Hard to Love

by S M Mala

  ‘Oh no!’ laughed Jess, shaking her head. ‘That’s where the flowers came from today. He said you had been ill this week and he was sorry to hear it. I said you were lazy, more to the point.’

  ‘You didn’t send the orange blossom?’ Mabel asked Alex. ‘I thought-.’

  ‘What was this man’s name?’ Alex asked, touching Mabel’s shoulder.

  ‘Lee,’ said Lottie, looking up before pushing her bowl away. ‘He said he was a friend of yours, and yours too Alex.’

  That was the first time Mabel felt real fear about Lee Appleton.

  ‘You held it together well.’

  Alex was lying in her bed, later that night. He had been wonderful, covering up for Mabel’s initial horror. Soon as the girls went to bed, she slung the flowers in the bin. ‘He’s not that stupid to approach them. They’re both under sixteen.’

  ‘You don’t speak to someone’s children!’ Mabel was pacing the bedroom.

  ‘I sort of did through Rose so they’d forgive me.’

  ‘That’s different. You’re not trying to blackmail me into sex.’

  ‘Can I try?’ He smiled, sitting back against the headboard.

  ‘What do I say? Ex-boyfriend they never met? Old friend, which he isn’t?’

  ‘Come to bed,’ he whispered, flinging back the covers, unveiling his naked torso. ‘Tomorrow morning we’ll speak to Lottie and Jess.’

  ‘And say what?’

  ‘They’re not to speak to strangers, especially him.’

  ‘But he said he knows you.’ Mabel bit her lip. ‘Alex, do you think he’s been spying on me all this time? If so, he’ll know I’ve seen you. Oh God! That’s why he’s been making lots of contact. He must know we split and that’s why I’ve been upset.’

  ‘You told him?’

  ‘I said I wasn’t in a good place.’ She darted him a glance. ‘What does he think he can gain from this?’

  ‘Switch off the light, check the door is locked and come to bed. You need to tell me what you’ve been up to.’

  ‘And now you’re in my bed! What sort of message am I giving my girls?’

  ‘That you love me.’

  ‘But you hurt my feelings and I was upset. Now I’m saying it’s okay to forgive someone who has behaved like an utter bastard!’

  ‘May Day, enough.’

  Mabel slid next to him, ready to give her next speech.

  ‘I’ve been-.’

  He pounced on her, smothering her mouth with a kiss while pushing his tongue through her lips.

  Mabel had to catch her breath.

  ‘Stop,’ she gently said, pushing him away. ‘We need to talk.’

  ‘I’ve not been in close proximity with you since Tuesday, and then you wouldn’t let me make love to you. Can it wait?’

  ‘Alex?’ Mabel looked at him, seeing the pent up sexual frustration. ‘You already have gone faster than the speed of sound in one week.’ Then she frowned. ‘I don’t want Lee to find out, okay?’

  She watched his puzzled expression.

  ‘If he’s trying to suss out my vulnerabilities, I want him to think he can manipulate me. Right now he could know you’re in my bed.’

  ‘Are you saying you want me to go?’

  ‘I don’t want you to go, but I want you to help me set the record straight.’

  ‘How are you going to do that?’

  ‘Can I borrow some of your time when you do the shoot next week?’ Mabel watched him looking confused. ‘I only need an hour after it’s set up, and I’ll get the money to cover it.’

  ‘What are you up to?’ he asked, taking her face in his hands. ‘Can’t you trust me?’

  Kissing his nose, she smiled.

  ‘Did anyone else know about us? I told Iona, the girls, mum and Calum.’

  He rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling.

  ‘Mum, Francesca, Rose and a few friends.’

  ‘Anyone from work?’

  ‘Lauren but she wouldn’t say anything,’ he smiled and turned to face her. ‘We didn’t sleep together, no matter what you think.’

  Mabel examined his lovely face and thought hard for a moment.

  ‘And you worked together at your last agency?’ she asked, kissing his chest, seeing him smile. ‘Did she know Lee?’

  ‘We all knew Lee. We couldn’t take on some of his businesses because they clashed with current clients. Why are you asking?’

  ‘Nothing.’

