Runaway Groom

by Fiona Lowe

  “I’ll miss him when he leaves.”

  Al raised one brow. “You’ve always had a soft spot for the men under forty.”

  “Al Swenson, you say the darnedest things. That boy is younger than my Adam.”

  He folded the paper in half. “I was thinking of going for a ride out by Lakeview Farm. Luke wants me to look at one of his tractors.”

  “I did promise Erin a jar of my cranberry relish.”

  Al rubbed his beard. “If you go get it, I’ll take it out there for you.”

  “And risk you breaking it?” She crossed her arms against the zip of excitement that tumbled in her chest. “I don’t think so.”

  He nodded slowly. “You’re right. Looks like you’ll just have to come along then, Ellie.”

  She smiled. “Looks like I will.”

  * * *

  Just after lunch, Amy had told Ben that her entire extended family was going for a walk along the lake before starting their long drive back to Illinois. He’d decided not to join them, giving them some Sagar-only time, so he was surprised to find Todd sitting by the prow window in the great room with a baby monitor next to him.

  Since Todd had followed him to the kitchen on the very first day, Ben had generally tried to avoid any alone time with him and he’d succeeded right up until now.

  He was about to turn back when Todd glanced up.

  “Ben.”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. “G’day, Todd. I thought you were out walking with the others?”

  “Aiden fell asleep so I offered to stay.”

  “Grandfather duty?” Ben took a seat and reached for a magazine.

  “Once you’re a father you’re never off duty.” Todd’s gray eyes, so similar to Amy’s, had a flinty edge. “So, Ben, what are your intentions with my daughter?”

  “Intentions?” Ben hadn’t been interrogated like this since he was fourteen and had let off rocket caps in the school quadrangle.

  Todd sighed. “I know Amy’s thirty-two but as much as I like you, Ben, you’re not the sort of guy she usually dates.”

  He used what he’d learned. “How would you really know? Amy doesn’t date much. In fact, I think I’m guy number three.”

  Surprise washed over Todd’s face. “She told you that?”

  “Yes.”

  “She’s aiming for vice president of her department.” Worry lines scored the bridge of his nose. “Did she tell you that too?”

  Giving Todd the truth still felt like lying. “No.”

  “Her job’s important to her. Always has been.”

  “Cut to the chase, Todd. What are you saying?”

  He leaned forward. “Don’t go suggesting she go traveling with you.”

  Relief rushed him. Despite it being the twenty-first century, he’d been thinking Todd was about to pressure him to marry Amy. “I never intended to ask her, Todd.”

  “Good.” The emphatic answer shot around the room as he leaned back in his chair. “I’m glad that’s settled. No hard feelings, Ben. It’s just like you said, Amy hasn’t dated much and, well, I’m not too old to remember the heady feeling of lust.” He ran his hands through his hair. “It can blind you to sensible decisions and we’d hate to think she’d throw away everything she’s worked so hard for.”

  Like you did? “Todd, if I was dating Cindy, Heidi or Sally, would we be having this conversation?”

  Something flickered in his eyes. “Amy’s special.”

  “Jeez, you’re making her sound disabled.”

  “What I mean is that we’ve always worried more about her than her sisters. She’s different, very different from them. She takes life far more seriously.”

  Just like you. And that’s when he saw it. While her sisters were very similar to Lisa, Amy was most like Todd. Whatever the story, somehow the serious guy had caught the eye of and fallen for the pretty cheerleader. As a result his life had changed irrevocably. In Todd’s eyes, Ben was the cheerleader and although Amy wasn’t a twenty-year-old, Todd was living part of his life vicariously through Amy. If Amy jumped on the bike and came with him, Todd would be losing out for a second time.

  He finally understood why Amy was avoiding telling Todd and Lisa that she’d lost her job. Not that he thought she should withhold the information, but he could now see the weight of Todd’s expectations was heavy. Part of him wanted to ask her to come traveling with him just to spite Todd but he wasn’t that dumb. He knew Amy wouldn’t come and as much as he loved this time with her, he, too, knew it had an end date. Still, this Amy-Todd dynamic wasn’t healthy.

  He lurched to his feet. “Amy doesn’t like to disappoint people,” he said obliquely, hoping Todd would take his point that Amy didn’t want to disappoint him.

  Todd nodded. “That’s true. It’s why she works so hard. You know she started a charity for sick children where she works? She spent months convincing the board it was an important corporate responsibility and now, the way they talk about it, you’d think it was their idea.”

  He didn’t know she’d started a charity, but he wasn’t surprised because Amy had a huge heart. He stuck out his hand. “It’s been interesting, Todd. Have a safe trip back to Bloomington.”

  “Thanks for the ride on Red.” Todd shook his hand.

  To hell with being oblique. “Ask Amy about the V.P. position.”

  He walked out of the room before Todd could ask him why.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Melissa swung her feet up onto Scott’s couch having arrived five minutes earlier. It was just past eight and Lily was in bed. “Hurry up. I’m sure you didn’t invite me over on your night off to leave me here all on my own.”

  “Keep your pants on,” he said from the kitchen.

