“Where will you sleep?” Hope asked after he’d carried in her necessities for the night.
“I figure I’ll look up my brother, Hank, and bed down at his place. Unless you think the parsonage might cave in if such a sinner slept in one of its rooms.”
“Don’t be silly.” She smiled fondly at him. “Thank you for being so thoughtful, Andy. I’m looking forward to being clean.”
He nodded. “Will you be all right for the rest of the day and evening? Or should I come back and take you to supper? There’s a restaurant down the street.”
Hope wished he had come out and said he’d be back to take her to supper. She would have loved the opportunity to share their supper together in Andy’s hometown. But he apparently had other things on his mind.
“We’ll be fine. I imagine we will take our supper here at the boardinghouse.”
The process of bathing was a slow one. Water had to be heated and tossed out after each bath because the grime was so thick.
Mrs. Barker, the woman who owned the boardinghouse, obviously begrudged them every single bucketful, though she did seem pleased with their ability to pay for each bath.
By midafternoon, they were all clean and infinitely more comfortable than they’d been in months. When a knock sounded on the door, Hope assumed it was Mrs. Barker announcing supper, but a lovely woman stood there. She smiled, her green eyes twinkling in merriment. Several garments were slung over her arms.
“Hello. You must be Hope.”
“Why, y–yes, I am.” Clearly the woman had been sent. “What can I do for you?”
“My name’s Rosemary. I’m a friend of Andy Riley’s brother, Hank. Andy mentioned you might be needing some gowns. I just happen to own a dress shop. Isn’t that a happy coincidence?” She gave a merry laugh.
Hope smiled. “It’s wonderful.”
The woman’s friendly smile widened. “May I come in?”
“Please do.” Hope opened the door further.
“Thank you.” She walked to the bed and dumped the entire armload.
“I’m afraid I don’t have anything for a child,” she said, giving Betsy a worried frown.
Betsy’s face drooped. “That’s okay, ma’am,” she murmured.
Hope smiled. “May I procure your services, Miss Rosemary? We all need new clothes.”
“Yes, you may. It just so happens that I am fresh out of orders for now.”
“Ma. . .”
At the sound of Billy’s dreadfilled voice, Hope smiled.
“Run along and find your brother.” Relief washed his features.
Hope and Rosemary exchanged grins. It didn’t take much to figure out the boy had dreaded the thought of being forced to stay in the room.
After he disappeared through the door, closing it behind him with a loud bang, Hope turned to Rosemary. “Maybe you can take Betsy’s measurements while you’re here and make her the first dress. Let’s see, we’ll need at least two serviceable gowns for Lucille and myself. And a couple of Sunday dresses each. W–will that be enough, do you think?”
The woman flashed a dimple, and Hope had a momentary spark of longing. Why couldn’t she be beautiful like other women? Would Andy think Rosemary was lovely?
If he did, who could blame him?
The woman gave her an innocent, wideeyed look and such a genuine smile, Hope felt foolish for her jealousy.
“I think five each will be plenty. Would you like to take a look at the gowns on the bed? You might find something to your liking among them.” Rosemary rummaged through the gowns on the bed until she found the one she’d apparently been looking for, as evidenced by her smile of satisfaction. She gathered it by the shoulder fabric and held it up. “Oh, yes. Dark blue is going to look lovely on you.”
Hope gave the gown a dubious look and sighed. Nothing was going to look “lovely” on her. The most she could hope for was passable.
“You don’t like it?” Rosemary’s disappointed tone captured Hope’s attention from her maudlin thoughts. Hope nodded. “Of course. I’m sorry. It’s a beautiful gown. Do you think it’s going to be long enough for me? I am rarely able to buy readymade dresses without alterations.”
Rosemary sized her up. “Hmmm, you’re rather tall, aren’t you? But that shouldn’t be a problem if you leave off a hoop.”
Hope laughed. “I haven’t worn a hoop in five months. I’m not sure I even remember how to sit in one.”
“You’ll find the women around here are typically very practical. They dress in a proper manner, but practicality is much more important than fashion. It just so happens, this gown was ordered by a young bridetobe whose engagement was called off at the last minute. The young woman held out the blue gown. “How about if you try this on while I start measuring Miss Betsy, here?” She winked at the little girl, eliciting a bright grin.
Hope took the gown and moved behind a privacy screen situated in the corner of the room.
“Do you and Andy plan to farm close to Michael and Star?” Rosemary asked, as she pulled out a tape measure and began taking meas
urements.