  ‘Are you unsure of me?’ Alex started to look upset. ‘May Day, I’ve told you I’m sorry. It’s been such a long time since I felt like this, and then it went wrong. I-.’

  She kissed him gently on the lips, looking into his eyes.

  ‘Alex, I know.’ Then she grinned mischievously. ‘Be careful you don’t come across as needy, okay?’

  ‘Why do you want to come along on Friday?’

  Lauren was stood behind Mabel in the queue to get coffee on Monday.

  The woman had hardly said two words to her since coming in, and now she was starting up a conversation.

  ‘I’m interested, that’s all.’ Mabel turned and smiled.

  ‘You’re not supposed to be working on the account. Why’s that?’

  ‘Because I’m sceptical about the product.’ She looked up at the beautiful woman, not wanting to imagine Alex making love to her, but the thought couldn’t be pushed away. ‘I know internet dating works, but it bugs me.’

  ‘You didn’t get any responses did you?’ Lauren looked at her as if unsure whether to ask. ‘Or did you?’

  ‘You know I didn’t,’ she replied, wondering why she would ask.

  ‘With all the flowers you’ve been receiving, you have a secret admirer.’

  ‘Yeah,’ Mabel sighed, turning to the young woman behind the counter. ‘Skinny cappuccino please?’ Then smiled at Lauren. ‘Not so secret. Just someone I met.’

  ‘That’s nice.’ Then she hesitated. ‘And you and Alex?’

  ‘Something silly.’ Mabel waited for her coffee. ‘It was a nice interlude.’

  She didn’t want to say anymore.

  Mabel got her coffee and walked to the table.

  Then to her surprise, Lauren followed and sat opposite.

  ‘You don’t mind, do you?’ Lauren asked.

  ‘Not at all. You’ve known Alex for ages.’

  ‘We’ve worked together on and off for the past four years. We have a good relationship.’

  ‘And you know Lee Appleton?’

  ‘He had his clothing account at the agency. We saw him out and about. Why do you ask?’

  ‘No reason.’

  ‘I hear he seems to like you.’

  Mabel looked directly at Lauren, who smiled.

  ‘How would you know that? I’ve only met him on a handful of occasions,’ Mabel replied, watching the woman toss her perfect Afro as she looked uncomfortable. ‘Unless you know different. Do you?’ Crossing her arms, she looked challengingly at Lauren. ‘I’m very dubious of people who know Lee Appleton. Keith did, and he seems to know things he shouldn’t.’

  ‘I better go,’ she said, getting up quickly.

  ‘Do you know Lee Appleton better than you’re saying?’

  ‘I can’t talk.’

  ‘Because if you do, I need to know.’

  Lauren walked quickly off, and Mabel took a deep breath.

  The woman wasn’t telling her something or she was trying to find out information.

  Getting up slowly, she walked back to her desk and turned her laptop so no-one could see. She hadn’t gone through all the files and sat there wondering if there was more to it.

  Clicking through, she opened the folders from three years previous. Her stomach turned on seeing the list of women and his descriptions on what they liked, and dates of the liaisons.

  The man was a trophy hunter.

  Then she spotted the name.

  Lauren Biggs.

  Mabel looked up at the woman walking around the office.

  ‘It cou
ld be you’re the link, Lauren,’ Mabel whispered. ‘And poor Alex doesn’t even have a clue.’

  The man in question was walking towards her office, stopping to flirt with whoever before entering her office.

  ‘Everyone is getting paranoid that you want to turn up for a shoot on your half day off,’ he said, smiling. ‘Did I tell you, you look more beautiful each time I see you?’

  ‘Stop it,’ she whispered. ‘People can hear and this place has glass walls.’ Mabel eyed him up and down. ‘And you look okay.’

  ‘We’re not spending enough time together.’

  ‘We spent too much time together before. I think it’s best we limit things.’

  He went closer and leaned forward.

  ‘I’m missing you so much right now; I nearly broke my cock having a wank in the shower this morning.’ She laughed. ‘And I want to be with you.’

  ‘Let’s make sure you’re sure about it.’

