by R. J. Lewis
“She always has something to prove.”
Ember with her gigantic beauty but with the most soul crushing self-esteem he had ever seen. He took care of her issues because she couldn’t, and she accepted people’s abuse because that was all she knew growing up. Yeah, he had a severe soft spot for his sister. He knew firsthand what PTSD had done to her.
Now Thames looked out the window as they drove down long stretches of winding roads. He tapped his thumb against the glass, reflecting on the most important question of all.
Clearing his throat, he forced out, “And Charlotte?”
When Jem didn’t respond straight away, he turned his head to him. Jem’s lips were pressed tight in disapproval. Honestly, Thames didn’t have the patience for this shit. The quiet disturbed him. Had she found her way back to Reid? Or was there another collar-popping teen in need of a beating? Regardless, it wouldn’t change anything.
Fuck these Blackwater fuckboys.
“Charlotte, Jem,” Thames said, icily. “Out with it.”
“You spent one fucking night with her, Conor,” Jem retorted, annoyed. “What the fuck does it matter?”
He gritted his teeth. Now was not the time for bullshit. “I’m not playing around, Jem. Answer the fucking question.”
“You already know the answer! You know what your name is around town. I’m sorry to break it to you, Conor, but you fucked your way through most of Blackwater’s finest women, and that didn’t set a very good foundation for your teenage crush.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You ran into a coffee shop and kissed the girl in front of everyone. You marked her, Conor. You did something you’ve never done before. You took yourself off the market by telling her to wait for you. The backlash was horrific on her. I’ve seen happier moments in a Stephen King novel.”
“Did she split? Is that what you’re hinting at?”
“No, she hasn’t split.”
“Not with anyone?”
Jem chuckled wryly. “What guy would want to touch her after she’s been marked by you? No one wants that sort of death wish.”
“What’s the problem then?”
“The problem, Thames, because you seem to have very little understanding of other people’s human emotions, is that perhaps the girl wants nothing to do with you after what being with you did to her.”
No, she would want him. Thames couldn’t afford considering the alternative. Not when she was within reach now.
“What’s being with me done to her, Jem?”
Jem’s eyes blew wide. “Are you seriously asking me this? Come on, Thames, you’re smarter than that.”
Fuck.
He shouldn’t have made his fucking emotions so obvious out front of that coffee shop.
“Who’s hassling her?” he demanded. He’d fuck them up so fast, they’d be pissing blood by the morning.
“Mostly her school friends.”
“Reid.”
“And him, for sure.”
God, that fuckboy needed a pounding.
“It’s fucking weak when a boy like that acts like the fucking victim,” Thames hissed, nose flaring. “This is the same little cunt that fucked over every girl he’d been with. He wants to cry like a sissy bitch when he gets cheated on? That’s real fuckin’ cute.”
He’d seen Reid at parties long before Charlotte had been around. A teenage horn dog that begged to stick his dick into anything that was desperate enough to accept his four-inch pencil. It was one of the reasons why he didn’t buy their relationship at the time. He saw straight through Reid. Knew exactly the kind of asshole he was. He was going to end up like his father.
“It could have swung the other way,” Jem replied. “See, he could have been the laughingstock of town for, you know, losing to you. That would have murdered his ego straight-up. But, strangely enough, his dad pulled out all the stops to make sure that didn’t happen.”
Anger twisted in him. “What did Dave do?”
“Bought him all the toys. New fucking car with all the bells and whistles. Dave renovated the house, kind of like he’d been hoarding money or something with all the changes he did to it. Next thing you know, Reid’s throwing huge parties at his place every weekend. He’s passing out all the drugs and alcohol.”
Thames laughed, mockingly. “Classy way to win friends over.”
“Dave’s gonna be a problem, Conor.” Jem levelled him with a serious look. “I think he’s throwing together a chop shop.”
Thames shrugged, unperturbed. “He can try. He isn’t a problem, Jem.”
“I don’t know, man.”
“Well, I know.”
His uncle had lived his entire life in his brother’s shadow. The best moment happened when Thames’ dad bit the dust and the money fell from the sky. Thames had to hand it to the fucker – he pretended to love his dad damn well right to the end. It was a shame his father didn’t know what a conniving cunt his brother was.
If Thames hadn’t stashed some money away for himself, he would have been penniless in prison, and he would have lost the big house, along with all the valuable gold buried in the basement. He’d already known they’d snooped around when he was in prison the time before last. They were searching for those precious metals like a bunch of hillbillies on a crocodile hunt.
He decided to let those thoughts go for the moment. He had better things to worry about – like the hazel eyed beauty he was clawing out of his skin to have.
“Did you offer to help her like I asked?”
Jem barked out a laugh, looking incredulously at him. “She hates me. The first time I took her home after Reid fucked with her bike, she said she would rather deal with Max than me.”
Fucking hell. “Did Max pay her a visit too?”
“Yeah, he bought coffee at her workplace.”
“Max doesn’t drink coffee.”
“Well done connecting the dots.”
Thames fumed. That nosey fucker.
“I gotta hand it to him,” he muttered, thoughtfully, “he outdid us all.”