Hope felt her cheeks warm. She’d been anticipating the first questions about their plans, but thought she’d have another day at least. Neither she nor Andy had brought up the subject of how they would explain their arrangement. “We, uh, Andy mentioned building on land he has already. I assume it’s close to his brother. I am looking forward to learning how to farm.”
That seemed to satisfy the seamstress. She smiled. “Let’s start with this one. I may have to take it up a bit.”
For the next hour, the women concentrated on tacking the gowns where they were a bit big on both Lucille and Hope.
Each of the weary women came away with two dresses, despite Lucille’s protest that Hope should keep all four. But Hope wouldn’t dream of it. Lucille had been worth her weight in gold. Hope planned to put her up in the boardinghouse until Andy finished building their home, then Lucille would come to cook for them.
After the fittings and Rosemary’s expert sewing skills took care of the mildly illfitting gowns, they ate a delicious meal of roasted chicken, potatoes, and carrots. Fresh bread topped the list of foods they’d done without for months. But best of all, Mrs. Barker had baked a fresh apple pie.
No one wanted the meal to end. When every morsel was cleaned from the table, Mrs. Barker finally proclaimed her kitchen officially closed. She seemed gruff, but Hope could tell the woman relished the compliments and declarations of pure joy at the fare she’d set before her flavorstarved boarders.
By the time Hope settled into bed that night, Betsy beside her and Lucille on a cot, her mind whirled with the events of the day. Rolling into Hobbs with Andy at her side, a real bath, new clothes, a wonderful supper, and now a soft bed. She smiled into the darkness. She wasn’t sure she’d want to get out of bed in the morning. But she knew she’d have to. Andy was anxious to see his ma.
Tension suddenly clutched her stomach as she remembered that tomorrow she’d be meeting her motherinlaw for the first time. What would the woman think when she learned the nature of her relationship with her son?
Squeezing her eyes tightly, she tried in vain to force herself to drift to sleep, but despite the feather bed, she couldn’t still her mind. So much had changed since they’d set out on their journey last spring. So much. She’d changed. For one thing, she believed in God now.
How could she not after all the miracles He’d performed during the journey? And not just for her and her children. She’d seen the pioneers beat the odds over and over and, more often than not, the results could only be attributed to something greater than human effort.
Andy’s unwitting prophecy concerning Gregory had come to pass. The boy had changed so much that Hope barely recognized the same child. Not only had he grown physically, he had truly changed. Where it counted the most. In his heart.
Grateful tears slipped from her eyes and wet the hair at her temples. Every hardship had been worth it for this end result.
She tried not to think about what would happen once winter ended and Andy left. Sometimes she could kick herself for giving him that early out. Why hadn’t she hung on for the full year? Every moment with him was that much longer that he might, just might, fall in love with her and decide to stay with them forever.
Flopping over onto her stomach, she breathed out a frustrated sigh. If she didn’t stop thinking foolish thoughts that would never, ever come true and get some sleep, she’d meet Andy’s family with bags under her eyes and look even more hideous than ever.
Listening to Betsy’s even breathing lulled Hope to a state of relaxation, and the last thing she wondered before she drifted to sleep was whether or not Andy was ashamed to introduce her as his bride. Was that why he’d left her at a boardinghouse while he went to his brother’s home?
❧
Andy could feel Hope’s apprehension, and it was starting to make him nervous. Hank had sent word to Ma and Michael and Star last night that Andy was home and would be bringing his new family out today. He hadn’t had the heart to tell Hank the truth of the matter—that Hope had essentially hired him to be her husband and would set him free, if not legally, then certainly morally.
Andy already knew that his mother would be mortified, Hank disapproving, and Michael downright disgusted at the arrangement. For the first time, he wondered if perhaps they shouldn’t tell the family. Hope was going to have enough adjusting to do without bearing the brunt of family speculation.
“Hope. I have an idea.”
“Oh?” Hope turned to him, her silky eyebrows lifted. Her blue eyes were twice as vibrant as usual. Andy had to admit she looked quite attractive in her new blue gown and bonnet.
Forcing his mind back to the topic at hand, he leaned in a little closer so the children who sat in the back wouldn’t overhear them. The day before he had removed the canvas and had replaced the nearly dead oxen with a pair of fresh horses. He figured they made quite a domestic picture. Ma, Pa, and youngsters all going to Grandma’s house. The picture excited him and disturbed him all at once.
“What is it, Andy?”
