by S M Mala
It was Keith looking very pissed and hostile.
Mabel didn’t know whether to turn around and run back or stand her ground.
‘What do you want?’ she asked, reaching in her bag to see if she could use her large bunch of keys, should he come at her.
They were lethal when she occasionally dropped them on her foot. She was hoping it would have the same effect if she had to use them on his face.
‘Looking into all the accounts; cross-checking the money. Not keeping your ugly little nose out of things. You should have stopped while you were ahead. Making out we tried to cheat the agency.’
‘You did,’ she said, standing up to him. ‘What you guys did is break your contractual agreement and line your pockets.’
‘It wasn’t that much!’
‘Just looking at the lunches you had in the name of your companies, I understand the vast expense,’ she said, glancing at his fat gut and red, sweaty face. ‘Go away!’
‘You shafted me you little slag,’ he said, walking closer then throwing her against the wall. The pain shot through her back and she felt her skin felt scrape against the brick. ‘You’re nothing but a stupid meddling fucking cow, and I’m going to teach you a lesson!’
‘And I’ll get you arrested for assault.’
‘It would be bloody well worth it. Everyone knows you fucked Lee Appleton, and that’s how you got the business. You’re going to get what you deserve, and that agency is going to close down!’
‘Where the hell did you hear that?’ she asked, feeling her heart thunder.
‘Imagine if it slips out that precious Wyatt Haynes have to get their old slags to fuck clients and blackmail them.’
‘That’s a bloody lie you arsehole! At least I never had to sleep with an ugly fat fucker like you! I pity Sonia, I really do!’
‘You-.’
Then she saw the fat fist coming towards her face.
Keith suddenly went flying, landing on the pavement.
‘Don’t you fucking well lay a finger on her, you hear?’ Alex was standing over him, looking the angriest she had ever seen him. ‘I’m going to report you to the police and advise our lawyers. See how that goes down?’
Keith then got to his feet, wobbling and tried to charge at Alex. All that happened is Alex held him at arm’s length by the head. The man’s short arms flew punches into the air. Then he pushed him back, as he fell to the floor.
‘Let’s go!’
Alex grabbed her hand and pulled her into the first available cab that came down the road.
She was shaking due to shock, plus her back felt sore.
‘Did he hurt you?’ he asked, grabbing her face and anxiously examining it. ‘Did he lay a finger on you?’
‘He pushed me against the wall.’
He turned her around.
‘Your dress is ruined and there’s a small graze, nothing major.’
‘Oh!’ she said before bursting out into tears. ‘He’s such shit!’
‘May Day,’ he whispered. ‘What am I going to do with you?’
‘It stings.’
Alex had taken her to his flat and was wiping her back with antiseptic wipes. Sitting on the toilet seat, he was trying to be gentle. ‘Ow!’
Her dress was unzipped at the back as he dabbed away.
‘Sip this.’
He handed her a large glass of Cointreau.
Mabel took a massive gulp, feeling the burn in her throat and the fumes of orange coming out of her nose.
‘I better go home,’ she moaned. ‘I’ve got a wrap to cover the dress.’
Then she felt his lips on her back.
‘What are you doing?’ Mabel couldn’t breathe, knowing the senses in her body were alive when he touched her. ‘You can’t do that.’
‘I’m kissing it better.’
‘Please Alex, this isn’t right.’
‘Will you let me talk?’ he whispered in her ear. She felt him breathing onto her skin. ‘Then you can go.’
Standing up, he took her hand and walked her towards the sofa, sitting Mabel down. Alex grabbed a footstool, sat on it and faced her.
‘Mabel, listen to me,’ he said, grabbing her hands. ‘I told you a long time ago I found it hard to love. It was something I was very wary of. I’ve had a few disastrous relationships, including my marriage.’
‘I know.’
‘You find it so easy, telling me you loved me within days of us getting together. I didn’t think about it, but then I realised you meant it. It was so simple for you.’
‘Alex, I don’t want to hear it, okay?’ she said, pulling her hands away. ‘You made your decision.’
‘Don’t you think I don’t know how upset you were? Do you think I did it at a drop of a hat?’
‘You pre-empted it?’ She had to look away, as his honesty was hurting her. ‘I wish you told me that you didn’t feel the same.’ Then Mabel looked at him. ‘But you made out you could feel the same and that’s all I was hoping for. You should have told me there was no chance.’
‘Then what would you have done?’
‘Walked away. Protected my heart from getting hurt again.’ She looked around and saw his bed, wondering how many women he had made love to since they split. ‘I want to go home.’
‘I hate the idea Bob Jones and Lee Appleton touched you. You don’t know how it feels and-.’
‘You think I relish knowing you preferred to fuck someone else than to tell me the relationship was over?’ she angrily replied, her eyes filling with tears. ‘How horrible did that make me feel? Then seeing you with her a few days later. All loved up as if I didn’t matter. As if we never happened. You treated me like shit when I thought you wouldn’t do that.’
‘Mabel.’
‘You flaunted it to make me see I wasn’t worth it, and you never cared. There’s nothing you can say; don’t you get it? I don’t know why you’re telling me this.’
