"No, it's not that. I already told you, I didn't have anything to do with that." He said a bit too loudly. Lowering his tone, he continued, "I need to tell you something."
He watched as she swallowed, preparing for what she believed would be horrible news.
"I did something that I now see wasn't my proudest moment and I need to apologize." He began, watching her facial expressions change from fear to confusion. "I hired a private investigator."
"Oh, good. That's a good idea." Johanna had no idea yet that he'd hired one to investigate her.
Milan shook his head, saying, "No, not for the reason that you think. Just hear me out, okay?"
Johanna recognized fear in a man when she saw it. She'd had years of practice to learn the difference between a man determined to intimidate and a man who had met his match. This situation fell into the latter category. She sat back, looking directly at his face, forcing him to look her in the eyes and waited, showing him no emotion whatsoever.
"I hired him to investigate you." Milan spit the words out of his mouth as quickly as he could, quickly averting his eyes from her once ambivalent gaze to one of anger. Her breathing became heavier as the air between them thickened. The few moments of silence were deafening, but the slight twitch of her upper lip and the darkness that shrouded her eyes were all the evidence he needed to know that what he'd done would sever what little ties they had to each other.
Johanna straightened her back, staring at him. "You had me investigated? Why? And, don't tell me that this was some kind of employment background check because I know the agency did that already. Why, Milan? Who did you think I was?"
She didn't give him an opportunity to respond. Instead, she unleashed a sea of emotions on him, forcing him to face what she's had to endure since her arrival at the manor. "You have no right to pry into my personal life. You knew what you needed to know and I've never given you any reason to question me. I came here and got thrown into some crazy house of mirrors. I have to deal with the whole town hating me because of you, and I stayed. For what? To have you investigate me like I'm the crazy one here? Like I'm a criminal? I'm sorry, buddy, but I'm not the one people are accusing of murdering their wife and a poor young girl. You are."
Milan gasped, angered by her words. "Get out." He ordered, pointing to the door.
Standing directly in front of him, her face inches underneath his chin, she answered, "That's exactly what I'll do. I hope you got some kind of pleasure laughing at what I've been through and sticking your nose up at people with real problems and real lives, you spoiled rich..."
"What in the world is going on?" Sarah stood in the hallway, looking in at Milan and Johanna.
"Have the golden boy tell you." Johanna rushed passed her and walked into her room, slamming the door behind her.
Milan couldn't catch his breath. His heart beat uncontrollably out of his chest. Beads of sweat dripped down his face.
"What did you do?" Sarah asked, placing herself in his line of vision. "Didn't I tell you that this would cause problems? Didn't I warn you to leave her alone?"
He screamed, "I told her the truth, just like you told me to."
Sarah sighed, calming herself down.
"Why do you do this to yourself?" She asked, disappointed in him.
Their conversation was interrupted by the sound of Johanna's footsteps as she walked by Milan's room, carrying her belongings and running down the stairs. Neither Milan nor Sarah said a word. There was nothing left to say. They listened as Johanna started her car and backed out of the driveway.
Sarah thought she saw Milan's lip quiver as Johanna's tires screeched, but he quickly turned his face from her view. The moment was very reminiscent of the last time a woman vanished out of Milan's life. On that night, after the awful news, Sarah could do nothing but sit next to the broken man and pray that time would heal his wounds. She listened as his labored breathing slowed. The sound of his broken heart reverberated through the room around them.
Chapter 14
JOHANNA SMILED. “OH, hi, Sarah, you scared me. Did I forget something at the manor? I guess, I left in kind of a hurry.”
Sarah took a deep breath to calm her frazzled nerves. “I just went to bat for you. I hope you don't make me look like a fool.”
Johanna opened the motel room door wider for Sarah. “What are you talking about? What did I do?”
“I don't know, but believe me, I will find out if there is something you haven't told us.” Sarah crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back on a stack of boxes. “Have I ever told you about Milan's family?”
Clearing her throat, Johanna answered, “Look, I already know what I need to know. Why am I the bad guy here? He had me investigated. Normally, I wouldn't care about that, but the way he did it, like I'm some kind of common criminal was wrong. This wasn't an employment background check. This was to pry into parts of my life that I want to forget and it's none of his business.”
“Sit down. We need to talk.” Sarah watched as Johanna struggled to understand. She would wait as long as was necessary to ensure that Johanna wasn't here to hurt Milan in any way. She genuinely liked Johanna and wanted to trust her, but too many strange things had occurred since the moment that Johanna entered their lives and, if she didn't get to the bottom of it now, she was afraid that Milan would lose his senses and do something that would destroy everything he'd worked so hard for.
Sarah looked around the small dark room. She hated the idea that Johanna felt the pressure was too much for her at the manor and chose instead to return to this.
"Sit," she pointed to the bed.
Johanna didn't appreciate being told what to do. She left on her own accord and with good reason, she thought.
