I flicked through to the end of the book and found a picture of Clara standing upright, miraculously recovered after breathing in the fresh air of the mountainside. I could see why Mrs Wilberforce got so irritated by all the old storybooks.
Jodie was asleep now, her magazine tossed to one side. I put the light off and read several chapters by torchlight but I got worried when I reached the haunted house part. Jodie had made the ghost in the tower too real.
I put the book on the floor and went to sleep. I woke up in the middle of the night and heard little whimpering sounds. I bit my lip, listening intently.
I leaned up on my elbow, peering over at Jodie. She had the duvet over her head.
I slipped out of bed and pattered across to her.
‘Jodie?’ I whispered.
She didn’t answer.
I wriggled under her duvet and cuddled up to her.
She was very hot and her face was wet with tears.
‘Oh, Jodie,’ I said, cuddling her close.
She didn’t say anything, just wept on my shoulder. I held her and stroked her while she sobbed a little more. Then she sniffed fiercely, wiping her face with the sheet.
‘I’ve got a tissue somewhere,’ I said, mopping her.
‘Thanks, Pearl,’ she whispered, her voice still all jerky with crying.
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‘Are you crying because of Mum or the badger or Jed?’
‘I don’t know,’ said Jodie. ‘I just felt like crying, OK?’
‘But you hardly ever cry.’
‘Yeah, well, I see why. It just gives you a splitting headache. Let’s curl up and go to sleep, Pearl. Sorry, I’ve got the pillow all wet. Do you want to go back to your bed?’
‘No, let me stay with you a bit.’
I stayed holding her in my arms until she went to sleep. I lay listening to the sound of her breathing. She was still a little wheezy from sobbing. I needed to go to the loo so I eased myself carefully out of her bed and crept to the bathroom.
As I tiptoed out of it again, my bare foot touched a little scratchy edge of paper caught between the bath and the mat. It was just a tiny scrap, part of an instruction sheet that had obviously been torn into shreds. But it still had two words clearly showing.
Pregnancy test.
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‘My goodness, you’ve still got this old thing!’
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I asked Jodie outright the next morning.
‘Do you think you might be going to have a baby?’
‘What?’ She stared at me as if I’d gone mad. ‘Of course not, idiot!’
‘I found this little bit of paper in the bathroom. I think it’s from a pregnancy testing kit.’
‘Well it’s nothing to do with me,’ Jodie snapped.
I peered at her. I was never sure when Jodie was lying, she was so good at it.
‘I just thought maybe you and Jed . . .?’
‘You have to be joking!’
‘Well, you kissed him, you said you did.’
‘Oh, Pearl!’ She took hold of me by the shoulders and gave me a little shake. ‘You are such a banana!
You don’t get a baby from kissing.’
‘I know that,’ I persisted. ‘I was just scared you and Jed might have done more than kissing.’
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getting boring. I don’t want to talk about him any more. You’re giving me a headache going on about him.’
‘You’ve got a headache because of all that crying in the night,’ I said.
Jodie stuck her chin out at me. ‘What crying?’ she said.
I gave up. There was no point persisting. I kept an eye on her for a while, peeping at her stomach, but it stayed as flat as always. I listened hard when she was in the bathroom. She was never sick. I realized it was a ridiculous idea. Of course she wasn’t pregnant. No wonder she’d been cross with me. Someone had used a pregnancy test kit, but maybe it was a while ago, before we came to Melchester College. Or maybe it was Tiffany, slipping into our bathroom for privacy. She had a big stomach all right – and great big boobs and bum too.
We saw her sitting on the back wall with Jed. He was cupping her hand, lighting a cigarette for her.
She was looking up into his eyes, laughing. Then they both saw us. We were in our school uniform.
Mum had forced Jodie to scrape her hair back into plaits, as if an old-fashioned style could somehow counteract the purple.
‘Oh my Lord, what a sight!’ said Tiffany, rolling her eyes.
She whispered something to Jed. He roared with laughter and then deliberately put his arm round her plump shoulders. Her black bra strap was showing beneath her tight sleeveless T-shirt. Jed fingered the strap. Jodie marched past, pretending not to notice.
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‘I’m sorry, Jodie,’ I said, when we were in the bedroom together.
‘What do you mean?’ said Jodie angrily.
‘Well, Jed was being horrible, playing up to Tiffany. He doesn’t really fancy her – any fool can see that. He was just doing it to annoy you,’ I said.
‘As if I care,’ said Jodie.
She stalked off. I tried to follow her but she yelled at me to leave her alone.
So I wandered off by myself and met up with Harley. We went for a little walk in the woods, though neither of us had the heart to try badger-watching. I told Harley I was worried about Jodie.
‘How’s she doing in class now?’ I asked.
Harley sighed. ‘She’s weird. Sometimes she joins in and suggests stuff and she’s fine, but other times she still messes around and takes the mickey out of everyone, especially Mr Michaels.’
‘And she hasn’t made any friends?’
‘Well. She’s got me, sort of. I sit next to her now, and I always get her to be my partner if we have to work in pairs, but she’s not exactly thrilled about the situation. Whenever I say stuff, she starts yawning like I’m sending her to sleep. I sometimes see why all the others can’t stick her.’
