Penny bullshitted me about her grandma being sick. That's not exactly shocking news. But the way my stomach is twisting—that's different.
"It's just. You're so sweet. I hate to say this, but everyone knows you'll pick up extra shifts whenever." Lily clears her throat. "I mean, I know you need the cash. It's not that you’re pathetic. But…" She looks to Elle.
Elle nods. "She might as well know."
Lily's voice drops to a whisper. "People call you Kaylee the Naive. Not me and Elle. But the guys. Penny and Danni… they took bets on whether or not you'd buy Penny's excuse about her grandmother."
I bite my tongue.
"Everyone knows you're a sucker for a sob story." Elle offers an apologetic smile. "I should have said something sooner. The way they lie to you… it's fucked up. But I thought… well, you do need the cash, so what does it hurt?"
My cheeks flame. My stomach churns. My fingers curl into fists. "Do you think I'm stupid?"
"No," Lily says. "Just… trusting."
"Maybe a little gullible," Elle says. "But there are worse things to be than too trusting."
I shake my head. "No. I don't trust them. I knew Penny's story was bullshit. But I offered to help because…" Because I always try to help. I always put everyone else first. Even people I don't like.
I don't like Penny.
She's annoying. She's rude. She's a greedy table-hog who ignores all the restaurant's rules in pursuit of greater tips.
She's awful.
Deep down, I knew she was lying.
And I still took her shift.
I had Brendon offering to fuck me senseless, and I still took her shift.
I'm a pushover.
I stare back at Elle. "You two do this too?"
She shakes her head. "No. Kay… I'm sorry."
"You call me Kaylee the Naive?" My voice rises to something not at all appropriate for work. But right now, I don't care. I'm tired of being the nice one.
"Never," Elle says. "Promise."
"Does Jake?" I ask.
"Well… I heard him and Penny talking about it once, but I don't think it's a regular thing. Just, she mentioned it and he laughed. I'm sure it's not personal. He has a thing for her. He can't help but laugh at her jokes," Elle says.
"He does," Lily agrees.
This isn't personal? That's ridiculous.
I take a step backwards. "Excuse me." My blood boils as I make my way to the office in the back. I should step outside and calm down. I should take a few deep breaths.
I should do something else.
But I need to says this now. Before I lose my nerve.
I knock on the door. "It's Kaylee."
A moment later, Jake pulls the door open. He shoots me his usual I swear I'm your friend look. "Hey, Kay. You want to take your thirty?"
I shake my head. "People call me Kaylee the Naive?"
Guilt creeps into his expression. He clears his throat. "I've never heard that." His voice wavers. "Everyone adores you. You're sweet."
"You call me Kaylee the Naive too?" I ask.
"No." He doesn't sell his answer. At all. "I… I sometimes mention that you're always looking to pick up extra shifts. To help pay for school."
Right.
It's written all over his face.
He tells people I'll buy any sob story.
He uses me to get out of telling people no.
I shouldn't do this. But I can't let this go. Not this time.
I pull off my name tag and my apron. "I'm quitting."
"Kaylee, come on. It's no big deal."
I shake my head. "Starting now. I'll be back for my paycheck. But that's it." My eyes go to the almost empty dining room. "You'll be okay without me. And if not, why don't you call Penny to pick up my shift, huh?"
I don't wait for his answer. I spin on my heels, pick up my purse from the host stand, and march out of the restaurant.
The walk to my car, I stay strong.
The drive back to Brendon's place, I stay strong.
The second I knock on the door, I crumble.
* * *
Brendon's eyes fix on mine. "You okay?"
I shake my head.
He motions come in.
I do.
He presses the door closed behind him. "Tell me what happened."
"I did something rash."
He raises a brow. "You?"
I nod. "I had to… I had to stand up for myself."
His voice lifts. His lips curl into a smile. "Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"Come here, angel. Tell me everything."
I move close enough to wrap my arms around his waist. He smells good and he's warm, and with him holding me, I really feel like everything is going to be okay. "I quit my job."
He nods go on.
I tell him everything. I tell him about every time someone offered me a sob story, about every time I finished someone's side work without asking, about how Elle and Lily and even Jake look at me like I’m a dog that keeps getting kicked.
It's not until I'm done that it hits me. "Fuck. I can't afford to not have a job. School and books and… I have my scholarship for tuition, but that's all it covers."
"I can help."
"I'm not taking your money."
He runs his fingers through my hair. "That much, I know." He pulls me closer. "You can pick up some shifts at the shop."
"I would not fit in at your shop."
"You already spend half your time at the front desk."
"But everyone who works there is tattooed and pierced to high heaven."
"That's why you'd be perfect. The sweet, unmarked blond. Guys would fall all over themselves to try to talk you into getting ink."
"What if I said yes to a tattoo?"
"As long as I get to do the work." He drags his hand up my back then presses his palm between my shoulder blades. "You'll get fantastic tips."
"If I flirt."