“Look. I don’t want my family asking a lot of questions. I. . . what do you think of just keeping our arrangement between the two of us?”
“They’re going to find out sooner or later anyway.”
He scowled. “Better later than sooner as far as I’m concerned.”
“I won’t lie to keep you from being uncomfortable. But as long as no one asks me, I won’t volunteer the information.”
A smile tipped his lips. He reached out and covered her hand. “Thank you.”
Andy’s heart leapt at the first sight of Ma standing outside the log cabin home. Andy appraised the cabin. It appeared Michael had added a room since Andy had been here last. He wondered what reception he’d get from his sisterinlaw, Star. He’d insulted her when he’d last visited home. As a matter of fact, his words had caused a scuffle with Michael. Andy had left the next day. According to Hank, Michael and Star had married that winter. The following year, Star had borne Michael a son. She now carried their second child.
The news had caused Andy a restless night, dreaming about Yellow Bird and their child. Would he ever be free?
Feeling Hope tense beside him, he came back to the present. And to his ma’s beaming face. He stepped down and before he knew it, Ma was in his arms, weeping for what Andy hoped was joy.
“It’s so good to see you, son.” Her words were muffled against his shoulder and he could feel her plump body shudder with sobs.
She pulled away. Andy produced a handkerchief and pressed it into her hand. She wiped at her eyes and nose then grasped each of his upper arms. “Let me look at you.” Andy squirmed a bit under her scrutiny. Her brow furrowed in worry.
There were more lines in her face than he remembered, and he couldn’t help but wonder with more than a little guilt if he was the cause.
“Are you going to introduce me to your new family?”
“Huh? Oh! Of course.” Heat seared Andy’s ears. He turned to the wagon where Hope still sat. Shame slithered through him. He should have helped her down before he even embraced his ma.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, pulling her a little closer than necessary. Her eyes lit with surprised as she looked up at him.
“It’s all right, Andy. I didn’t mind.”
He took her hand and led her to his mother. “Ma, this is Hope, my. . .uh. . .wife.”
Tears sprang once more into Ma’s eyes. She stood between Andy and Hope and looked between them. “I just knew when you found the right woman you’d finally come home.” Hope seemed stunned to find herself suddenly cradled in Ma’s embrace. Her eyes grew wide as she looked at Andy over Ma’s shoulder.
Andy grinned. That was his ma. A mother to all.
“Can we get down now, Ma?”
Billy’s impatient voice broke the emotional moment, and Ma pulled away with a laugh. “Yes, you may come over here and meet your new Grammy.”
Predictably, the children and Ma formed an instant bond. Andy’s c
hest swelled and he suddenly felt as though he truly had come home.
Twelve
“I’m sorry? You want us to. . . ?” Hope nearly choked on a bite of venison roast as she stared across the table at her motherinlaw.
“Stay here while your house is built, of course.” The lady looked back at her with brows furrowed. “Where else did you intend to stay?”
“I thought, well, I hadn’t really thought about it. The boardinghouse, I suppose.”
“And subject the children to Mrs. Barker’s ridiculous rules? The woman allows bathing only on Saturdays. She won’t abide talking loud enough for her to hear past seven o’clock because she retires early. Can your children whisper all evening? And if you are ten minutes late for breakfast, she refuses to serve you. Isn’t that right, Star?”
Star Riley, Michael’s wife, nodded, her beautiful violetcolored eyes sparkling in amusement. “That isn’t the half of it. Believe me, you’re better off staying here.”
“Oh, but we couldn’t put you out, could we, Andy?”
He’d been so busy shoveling food into his mouth, Hope doubted he’d heard a word his mother had said. If he had, he certainly didn’t seem too concerned. Hope gave him a sound kick under the table.
By his pained expression, she realized she might have applied more force than necessary.
“What were you saying?” he asked, but Hope could tell by his tooinnocent expression that he knew exactly what they were saying. Her temper flared at his cowardice. He just thought he’d weasel his way out of having to confront it like a man. Why did even the manliest of men turn into a sniveling child when it meant standing up to his ma?
“Your mother invited us to stay here while the house is being built.”
“Yes,” Mrs. Riley said in a definitive tone. “It’s much more convenient. Besides the practical matter of saving money on the boardinghouse, you will only be a couple of miles from the building site. It’s not reasonable to go back and forth to town each day.”
Andy caught Hope’s attention, clearly won over by his mother’s logic. Glowering, Hope gave him another kick.
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