by Celeste, B.
The blush deepens. “Yeah, it’s a boy.”
“Good for you, sweetie. I’ve watched you dedicate yourself to Mable and her granddaughter and hoped you’d find somebody to share your time with. Is he good to you?”
My throat thickens as I look up at her, lips wavering as I think about him. “Even better. He’s good to both of us.”
Her eyes warm. “I’m happy for you.”
“Thank you.”
She gives me one last look before walking back into the building, leaving me with Mable as she focuses on her garden. Dirt coats her light purple pants and the beige gloves on her hands. She seems to be content in the dirt and mulch, surrounded by life. Just watching her eases an anxiety in my chest even though this woman isn’t the same one who could bake the best cookies from memory alone. She never looked at recipes once or even measured the ingredients. She’d just pour everything into a bowl and the outcome would be the same every time.
“Muscle memory, dear,” she told me once. I always told her I wish I had that ability, but no matter how much she tried teaching me her favorite recipes I’d always mess them up. Danny never did though. He was a natural, just like his grandmother.
Thinking about him no longer hurts. Not the good memories anyway. Even on the off moments I think about our last night, I refuse to let it pierce my heart. We made a choice that can’t be taken back. There were consequences that can’t be changed. He couldn’t move on.
But I can.
Standing up, I hesitantly walk over to Mable and put my hands in the big pocket of the sweatshirt I stole from Easton this morning. “Hi, Mable. I know you don’t remember me, but I just wanted to say it was good seeing you. And…” I take a deep breath and watch her pat down the dirt around her freshly planted flower. “I’ve been thinking a lot about Danny, who you probably don’t remember either, but he was a great guy. Somebody we both cared for deeply. Anyway, I’ve been thinking a lot about the past and everything that’s happened between us, and I think I finally found peace. Happiness, even. I know you’ve told me that I’d find it with somebody someday, but I never believed you because I was too caught up in Danny, but you were right. I just wanted you to know.”
I lick my lips and watch her hands pause from her project before looking up at me slowly, the brimmed hat she wears shielding her eyes from the sun we’re graced with today. “I know, dear. You two were always meant to love other people.”
I gape at her.
Did she…? “Mable?”
She blinks.
I step closer. “I found the guy I could spend forever with. I really have. I think Danny would be happy with my choice.”
She smiles, but it falters. “Good, good.”
That’s it. The moment, the microscopic moment of clarity, is gone. But I take it as a victory because at least she remembered even if only for a second. It’s all I can ask knowing her condition is progressing.
“I love you,” I tell her softly, backing up.
She tilts her head. “You’re a very sweet girl to say that to an old woman like me.” I manage to smile before saying goodbye, nodding at the nurse who’s watching us letting her know I’m heading out. When I pass Douglas in the hall heading to the front doors, she brushes my arm as I pass her and gives me a warm smile.
“She’ll be okay, Piper,” she calls after me lightly. And I know she will. I trust everybody that works here who’s encouraged me throughout every visit. They let me have a birthday party for Ainsley and helped me calm down Mable when she had an episode and forgot us.
The people who work here are strong. They have to be to witness what happens to the patients. I don’t envy them, but I do respect them and what they do for families like mine.
When I make it outside, I see Easton sitting in the driver’s seat and glancing up at me from the sketchpad resting on the steering wheel. He closes it and sets it aside when I climb in and buckle. “You could have come in, you know.”
He shakes his head, leaning forward to give me a quick peck on the lips. “Another time, Piper. You needed to talk to her alone.”
He’s right. Again.
“Did it go okay?”
“She remembered me for a second.”
“That’s good.”
I lean back in the seat and study his profile as he backs out of the parking space and pulls out of the lot. “Yeah. It is.”
He glances at me for a moment before focusing back on the road. “Want to grab something to eat before we pick up Ainsley? I think I saw a diner on the way here.”
“You like diners?”
He smirks at me. “I like food.”
