“You know there’s no one for me but you.” She pulled him towards her and he slowly sank back down to the bed.
“The thought of you with someone else…” he clenched his hands into fists and released them. “I couldn’t bear it.”
His gaze was piercing and full of anguish, and she berated herself for causing him pain. She leaned forward to kiss him softly, running her fingers through his silky hair. He responded by deepening the kiss, and she slid her hands under his shirt to feel the lean muscles of his torso. His lips travelled down her neck to the tender space above her shoulder blades. She trembled under his touch and pulled him towards her, leaning back on to the bed. He paused, taking a ragged breath and looking her in the eyes. The anguish was replaced by an almost feral desire, and it made her skin quiver in response.
“Des,” he said with effort, “we don’t have to, I mean, we can wait…”
“For what?” she whispered. She wanted to feel his flesh against hers, to melt together as one and leave all the anger and fear behind. Winding her legs around his waist, she arched her spine as he ran his hands along her stomach, pushing aside her shirt and unbuckling her jeans. He curled his fingers through her hair, and she lost all sense of time as their bodies tangled together in sensual bliss. A raw and urgent cry filled the room and she realized it was coming from her.
“Harder,” she whispered, and he yanked on her hair as she dug her fingernails into his back, making him moan in ecstasy. Then suddenly the world exploded, around her, inside her, everything was on fire. The walls raged with flame and she could see through them to the darkened city beyond. Hovering in the embers were two giant, reptilian eyes.
◆◆◆
“Des, Des, what is it?” Adrian was lying beside her, panting gently. “Did I hurt you?”
She laughed. “God no.”
“You were screaming.”
“In a good way.” The terror of her vision had only heightened the ecstasy flowing through her in comparison, and in the aftermath she felt dreamy and euphoric.
Adrian studied her face solemnly. “Maybe I pulled your hair too hard.”
“Shut up.” She pushed at his chin, and he grabbed her hand, holding it against his bare chest. Her fingers traced the tattoo inked into his skin, and she could see now that it was a howling wolf, its teeth bared in a mournful cry, its body arching across his back and its claws reaching across his left shoulder. Graceful swirls and bold lines surrounded it in an intricate design, all rendered in black and grey.
“Really, are you okay?” he said, stroking his thumb from her eyebrows down to her jaw. “Was it, you know, okay?”
“Yes,” she murmured, laying her head on his shoulder over the tattoo. “It was amazing.” She could tell he was grinning as she drifted off into a peaceful semi-awake state. Her mind wandered as she slid in and out of sleep, but the image of the dragon's yellow orbs kept resurfacing.
“I had a dream the other night,” she said, breaking the tranquil quiet in the room.
“Mhm,” he mumbled sleepily. “Was I in it?”
When she didn’t answer he leaned up on one elbow to look down at her, his hair falling forward in wild disarray. She reached up to run her fingers through its softness.
“A bad dream?”
She nodded and closed her eyes for a moment, remembering him standing beside her, watching the devastation below.
“The city is burning,” she said. “I’m watching it all from on the bridge, and I feel like I need to stop it, I need to do something, but I can’t. And it’s terrible, but somehow it’s also beautiful.”
“Sounds very apocalyptic. Maybe you were thinking about the Towers, when they fell.”
“Maybe. But there are no planes, no other people, only a great monster, a dragon with seven heads. And the last time, you were there.”
“The last time, so it’s a recurring dream?”
“But he took you,” she whispered, laying a hand on his cheek as if to assure herself he was still there, and this wasn’t a dream. “The dragon stole you from me.”
He covered her hand with his and turned his head to kiss her palm. “It was only a nightmare. I’m not going anywhere.”
His thumb traced the scar on her hand as he gave her a reassuring smile. He ran a finger up her arm and stopped at her shoulder, making her flinch as he reached the spot where the rabbi had touched her.
“How did you get this one?”