‘They’re so mean to her.’
‘Yes, but she asks for it, she really does.’ Harley took a deep breath. ‘Still, I’m not going to go on about it. I don’t want to fall out with you again, Pearl. We’re still friends, aren’t we?’
‘Of course we are.’
‘Even though I didn’t punch that prick Jed for killing our badger cub?’
‘What?’
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‘I keep replaying it in my head. When Jed throws back his head and grins, I stride over and go wham-biff-bash like a comic book. Jed’s front teeth fall out and he grovels away from me, saying, “Don’t hit me any more, Harley, I swear I’ll never hurt another living creature ever’’ – yeah, as if!’
‘I think you’d probably lose your front teeth if you tried to punch Jed,’ I said gently.
‘I think you’re probably right there. And I don’t actually see the point of being violent, even to idiots like that. But there’s still a bit of me that hankers after being Superhero Harley, this tall geeky kid who can suddenly swoop upwards and fell a hundred Jeds with one blow.’
‘Maybe your feet could grow big and you could just go splat and trample all the Jeds into the ground.’
‘Or my head could blow up like a giant balloon and I’d pucker my lips and spit on all the Jeds and drown them in the torrent.’
‘What about me? Can I be a comic-book hero too?
I’ll be Pearly Girly and I’ll do the opposite. I’ll shrink down down down until I’m like a tiny insect but I’ve got this big big sting. I fly through the air and sting Jed on the end of his n
ose so that he gets this big pus-filled spot, and every time any of that AnnaSophiaRebecca crowd say the slightest thing mean about Jodie I’ll sting them too, right on the mouth so their lips swell up and they can’t speak.’
‘Is this you then?’ said Harley, fumbling for the notebook and pen in his pocket and drawing a weeny mosquito creature with little fangs and a ferocious expression.
‘Yes, yes, exactly! Now draw you.’
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He drew a huge foot with a totally flattened Jed underneath. We sat at the side of the lane inventing a story as we went along, dividing the notebook into squares like a proper comic. It was great fun, and very distracting – but I still couldn’t help worrying about Jodie. I didn’t have any idea where she’d gone. I was sure she hadn’t gone chasing after Jed. And yet I worried about her even more if she was moping in a corner somewhere, all by herself.
It was a huge relief to find her back in our bedroom looking much cheerier.
‘I took Old Shep for the longest walk. Frenchie was so pleased to see me. She said Shep’s been really pining for me, not at all his usual self. As soon as he saw me, his ears went up and he absolutely leaped at me and licked me all over. So I took him for his run, and then when we got back, Frenchie made us baked beans on toast. She had a glass of red wine with hers and she gave me half a glass too.’
‘What was that?’ said Mum, putting her head round our door.
It was obvious she was still furious with Jodie.
‘That Frenchie gave you wine? Is she mad?’
‘She says the French give their children small glasses of wine on a regular basis. She says it’s a very civilized habit.’
‘Oh, she does, does she? You didn’t act very civilized that time you went out with that awful Shanice and came home drunk. You were sick all down yourself. And it doesn’t sound very civilized to me, drinking wine with baked beans. Why is she taking it on herself to feed you tinned muck 323
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anyway? Doesn’t she think I make a proper tea for you?’
‘If you could just hear yourself sometimes, Mum,’
said Jodie. ‘Nag nag nag. I’m amazed Dad can stand it.’
‘You leave your father out of it. He’s got no complaints!’
‘Well, I wish you’d stop complaining.’
‘I’m not the only one. That Frenchie might make a fuss of you, but she’s not a proper teacher. I asked Mr Michaels if you’re making more of an effort and he said . . .’ Mum quivered, hardly able to get the words out. ‘He said that when he was trying to teach you algebra, you screwed up your paper and said you couldn’t be bothered and that you thought it was a load of old rubbish. Did you really say that?’
‘Not in those exact words,’ said Jodie. ‘I might have used one or two expletives too.’
‘How could you! I suppose you think you’re clever! I’d have given anything to learn algebra and geometry and trigonometry and all that stuff. I was always good at sums and yet I was only ever taught the basics. When I was your age, my mum kept me home half the time to mind my little brothers.
You’ve no idea how lucky you are!’
‘I think your record’s got stuck, Mum,’ said Jodie.
‘If I’d spoken to my mum like that, she’d have knocked me into the middle of next week,’ said Mum.
‘Well you’re a bit slap-happy yourself,’ said Jodie.
She held her head out at an angle. ‘Go on, have another slap now if it’ll make you feel better.’
Mum raised her hand. I gasped. Mum looked at 324
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me, looked back at Jodie, and then burst into tears.
She ran out of the room sobbing. We heard her calling Dad.
‘Oh God,’ said Jodie. ‘Now she’s telling tales on me. Why can’t she just leave me alone? You wait, Dad will lumber in here in a minute, all solemn, and he’ll start, “Now, Jodie, I’m not having you upsetting your mother like this.’
There was a knock on our door. Dad came in, sighing, running his hands through his hair.
‘Now, Jodie. I’m not having you upsetting your mother like this,’ he said.