“A diner sounds nice.” I look out the window for a second, watching some colorful houses pass us by. “What made you start baking? Did you always like doing it? You’re a good cook too. You must practice.”
One of his shoulders lifts. “I cooked a lot for myself growing up. Sometimes I’d cook for my foster siblings if I was in a house with them. I couldn’t just feed them Ramen all the time, so I picked up a thing or two and got better at it.”
“And the baking?” I pry.
He pulls into a diner just down the road from the nursing home. It’s a cute little establishment tucked back on its own. When I look at him, I see his cheeks stained pink. “I’d watch a lot of baking shows on TV. Liked what I saw and would mess around in the kitchen once I saved up and got my own place. I never wanted to do it when I lived in a home because a lot of times the foster parents didn’t like you using their stuff or making a mess. Like I said, I was pretty lucky with who I was placed with. Didn’t mean I wanted to test them.” He doesn’t give me a chance to answer before he unbuckles and tips his chin toward the diner. “Come on, we can talk more inside. I have a feeling you have more questions.”
I grin. “You’d be right.”
He chuckles and leads us in, his hand wrapped in mine as we’re told to find a seat wherever we want. East picks a table in the back corner, away from other people. We sit across from each other and thank the waitress that comes and gives us menus and asks for our drink orders.
When we’re alone, I ignore the laminated menu in front of me. “Foster care sounds like it taught you a lot. Cooking, baking. Did you draw too? You’ve mentioned having sketchbooks filled with drawings from over the years.”
He glances up from the menu. “Yeah. My foster dad got me a sketchbook when he saw me using scrap paper from old school notebooks. He wasn’t a bad guy. Maybe a little distant but left us alone for the most part.”
“How many homes were you in?”
The waitress comes back with our drinks, two waters, before asking if we need more time to decide. We both nod. I watch her walk away as Easton looks back to the menu. “Four. Would have been three but the elderly woman I stayed with for a while passed away.”
I frown. “That’s so sad.”
He shrugs.
I give him a break to look over what they serve, deciding on a chicken sandwich and fries. We’re quiet until the waitress comes back and takes our order, grabbing the menus and leaving us be.
Sipping my water, I watch him stare at me before I decide to say anything again. “I struggled figuring out what I wanted to do for a while. Did you always know you wanted to be an artist?”
He nods. “Tattoos tell stories and I’ve always wanted to use my art to do that.” His eyes go to his sleeve. “Each tattoo I have has a story behind it. I never want to make a permanent mark that doesn’t mean something to me. After I got out of the system, I met Jay. I’d sold some drawings here and there to save up to get a cheap apartment a few hours away, got commissioned for doing a few tattoo designs. Jay saw some of the stuff I drew and asked if I was interested doing a little interning at a shop he worked at. I was poor and not stupid enough to pass it up. He gave me a chance, gave me a nicer place to stay when I told him where I lived, and the rest is history.”
“You guys are close, huh?”
“He’s practically my brother.”
That makes me smile. “That’s kind of how I am with Jenna. She’s been there for me through thick and thin, even when I pushed her away. She wouldn’t let me.”
“You two met in college, right?”
I tell him all about the orientation we met in, how she knew from that day we were destined to be friends. Me? I was shy and awkward and wondering why somebody as confident as her even bothered. I stayed in the corner and never talked to anybody. Then we shared some Gen Eds together and we got closer. She insisted it was fate and I bought into it, knowing I could use a friend on campus since Danny went to a different college. I told her all about him, about my feelings, about his girlfriend at the time. She bought me ice cream when their relationship developed and alcohol when they got engaged. And after his death? She slept at my apartment every single night, holding me together when I wanted to fall apart. I told her everything except the reason he stormed out.
It hurt too much to admit, to tell her I was responsible. I know she would have told me I was being stupid, scolded me, and I couldn’t hear that. I know now that I was wrong for holding onto that guilt for so long.