She twisted to look at it and could see a red circle with an eight-pointed star in the middle surrounded by strange symbols, the same symbol from the rabbi’s ring. It was incomplete, as if it had only burned partway into her skin.
“From a rabbi.”
He laughed. “A rabbi? And who gave you the other one, a priest?” His laughter faded when she didn’t join in.
“You don’t believe me.”
His forehead creased as his expression grew more serious. “This isn’t a dream, Des, this is on your skin. Who is hurting you?”
“I don’t know!” she cried out. “The rabbi was as confused as I was. I told you, I think I’m hurting other people. It doesn’t make sense.”
“Okay, okay.” He kissed her hands again and held them. “What about asking that priest your mom met? Maybe he could help.”
“Father Tate?” She shook her head. “No way.”
“Uncle Jack!” He sat up and looked around for his phone. “He knows about stuff like this.”
“And what would any of them do? Put me in a straight jacket and take me away?” She thought of Cyrus again, but didn’t want to bring up his name, afraid it would make Adrian withdraw again. All she wanted was to be here next to him, his warmth surrounding her, his voice trying to dissolve her fears, his strength keeping her from losing her mind. She couldn’t let anyone take that away from her. She tugged him back down to her side, and he kissed her gently on the neck, on her cheek, on the edge of her lips.
“Ok,” he murmured. “Just you and me then. We’ll figure it out together.”
“You and me,” she whispered, turning her lips to meet his, melting into his embrace and letting the chaotic world fade into oblivion.
All You Cannot See
Josh was noticeably absent the next day, and Des spent the morning willfully ignoring the whispers and stares aimed at her. She tried to keep Adrian in her mind, picturing his dark eyes and sly smile when someone tried to trip her in the hallway, when a spitball bounced off her bag.
Cyrus had sent her several texts last night about not showing up, which she only answered this morning, so she was pretty sure he was mad at her too. At lunchtime she headed for the first floor, hoping May had changed her mind about being her friend.
As she opened the stairwell door, her heart sank at the sight of Rachel and Kyle surrounding May, the Lilith grimoire open between them again. Rachel looked up and gave her a smug grin.
“There’s the little witch now,” she said. “Go ahead, deny it again, we all saw you yesterday.”
“Don’t be stupid.” Des rolled her eyes at the accusation. “I didn’t do anything.”
“That’s not what May says.”
Des stared at May, who kept her eyes focused on the floor. Not wanting to be her friend was hard enough. Did she have to go and share everything with these dimwits?
“You can keep your little parlor tricks.” Rachel tapped on the open book. “We’re more interested in real power.”
“You mean your dumb murder spell?”
“Lilith is the mother of all demons, and this book holds her secrets. It can even control her. I wouldn’t call that dumb.” Rachel leaned forward as if revealing a secret, lowering her voice even though they were alone in the hallway. “The power is in the blood. Through it we capture the essence of the soul. And with it, anything is possible.”
It’s not your blood. The echo of a dream plucked at her memory and Des frowned. Rachel was good at draining the life out of your very essence, destroying you to the core of your being, but thi
s time she meant something more visceral and real. A diabolical sacrifice was a grand idea, but she couldn’t see Rachel or Kyle going through with it.
Des looked down at May and saw a tiny, wicked smile through her cascade of hair. Little May, who saw people as vermin and had a morbid obsession with bones. Would she go so far as to possibly end a life? Would she add a gleaming human skull to her collection? It would be insane to actually do it, and May was odd but not insane. She had to believe that. Her hand went to the tiny skull necklace around her neck that May had given her, plucked from death but made into something beautiful.
“May.” She kneeled in front of her to capture her attention. “You know you can’t do this. You can’t simply murder someone. It’s crazy.”
May looked up at her with cold empty eyes that matched her disturbed smile. It was as if her soul had been locked away in that box of hers, leaving an empty shell behind, and Des couldn’t help but wonder if it was her fault.
