by Celeste, B.
It isn’t until papers are distributed and he focuses on something laid out on the podium in front of him that I drift off in thought. My mind conjures up memories of hot summers helping Dad paint the house red, or Mom replant Hosta that Jesse backed over trying to get out of the driveway. Along with those memories are ones of a smiling face and deep-set dimples that always made me blush when they were directed at me in a friendly manner. I’d get so angry when Carter ruffled my hair like I was a little kid.
He’s older than Jesse by six years and older than Danny by ten. In a strange alternate universe, he could even be one of Dad’s kids from a previous marriage like Jesse and Hanna, my late half-sister. That’d been the running joke growing up, since Carter found his way to our house more times than not since his own father worked a lot. He got along with my entire family and treated me like an annoying little sister. I was the youngest as it was, and Jesse reminded me of that when I got away with things they never could. Daddy’s Princess was snarked at me countless times until I’d snap.
The sudden sound of my name being called pulls me away from the thoughts lingering from my youth. It’s not the typical monotone drone of a bored professor dreading another intro-level class. There’s surprise webbed into the rasp of each syllable as he repeats my name again, letting it roll off his lips like he’s testing it’s out after years of never speaking it.
“Piper Montgomery?”
When my face tilts upward to see the professor searching the room with narrowed eyes, I squirm and clear my throat. “Here.”
His eyes instantly snap to mine, a noticeable shift in posture straightening his spine as one of his dark brows arch a fraction.
In that moment I know for sure that this is the same man I’ve told myself I secretly hated when he didn’t show up to the funeral home. The same person I housed a crush on for a long time when I was younger, and the very same individual who I hoped I wouldn’t have to see again because I wouldn’t know what to say.
Carter Ford.
Professor Carter Ford.
When the hell had that happened?
I could tell he wanted to say something, but he’d already spent more time on me than he did on the others still waiting to be called on. The wheels are turning in his head as his eyes linger on my auburn locks that look different straightened and recolored compared to their normal curls and tone. I used to have freckles all over my cheeks which somehow faded as I got older. I’m leaner, curvier—I don’t look like I did back then. I’m older. More mature.
Giving him a slight shrug, I go back to jotting down some assignment due dates in my planner based on the syllabus schedule. He goes about finishing roll call before transitioning right to the basics of the course. I’m thankful, and not surprised, that he skips boring introductions. Nobody wants to know a fun fact about their peers, they just want to get through the class period so they can leave.
What would I say anyway? There’s nothing about my life that I deem fun enough for anybody to care about. I could tell them about Ainsley, but that would only raise questions about why a twenty-six-year-old is sitting in on a master’s class when I have a kid at home waiting for me. I’ve learned over the years that people are judgmental and I don’t have time for pricks.
Plus, there’s Carter. Carter who, to my knowledge, knows nothing about Ainsley. Danny admitted once that he fell out of touch with Carter for a while but had reached out before his death. I don’t know what they talked about or what they didn’t. Danny loved Ainsley with all his heart and loved his wife Willow just as much. I’m sure he would have brought them up because he was proud of his family. And I, in my infamous jealousy, always told him how happy I was when I wasn’t. Not at all.
Because he never truly knew how I felt.
Not even after Willow passed away giving birth to Ainsley, a fear he’d had since his mother passed the same way. I was just there for him, a shoulder to cry on like always. He and I were closer in age than he was with Jesse and Carter, another reason why they probably fell out of touch. Still, I want to believe that bringing up Ainsley wouldn’t strike any surprise in Carter’s features.
But I don’t know.
The period goes by quickly. I could tell everyone expected Carter to end the hour and fifteen-minute course early like most people do the first week of school. However, I know him better than that even if I pretend not to. He’s always been right to the point, which means beginning the lesson despite the gargled protests coming from people around me.
When he dismisses us, I notice the slightest burn on the top of my head as I bend down to stuff my makeshift notepad into my purse. His shined black shoes are visible from the corner of my eyes, standing still between me and the podium where he taught most of the class.
Glancing up, I give him a small reluctant smile before standing and draping the bag strap across my shoulder. “Hi.”
He blinks before his lips curve upward in the tiniest smile. I recognize the way his dimples pop even from the barely-there curve, keeping his expression professional but not. There’s a familiarity between us that wasn’t there when I walked in.
His eyes travel down me, but not in an uncomfortable manner. There’s no sexual nature to the shine of his eyes, just an old acquaintance who can’t believe the circumstances. “I’m surprised to see you here.”
“Honestly? Me too.” Huffing out a quiet laugh, I shake my head. “I just moved to Aberdeen about a year ago. There was a house open in the development off I-87. I’m thankful I was able to enroll here before last semester started.”
His brows pinch. “Is your family still in Newport?”
I nod. “It’s just me here. Sometimes Mom and Dad come and visit. I’ve got a friend nearby that suggested looking into a few places that were available for purchase.”
His arms cross over his chest. “So, you’re studying History?”
Another head bob.
“And you’re a…?”
Sighing, I note the time on my phone. “I have to get going, but I’m finishing my master’s. I started college right after high school but got a little … sidetracked, so I graduated with my bachelor’s later than expected.” Shrugging, I give him a half-ass wave. “Anyway, it was nice seeing you again, Professor Ford. See you Thursday?”