We’re halfway through lunch when I study his ink. My eyes trail over the beautiful flowers. “Did you draw all of the tattoos on you?”
“Jay did some,” he admits. “But I did most of them.” He points to the ones he did, trailing his fingers over one of the roses.
“Why the flowers?” He seems attached to the one he’s touching, maybe not even realizing that he’s doing it.
He sits back in his chair, blinking down at his arm before meeting my gaze. “Roses were my mother’s favorite flower.” My eyes widen at his reply. “I lied to you before. I did find my parents. My father left my mother shortly after they abandoned me. He was shot and killed in a hit and run not long ago. My mother found me about five years ago and reached out asking if I’d be interested in meeting. Jay drove me to the place we agreed on and stayed in the car while I spoke with her. She was dying of breast cancer. Said it was karma for what she’d done. I didn’t talk to her for more than an hour, but I learned a lot. She loved roses. She enjoyed baking. She dreamt of being an artist but never made it happen. She seemed proud of me.”
Sadness fills me as he trails off to look at something behind me. “It sounds like you two have a lot in common.”
“Had. She died shortly after we met.”
“I’m sorry, Easton.”
“I don’t think it was karma,” he says, blinking and clearing the sullen look filling his eyes. He wets his lips. “But I didn’t tell her that. I let her think it was. I’ve thought a lot about how that might have made a difference somehow in how she felt, like she got closure. I was pissed off though.”
“You had a right to be.”
He rubs his arm. “I shouldn’t have treated her like that. She was my mother, after all. It’s why I drew the rose and had Jay help me with the details. It’s my way of saying sorry. Of remembering her.”
“That’s very sweet of you.”
Once again, he shrugs.
“What about the skull?” I ask, resting my elbow on the table and my chin in my palm.
His grin is sly. “The death of innocence.”
My brows arch. “Deep.”
“More like demented.”
I shake my head. “You’re far from it.”
He meets my eyes. “I don’t always feel like it. What I did to my mother still gets to me. I’m moody, in case you haven’t noticed. I shut down easily and react without thinking sometimes. I’m not an easy person to like.”
“Maybe not,” I agree. I reach out and touch his hand. “But you’re an easy person to love. Even if you weren’t, I’d still do it.”
His lips part.
“Like you said, we’ll fight and make up. It’s what couples do. Nothing is easy about being with the person you’re meant for. We’re only human. Demented or not.” Though no matter what he believes, I’ll never think of him as that.
He doesn’t have to answer me.
I’ve learned from Ainsley that love is more than a spoken word.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Adjusting my curled red hair over my shoulders and fixing my cap, I smile at my reflection in the mirror and move off to the side while other graduates finish preparing themselves for commencement. I’m flattening out my white gown when I notice Carter standing by the back wall watching me.
I smile and wave, walking over to him in heels that Jenna made me wear with my new black dress Mom helped her pick out for me. He assesses me with nothing more than a friendly smile, bumping my arm with his. “Big day today. You look lovely.”
“Thanks.” I glance at the room of women behind me, all eagerly talking amongst themselves. “It seems like a long time coming.”
“You’ve gone far,” he comments. “I saw your family in the audience. Jesse saved me a seat next to him and Ren.”
My eyes widen. “They’re both here?”
He nods once, sliding his hands in his usual dress pants. “They’re right next to your parents and Ainsley. Though Ainsley was on somebody else’s lap.” His lips twitch upward in a knowing way. “Dark hair, tattoos, younger guy. He and Ainsley are out their making faces at each other.”
Easton. “I’m surprised she’s not sitting on Jesse’s lap. She’s got a huge crush on my brother. He totally feeds into it. He doesn’t think I know, but he brings her candy when he visits. It’s not often, but it’s their tradition.”
Carter laughs. “I’ll make sure to bring up their future nuptials to him when I take my seat. I just wanted to check in on you and say congratulations.”
I smile. “I appreciate it.”
“It’s him, right? The guy out there?”