"You're right. I might have to kick some ass." He drops his voice. "But I don't care. I'm going to help you through this, whatever it takes."
I smile. I really trust him to help me. I really trust him, period. "If I don't find anything by the end of the week, I'll give it a shot."
He leans down to press his lips to mine. He tastes good and this feels right. Even though it's wrong.
But I guess I have a dirtier mind than I thought, because I like that it's wrong.
It's making me hot all over, thinking about just how wrong it is.
When our kiss breaks, he leans down to whisper in my ear, "I want to fuck you right now."
Yes. Now. "I'm safe. I've never been with anyone. And I'm on the pill. If you're safe."
"I am." He runs his fingers through my hair. "Are you sure, Kay?"
I nod. "I trust you."
I trust him with anything.
Right now, I'm about to crumble. I need to surrender to Brendon. I need to let go of control.
I look up at him. "Get me out of my head. Please."
His hands go to my hips. In one swift motion, he pins me to the wall.
Then his mouth is on mine, claiming mine. I kiss him back, desperate to give myself to him, to be his for more than a few days.
He shifts his knee between my legs, rubbing me with the top of his quad. I rock my hips. The layers of denim make the friction rough. Already, I'm aching with pent up desire.
Brendon grabs onto my hips. Then he's guiding my pelvis over his leg faster and harder. The friction is intense. I have to close my eyes. I have to suck on his lips. I have to dig my nails into his shoulders.
He breaks our kiss to look into my eyes. "Come for me, angel."
Fuck, the edge to his voice.
Tension builds in my core. I'm almost there.
I let my eyelids press together. I let go of control of my muscles. My legs go slack, but he's got me.
He pulls my hips back and forth, grinding my pelvis against his. I can't believe we're still in our clothes. My sex is aching with des
ire.
Almost.
Almost.
There.
I scream his name as I come. I don't care that the neighbors will hear.
"Brendon." I scream it again and again and again. I collapse into his arms, catching my breath slowly.
He helps me back onto my feet. His stares at me with that look that demands I obey. "Strip for me, angel. I want you naked in front of me."
I want to be naked in front of him. More, I want to submit to him. I want Brendon leading me. I want him in control of my pleasure.
I pull my t-shirt over my head, then I unhook my bra. I take my time sliding it off my shoulders one strap at a time.
His pupils dilate as his expression fills with desire.
I want him so badly, my hands are shaking. I can barely unzip my jeans. But I do. I push them off my hips, shimmy them to my feet, then kick them away.
Brendon presses his palm against my panties. Then he's rubbing me through the fabric. "You always get this wet?"
I shake my head.
He rubs my clit with two fingers. "Only for me?"
I nod.
He rubs me harder. "Say it."
My sex clenches. This feels so good I can barely think much less talk. "Brendon… I… I only get this wet for you." My cheeks flush but I don't feel shy. I can't believe those words fell off my lips, but I don't feel shy.
He makes me feel dirty in the best possible way.
He rubs me with that same speed, that same pressure. I hold his gaze for as long as I can stand it. Then the pressure is too much and I have to close my eyes.
Almost.
There.
My sex pulses as I go over the edge again. Again, I groan his name.
When I've caught my breath, I look back into his eyes. "Fuck me. Please."
He pushes my panties off my hips. His eyes stay fixed on mine, but he says nothing.
"Please, Brendon. I want your cock inside me."
He pushes my panties to my knees. "Say it again, angel."
"I want your cock inside me." I push my panties to my ankles, then kick them to my feet.
He teases me with his fingers.
"Please." I spread my legs. "Please fuck me." My voice is needy and desperate, but that's exactly how I feel. I'm achy and empty and I need him inside me.
Now.
Brendon pulls his t-shirt over his head. He pushes his jeans and boxers to his knees.
The he's wrapping his hands around my hips. He lifts me and pins me to the wall.
I hold onto his shoulders for support. He's got me so thoroughly pinned I can barely move. But that only spurs me on.
Right now, I'm his.
And I really fucking like being his.
He shifts his hips so his cock brushes against my sex. I let out a deep sigh. It's divine but it's not enough.
He does it again. Again. Again.
I try to shift my hips to meet him, but he's got me pinned.
"Brendon, please. Please fuck me."
He presses his lips to mine as he teases me again and again. I have his tongue in my mouth but I don't have his cock inside me.
I need that.
He teases me again and again.
He teases me until I'm dizzy.
He pulls back. His eyes fix on mine as he fills me.
I feel every glorious inch. That's just him, just me, nothing in between us.
It's intense.
It hurts in a way that feels more good than anything.
He fills me with slow thrusts.
Then he gets harder.
Faster.
Fuck. That's a lot of pressure. But I still want more.
I want every inch of him.
"Harder," I groan. "Please."
His grip on my hips tightens. He fucks me harder. Harder. It hurts in the best possible way.
My eyelids press together. The world goes white, this blinding white, this beautiful mix of bliss and agony.
Fuck.