“You don’t get to tell me what to do,” May said, her voice flat and indistinct. “Not anymore. You never see my true heart, I cover it with silence.” Her gaze seemed to look through Des, past her, as if talking to someone else instead. Des felt a chill down her spine and wondered who the statement was meant for.
“May.” Des took hold of her shoulder, hoping to get through to her with her own strange words. “I do know your true heart, and it’s not a murderer. Skinning a mouse is one thing, but a person? You said you want people to leave you alone, but if you do this, they won’t. Ever.”
May shook her off and stood abruptly. “Not if they don’t find out.” She pushed past the three of them and stalked down the hallway.
“May!” Des ran after her. “This isn’t some stupid book, they always get caught in the end!”
“He never got caught in the book,” Kyle said, following along with Rachel. “He turned himself in, because he felt bad.”
Both girls glanced at him, and he shrugged. “I read the cliff notes.”
May burst through the front doors, and they followed her out into the pale afternoon light. Des reached for her arm again and she whirled to face them.
“Who are you to talk, Des? You like to hurt people too.”
Des let her arm fall and flinched as if she had slapped her.
“I didn’t do anything on purpose,” she protested, although her conviction faltered as she spoke. Hadn’t she wished for Josh to fall silent, for him to feel pain?
Rachel moved closer to May. “Don’t mind her,” she said. “She’s just jealous.”
Des snorted in disbelief. “Hardly. She’ll find out what you’re really like soon enough.” A slow anger simmered inside her and she debated letting it rise to a boil or attempting to keep its lid on tight. She had the urge to grab Rachel and bang some sense into her, like the dream where she had smashed her own bloody face into a rock. She held her hands to her head as if to keep the image inside.
“Is everything ok here?”
Des turned in surprise to see Adrian leaning against his parked car. Slate peered out the window at the group of them.
“Adrian.” She breathed his name like a mantra, and felt her anger begin to dissipate into a tepid mist. He sauntered over and slid an arm around her waist, his familiar touch making her melt against him. Rachel raked a long discerning gaze over him, then smirked her cherry red lips, tilting forward so her corset style shirt tightened across her cleavage.
“Word of advice,” she said to him. “You’re wasting your time with this one. If you want a real woman, you know where to find one.”
Adrian was the only one to find her brazen flirting amusing. Des stiffened against his side, her nostrils flaring. Kyle placed a possessive grip on Rachel’s shoulder, glaring at Adrian through his bangs. May suddenly lost interest in all of them as she peered past Rachel, her stony expression transforming as a blush colored her cheeks.
“I wouldn’t lie to the poor man.” Layla’s voice cut between them, smooth and sharp like the broken edge of a porcelain dish.
She towered behind Rachel in designer stilettos, poised like a fashion model with a hand on her hip. Sam stood by her side, his meticulous braids cascading out from under a black fedora. He noticed May gawking at him and tipped his hat towards her with a wink. Her blush spread until her face was red as a tomato.
“You’re not quite a woman yet,” Layla continued. “You wouldn’t want him to get arrested, would you?”
Rachel leveled a steely gaze at her and stomped her foot as if she were getting ready to charge. Layla gave her an innocent smile, which froze on her face as she noticed the book clutched in Rachel’s arms.
“Yeah, you better stick to the boys and leave the men to me,” Des joined in as she smirked at Kyle. She watched Layla’s expression as Rachel whirled and grabbed Kyle’s arm roughly, making him yelp in surprise. Layla kept her eyes on the book, but Des couldn’t discern what she was thinking.
Rachel stalked off, dragging Kyle behind her.
“Come on May,” she hissed over her shoulder. “Let’s leave these losers.” May gave one last glance at Sam, ignoring Des, and slowly trailed after Rachel.
As they left, Adrian reached out a hand to Layla. “It’s nice to meet a genuine friend of hers,” he said, nodding toward Des, who raised an eyebrow at him.