He visibly winces at the name. “It’s strange hearing you call me that, Piper. But yes. I’ll see you Thursday.”
Departing from the man who was my very first crush, I haul butt across campus to meet with my adviser. But I don’t listen to a single word the gray-haired woman says because my mind can’t brush off Carter-frigging-Ford.
Chapter Five
The sound of my name being called from a distance has my steps faltering on my way to the commuter lot. Stopping and searching the open quad coated with a thin layer of snow that the sun is quickly melting, I lock eyes on a familiar tall figure walking toward me from one of the new academic buildings.
“Piper,” Carter repeats, stopping a few feet away from me. The same messenger bag rests on his shoulder, wrinkling his otherwise perfect shirt.
“Where’s your jacket?”
“It’s fifty,” is all he says.
I just blink.
“How’s … everything?” The question catches me off guard, making my brows pinch. Small talk feels forced between us, and the awkward tension is thick in the air.
“Good.” I’m glad it doesn’t come out a skeptical question like it is in my mind. He never used to go out of his way when I was younger because we didn’t exactly hang around each other a lot.
It used to hurt my feelings, which made Danny feel bad too. Then he’d bribe me with cookies that Mable made and everything would seem better. Until the next time they said I wasn’t allowed to hang out with them.
Carter rubs the side of his jaw. “I spoke to Jesse a while ago. He sounds like he’s doing good. Settled.”
Jesse married a woman named Ren who’s a spitfire. She’s grounded him in ways he desperately needed. I thin
k all of us were worried he’d end up dead or in jail if he didn’t stop making stupid decisions.
“Yep.” I shift from one foot to another. “I should actually get going. I have plans. So…”
“Oh.” He nods slowly, stepping back as if there isn’t enough space between us already. “Of course. It’s good seeing you, Piper. Have a nice rest of your day.”
Not knowing what to say, I just wave and finish the trek back to my car. When I’m in, I text Jenna to tell her I need to talk to her about my weird day when I get home tonight. Until then, I make the drive to Ainsley’s school and pick her up.
Once she’s in her car seat, I give her a bright smile. “Good day back?”
Her shoulders lift.
“Excited to see Grandma Mable?”
Her eyes brighten as she nods her head quickly, pieces of her hair flying into her face. It makes me laugh as I buckle myself in and pull out onto the road.
“I know she’s looking forward to seeing you too, Nugget.” My eyes go to the rearview to see her looking out the window. “Maybe we can stop along the way and pick her up some flowers. Want to do that?”
Her eyes meet mine before she nods again, making me smile at her. Mable always had a vase full of flowers in the middle of her table growing up. She used to have a large flower garden in her backyard that she’d make Danny help keep up. Rose, tulips, lilac bushes, and everything in between was showcased on the prettiest lawn I ever saw.
I’ve always wanted a garden like hers.
I let Ainsley pick out an assortment of flowers at the florist we stop at occasionally before going to the nursing home. Ainsley’s hand holds mine tightly as she watches the woman in a green apron tie a bright purple ribbon around the plastic that she also helped pick out.
Unfortunately, our trip isn’t as long as we’d like. When we arrive, one of Mable’s attending nurses tells me that she’s been in an episode all day. She thinks seeing us will help, but we’re only permitted to stay an hour.
And an hour … it’s not long enough, but when Mable throws a fit and asks for her husband, who’s been dead for almost twenty years, I know I need to take Ainsley home. She doesn’t recognize us and fights with the nurses who try calming her down.
It breaks my heart to see the once carefree woman with a heart of gold so lost in herself. I want to hug her, to tell her I love her, but I know it won’t do any good. And when Ainsley starts crying after Mable knocks down the vase of flowers and shatters the glass, we’re all but shoved out the door before either of us can say goodbye.
When we get home, I have to carry an inconsolable little girl into the house who clings to me like she’s only done once before after she was discharged from the hospital following the accident. Flicking on the lights to lighten the house, I know we’ll be alone until sometime after midnight and it’s for the best.
There’s something written on the whiteboard attached to the fridge door that I notice immediately as Easton’s handwriting. After setting Ainsley on the counter, I open the refrigerator to confirm the casserole he says he made is there for us to heat up.
Another apology.
Jaw ticking, I close the door and turn back to Ains. She’s wiping at her face with the back of her shirt sleeve, causing me to grab a tissue from my purse and dab her damp cheeks. “I’m sorry, Nugget. Grandma Mable will be okay, she just wasn’t feeling well today.”
Like always, she’s silent.
I think of the casserole behind me and know I should put it in the oven. But I’m tired, hungry, and admittingly a little petty, so I opt to ignore his apology dish altogether. “Want some pizza? We can eat until our stomachs hurt and watch a movie.”
I manage to get a tiny nod and sniffle from her, which eases some of the tight muscles in my neck and shoulders. After her face is dry, I set her down and tell her to go pick a movie out for us to watch while I order our favorite. Half cheese for her, and half barbecue chicken for me. I tell myself not to bother ordering anything else, but I know it’d be rude to order us something and not Easton for when he’s home. So, I order his favorite veggie lover and hang up.