Brendon.
Fuck.
I get lost in the sensations of my body—his hard shoulders against my soft fingertips, his cock claiming my cunt, his wet lips on my skin, the sounds of his groans in my ear, the heaviness of his body against mine.
Then I'm there.
Again, I scream his name as I come. My entire world goes white. I lose track of everything but the pleasure spreading through my body.
Then he's groaning and grunting and he's there. I can feel his cock pulsing inside me. I can feel him spilling every drop as he pumps into me.
He doesn't release me until we're done.
He presses his lips to mine. "I could watch you come all day, angel."
My cheeks flush. "I think I can arrange that." I kiss him again. "I… I should clean up."
He nods and gets back into his jeans.
I grab my clothes and move into the bathroom.
My entire body is relaxed.
Free.
Maybe this, us together, is wrong, but I don't care anymore.
It feels right.
And not just for a few days.
It feels like it could be right for a long, long time.
* * *
That night, the three of us eat dinner together. Em goes off to her room to catch up on work for her internship. Brendon stays downstairs and watches The Hunger Games with me.
The next day, I shift my focus to school. I pick up my books. I get to work on my summer assignments. Emma is at her internship. Brendon is at work. And now that I'm jobless, I have a very long day to fill.
Again, we eat dinner together. Again, I spend the night on the couch with Brendon. Then in his bed.
It's like that all week.
He works all weekend. Which means I have my usual girl time with Emma. But it's not right. Something is off. The secrecy is weighing on me.
I try to keep my mind off it as we hit the beach to scope out cute boys (for her, of course). As we shop for school clothes. As we head to the school library together, to force ourselves to finish our summer assignments.
But it's there, weighing on my mind.
The next week feels long and slow. Even as I start working at the tattoo shop. I like the atmosphere there. And I like the way the clients tease me about convincing me to get my first tattoo.
But it's a lonely job. Most of the time, I'm sitting at the front desk by myself, waiting.
I get lost in the pattern of the week. On Brendon's days off, he fills my heart and my body. He takes care of me, physically, mentally, emotionally. I crave his commands more and more. I crave them to the point I get cranky and achy my days without him.
To the point I'm snapping at Emma.
Two days before school, I go to the library to finish this last summer assignment. It's for my ethics class and all I can think about is how much I want to fuck my best friend's brother.
How much I'm lying to Emma.
I can't take it anymore.
I pull out my phone and I text him.
Kaylee: I want to tell Emma tonight.
* * *
All afternoon, the text sits there unanswered. When I'm done with my summer assignment, my back is sore, my brain is tried, and my phone is without a response.
All the way back to their place, my text sits there unanswered.
Emma is home on the couch, watching some indie film I've never heard of. She shoots me a smile. "Brendon's bringing takeout. He'll be here in twenty minutes."
Twenty minutes.
I have to tell her in twenty minutes.
Did he text her that?
Why didn't he text me back?
My stomach churns. I'm not sure which scares me more, Brendon not thinking this is forever, or Emma getting upset that it is.
She's my best friend. She loves me. She loves her brother. She won't love the idea of us together, but she loves the two of us enough to get over that.
If there is a two of us to get over.
"I should shower." I force a smile.
"Brat."
"You love it."
"I take the fifth." I climb the stairs. My head is in the clouds. I keep turning over all the possible worst-case scenarios. Emma is my best friend. Brendon is her only family. I can't take anything coming between any of us.
Instinct is the only thing that leads me into Emma's shower. It's what gets me to strip out of my clothes, wash up, change into jeans and a t-shirt from Emma's room.
Downstairs, the door opens. Brendon's strong footsteps move into the room.
Fuck.
He's here.
Which means I have to do this now.
Or maybe it means he's about to end it.
Or both.
I check my phone one last time—still no reply. Okay. I take a deep breath.
I can do this.
Maybe.
In theory.
I smooth my t-shirt and head down the stairs.
Brendon is setting up takeout and plates on the dining table. The table where he made me come. God, the house looks so different through my new eyes.
I lock eyes with him, but I can't figure out what he's thinking.
"How was the internship?" he asks Emma.
"Busy."
I slide into a seat and start filling my plate with half kung pao and half chow mein. Ah, greasy Chinese food. This looks perfect.
Emma sits next to me and fills her plate with all noodles.
She's smiling. Happy. She loves having me here.
She won’t love the idea of us together, but she loves the two of us enough to get over that.
If it's even something to love.
Staring into his eyes doesn't give me any clues. He's hard to read.
But even if he is done with this, I don't want our… well, whatever we should call it, I don't want to hide it from Emma.
I take a deep breath. I exhale slowly.
I open my mouth.
The words don't come out.
Okay, first a few bites of food. I try the chow mein. It's greasy and spicy and it's even better when mixed with the chicken. This is good comfort food and right now I need the comfort.
Emma and Brendon are talking about something. They're teasing about where she's going to live. They're looking at me for a response.
I have to say something.