"You needn't bother, Mr. Dimar. I told you I'm going out."
"You can't avoid me so easily." There was a note of amusement in his voice. "I'm a determined man, Laura, and I mean to see you. If it can't be tonight, it will have to be tomorrow, and if not tomorrow, the day after."
"I'll be back on duty by then."
"Then I'll wait outside your flat until you're free!"
Knowing he was perfectly capable of doing what he said, she suddenly gave in. To argue any longer was childish. She might as well see him and make it perfectly clear that she had no intention of doing what he wanted as far as his cousin was concerned.
"All right," she said coldly. "I'll be ready at eight.' But I'd like to make it quite clear I'm coming under duress."
"Naturally! Until tonight then."
Laura put down the telephone and walked over to the wardrobe. The last time she had seen Nikolaos she had been wearing a seaman's cast-off clothes, and though she was going to see him against her will she determined to make herself look as lovely as possible. She rummaged through her dresses, glad that during her slip-overs in New York she had spent most of her money on replenishing her wardrobe, and finally chose a white wool jersey with a simple bodice and intricately draped skirt. From the low neckline her shoulders rose creamy smooth and her hair, brushed loose, framed her face in a dark cloud of red. Her hands were shaking so much that she smudged her mascara and muttering under her breath, had to renew her makeup. But at last she was ready and as the clock chimed eight she looked through the window and saw a black Rolls-Royce purr to a stop outside.
Settling back inside the car, a mink rug over her knees, Laura's heart pounded as she remembered that the last time she had seen her host, her lips had been bruised from his kisses. But as she stepped into the marble-floored hall of the penthouse she gave no indication of her nervousness and, rather because of it, her expression appeared more aloof and indolent.
A butler took her wrap and showed her into the drawing-room. On every table elaborate silver candlesticks with scarlet candles cast a mellow, flickering glow over the cream walls and priceless paintings. For a moment she thought the room was empty and then a man stood up from the piano and came over to her.
"It was kind of you to come," Nikolaos Dimar said quietly. She noticed that his accent was thicker and wondered whether, like Andreas', it became more pronounced when he was nervous. Yet why should he be nervous at seeing her? It was a puzzling thought but she had no time to dwell on it, for he took her hand and raised it to his lips.
"What will you have to drink?"
"It's too late for sherry. How about champagne?"
"If you say so," she said coldly.
He walked over to the table and came back with two glasses in his hand. He gave her one and raised his own, murmuring in Greek.
"What did that mean?" she asked curiously.
"A special toast that I will translate for you one day."
He led her over to a sofa that stood on one side of a burning log fire and she held her hands to the blaze.
"How lovely. This flat's so warm I thought you had central heating."
"I have. But I like fires as well. It's an English habit to which I've grown accustomed."
"Have you lived in England long?"
"On and off for many years. I was educated here and when I left University I went into the London branch of the business. Although now of course I divide my time pretty equally between here and New York."
"How nice for you."
A slight smile was the only indication he gave of her sarcasm. "I didn't go straight into an executive position, you know. My father believed that in order to know about ships you had to work on them, and even my school vacations were spent afloat."
"I wouldn't call it a hardship to travel on one of your luxury liners."
This time he did not pretend to misunderstand her. "I learned the hard way, Laura. I had to rough it with the men on the trawlers before I was promoted to passenger ships."
Looking at him, she could imagine him holding his own in the toughest conditions. Immaculate evening clothes emphasised the width of his shoulders, and his dark hair was brushed smooth over a face that seemed more stern and aggressive than ever. Her eyes rested on his hands: large and strong, they gripped the slender glass as they had once gripped her.
As if aware of what she was thinking, he set his drink on the mantelpiece and came to sit beside her, moving with surprising lightness for such a heavy man. "Do you remember the days we spent on the dinghy, Laura?"
"I'll never forget them. I feel a proprietorial interest in young Master Gilderheimer!"
