While his days were busy with the final few classes and studying, Tumi’s nights were hard. Thoughts of Edgar were always there, especially in the room that they had shared together for a few short weeks, as Tumi looked at the bed that still stood empty. It was too late in the semester to get a new roommate, and Tumi would’ve actually welcomed the distraction of a different person hanging around. Now, he had too much time and space to spend with his own thoughts as he struggled to fall asleep every night.
Some nights, Tumi spent time looking at Edgar’s social media pages, chastising himself for still carrying a torch for Edgar but also too curious to see if there would be any new updates on his pages. Somehow, even though Edgar had been fairly active before he left South Africa, there had been no updates since his announcement that he was returning to Cambridge. The last picture he had posted, only two days after arriving back in London, was of himself walking the streets of the city. Tumi couldn’t tell if Edgar looked happy. And the fact that he hadn’t posted anything since that picture made Tumi feel even worse about everything; Edgar must’ve been so wrapped up in getting back to his regular life that he wasn’t even thinking about social media, about the possibility that Tumi might have been checking in to see those green eyes again.
All Tumi could try to do was move on. As he walked to Prof. Nkuna’s class, he felt sad that Edgar wouldn’t be there to hear who had scored the best performance at mock court and the extra credit that went along with it. Tumi even longed for the things that he once found so annoying about Edgar: the unmade bed, the overconfident gait… Some days, there was even a physical pain that Tumi couldn’t quite place, and he knew that he was sick over the way that things had ended with Edgar. He wished that he could go back. He pictured how he could have said things differently and all the times he could have tried to change the course of his relationship with Edgar. Maybe if Tumi hadn’t been so sure that he had summed up everything there was to know about Edgar after their first interaction almost six months before, they could’ve been in a very different place with each other.
The truth was that Tumi knew that he found Edgar attractive even from the very start. He knew that there was a connection between them. He simply couldn’t admit it because he thought that Edgar was just like the guys who used to follow him around. Tumi wished that he had known the real Edgar from the start.
As he walked into Prof. Nkuna’s lecture hall, students were already chattering nervously, and many eyes turned to Tumi as he walked in. He knew that there was a good chance he would be ranked as the top student for mock court. He knew that he had done well in the final session, and that Prof. Nkuna finding in their favor was largely due to Tumi’s performance and knowledge of the law. He tried to ignore the eyes as he made his way towards Judy, who was sitting near the front of the lecture hall. She gave him a cheerful smile as he sat down, and they chatted about their marathon study sessions and about the excitement of the approaching final semester as law students. Tumi tried to return Judy’s cheerful demeanor, but he was struggling on that morning more than ever. Judy clearly noticed, and frowned slightly as she asked, “Have you heard from Edgar yet? Has he completely cut off communication?”
Tumi cocked his head and said, “Both of us have. I think we definitely need space. He made it quite clear that he’s not interested in pursuing anything with me, and I made it clear that I don’t care.”
Judy said: “But you do care. Maybe if you told him that…”
“It’s no use. What would be the point? He’s back at Cambridge, I’m here at Ridgemont. We hardly got to know each other. All we had were a few good moments. I just need to get over it. I need to move on. He clearly has.”
Judy rubbed Tumi’s shoulder sympathetically, and gave a soft smile. “I’m sorry, Tumi. The last thing I wanted was for this to happen. I was rooting for you guys. But on the bright side, we can have a single girls’ night out on the town after exams. What do you say?”
Tumi nodded halfheartedly. Even though he had no desire to be social, he tried to act as enthusiastic as he could.
Judy perked up suddenly and said, “Oh! Have you heard the good news? Neville called me last night. He says he tried to call you too but your phone was off. He proposed to Kelly a few days ago and she said yes! They’re coming to Cape Town to tell their parents in a few days and they want us to all catch up. Isn’t it exciting?”
Judy looked giddy as she stared at Tumi. He was very happy for Neville. The relationship that Neville and his girlfriend Kelly had built over the past few years had been an inspiration to Tumi. And he missed his friend terribly. It would be good to catch up with him again. Tumi said, “That’s fantastic news! I’m happy for both of them. I’ll call him as soon as we get out of class.”