  ‘I was sure.’ Alex’s smile slipped. ‘I’m more than sure.’ He sat in a chair near her desk. ‘May Day, you know Lee might be at the shoot, don’t you? He likes to turn up. What do you want to film?’

  ‘It’s a little something fun for my team,’ she said, smiling sweetly at him.

  ‘Can’t I stick around?’ he asked, looking sadly at her. ‘I want to help.’

  ‘You can stick it in me later Friday,’ she grinned, watching his eyes widen. ‘The girls are going to Granny Baba.’

  ‘What a waste of food!’

  They were in a large studio on Friday and Mabel was sat in the corner with Tommy. She was looking at the uneaten snacks. ‘And I hate shoots. They’re so boring.’

  ‘Everyone thinks you’re up to something,’ he whispered. ‘Even Heidi tried to grill me for information.’

  ‘I’m observing.’

  And she was.

  Alex’s backside.

  Sex was oozing from every pore of the man as he spoke to the director and crew. She had never seen him work before but knew watching him made her want to screw him within an inch of his life.

  Occasionally, he would look over and smile.

  Then her heart would flutter but she was playing it cool.

  She had to because if he got wind what she was up to, he might change his mind about seeing her again.

  But it was a risk she was willing to take.

  And as if something was going to rain on her parade, he walked in flanked by two women.

  Lee Appleton, all sharp and dapper, appeared shaking hands with all and sundry.

  Mabel’s blood boiled by just looking at him.

  She realised he had no boundaries.

  The shoot would wrap in an hour, and the last thing she wanted was to be cornered by him.

  Discreetly getting up, she noticed Alex frown so took a moment to call Iona.

  ‘And everything is sorted?’ she asked her friend, who sounded breathless. ‘What are you doing?’

  ‘I’m running around like a blue arse fly. You’re sure the coast will be clear?’

  ‘All sorted. Just turn up.’ She hesitated. ‘Thank you for doing this. I appreciate it.’

  ‘If it gets you out of a hole, then it’s not a problem.’ Iona sighed. ‘And talking about holes, has the creative been filling yours?’

  ‘The restriction of sex is making him a little frustrated.’ She flicked a glance at Alex shaking Lee’s hand. ‘But he seems sincere, and the girls think I should be nice to him.’

  ‘You’re going to have to be very nice to him when he finds out what you’re up to.’

  Putting her phone away, she walked to where the waiting contributors were sitting.

  They had picked a good-looking bunch, a cross section of what they aspired to at ‘Love to Love’.

  ‘Hello there,’ said Lee. Mabel turned to look up at him. From his expression, you would never be able to tell what went on in his head. ‘This is a lovely surprise.’

  Mabel grimaced; that’s all she could do.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ he whispered. ‘Jealous I might take a shine to one of these lovelies.’

  ‘You had no right turning up at my home,’ she replied, trying not to get angry. ‘Leave my children out of it.’

  ‘You’re getting your wires crossed.’ Lee stepped closer. ‘I wanted to send you some flowers. I was passing and-.’

  ‘My family and home are out of bounds.’

  ‘Mabel, you’ve not exactly been honest with me, have you? I think we should sit down and have a chat.’

  ‘I have to stay here and-.’

  ‘I think we better do it now.’

  The way he said it made her instantly worried.

  He walked off and she stood there, knowing she had to be nice just to get him off her back.

  Following him and seeing Alex glance over, she noticed Lee was taking her to where they were doing hair and make-up. He opened the door to a room next door, and she hesitated before stepping in.

  ‘This is where I come to make calls when we shot here before,’ he said, pulling out a seat. Mabel instantly looked at the door to see if there was a lock, relieved to find there wasn’t. ‘Sit down and let’s chat.’

  ‘I’d prefer it if you’d leave the door open.’

  ‘I’m not going to do anything!’ he laughed, as she glared. ‘Fine, if that makes you feel better.’

  He left the door ajar. Mabel looked at him taking a seat.

  ‘I can tell you’ve been out of sorts for a while,’ he said, his face gentle and kind. ‘Grief hits you in many ways. Even splitting from my wife, I’m having a hard time adjusting.’

  ‘I think the way you speak to me on the phone makes me worry.’