"And I feel a special interest in—————— " He stopped short as the door opened and the butler announced dinner.
Inexplicably relieved, Laura stood up and they went into the dining room. The long Sheraton table which stood in the centre of the room was empty, but in front of another log fire a smaller table had been laid with white linen, silver cutlery and crystal glass.
"I didn't think you'd appreciate my shouting at you across the dining-table," he remarked as the butler served them with smoked salmon.
"This is much cosier," she agreed.
During the meal Nikolaos did most of the talking, and Laura found her interest held as he told her something about his work and the organisation required to keep the hundreds of tankers, tramp steamers and liners in year round service. Dinner over, they drank coffee in the drawing room and Laura once again found herself possessed by a sense of unreality. It seemed impossible that she should be sitting with this man as if they were old friends. Old enemies would be nearer the mark! She glanced up and saw him watching her.
"You're thinking of the past, aren't you?" he asked quietly.
"What do you mean?"
"Earlier this evening you forgot I was the man you hated and began to look upon me as someone you could like. Now you are seeing me as your enemy again."
She did not answer and he leaned closer. "Am I not right, Laura?"
"Yes. For the moment I had forgotten the past, but it can't be forgotten for long."
"I hope that isn't true. You must not waste time thinking of the past. I want you to think of the future instead—a future with me."
"With you? What do you mean?"
He stood up and began to pace the floor, one hand in the pocket of his jacket, the other nervously rolling a cigar between his fingers. "I thought you'd have realised… It seemed to me that what I felt for you was so obvious…" He stopped in front of her and she tilted her head and stared into his face. "Don't look at me like that, Laura, or I won't be able to finish what I was going to say." His voice was thick, the accent more marked than ever. "I love you. I want you to be my wife."
Unable to believe she had heard correctly, she stared at him. "Your wife?"
"Yes. Is that so strange?"
Wordlessly Laura stared down at the carpet. It was impossible to realise that Nikolaos Dimar wanted to marry her! With painful clarity she remembered all the things he had said to justify his prevention of her marriage to Andreas. 'No one in my cousin's position could be happy with a woman unused to his sort of life… When Andreas marries it must be to a girl of similar background and wealth… A match between a Greek and an English girl is doomed to failure…'
"Laura," Nikolaos said jerkily, "I want your answer."
Agitated, she stood up and put the distance of the room between them. "I should have thought my answer was obvious. You yourself told me how impossible a marriage was between a man in your position and a girl in mine. I can repeat all the reasons you gave me— all the things you said."
"I still stand by what I said—as far as Andreas goes. But / am different."
"No you're not. You're a Greek and I'm English. You're rich and I'm poor."
"What does that matter?" He came over, hands outstretched. "I am adult enough and strong enough to over-ride our differences of outlook and heritage. I love you, Laura, I love you."
"Love," she said huskily. "I never thought I'd hear you use that word to me."
"If I had been honest with myself I would have used it the moment we met."
She turned her head impatiently and he put his hand under her chin and tilted her face to his. "Don't look like that, my darling. I'm speaking the truth. I fell in love with you the moment you came into my home, but I refused to admit it. You have no idea how beautiful you looked that night. Beautiful and lonely."
"How could I have been lonely? I came here with Andreas, the man I hoped to marry."
"Nevertheless you were lonely. In your heart of hearts you knew he was not the man for you."
"I didn't!"
"You did!" He caught her hands so fiercely that she winced but he was too overwrought to notice. "Oh Laura, don't fight me. Let me spend the rest of my life cherishing you."
The word, with its implications of love and tenderness brought tears to her eyes, and believing them to be for him, Nikolaos pulled her into his arms.
"The last time I kissed you, I did so by force. But this time I will wait until you tell me that I may." He bent his head. "May I, darling?"
"No!" She pushed him away. "I can't marry you. I don't love you."