As the two friends continued to discuss the new development, Prof. Nkuna walked into the lecture hall and a nervous hush fell over the students. Nkuna looked extremely professional in a long grey skirt and navy jacket. Her hair was styled into a frizzy bob, and she wore her thick rimmed spectacles. As she reached the front of the classroom, she briefly looked in Tumi’s direction and lifted her head in a stealthy greeting. Tumi returned the gesture, careful not to be too obvious in front of his classmates. The lecture began and Prof. Nkuna congratulated the class on their excellent performances, listing the strengths of the many arguments and how the teams worked together to build strong cases.
Finally, she was ready to announce the top performer. Her warm, commanding voice rang out over the lecture hall: “Every year, the student who excels at mock court and truly exemplifies the qualities we try to foster in our graduates is awarded with extra credit. I’m also pleased to announce that the law society has agreed to award this year’s top student with a partial scholarship to pursue postgraduate law studies.” Tumi and Judy looked at one another. This was news to all of the students. Prof. Nkuna continued, “This year’s top student showed a vast knowledge of the law, and argued with reason and passion. The student demonstrated professionalism and an impressive level of control under pressure. Please join me in congratulating the brilliant achievement by Mr. Edgar Boatwright!”
Tumi’s heart jumped into his throat, and he felt himself almost go dizzy with shock. He hadn’t expected that at all. Edgar’s team hadn’t even won the case, but somehow he was still awarded as the best student… It didn’t make any sense. Tumi had a million emotions running through him. He felt Judy’s eyes burning into his side, obviously just as shocked as he was. The rest of the students were equally perplexed, many looking at Tumi with a mixture of confusion and pity. As Tumi turned to look at the rest of the classroom for a brief moment, he spotted Hein’s face, the smug satisfaction apparent. Tumi wished that he could sink into the ground.
When Prof. Nkuna was told that Edgar had already left the country, she said that she would have to inform him of his award via email. The rest of the class was spent in a daze. Tumi could hardly hear a word that Prof. Nkuna said as she explained the exam format and revised the important cases the students needed to know. The two hours flew by, and before Tumi knew what was happening, the class was dismissed and the other students were already leaving. Tumi stood up, saying goodbye to Judy and assuring her that he was okay, but his pride was hurt. For some reason, he hadn’t even entertained the thought that Edgar would beat him. He had studied hard, and he thought that his final performance was enough to overcome the tricks Edgar had pulled in the earlier two sessions. He had to talk to Prof. Nkuna.
Tumi went up to her as most of the other students left and she was packing her files. She looked almost surprised to see that Tumi had come up to see her. She removed her glasses as she looked at Tumi with interest. “Can I help you, Mr. Moketla?” she asked, her voice still strong and professional.
“Prof., I just wanted to ask you… I respect your decision, but I’m wondering what I could have done to improve. Our team won the case, and I think that I had a really strong final session and closing arguments. I’m not trying to challenge you
…”
The look on Prof. Nkuna’s face made Tumi feel small. She said, “Mr. Moketla, I think you’ll find that your final performance was not quite as convincing as you might think. This might not be what you want to hear right now, but I will be blunt with you. In a few months, I believe that you will look back on this and understand what I’m saying. There is a difference between winning a case, and being an excellent lawyer. You are a very good lawyer right now, Tumi, but you didn’t show that during mock court. Not even in the final session. All I could see was the fact that you were bringing your emotions into the courtroom, forgetting about the foundations and arguing with the certainty that you were right. When the opposing team tried to challenge you, you reacted like someone who was personally wounded. When Mr. Boatwright gave excellent, reasoned, detailed arguments, you acted like he was attacking you personally in some way. And even when you presented a stronger argument than him in the final session, you did it with a sense of moral superiority, like you were teaching him a lesson. This is not the way that you deal with the Constitution. I’m not saying that you don’t fight for what’s right, but you can’t see the law as a way to even a score or as something to support your personal convictions. If you do that, you stumble, like you did in your first two sessions. You allow someone to cut your throat and you feel vindicated even in defeat because you were on the side of what you saw as right. In that way, you can judge and dehumanize someone else because they are wrong. And in the process, you miss out on so much. It might not make sense to you right now, but I want you to think about that. I know it will make you a stronger lawyer.”