Yeah, Max Locke had been the puniest of them all growing up. God, he was the most annoying fucking kid, but he had balls of steel and he was damn smarter than all of them combined.
He was also fucking sick in the head.
“If he wanted her, he would have had her by now,” Jem said, reading Thames. “He wanted to make sure she was legal, and you weren’t extra fucked. He was looking out for you, bro. He works the law in ways I’ve never seen.”
Yeah, that was the other thing about Locke. He was loyal to a fault, and he kept to his word. Whether he genuinely cared for them was questionable. Thames didn’t believe he had the capacity to. He was cunning and manipulative, and he had this goddamn motherfucking charm, though. And don’t get Thames started on his suits! Pussy chased after those tailored pinstriped articles of clothing with legs spread. If Charlotte knew anything about Locke’s real nature, she would have scrambled to Jem for any help.
On that thought, he shot Jem a weary look. Jem would have been a complete asshole to her.
“Where is she now?” Thames asked.
“We are not going to see Charlotte Miles first thing,” Jem argued, shaking his head with irritation. “Your mother’s getting dinner ready.”
“She ordered food, you mean.”
“She’s going to have everyone over. Have some manners. You’ll hug your relatives and neighbourhood friends and play airplane with Lily for a while, and then I’m taking you out.”
“I want to see her. Now.”
“Tough, Conor. She’s at school.” Jem chuckled when he caught Thames’ annoyance. “That’s what happens when you chase young tail, buddy. Think of that next time.”
With a dark smile, Thames replied, “That’s funny, Jem, because you think that’s going to stop me.”
He spent almost eight months in prison thinking of one girl. He wasn’t going to step out of there putting everyone else first. He wasn’t going to wait
another minute more than he had to. He was going to her first thing.
Everybody else could wait.
Chapter Eight
Charlotte
“Open your locker with caution,” Laura warned me, sucking at her smoke right before entering the car. “Word on the street is it was fucked with yesterday.”
Jamie leaned over me, pointing a finger at her. “No smoking in my car, Laura. You know how long it took to get rid of the smell of ass.”
“You shouldn’t have bought your car off a bum,” she replied.
Jamie huffed and sat up straight. “You don’t find a car this beautiful for two grand without consequences.”
I let out a snort, and James caught it. “Yeah, baby, you know all about consequences, don’t you?”
Oh, boy, did I.
My life the past year was something out of a Jerry Springer show, only I was pretty sure it was seedier and less comical. As expected, I had been outcast immediately. No longer part of the popular clique, I had been knocked down tier after tier, until I was rock bottom with my fellow rejects.
Fucking Reid over meant being subjected to relentless bullying. I’d spent my first week eating lunch in a toilet stall. It was either that or have food thrown at me from Reid’s table. I thought it would be whispers behind my back, but never did I expect the savagery that unfolded. I lost every friend I made, which was fine, because they weren’t really my friends, were they? They were just fake fucks that played nice so they could enjoy the front row seat to our relationship.
Reid made his hatred known. Our dirty laundry was aired to the world of Blackwater, and it extended past the school grounds and into every corner and alleyway of town.
Laura squashed her smoke under her boot and slipped into the backseat. I caught her grey eyes in the rear-view and she winked at me. “Don’t worry,” she assured me. “I’ll be there with you when you open it. I’ll spit on anyone that watches.”
I smiled at her. “Thanks, Laura.”
I loved her to bits. She had saved me from the toilet stall after that first week. She had pounded on it endlessly and demanded I have lunch with her. We ate outside on the bleachers with Jamie who’d had a black eye and a busted lip.
“Fuck this school,” he had cried, sniffing. “Bunch of bible thumping assholes afraid of a bit of pride.” He was referring to his rainbow bracelet that he had proudly displayed on his wrist.
“My mom’s a Christian,” Laura had said. “And she believes love is love. Ignore their ignorance, Jamie.”
Turning to me, she added, “That goes for you too, man. Don’t hide in the toilet from them. That’s how they win. Don’t give them that power.”
I didn’t. Not when I had someone like her standing by my side. Laura was an introvert with a huge heart. Half her head was shaved, she had a septum piercing, and she challenged the uniform policy daily by rolling her pants up too high or unbuttoning too many buttons. When I asked her why she did that, she had shrugged and said, “I don’t know. I’m in a phase. Maybe next year I’ll grow out my hair and wear pink heels. I’m enjoying how I express myself now.”
I envied her carefree nature.
“I can’t wait to finish this stupid year out,” Jamie stated now, turning the corner to the school grounds. “I’m getting out of here and never coming back. This baby is going to take us far, ladies. There’ll be rainbows shooting out of this engine on our way out of this fucking wasteland.”
With just a month left of school, I too was counting down the days. I’d been accepted into a university in the city, and three of us had agreed we’d take an apartment together just to afford the cost of living.
There was nothing keeping me here.
Well, there was one thing.
One person.
But he was in prison and I didn’t know if what we had was even real. Time did that. It blurred the moments I’d cherished with doubt. I didn’t know what was real, and that voice grew louder in my ear. He couldn’t have legit been waiting for me. Jem was probably right. He’d get out and be in the arms of another, professing affection to her. Conor was impulsive, and maybe the high of being out made him do that.