  She laughed. “I didn’t imagine that was your plan for this evening at all.”

  Scott had texted her midafternoon, inviting her over, which had surprised her because apart from that one time after Lily’s party, generally their alone time was spent at her house.

  “Actually, my plans for you this evening are many and varied.” He set down a beer sampler tray from the Udder Bar.

  Surprise scudded through her. “You only want me for my well-defined beer taste buds?”

  “You fishing for compliments?”

  “Always.”

  “You already know you’re good.”

  Smiling, he leaned down and kissed her and she was glad she was already sitting or her knees might have given way.

  She’d expected that using Scott to scratch her itch for sex would have run its course by now, but it hadn’t happened. He just had to kiss her and she wanted him and if anything that need had grown stronger. She thought about him way too much between booty calls. The thing was, when Lily was around and it was a no-touch zone, they still had plenty to talk about. The sex part had got all tangled up with a friendship, leaving her in a place she’d never found herself before—friends with a lover.

  Not wanting to think too much about what that all meant, she studied the color of each beer and breathed in deeply the aroma before sipping it. She closed her eyes as she drank the beer, swishing each one around her mouth and savoring the distinctive flavors. One tasted of cranberries and malt, another of pumpkin and cinnamon, and the third had a distinctive nutty caramel flavor. She smiled. “Are you and Johan planning a holiday lineup of beers?”

  “Yep,” he said with a grin. “We’re hoping the ladies will go wild for the sweeter taste. We thought they were ready but we wanted your take.”

  “I concur with the brewmaster. So that’s the beer, what else?” she said before continuing to sip the cranberry brew.

  “Yesterday was grandparents’ day at school and Johan stood in for my dad.” He sat down next to her, his leg pressing gently against hers as he brought u
p a photo of Lily on his phone. The little girl was wearing the dress she’d bought her and was grinning widely at the camera while clutching Johan’s hand. “Pretty cute, right?”

  “Adorable.” She smiled at him. “And go you. You managed to tie the ribbons.”

  He laughed. “And they lasted all of five minutes before they fell out but Lily paraded around the kindergarten room as if she owned it. The problem came at bedtime when she wanted to sleep in the dress. To distract her, I showed her that children’s clothing catalog you gave me, and now she wants everything in it.”

  “Girl power.” She laughed, wishing Lily was still up so she could high-five her. “A girl knows what a girl likes.”

  Scott gave her a look that was probably supposed to be critical but it came over as indulgent. “Seeing as you unleashed the fashionista in the five-year-old, I figured you could choose her one dress, one cardigan and a coat and then I’ll order them online.”

  “Sure, I can do that but...”

  “But what?”

  She hesitated for a moment, not sure how he’d respond to what she was about to say. “Can I choose the clothes with Lily? I can narrow down the field and let her pick from two or three. What do you think?”

  He stared at her for a long moment and then hauled her into his arms and kissed her like she was about to vanish.

  She kissed him back, loving the feel of him against her, but also very aware they were in his house. Although they’d had sex here once, she was still worried that Lily might wake up. As his hand reached her bra strap, she broke the kiss.

  His brows drew together. “Problem?”

  “What if Lily wakes up?”

  He nodded, his face filled with understanding. “I wanted to talk to you about that.” He nestled her between his legs, snuggling her back against his chest and entwining their legs along the length of the couch. He buried his face in her hair. “So this thing between you and me...”

  Her breath caught for a moment and all she could hear was the thundering of her heart. Was he ending it? “What about it?”

  “I want it to have a future.”

  The quietly spoken but unexpected words boomed in her ears like an explosion. She pushed up, turned around and faced him. “What did you say?”

  His eyes glowed with love. “I want a future with you. You, me and Lily.”

  She couldn’t move air in or out of her lungs. No. No, no, no, no. “Scott, I...”

  “Shh,” he put a finger to her lips, “let me finish. I know we agreed this was just sex and it’s been amazing but getting to know you has been even better.” He stroked her hair gently. “The thing is, after Margaret, I never thought I’d want to be with anyone ever again but I was wrong. These last few weeks with you have been the best times of my life and I want more of them. Lots more.”

  She stared at him, her blood surging through her veins and spreading panic all the way down to the smallest cells. A lump the size of Texas clogged her throat. “I...I don’t know what to say.”

  Yes you do. Say no.

  A slow, comprehending smile wove across his face. “We don’t have to go fast. In fact, for Lily’s sake, we should go slow but I wanted us both to be on the same page. Know this is something special and that we’re moving forward together.” He kissed her gently. Reverently. “I love you.”

  Scott was having trouble reading Melissa’s expression, which seemed frozen although her beautiful blue eyes were wide and shocked. Suddenly, he felt her palms pressing hard against his chest and then she was on her feet.

  “I’m sorry, Scott.”

  The entreaty in her voice told him he’d stunned her. Hell, he hadn’t meant to do that. He shot to his feet and grabbed her hands. “There’s no need to be sorry. I know I took you by surprise and it’s a lot to process.”

  “You did. It is.” Her face paled and a tremor ran through her and directly into him. She pulled her hands away and hugged herself. “The thing is, Scott, you’re not who I want.”