“My pleasure.” Layla shook his hand delicately, almost as if she were afraid of grasping it too hard, and Des remembered her iron grip on her shoulder the other day. Adrian extended a hand to Sam, who regarded him with a slight frown as if he found him curious. Des studied Layla as she bent an ear to Sam, wondering what her connection was to that damn book. And why did she always seem to show up at the moment Des was getting into trouble? Except for the other day in the courtyard. Why didn’t she stop her then, the way she had in the hallway with Allie? She was debating how to bring it up when Slate leaned on the car horn.
“It looks as though your friend is impatient.”
“Sorry,” Adrian said, “my brother is rude.”
Layla dipped her chin to accept the apology, then nodded to Des.
“You take care.”
The way she said it sounded like a warning, and Des tried to ignore the disconcerting feel of Layla’s scrutiny as she got into the backseat with Adrian. Although she appreciated her moral support, she didn’t need a baby-sitter.
“Well she seems nice.” Adrian entwined his fingers with hers and placed a kiss on her knuckle.
“Yeah, sure. What are you guys doing here anyway?”
“He’s got an interview,” Adrian gestured to Slate, “because he lost his job, again.”
“That guy deserved it.”
“And he found it necessary to use up gas by driving to it, so I figured I’d come along and see if I could catch you at lunch.”
“I didn’t want to get stuck in the subway.” Slate adjusted the mirror to view them in the backseat.
“So you’ll get stuck in traffic anyway!”
Des smiled at both of them. “Well, I’m glad you caught me.”
“You’ve got some hot friends.” Slate glanced back at Layla as he drove slowly down the street. “Not as hot as you of course.”
“Um, those weren’t really my friends.”
“Dude, let us out here,” Adrian growled, his hand on the door. “Do your interview and I’ll take the train home.”
Slate stopped short and shrugged.
“Good luck,” Des said as they got out of the car, only a block from her school.
“Yeah, try not to mess it up.” Adrian slammed the door and Slate drove off.
“Why do you guys argue so much?”
Adrian looked down at her with a frown and pulled her closer to him. She leaned in against the warmth of his body and breathed in the scent of his skin.
“Because he’s childish and irritating. And I don’t like the way he looks at you.”
Des chuckled. “Are you jealous, even after last night?”
“Of course I’m je
alous, I’m sure all the guys look at you that way.”
“Oh, like the way Rachel was staring at you?”
Adrian tilted her chin up to meet his eyes, fixing them on her with that dark intensity that made her limbs tremble.
“There will never be anyone else for me.” She melted into his gaze and into his kiss, the busy street fading away as if a haze of smoke surrounded them, muting the cars and voices into a steady flapping of wings.
Des jumped as a passerby bumped into them and she looked around to see the clear afternoon light bouncing off car windows, no smoke in sight. A group of pigeons flew across the street to settle on a roof ledge above.
“Yeah gimme some of that, Morticia!” A group of boys yelled at her as they passed. Adrian curled his fists, but Des grabbed his hand and pulled him down the sidewalk towards a deli down the street to buy lunch.
They brought their roast beef on bagel sandwiches to the benches lining the stone wall of Central Park, watching the people passing by. Des rested her leg against him, crossing her black boots over his.
“So I did some research on your dream,” Adrian said between bites. “The seven-headed dragon appears in the Bible, in the Book of Revelation.”
“Revelation,” she murmured. That was the section of the Bible her mom had bookmarked. Weird. “Isn’t that all about the Apocalypse?”
“Yeah, fire and brimstone and all that. The same part that talks about the Antichrist and the three numbers of the Beast. The dragon basically symbolizes the Devil.” He scrolled through his phone to find something.
“Listen to this: And another sign appeared in heaven, behold, a great, fiery red dragon having seven heads and ten horns, and seven diadems on his heads. And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world.”
Des groaned. “That’s crazy. I’m dreaming about the Devil, burning things with my hands, and seeing…” she trailed off. She hadn’t really told him about all the demon faces she had been seeing in the subway, especially since most of those times had been with Cyrus. What had Cyrus said to her? I’m only showing you what you can’t yet see. She suddenly lost her appetite.
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