"I'll stand. Thank you." The pain in Johanna's eyes, masked the bravado she was trying to display. "Just say what you have to say and let me go back to my life." Johanna swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. It broke her heart to walk away. She thought that working in the manor would be the first step to building a new life for herself, one vastly different from the often unstable life she'd led back in Indianapolis. Instead, she found herself swimming in an ocean of uncertainty and falling for a man, whom at best was cold and distant, but the few tender moments he allowed to break free from the steely facade were enough to make her crave him.
"Milan isn't thinking right. I can't account for what he did, but I do know that his intentions weren't to hurt you. What I'm trying to tell you is that you have to understand what he's been through and why he is as guarded as he is. His life is at stake here. It has been for quite some time. I'm sorry if what he did hurt you, but you have to know that it wasn't out of a place of hatred." Sarah sighed, before continuing, "He needs you. As much as it pains me to say it, he needs you."
Johanna's eyebrows quirked up with interest. "What do you mean that it pains you to say it? Am I so awful? What? Because I'm not rich like him and I came from an abusive home with a father who did everything he could to make sure that I understood how much he hated me, I'm not good enough for your precious Milan? You people are a piece of work. I don't know why I even got involved. I'll tell you what though, I'm done. I'm done with both of you. Now, get out and go tend to your egotistical jackass and leave me out of it. It's bad enough that everyone in this town is looking at me funny because they associate me with him now. Thanks. Thanks for nothing."
* * *
MILAN WATCHED AS they unloaded supplies off their truck. He found their timing to be remarkably impeccable. Just as he'd hung up the phone with Lou, there they were, jovial and ready for their day back at work at the manor.
Rob bore a smug grin on his face as he examined the front facade of the manor. Milan couldn't yet bring himself to move. He needed a few moments to gather his thoughts and calm his nerves. If he moved too quickly, he feared he may explode with rage. The information Lou gathered hadn't garnered the exact results he'd hoped for but did help to solidify his belief that Rob had more than an infatuation with
Paulina. That in itself made him want to rip Rob to shreds, but doing so would defeat the purpose of having him investigated in the first place, so he had to do whatever he could do to not reveal what he knew just yet.
The knock on his front door freed him from his internal struggle. Taking a deep breath, he prepared himself to face the men at the door and let life lead the way for the time being. It was all he could do, lest his plans be ruined.
"Well, hello, gentlemen. You're up bright and early this morning." Milan said by way of greeting the two Sanders men.
"Sure are. Anxious to show this old girl some love," Rob answered readily, extending his free hand to Milan.
"Good. Well, let's get started, then." Milan offered in response, not taking Rob's hand. "The first floor has been cleared out for the most part, save for some every day essentials that we'll need for now. I've cleared one side of the yard, if you want to begin working on the exterior. Over the next few days, I'll clear out the other side of the yard and Sarah will work on the upstairs level. The attic is clear too, if you intend to do anything on the roof."
Both men nodded. Rob answered, "I think, if we can get up into the attic, we'll have a better idea on how to address the roof and get some insulation in there for you. How's that sound? That way, we're out of your way and you can do what you need to do."
It was all Milan could do to get through the niceties and the small talk without exploding. As much as he wanted the work to be complete, he wasn't sure that asking Rob and his father to work for him was a good idea now. He'd had his reasons before, but now with them here, those reasons seemed far fetched and would require more patience than he thought he'd ever be able to muster.
"Fine with me. Sarah should be back shortly. You do what you have to do and let me know if you need anything." Milan tried to force his mouth to smile, resulting in a strained expression that neither Rob or his father knew how to respond to.
He retreated to the kitchen with no real purpose in mind other than to get as far away from Rob as he could. His hands trembled as he fumbled for the coffee pot to pour himself a cup and calm down.
Seeing Rob again after all these years, brought back all of the disdain he felt for him before. Nothing much had changed in Rob. His eyes were still the brilliant blue color that Paulina had commented on several times when they were together. Rob's complexion was still as clear as ever, despite his ever-present tan from working outdoors most of the time. His clothing style hadn't changed much either. If Milan remembered correctly, he'd swear Rob wore those same grass stained clothes time and time again over the years.
For the next several minutes, he listened to the sound of their footsteps as they walked in and out of the house, bringing in their tools and equipment. Their familiarity with his home was off-putting. While many people had spent a considerable amount of time at the manor over the years, none that he could remember aside from Sarah and a small handful of others had ever ventured into the attic space before.
Rob seemed to have no trouble at all finding the attic and knowing exactly where the light switch was. He moved about freely as if he'd been there a thousand times. Milan's nerve endings were on fire as he listened to the humming of the men's voices far above his head. This, for them, was a pleasant job. It was money in the pocket. For him, it was an excruciating task to complete. This was the beginning of a major transformation that would turn the home, he loved into something altogether different and new. Its aim was to bring warmth to the cold, dark structure, so that another family would love it.
Heavy footsteps pounded down the stairs. The hairs on Milan's arms rose as those footsteps made their way from the landing on the first floor and down the hallway toward him in the kitchen. This was the moment he hoped wouldn't yet happen.
With his eye on the entrance doorway, he balled his fist and steadied his stance, ready to do whatever was necessary to right Rob's wrongs.