Tumi felt tension building in his chest. He felt incredibly frustrated by what Prof. Nkuna was saying. How could she pretend to have so much insight into what Tumi was thinking and feeling in the courtroom? How could she tell him that he shouldn’t fight for what’s right? Isn’t that the whole point of the Constitution? Tumi bit his tongue, and even though he knew his expression belied his true emotions, he simply said, “Thank you for explaining, Prof. Nkuna. I’ll think about what you said.”
Prof. Nkuna seemed ready to say something else, but Tumi turned on his heel before giving her the chance. He had had enough of disappointments and lectures for the day. He didn’t need the insinuation that he was a mediocre lawyer just because he cared about what was right.
Tumi walked back to his room, a million thoughts flowing through his brain. Even when he was gone, Edgar was still giving Tumi grief. Tumi went to Donovan Square, to the quiet bench where he had sat with Edgar on the night they had kissed under the stars. He felt defeated. It had been a long semester. Tumi took his phone out of his pocket. He had to phone Neville to congratulate him on his engagement. But as Tumi began scrolling through his contact list, the chill of the air on his cheeks, he stopped at Edgar’s name. The phone number would definitely not be in service anymore, as it was a South African SIM card, but still Tumi pressed the dial button. He held the phone to his ear, expecting to hear a voicemail prompt or an out of service tone, not really knowing what he was doing. But to his surprise, the phone rang. And after two rings, there was an answer.
“Tumi?” Edgar’s voice came through the receiver.
“Edgar? Are you in South Africa?”
Chapter 27
Edgar sat at the coffee shop in Cape Town City, sipping on his cold chai tea. He could feel the pulses of anxiety in his body, and tried to steady his breathing. The coffee shop was almost empty, and it was late afternoon as the crowds in the city began to make their way home from a long day of work. The sounds of taxis and cars honking in the narrow streets and the many different styles of outfits and hairstyles that Edgar saw through the window made him feel oddly at home in the place. He was uncertain about what Tumi would say to him. Edgar was determined to just go back to Cape Town for a few days, spend a short time at Ridgemont to finish his exams and then head back to Cambridge. After Edgar had promised Wesley that he would stay on track, Wesley had agreed to talk to their father so that Edgar could go back just to get his credits for Prof. Nkuna’s course. Edgar was happy that he was given the chance, but he had decided before he returned that he wouldn’t make plans to see Tumi. It would be too complicated for the both of them.
Which is why it came as such a shock when Edgar felt his phone vibrating earlier in the day and saw Tumi’s number. He couldn’t believe that Tumi had found out that he was back, and it was obviously a sign that they should see each other one last time. Edgar wasn’t sure if it was a way of torturing himself or just something he needed to do, but regardless, he arranged to meet Tumi that same day. But as he sat waiting for Tumi to arrive in the city, he had no idea if he was making a huge mistake.
It had been a nonstop slew of activity over the past two weeks back at Cambridge. Edgar had spoken to his professors and arranged to do a few catch-up courses the following semester. If he still wanted to graduate in time with his degree in International Law, he had to work hard over the coming months. His father had been much more pliant when Edgar had explained over the phone that he was determined to use his degree to expand the family business overseas. Lawrence Sr. even used the word “pleased” with his son, which was something Edgar almost never heard before. He was trying to mend fences; if he had no choice but to stay in England and work for his father eventually, then the least he could do was start to build a good relationship with the man. A part of Edgar had always resisted, thinking that his father was trying to turn him into something that he didn’t want to be. But Edgar didn’t have a clue what he wanted to be anyway, so he figured that he would go along with what his father wanted until he figured out his own life.