"You do! You've shown me in a hundred ways— when we were in the dinghy together, when I held you in my arms that night on the boat, when you responded to my touch and "
"Stop it!" she cried. "Stop it! I don't love you! You ruined my life and ———"
"Be quiet! It is childish to talk like that. Don't go on fighting me, Laura. You love me but you're afraid to admit it." She opened her mouth to protest but he shook his head. "Don't say any more now. I can see I've been too quick for you—I should have courted you more slowly, more diligently. But I was so afraid
I might lose you that I—————- " He stopped and moved away from her. "Don't say anything yet, Laura. I'm going to send you home now and tomorrow evening I will be waiting here for your answer. Think over all I've said, my darling, and examine your heart truthfully." He caught her hand, and pressed it to his lips. "I know you love me. All I am asking is that you are honest with yourself and admit it."
"Nikolaos, I———— "
"Not now." He shook his head. "Wait until tomorrow."
CHAPTER EIGHT
THE night slowly dragged its way to dawn and sleeplessly Laura watched the bleak February sun rise in a rain-washed sky. Yawning, she got up and padded into the kitchen to make a cup of tea, then carried the tray back to bed and settled herself against the pillows.
All night she had turned over in her mind the events of the previous evening but she still found it incredible that Nikolaos Dimar wanted her to be his wife. It was ironical that he, for all his iron strength, should have fallen a victim to an emotion so strong that he was willing to retract everything he had said. Yet that was not quite true, she admitted. Nikolaos' attitude to his cousin was still the same: he had simply decided that the rules that applied to Andreas did not apply to him.
She sighed. To be married to the owner of the Dimar Shipping Line was the sort of thing most girls dreamed of, but as far as she was concerned, it was unthinkable.
'I'd rather stay single for the rest of my life,' she vowed, and on this thought drifted off to sleep, not waking again until a vacuum cleaner droned on the carpet outside her flat. With a start she sat up in bed. The clock on the mantelshelf pointed to three and she realised she would have to hurry if she was going to keep her appointment with Melissa.
'I wonder what she'd say if she knew her cousin wants to marry me?' Laura thought, and pushing aside the blankets, went into the bathroom.
An hour later she arrived at the Savoy Hotel and found Melissa already seated at a table in the restaurant.
"I'm so glad you came. I was afraid you weren't going to."
"I almost didn't," Laura confessed. "Not because I didn't want to see you but because I thought it might only cause more trouble. Andreas was very annoyed about it yesterday."
"He didn't mean it. I'm certain he'd let me marry Philip if he could but he has to pretend that he agrees with the family."
"Why? He's a grown up man. Can't he stand up to
Nikolaos?"
"If he couldn't do it for himself," Melissa said, "he's not likely to do it for me."
Laura sighed. "He's very weak and easily led. I realise that now. When I saw him yesterday it was like meeting a stranger. Yet when we first parted I never thought I'd forget him." She took out a cigarette and lit it, snapping the match between her fingers. "I was desperately unhappy to begin with, you know, and I hated your cousin so much that I————"
"You should not hate Nikolaos."
"I never thought I'd hear you defend him!"
"I'm not," Melissa said with dignity. "But one must admit that whatever he does—whether one agrees with it or not—he always does it with the best intentions."
"Selfüsh intentions," Laura corrected.
"Only where you and Andreas were concerned."
"What do you mean?"
"He wanted you for himself."
Laura's cheeks flamed. "What a thing to say!"
"It's true. From the moment he met you, Nikolaos wanted you. He loves you."
"You don't know what you're talking about." Laura took refuge in anger. "He might want to possess me but he doesn't love me. Honestly, Melissa, how can he? He doesn't understand my background and beliefs any more than I understand his."
"Andreas was just as foreign to you, yet you loved him."
"Well I don't love Nikolaos. If I did, I'd marry him and—" Too late, Laura realised what she had said, for Melissa pounced on the words triumphantly.
"Then he has asked you to marry him! I knew he would. Oh Laura, you've got to say yes."