When I walk into the living room, Ainsley is wrapped in her lavender quilt like a little burrito, and I know she’s hurting. “Nugget? I know it may not feel like it, but everything will be okay. We’ll visit Mable again soon.”
Maybe after I call first next time just to be on the safe side.
She glances up at me and points to a DVD case on the coffee table. I smile and pick up our favorite movie to watch together. We know every song in The Wizard of Oz. I sing while she bobs her head, entranced by the colors, wardrobe, and talking animals.
And when she falls asleep hours later after her stomach is full and the movie ends, I know she’ll be all right. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually.
My bedroom door cracks open a little after eleven-thirty, and I know instantly from the large shadow and wafting scent of Armani that it’s Easton. He slips his head in and sees me leaning against the headboard with my phone in my hand. Sleep evades me tonight after seeing Mable, so I opted to pull up a book to read.
“You’re still awake,” he notes, closing the door quietly behind him.
“Mhmm.”
He leans against the back of the door, his hands shoved into the pockets of his dark jeans. I wait for him to say something, but he just watches me until I sigh and turn on the bedside lamp.
“You can’t buy me off with food, East.”
His Adam’s apple bobs. “I know.”
Does he? “There’s pizza downstairs on the counter if you didn’t see it. Veggie lovers. I promise I didn’t spit on it or hide bacon anywhere.”
His lips quirk up as he pushes off the door and saunters over. I know the look in his eyes. It’s probably the same one in mine—the one wanting to let go of every emotion building up just for a night.
“The casserole is chicken,” is what he replies with, making my brows arch. He sits down on the edge of the bed like he did last night, his hands not moving from his pockets. “I’m sorry for last night and this morning.”
I’m not going to back down. “Good. You should be.”
His chin dips. “How was your day?”
My nostrils flare as the heaviness settles further into my chest cavity. “Bad,” I whisper, powering off my phone and setting it on my stand. “Mable wasn’t doing well, and Ainsley had a breakdown. It was…” I shrug, letting my words fade into oblivion.
“I’m sorry,” he repeats gruffly.
I know he is.
Sorry doesn’t change anything though.
Shifting, I brush hair behind my head. “Is everything at the shop okay? Did you and Jay figure it out?”
“The cops found the guys who did it.”
Relief floods me. “Good.”
“They already spent the money.”
My eyes widen. “What? It happened less than twenty-four hours ago. How is that even possible?”
“Drugs.” One word. One word that stops my breathing as I stare at him. He says it so casually, so surely, that I can only assume the cops gave him more details than he’s willing to share with me.
“East…” My voice cracks as he meets my eyes, the blue tone of his softening. He searches my face for a moment before his gaze locks on my parted lips.
We both need this tonight.
He makes the first move, leaning forward and brushing his lips against mine softly. I angle my head to deepen the kiss, rising on my knees as he adjusts his body to sweep his tongue across my bottom lip until I open up for him and taste the usual peppermint from the gum he keeps in his pocket all the time. My arms wrap around his neck as his pull away the comforter and work their way under my thin sleep shirt until it’s up over my head and disposed of on the floor.
My bare breasts cause a noise to rise from the back of his throat right before he dips down and latches onto the pebbled nipples with his mouth, causing my chest to arch forward. Before I know it, I’m straddling his
lap, stripping off his shirt while he works me until I moan and writhe and pant his name.
His jeans come off.
My pajama shorts.
His black boxer briefs.
My panties.
When we’re bare, it doesn’t take long for him to work me until I need more than just his mouth and fingers. After sheathing him with a condom, I grab his hard length and guide it to my slick entrance, sinking onto him until he curses and groans. He grips my hips as I set a steady rhythm. His fingertips dig into me as his teeth tease my breasts, nipping, licking, and tugging at my beaded nipples until I ride him faster to chase an orgasm that quickly heats my core.
He holds me closer as he thrusts upward to meet my hips every time, and it’s everything I need. Silence. Lust. Want. It’s impersonal and sweaty but it works for us. The only thing that fills the room is our quickened breaths and subtle noises as we get closer and closer to the cliff we both want to jump off.
I kiss him hard and push him down flat on his back, using his chest as a way to hold myself upright as I circle my hips over him. He lets me use him, his head tipping back when I grind my hips against him and find the perfect position for his pubic bone to rub against my clit until I’m clenching around his length.
Digging my fingertips into his chest as I come, I feel him twitch and drive into me twice more before he finds release too.
I use his body as a pillow only long enough for the sated feeling to wear off. Once I climb off him and grab my clothes from the floor, I look over my shoulder to see his eyes on the ceiling as he catches his breath.
I say, “Thanks for the casserole.”
Chapter Six
The warm air from the heater I sit next to warms my cool skin as I sift through paperwork for students I’m tutoring this semester. Despite the wool jacket, thick sweater, and jeans I’m wearing, my cheeks and nose still feel numb from the bitter air outside. It’s the only reason people don’t side-eye me for sitting on the floor where it’s warm rather than one of the tables assigned for tutoring sessions.