Edgar spotted Tumi through the glass entryway of the coffee shop. Tumi wore a black coat to shield off the chilly air, and his expression looked equally as nervous as Edgar felt. Tumi walked in and scanned the room before spotting Edgar, and walked over with his feet seeming wobbly. Why had Tumi decided to call Edgar again? Why did he even agree to meeting up after the way that Edgar had treated him?
Tumi sat down at the small coffee table, and Edgar was unsure about whether a hug or a handshake would be appropriate, so he did neither and just half-waved hello. “How are you, Tumi?”
“I’m fine,” Tumi said, not maintaining eye contact with Edgar. “Cold. How are you?”
Edgar shrugged, “Okay. I’m really glad that you called. I didn’t know that you’d want to see me. I’m only back for a few days. Who told you I was in town?”
“No one,” Tumi responded. “I just… I dialed your number out of the blue. I…” Tumi stammered, clearly uncertain of how to express himself.
“Well, I’m glad you did. I’ve been staying with my aunt in Kalk Bay. I thought it would be better than going back to Ridgemont. I got back two days ago, and I’ve just been preparing for the exam. But I’m glad I get to see you while I’m here. I didn’t like the way we left things.”
“Why did you skip Prof. Nkuna’s class today?” Tumi stared at Edgar as he asked the question, his eyes searching. Edgar couldn’t tell him the truth. He couldn’t say that he was scared of seeing Tumi again, of his feelings resurfacing the way that they were in that coffee shop.
“I wasn’t feeling up to it,” was all Edgar said.
“Well, I don’t know if she got in touch with you yet about the mock court performance. She said she’d email you but you can let her know that you’re in town.”
“I haven’t heard from her,” Edgar said. “I suppose congratulations are in order?”
Tumi cocked his head, “They are, in fact. Congratulations. You were the top student this year.”
Edgar’s mind was reeling. Surely, there was a mistake. He knew that Tumi’s team had won the case, and that Tumi had delivered the final arguments that had secured the victory. Why would Edgar be awarded as top student. “I don’t understand,” Edgar said.
“I didn’t either, at first. I’ve been thinking about it all day. That was part of the reason I called you. But I’m starting
to get it. Not that I’m saying you’re not a brilliant lawyer. You totally are!” Tumi said, catching himself possibly insulting Edgar. “There’s also the award from the law society. Do you know about that? They’re giving a partial scholarship for the top student to do postgraduate studies.”
Edgar’s surprise showed all over his face. It was too much information to process. “I had no idea,” he said. “I don’t know why I would get it. I’m sorry, Tumi. I know how much you wanted it. I wasn’t trying to take anything away from you.”
To Edgar’s surprise, Tumi burst out in laughter. His face seemed genuinely amused. Edgar frowned, and Tumi said, “You have nothing to apologize for. I knew you’d be my main competition. I have to admit that I thought I would win. But you deserve it, Edgar. You studied just as hard and you were quicker on your feet in court, especially during the first two sessions. Don’t downplay that. I was hurt when I didn’t get the award, but I’m a big boy. I’ll get over it. In fact, we should celebrate.” Tumi gave a jovial smile and walked over to the counter to order something as Edgar sat watching him. He had missed Tumi terribly. Seeing him again was harder than Edgar imagined it would be. Everything about being so close to Tumi was making it harder to ever think of leaving again in only a few short days. And hearing that he had won a scholarship, that there might be a chance he could go back to Ridgemont… He had no idea what to think.
But it was presumptuous to think that Tumi would just forgive and forget everything Edgar had put him through. And Edgar had made a promise to his father that he would stick out the next semester at Cambridge. It was part of the reason his father had agreed to let Edgar fly back for his final exams at Ridgemont. If he just turned his back on all of that, he would be undoing so much progress. He would just be proving his father and brothers right when they said that Edgar was undependable and selfish. Although, if it gave him the chance to be with Tumi, it might just be worth making them all upset.
Swift Justice Page 16