Of course, I had weak moments. Moments where I felt the touch of his lips on mine, and his deep voice in my ear. In my dreams he held me and kissed my throat. Other times I could feel him inside me, thrusting and moaning in my ear to wait for him, and I’d wake up gasping, my thighs clenched, my centre wet and pulsing.
Those dreams were going to be the death of me.
*
I felt everyone’s eyes on me as I stood before my locker. A few snickers were already heard behind me. With Laura by me, I felt strong enough to keep my head held high. I opened it and took a giant step back. Opened condoms, garbage wrappers, and obscene drawings of penises fell out at my feet.
With a steely expression, I whipped my body around at the laughing faces around me. Most of them came from Reid’s group: guys with containers of gel in their hair who smelled like axe spray and body odour. Laura scoffed, kicking at the garbage at our feet.
“Bunch of immature idiots,” she murmured to me. “You’d think they would come up with better ideas than this.”
I was so angry. I swallowed hard, but my hands shook. I went to grab my English textbook, but that too had been drawn on with seedy messages and drawings of boobs and dicks. I threw it back inside. I gritted my teeth to fight the curse words I wanted to come flying out of my mouth. My eyes spotted with tears. You’d think I’d be used to this humiliation, but it stung every time. And it wasn’t about the silly garbage they packed in there. It was their desire to want to do this to me that fucked with my head the most.
Everything in my life was dark and twisted. School was like swimming in the waters with hungry sharks. I couldn’t go home because Billy had tried at me that first month, and I’d spent countless nights awake with my back against the door, praying he wouldn’t get through. I still had heart palpitations thinking of him.
Laura’s hand shot out to my arm. She squeezed it soothingly and smiled warmly at me. “Ignore the fuckers,” she reminded me.
I swallowed again and nodded.
This was nothing. This was nothing compared to Billy.
The bell rang and she rubbed my back before we parted ways.
“You’re strong, babe!” she called out to me.
I was. Goddammit, I was. I had to be.
I ran up the stairs to the second floor and rushed down the hallway to my class. Ms Landry hadn’t made it yet, something that was common now toward the end of the year. My classmates had parted into little groups, sitting on the desks, chatting away, blowing bubble gum and laughing obnoxiously. I stood before the class and scanned it, searching for his face.
Reid was sitting on the window ledge, smirking right at me. My eyes met his and I saw the sinister look in his expression. His posse of girls followed his gaze and snorted at me. Shaking still from rage, I charged in his direction.
“You need to up your game, Reid,” I seethed, stopping before him.
“Don’t get too close, skank,” Millie – a stupid bottle redhead who’d been chasing after Reid since the get-go – remarked. “We don’t want to catch your AIDS.”
“You can’t catch it twice, bitch,” I retorted, giving her a sweet smile before looking back at Reid. “You think breaking into my locker and shoving condoms and replica drawings of your friends’ puny little dicks is going to hurt me? You forget I grew up in the city, Reid. That shit is kindergarten level.”
His amused expression immediately slid off his face. He jumped off the ledge and came at me. His chest pressed against mine. I stood my ground, glaring up at him. I couldn’t believe I felt butterflies for this guy once. He’d fucked his way through the high school volleyball team, thrown parties and drank himself stupid the past year. On one occasion, he’d laughingly told me I was shit in the sack and leaving Rebecca for me was a mistake.
That was a tough confrontation.
The girls had thrown condoms at me from across the cafeteria, and when I threw them back, he’d turned to me, acid on his tongue, and destroyed me in public. It solidified the divide between us. It was like looking into a stranger’s eyes.
“Oh, I’ll up my game,” he threatened, smiling darkly at me. “And you’ll be crying for me to stop, the same way you cried for your crappy bike.”
Of course, people had witnessed that. What didn’t they see?
I didn’t respond. I looked into his blue eyes, searching them, finding the hint of hurt I’d seen every now and again in their depths. I’d catch him looking at me, had seen his defences down, and in those rare moments I’d find myself crumbling with guilt.
I saw the hint of pain there now, and I would let him have his victory. I backed down and took a step back, which only made everyone else laugh again.
“Fucking baby,” Millie whispered.
I walked to the front of the class and took my seat at the desk in the front row. Nobody bothered me in the front of the class, aside from being hit by the odd crumpled paper thrown my way.
Small town schools functioned so differently compared to a city school. The pack mentality was stronger here. Maybe it was just Blackwater, but there was something in the air. None of these kids hacked being alone; they needed to follow someone. Reid abused that power, turned it into something evil when he sought to destroy my reputation and leave me on the wayside alone.
After Halloween, everything changed for him too. He was more popular than ever. His pop obviously stopped being cheap with him. He’d come to school in a brand-new sports car, and he oozed money. It was a shocking contrast since I’d been with him through his broke days when his father kept him on a short leash with an even shorter allowance.
I wondered what changed.
I also didn’t care enough to know.
Being here hardened me. My choice was limited. Either I grew a second skin or cry myself to sleep every night. I opted for the former, though I had my moments of despair.