Jodie rolled her eyes at me. I couldn’t help giggling.
‘It’s not funny, girls!’ Dad said sorrowfully. ‘Don’t be like that, Pearl. And Jodie, oh dear, Jodie, what are we going to do with you, eh?’ He sat down on her bed and she cuddled up to him.
‘Mum keeps nagging at me, Dad.’
‘Well, you’re such a bad girl, and you keep doing such crazy things. You shouldn’t cheek your mum the way you do. It really upsets her, and she’s having a tough time as it is. This has been a big strain for her and she’s having to cope with all sorts.’
‘That’s not my fault. I never wanted to come to this stupid school in the first place.’
‘Now, now, it’s not stupid, it’s a lovely school. You just need to settle down and try a bit harder with your lessons. You’re a bright girl. You both are. Not like your old dad! I’m as thick as two short planks.
I always came bottom at school, apart from wood-work. But you could really do well, Jodie, if you’d only try.’
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His foot nudged one of the boxes Jodie had shoved under her bed. She’d still not bothered to unpack properly. He pulled it out, sighed at all the junk, and then picked out her old wooden rocket.
‘My goodness, you’ve still got this old thing!’ he said, smiling. ‘You were always such an odd little kid. A rocket, eh! Not that it looks much like one, I must admit.’ He gave her a gentle poke with the nose of the rocket. ‘So how about being my little rocket girl? Don’t you want to work hard and fly all the way to the moon?’
Jodie seized the rocket and went whirring round the room with it, making childish pow! noises. Dad shook his head at her.
‘I give up,’ he said. He looked at me and raised his eyebrows. ‘Oh well, just so long as you’re happy, Jodie. I suppose that’s all that matters.’
Dad didn’t seem to get that Jodie wasn’t happy.
She laughed loudly and clowned around but her face didn’t light up and her eyes were dead. She steered clear of Jed, never even nodding in his direction, but I knew she was missing him terribly.
I took Heidi back to Mrs Wilberforce and told her that Jodie was no longer keeping company with Jed.
‘That’s good,’ said Mrs Wilberforce.
‘Yes, I suppose so. But Jodie doesn’t see it like that. She’s not very happy.’
‘She’s not making poor Mr Michaels very happy either. He came to tea the other day and seemed at his wits’ end. I felt sorry for the poor man. He’s teaching Harley, who’s much cleverer than all of us put together, and Jodie, who’s going out of her way 326
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to be disruptive. So Pearl, she’s being really really bad – what is Jodie good at?’
I thought hard.
‘She’s good at heaps and heaps of things. She’s funny and she makes up wonderful stories and she’s always looked after me and made sure I’m safe.
That’s what she’s totally best at, being my big sister.’
Mrs Wilberforce nodded. ‘Mmm. That’s a splendid testimony. Well, I shall ponder that. Now, perhaps you might fancy borrowing a book about sisters? Let me see – you must have read Little Women?’
‘Well, I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never really got round to reading it,’ I said.
‘It’s a lovely book. You’ll especially like the relationship between Jo and Beth. Oh, you lucky girl, to be reading Little Women for the first time. Which book are you reading in class at the moment?’
‘Oh, it’s not like your lovely books, it’s about nowadays. It’s a story about twins. I’ve read it before, but it’s so sad – they break f
riends, and then one of them goes off to boarding school and the other doesn’t and it ends there. I wanted it to end with them living together again and never ever being separated.’
‘Maybe you could write your own new ending for the story?’ said Mrs Wilberforce. ‘Are you still writing your journal?’
‘Oh yes,’ I lied. I hadn’t been able to bear writing about the badger cub dying and all the sad things since.
Mrs Wilberforce was watching my face. ‘What about you, Pearl? I know you’re doing brilliantly in class. Mrs Lewin waxes lyrical about you.’
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‘Really?’ I said, blushing.
‘And she says you’ve made lots of friends too.’
‘Yes, well, sort of,’ I said. ‘I especially like Harriet.’
‘So why don’t you run off to the girls’ house now and play with Harriet for a bit?’
I hadn’t ever gone calling for Harry before. We sat next to each other in class and we chatted together at play time, but I always went back to our flat after tea. I felt stupidly shy of going to find her.
What if she didn’t really want to see me?
‘Off you go!’ said Mrs Wilberforce.
‘Am I allowed?’ I asked pathetically. ‘I mean, the matron won’t mind?’
‘You’re not frightened of Matron, are you, Pearl?’
said Mrs Wilberforce, laughing at me.
‘I’m frightened of everyone,’ I said.
‘Are you frightened of me?’
I hesitated. She burst out laughing, but then she covered her mouth with her good hand, looking concerned.
‘The little children are frightened of me, I know.
Because of the wheelchair and the way I look now.’
‘No, no,’ I argued awkwardly.
‘Yes, yes. And it’s so sad, because I used to teach the little ones and they were always so sweet. Some of the boarders used to call me Mummy. I’d go and tuck them up at night and read them a story.
Matron’s very good with them but she doesn’t have the time, she’s got so much else on her plate.’
‘Perhaps you could still go along, in your wheelchair?’
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