  The hit pierced him, sucking out the joy. He thought about everything they’d done together—the laughter, the caring—and rose to his feet. “I don’t understand. You can’t deny these last few weeks have been more than just sex.”

  “That’s true,” she said almost reluctantly.

  He rubbed his jaw as if that would help make sense of her words. “So what did they mean?”

  “I don’t know.” She wrung her hands. “I mean, I do know. I really like you, Scott. You’re a wonderful man and a great father. It’s just...”

  Lily? He couldn’t believe he’d got it so wrong. “You’re rejecting me because of Lily?”

  “God, no.” She shook her head so hard her hair flew everywhere, jarring the sleek bob.

  “What then?”

  She blew out a long breath. “I want to be married and have a family.”

  Relief parachuted in like storm troopers and he smiled. “I didn’t want to freak you out by proposing today and maybe I didn’t make myself clear but marriage and a family is exactly what I’m offering you.”

  An agonized look crossed her face. “Yes, but you’re complicated. I don’t want complicated.”

  Complicated? He didn’t understand what she meant. He was just like any other guy with a kid, wanting the best for them and working to try and provide it. “How the hell am I complicated?”

  Her face became pinched as if she was fighting something and she remained silent.

  “Melissa?”

  “You’re divorced. You have an ex-wife and a child.”

  He moved to reassure her. “I already told you that Margaret is very unlikely to ever reappear in my life.”

  “Yes, but you don’t know that.” Her eyes took on a haunted hue. “One day she might wake up and regret having abandoned Lily and want to be part of her life again.”

  “That is never going to happen.”

  “But you can’t guarantee that.”

  “I can’t guarantee the world is going to be here tomorrow either but chances are it will be.” He put his hands on her shoulder, desperate to convince her she had nothing to worry about. “My feelings for Margaret such as they were, died a very long time ago. Even if she did make contact again, and she won’t, there isn’t a single spark of affection in the ashes of our relationship that could be fanned. I promise you that. It’s you I love. You.”

  She sucked in her lips and raised her gaze to him, her eyes filled with sorrow.

  “It’s not just your ex. I’ve seen what happens to marriages when there’s not a lot of money. Living in cramped conditions, counting every penny and how that strain turns love bitter and hateful. I don’t want to ever risk that.”

  He looked around at the small house he’d rented, which at the time had seemed fine for Lily and him, and saw it through Melissa’s eyes. “Of course we’d move into a bigger house,” he said, going into fix-it mode. “I know it doesn’t look like much now because I’m just starting up my music school but it will grow into a solid business and in the meantime, the bar work’s regular. Besides, we’d be a two-income family so I’m sure we can find a house you like. What else?”

  She closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath.

  His unease returned and immediately doubled.

  When she opened her eyes, they were filled with pleading. A pleading to understand. “I want a baby, Scott. My baby. You can barely afford to care for yourself and Lily let alone take on another child.”

  The glancing blow his heart had taken when he’d thought she’d misunderstood him suddenly deepened into a gushing wound. “Wouldn’t that be our baby?”

  Her brow furrowed. “Do you really want another child? Would you risk having another child?”

  Her words pummeled him as memories sucked him back to the moment the doctor had said, “Mr. Knapp,
I’m afraid I have some difficult news,” and all his dreams for his baby daughter had shattered. “I don’t know.”

  “Exactly. You’re complicated.” Tears ran down her cheeks. “I’m thirty-four, Scott. I don’t have time to waste and I can’t afford to wait and see if you change your mind. It’s not a risk I’m prepared to take.”

  The slow burn of hurt ignited into anger. “So you’ve been slumming it with me, Melissa, while you wait for a rich, single guy to walk into your Whitetail life?”

  Her shoulders squared. “Please don’t cheapen what we’ve got, Scott. We both agreed that this was only supposed to be sex and I know it’s far more than that to me too. I’m sorry I can’t give you more than friendship. I really am.”

  Fuck friendship. He was beyond being calm, reasonable and adult. “Tell me, when Mr. Perfect does finally show up and fall in love with you, are you planning on slapping him with a DNA test?”

  She winced and picked up her purse. “That’s unfair.”

  He wrenched open the front door. “There’s no such thing as perfect, Melissa, and you’re going to die lonely if you think there is.”

  Melissa turned in the doorway and faced him. She hated that she’d hurt him but she refused to believe him. “You’re wrong. Other people have it.”

  He shook his head. “You just think they do. You’re looking at life like you look at clothes, Melissa. You mix and match so you’re perfectly coordinated and color-coded. That’s not real.”

  His words stung like the tail of a whip and she wanted to flee, but if felt like her insides were tearing. “I’ll text you about Lily’s clothes.”

  “Don’t bother.”

  “Scott, please don’t be like this. I still want to help.”

  His hazel eyes burned hot and angry. “Lily and I will deal with it on our own. Goodbye, Melissa.”

  The finality of his words made her fight back. “This is Whitetail. We’re going to run into each other.”

  “I doubt that. Your perfect world is unlikely to intersect with my messy one.”

  The door slammed shut in her face.