  ‘I think the fact you never said what your involvement was in the agency, shows me that you’re not very honest. A shareholder?’ There was a look of admiration from Lee. ‘How did you manage that? Joanna Haynes wouldn’t have just given you the shares, would she?’

  ‘How would you know?’

  ‘I know about Joanna and her businesses. She’s a shrewd person and not a fool.’

  ‘I’ve known her and Calum for a long time,’ she replied, not wanting to divert from the truth. ‘I’m good at my job and that was the deal.’

  ‘I don’t believe you,’ he said, smiling and sinking into the chair.

  ‘Why don’t you call her and ask?’

  ‘And Calum? It’s strictly business?’ Lee was acting as if he knew something. ‘Really?’

  ‘I’ve never had sex with him. The idea turns my stomach.’

  ‘When I think about what we did the night you came to my home, it turns me on.’

  ‘I wasn’t thinking straight.’

  ‘You’re too important to let slip through my fingers. A challenge?’

  ‘A challenge?’

  ‘That’s what I was told about you. You would be the challenge.’

  ‘Who told you?’ she asked, leaning forward seeing his eyes widen. ‘Keith? I hear you know each other, hence we could pitch.’

  ‘Your company, if I’m allowed to say it,’ he said with a half-smile. ‘Got the pitch down to Alex Chambers, as I said before.’ Lee sat back in his chair. ‘And you fell for his charm. I did try to warn you. That man has a reputation and a half; not all good. Were you on the re-bound after losing your ex?’

  ‘I’ve not made some good decisions,’ she replied, realising Lee had done his homework.

  ‘Let’s cut to the chase.’ He bent forward, looking up at her. ‘I want to see you again and I’m determined to. You’re not falling into my hands, and that’s good and bad because that only makes me want you more. Now I see where you sit in the agency, the last thing I want to do is to make waves.’

  ‘Then don’t even think about us sleeping together again. You can tell Joanna and Calum, I don’t care, but don’t come near my girls. You’ve over stepped the mark.’ She got to her feet. ‘It’s like some game with you, and that bothers me.’

  ‘I always win.’

  ‘Excuse me!’
There was a loud tap on the door and Alex walked in. ‘Am I disturbing you? I need to speak to Mabel and Tommy’s a bit stuck.’

  ‘Sure,’ Mabel said, looking at Lee.

  ‘Pictures,’ he whispered walking past. ‘I find them quite effective.’

  ‘Don’t you dare!’ she snapped. ‘Go away and leave me alone.’

  ‘What’s going on?’ Alex looked at Lee then at Mabel.

  ‘I’ll see you later for drinks,’ Lee said lightly, laughing as he walked off.

  Alex closed the door with his foot and stared at Mabel.

  ‘He’s winding you up,’ he whispered, grabbing her around the waist then pushing her up against the door.

  Kissing her face, he touched her lips and Mabel decided to lunge at him.

  She had been horny all afternoon and needed light entertainment. Alex shoved his hard on into her crotch.

  Her mouth was filled with his tongue, and he squeezed her breast.

  ‘Tonight, be at mine for eight o’clock the latest,’ he said, frantically kissing her neck. ‘I know you’re here after me but please, please don’t be late.’

  ‘I want you so much,’ she gasped, running her hand through the back of his hair. ‘I think my knickers are squelchy.’

  He started to laugh and readjusted himself then smoothed down her dress, making sure he felt her up at the same time.

  ‘Whatever you’re up to, it better be legal,’ said Alex, kissing the end of her nose. ‘I hope you know what you’re doing.’

  ‘So, do I.’

  They walked back into the studio, and she noticed Lauren was speaking to Lee. The young woman didn’t look happy and caught Mabel watching.

  Mabel waited for her to walk towards them then beckoned Lauren over.

  ‘I think you owe me a favour, don’t you?’ she whispered as the woman’s response was to look at her with confusion.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I need your help after this shoot is finished, and you know exactly what I mean.’

  ‘I feel sick.’

  Mabel was standing outside after they finished their secret filming. ‘It was a bit traumatic.’

  Iona was smoking a cigarette she had bummed off someone. The production team were loading up their vans. Even the handful that stayed to help looked a little shell shocked.