‘Because,’ he said, grabbing her face. ‘I miss you so much; it’s killing me. I can’t sleep. You won’t speak to me, and when I try, you walk away.’
‘Do you blame me?’
‘No, I don’t blame you. I got so scared Mabel when I realised how much you loved me. I was frightened, can’t you see?’
‘Why are you saying this?’
‘I was scared I was going to fuck it all up so I decided to stop it before I could.’
‘I scared you off, didn’t I?’
‘How I feel about you scares me. Listen to what’s playing in the background,’ Alex whispered, moving close.
And she heard Al Green’s ‘Loving You’.
‘That’s how I feel,’ he gulped. ‘I can’t explain. I know it’s going to take time, but you must forgive me. I want you to love me again.’
‘You broke my heart.’
‘And don’t you think I broke mine in the process?’
‘Do you want some painkillers?’
They were lying on his bed in the early hours of the morning.
Mabel was reeling from what happened.
Alex cried in her arms, and it hurt her to hear his pain.
And she didn’t know what to do because Mabel was unsure if he was thinking straight.
But it was she that broke down, and cried the hardest, as Mabel didn’t know what to think.
‘I’m okay,’ she eventually replied.
They were facing each other, not touching and he looked tired.
Neither one could sleep.
‘Are you alright?’ she asked, staring into his red-rimmed eyes. ‘The last time I saw you so upset was when your dad passed away. Is there anything I can do?’
‘Hold me.’
Reaching out, she gently took him in her arms, not sure what she was doing, and cradled Alex as if he was one of her children. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer and they stayed in that position until she fell asleep.
When Mabel woke, he was still there, sleeping silently in her arms. She kissed his head and gently l
et him go. She didn’t expect him to hold onto her tightly, unable to be released.
‘I need to go to the toilet,’ she whispered.
Slowly Alex opened his eyes.
‘Mabel, take me back. I’ll never walk away from you again,’ he whispered, looking pleadingly at her. ‘I made a terrible mistake.’
‘What happens if you change your mind again?’
‘I’m more worried you’ve changed yours.’
Gently kissing his cheek, she went to stand and realised her back ached, making her wince.
‘Shit let me get you some tablets.’
‘I need to go for a pee.’
Alex got up and helped her walk to the bathroom.
‘I think my poor body keeps getting battered,’ she said, hobbling into the bathroom. ‘That fat arse had the weight behind him.’
She closed the door and went to the toilet, before seeing he had kept her toothbrush. Taking some toothpaste, she brushed her teeth.
When she walked out, he was standing in the kitchen waiting for the kettle to boil.
‘Look at us. I’ve got a ripped dress, and you’re all creased.’ Mabel grinned. ‘It looks like we had a good night.’
There was a weary smile in response as he looked at her.
‘Tell me if you don’t love me, please,’ he asked gulping. ‘Just say.’
Slowly she walked towards him, seeing the pain killers and a glass of water. Mabel took a couple. Then she noticed he swallowed some too. Reaching out, she stroked his bruised knuckle.
‘My hero,’ she whispered.
‘I want to be more than that,’ he replied, kissing her forehead. ‘Sit at the table and I’ll bring you some tea.’
He arrived with two cups and sat next to her, stroking her hair then face.
‘What do you want me to do?’ he asked, moving closer. ‘I’ll do anything.’
‘I’m confused enough as it is.’
‘I’m so sorry,’ he said, placing his head against hers. She could feel his breath on her skin. ‘I never meant to hurt you and me in the process, never. And God I’m hurting.’
Mabel kissed his lips gently but when he tried to lunge in, she pulled back.
‘One step at a time, okay?’ she whispered. ‘Just how you like it.’
He nodded and closed his eyes, letting his lips travel all over her face.
Then she remembered what was in her bag.
Jumping up to her feet, she hobbled towards it, before returning to the table
‘Can I borrow your laptop?’ she asked.
‘Sure’, he said, looking a little confused and pushing it forward before getting up. ‘Help yourself.’
Looking at the files on the USB, she started clicking, and moved closer to the screen.
There was a list of women and contact information. Their likes and dislikes in bed, and dates beside them. She clicked on a video file, and Lee was having sex with a woman.
Mabel immediately knew it was the same bedroom as she had been in.
She was in shock.
Reading Lee’s notes on each woman, he had done a thorough research on everyone.
The only file she hadn’t touched was labelled ‘Mabel D’.
There were also other folders dated from when he started the website, all kept in year order.
That’s when she realised he was like a groomer for adult women, and she was going to have to stop it, somehow.
‘You’re stuck to me.’
Mabel could feel Alex’s skin against her own when they were in the Jacuzzi at the gym, an hour later. ‘I’m still thinking about you and me.’
‘Us?’
‘I’m thinking.’
He hadn’t left her side; taking her home and getting her swim things.
Then they walked together in silence.
Now they sat in silence.
She turned to look at him, and he kissed her lips, looking into her eyes.