“Yeah, that’s Easton.”
“He’s good with her.”
I rub my arm. “You’re really okay with how everything happened? I know you didn’t have to come, so I’m glad you did. And you defended me to my brother, which I really do appreciate. I know I didn’t say so when we saw each other after, but it meant a lot. And talking about Easton just seems…”
“A little weird?” he offers casually.
“Kind of.”
He shakes his head, seemingly not bothered at all about it. “I defended you because they had no right talking about you the way they were, and I’m supportive of this Easton guy because I can see he’s good to you and for you. There’s a light in your eyes that was lacking before, Piper. I’ll never be upset over that, even if I didn’t get the girl.”
“But you will.”
“One day,” he agrees.
“One day.”
He gestures toward the door. “I should head out. Your brother told me he’d give up my seat to the highest bidder if I didn’t come back at a reasonable time.”
“You must have gotten good seats if he thinks he can make money off them,” I muse. “You better go before Jesse does sell your seats. I’m picturing an auction. I wouldn’t put it past him. You should have seen what he did during my high school graduation.”
His brows arch. “What did he do?”
“He blew an airhorn and started howling when they called my name.” I laugh, brushing hair behind my ear. “It was embarrassing but it felt like the first time we were siblings. Then Danny joined in and I wanted to murder them.”
“Do you think he’ll cause a scene today?”
I doubt he will. I wasn’t even sure he and Ren would come, so I have no clue what to expect from them. Whatever it is, it’ll be interesting. Though, I wouldn’t mind if he were quiet. Just showing up means something to me.
When we say our goodbyes, we’re given a five-minute warning before lining up. I take a deep breath and smile to myself knowing I’m moments away from moving forward with my life.
Walking across stage once my name is called, I stop dead in my tracks when I hear my friends and family yell. But it’s not my older brother’s loud cheers or my father’s even louder clapping. It’s a high-p
itched scream that comes from the same section. There, perched on Easton’s shoulders, is Ainsley.
And. She. Cheers.
Tears instantly flood my face as I watch her scream and smile and clap, all while Easton holds onto her so she doesn’t fall. Both my parents watch me with proud expressions as I snap myself out of the shock and finish my walk.
Instead of going back to my seat, I run over to where my family sits. Ainsley wraps her arms around my neck, latching onto my body as soon as I’m in reach. I squeeze her to me like I can absorb the sound she made.
She doesn’t say another word.
And I’m okay with that.
She signs, I love you.
I kiss her cheek, her forehead, her hair, everywhere before whispering, “I love you too.”
Her eyes go from me to Easton, where she signs something that I can’t quite make out because of the angle I hold her.
But he does something I don’t expect.
He signs back.
He. Signs. Back.
It’s my father who wraps me in a hug when I finally make it back into the crowd of family and friends watching the graduating class. He kisses the side of my head and congratulates me, flicking my nose and calling me a brat. I beam at him over the name I haven’t heard him call me in forever.
“Proud of you,” he says against the top of my head, finally letting me go.
“Thanks, Dad.”
Jesse walks over to me and ruffles my hair like he used to when I was younger. Like old times, I swat his hand away as he draws me in for a quick hug. It’s a nice gesture, but awkward. We haven’t spoken since the incident on campus. I didn’t know what to say, and evidently neither did he. I’m used to it though, so I never let my mind ponder it.
Ren comes up to me and smiles. “I’m really happy for you, Piper. You’ve done so many amazing things and accomplished a lot despite the circumstances.” Her smile falters for a moment before she adds, “And I’m truly sorry for how I’ve acted. You didn’t deserve it.”
I glance between her and my brother, knowing everybody else is waiting for a response from me too. Carter stands off to the side, hands in his pockets, interested in what I’ll say. He’s asked me once since the tense conversation if I’ve reached out to either of them, but I admitted I couldn’t be the one to invest energy into building a relationship I wasn’t sure they wanted. Thankfully, he understood.