"You have no insulation whatsoever in the ceiling up there. Do you want us to take care of that first? That's probably why your wife was always cold in here." Rob said, seemingly oblivious to Milan's gasp that followed his words.
Milan swallowed, willing his mind to quiet the voice telling him to destroy Rob and make him pay for how he tormented Paulina.
"Cold? Odd thing to say. Funny, Paulina didn't ever mention feeling cold in the house." Milan challenged Rob to say something else out of line, but Rob chose a different approach.
"Well, I know my ex-wife would always complain about how cold our house got sometimes, and sure enough, it was the insulation. A raccoon got to it and tore it right up. I bet that's probably what happened to yours. Critters probably got into this old house, figuring no one cared about it and tore up everything they could, but don't worry, I'll fix it for you and everything will come back together nicely for you." Rob offered, doing a poor job of sounding sincere.
"Ex-wife? I didn't ever realize you'd gotten divorced. Sorry to hear that." Milan answered, not at all surprised by the news. "She found herself a better man?"
Rob sneered, noticing the smirk on Milan's face. "Yeah, that's what she claims, but you know how they are? Women are always hungry for the next best thing and, I can promise you, whoever he is will always be willing to oblige any woman that needs him."
The two men stood quietly, looking into each others eyes, each loathing the other, each knowing exactly why.
Rob broke the silence, sensing Milan would never back down on his own. "Well, let me get back to work, then, and let you drink your coffee."
Milan didn't give him the satisfaction of a response. He remained standing, listening as the smug contractor found his way back up the stairs and into the attic. He listened so intently that he hadn't heard the front door open or the sound of footsteps approach.
She cleared her throat, more to prompt herself to speak, but also to get Milan's attention.
"You're back? I... I..." Milan started, but Johanna put her hand up, indicating she didn't need an explanation.
"I need this job. I'll do what you ask from now on and stay out of your way. I'd like it if you could stay out of my way or did you want to call the FBI and have one of their agents follow me around?" Johanna's words bit Milan. He knew it would take a lot of time and effort to heal the damage he'd done and mend their relationship, what little there was of it.
"I'm sorry." He offered.
"Don't worry about it. You're the boss here. Now, which room do you want me to work on?" Johanna turned her back to Milan, leaving him wishing he'd never asked Lou to investigate her in the first place. She was an innocent, harmless in every way and he shouldn't have overstepped his bounds.
Defeated, he answered, "It doesn't matter. Choose whichever room you'd like. It all has to be done."
She answered, "Good. I'll do the nursery." She instantly regretted saying that. She didn't mean to sound so flippant and felt guilty, even though Sarah had told her that Milan didn't know the entire story.
Milan inhaled a rush of air. The nursery was another room he hadn't been able to bring himself to face. He didn't know if Johanna knew that he suspected Paulina was pregnant at the time of her death, but if she did, he could only assume that by choosing that room in particular, she was trying to send him a message.
Johanna grabbed her bag and carried it up the stairs, pretending not to hear Milan's gasp. She hadn't meant to be insensitive and wanted to tell him so, but she wasn't yet ready to say any more than she had to at this point.
Chapter 15
MILAN WATCHED AS she tended to the garden, carefully removing every morsel of debris that found its way there. Dark, wavy tendrils escaped the ribbon used to hold them back and were blowing in the hot, summer wind. He couldn't help but think about Paulina and how he used to sit here in this very window and watch as she did the same, nurturing and tending to the plants as if they were born of her.
She had a sort of sixth sense in very much the same way that Johanna did. It was as if they could see, feel, and read what nature and th
e world was trying to tell them. They saw the tenderness in moments that were harsh. They saw beauty in items that had long since been discarded.
Chills ran up his spine as he watched Johanna use her small, tender wrist to wipe her brow. His breath caught at the sight of her pursed her lips to blow sweet breaths of air upon her flushed face.
He couldn't help but be drawn to her. She was exquisite in every way. Her face bore an innocence, but her mind and her heart remained cloaked in the shroud she'd placed over them to protect them from whatever damage had reared its ugly head in her life before. She was strength and beauty combined with a vulnerability that could and probably did at one time or another make a grown man cry.
Milan felt like a kind of voyeur as he studied her every movement, but the pull she had on him was too strong to resist. He had to watch her. It felt natural. It felt right.
He wondered why she'd agreed to work for him at the manor. He was sure that someone would have warned her about all the sorrow that the manor had witnessed. Why, when everyone else for miles around feared and loathed him, had she chosen to be a part of this, at what would prove to be one of the worst periods of his life? Why had she stayed after the horrific discovery in the tunnel?
The stories about her troubled childhood explained why she did many of the things that she did. He understood that, but he could not wrap his mind around the idea that she seemed to enjoy his company and wasn't at all sickened by the chaos that had surrounded the manor as of late.
She wiped her brow again. This time, squinting up at the manor. Noticing him staring at her, she stood up, shielding her eyes from the harsh glare of the sun and looked up at him, smiling at first, then, suddenly becoming self conscious, she stopped and put her head down, pretending to be preoccupied with the plants.
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