"On the contrary, I've already said no."
"But he would give you everything you've dreamed of!"
"I've never dreamed of money or luxury," Laura said dryly. "I'm doing a job I enjoy and I've everything I reasonably want. Mink and diamonds don't happen to be important to me."
Melissa flung out her hands. "Never did I think I'd have to persuade a girl to marry my cousin! Even if he were a beggar there are hundreds of women who'd gladly be his wife. Yet you can sit there and tell me you won't even consider it! Oh Laura, for my sake you must say yes. If Nikolaos married an English girl he couldn't object to my marrying an English man."
Although the same idea had already crossed Laura's mind, she was nonetheless startled by the baldness of Melissa's demand. "Much as I like you," she said dryly, "I can't agree to marry Nikolaos for your sake. Marriage is a private affair between two people, and it's whether they care, whether they love one another that counts, not whether they're going to make other people happy."
"But it would make Nikolaos happy and—and it wouldn't make you unhappy, would it?"
"That's beside the point." Laura leaned her elbow on the table. "Why don't you talk to him yourself? You told me he's fond of you and only wants what's best for you—surely if you explained how you felt about Dr. Burrows—"
"It's no good. I've tried but he won't listen to me."
"I'll speak to him for you," Laura said impulsively. "If he—if he loves me, maybe he'll do as I ask."
"Why should he? You can't turn him down and then expect him to take notice of what you say." Melissa shook her head. "No, Laura. If you don't marry Nikolaos, I'll never be able to marry Philip."
Annoyed that she should be made to feel responsible for Melissa's unhappiness Laura pushed aside her plate and stood up. "The final remedy is still in your hands, my dear. If you really love Philip, no one can stop you marrying him."
"I could not take my happiness if I knew it would break my mother's heart."
"I think you exaggerate the whole thing," Laura retorted. "Hearts don't break easily."
"Mine will on the day I say goodbye to Philip."
The words were melodramatic but there was a look of such naked misery on Melissa's face
that Laura knew she meant them and refrained from arguing further.
At home again she tried to consider the position objectively. Whichever way she looked at it, Melissa's request was preposterous and it was unthinkable that she should even consider acceding to it.
'I wish to heaven I'd never met any of the Dimars!' she thought. 'They've never brought me anything but unhappiness—and if Nikolaos thinks he can make everything all right by marrying me…' She jumped up from her chair and angrily paced the room. "I'd rather live alone for the rest of my life!" she said aloud.
The words, spoken in the stillness of the room, brought her to a sudden stop and she remained motionless, staring in front of her. Alone… The word had such a ring of hopelessness to it that she was engulfed by a wave of depression. No matter how much she tried to hide the truth from herself, she knew it was not normal for any human being to live her life alone and that no career, however wonderful, would compensate for a man, a home and children.
'And I would have had them all if I had been able to marry Andreas.'
Suddenly she started to cry and as she did so there came a release from the bitterness of the past, as if the tears were washing away the might-have-beens and the could-have-beens, and leaving her free to face the future and take what the gods offered.
Not that the future held much for her. The years ahead were bleak and there was nothing to look forward to any more. She wiped her eyes. Yet the gods were offering something: they were offering her Nikolaos Dimar, a man whom, as Melissa had said, many women would be glad to marry. After all, why shouldn't she accept him? He had taken away from her the one thing she wanted; why shouldn't she take from him what he was so willing, so eager to give?
She shook her head. "I can't!" she muttered. "It wouldn't be fair. I don't love him and I couldn't take everything from him and give nothing in return."
Her pacing had brought her to a stop in front of the mirror and she stared at her reflection. Nikolaos loved her for her beauty: would it not be enough that he possessed that? Even as the thought entered her mind she dismissed it. This was not the proper basis for marriage. There could be not true union unless there was love on both sides. Tonight she would tell Nikolaos she could not be his wife.
Rachel Lindsay - The Taming of Laura Page 9