‘I want to be with you, and I’m willing to wait,’ he whispered. ‘I know you don’t have a forgiving nature when you’ve been hurt.’
‘Should I forgive you?’
‘You know I didn’t mean it.’
‘But you did it.’
‘When you found out I resigned, you looked upset,’ he said, getting agitated. ‘I couldn’t face upsetting you more.’
‘And you think that’s the only thing that upset me that morning? Lee visited me unexpectedly, and it threw me that he knew where I lived.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ she replied sarcastically. ‘Because that’s when you decided to dump me.’
‘I hate that word ‘dumped’.’
‘Personally, I think it expresses what happened very well.’
She watched Alex close his eyes, resting his cheek on her shoulder then looking up at her.
‘I would have wanted you to meet my dad. He was my best friend, and I miss him. It hurts, and I’m trying to work through it.’
‘Alex,’ she whispered, noticing the pained expression.
‘You love someone, and they leave you or let you down,’ he continued. ‘I never forgot that feeling when I was little when my mum left me. A panic in my gut, being so scared I didn’t know what to do. When I was fostered, I felt afraid people would change their mind. After I had left a few places, I became resilient to liking people; keeping them at arm’s length. It took a long time for me to trust my foster mum and dad, but the way I felt never changed. It became hard for me to fall in love.’
‘What do you want from me?’
‘Love,’ he said, turning to look at her. ‘Not having your love hurts far more than I ever imagined. And not having you close to me. I’ve been in hell, so you know.’
‘While having women in your bed?’ she asked, hating the idea.
‘You’re the only woman I’ve had in my bed since we split. I didn’t want anyone else. I realised that on the Friday you saw me and Lauren together.’
Mabel closed her eyes, shaking her head from side to side.
‘I don’t believe you,’ she said, taking a deep breath. ‘You said that you and Lauren-.’
‘No, you said. I was shocked you thought it, but I could see you were upset. Then I decided I’d give it a few weeks but you turned cold, and now here we are.’
‘I don’t know,’ she honestly replied. ‘I told you at the beginning there are three children involved. When you’re a parent, you can’t bring people into their lives. I don’t want to be unfair on them.’
‘Are you saying there’s no chance you’ll take me back?’ He looked crushed. ‘I’ve fallen for you; I never lied about that. I wish you’d believe me.’
‘I wish you wouldn’t look so sad. Maybe you’re my test on how I have to change.’
‘Then change, so we stay together.’
‘You have to make changes too, Alex, not just me.’
‘I realise that.’
‘I don’t have such a forgiving heart, so be prepared.’
They left the gym and walked back to her house, this time holding hands, but still not speaking. He followed her inside.
Mabel turned to him, kissing his cheek and stroking his stubble.
‘What now?’ he asked. ‘Do you want to go to breakfast?’
‘McDonalds?’ Mabel grinned and moved closer. ‘What do you want to do?’
‘I want to be with you.’
She took a deep breath because she knew what he meant.
Kicking off their trainers, both walked upstairs to her bedroom.
Mabel closed the door.
Separately they undressed on either side of the bed and went under the duvet, looking at each other but not touching.
‘I want you, nobody else. Just you,’ Alex whispered, reaching out to kiss her nose.
He then suddenly moved closer and grabbed her in his arms, pulling her towards his body, then rolling on top.
She looked up at him, wondering what he was thinking.
The
n he kissed her very gently, pushing down the duvet so both their naked bodies were exposed.
Mabel felt his tongue reach out for her, and she yearned for the man though she was scared he’d only let her down again.
They kissed.
It felt like for the first time, and her heart told her so many things her head would have fought against.
Like taking back someone who broke your heart.
She wasn’t sure if that was the way to mend it.
His hands were exploring her body, gently touching and caressing, while he kissed her.
‘Hold me,’ he said, breaking the kiss. ‘I want to be in your arms.’
And she realised Alex seemed needy, which wasn’t like him at all.
Wrapping her arms around him, she felt his body press against hers, as she opened her legs, knowing he wanted to make love immediately.
She kissed his face, stroked his back and held him close.
Then he pushed inside, making her groan from the quick orgasm as their skin touched. He looked at her and both their bodies rocked together.
The pools of his brown eyes seemed loving and kind.
He moved faster.
Her orgasm was quicker than usual as she came underneath him and kissed his sweet lips. Alex held her face and was looking at her.
‘Tell me,’ he whispered, moving slowly. ‘Tell me how you feel.’
She couldn’t do it again. Expose her feelings when she wasn’t sure.
‘I want to hear it,’ Alex pleaded.
‘If you know me well enough, I don’t have to say.’
‘You mean everything to me,’ he said, kissing her gently.
Then he came and Mabel realised that was the closest she would ever get to hear him say he loved her.
And that’s all she could really expect.
But she wondered if that was still enough.
‘That’s what Bob said.’
They were sitting in their local pub, having lunch. ‘I’m not sure what Lee has got planned for me. How’s your hand?’
She examined the small bruising on his knuckles.
Mabel made up her mind not to tell him about the information she had received about Lee, taking upon herself to sort it out.