Ethan flicked a glance at Tabitha, and she saw an instant flash of compassion there, then hard resolve. He would never tell, not if he didn’t want to, no matter what.
“I’m sure Tabitha is well protected,” Ethan said casually. “Besides, do you have any evidence against Peter? Can you connect any of those homicides with physical evidence you can hand the DA? Got any witnesses? Do you have anything that points to him as a killer, other than his dream diary?”
“We have a partial on a shard of glass—”
“Not good enough, and you know it.”
She watched as Nate’s chest rose and fell. He stood, his fists curled at his sides. “You’re not going to help me out here, are you? You just wanted eyewitness verification you had the right guy.”
“I can see all that time you spent in detective school paid off.” With a click, he turned the TV off.
“Shove it up your ass, Ethan.” Turning to Tabitha, he cupped his hand under her elbow. “C’mon. I owe you a dinner.”
Tabitha looked at Ethan, assessing him, trying to figure out who he really was underneath all the bitterness and stoicism. There was a way, if she could pull it off. He was very smart; she’d have to catch him unawares to make it work because if he suspected, he’d shut down and she’d get nothing.
“All this is very upsetting,” she said, giving her voice a bit of a tremble. “I thought you two were going to hit each other. I…Give me a minute, would you Nate?”
She slumped into her chair and put her head in her hands as though she were dealing with a severe case of nerves. “Do you think I could have some water, Ethan?”
Though he said nothing, he rose and walked to the wet bar behind his desk, filled a tumbler, and brought it to where she sat. As he placed the glass on the table, she reached out and touched the back of his hand.
A woman…face down, floating in the bay. Her long hair swirls around her head like golden seaweed. He reaches for her, panic choking him. Inside his chest, his heart is bursting. No, no, no, no! He yells for help, but the water is tinged pink, and he smells the blood and death, and knows it’s too late…
Tabitha yanked her hand away. Ethan looked down at her, his hazel eyes confused at first, then they came into bright focus. He glanced at the back of his hand, then at her fingers.
“Very good,” he mumbled. “Aren’t you clever.”
She swallowed. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I didn’t understand…”
“What are you talking about?” Nate said, flashing a look between them.
Without answering, Ethan walked toward his desk and dropped into the chair. “I don’t care if you think I’m a bastard, Nate. I have to do this my way.”
Nate’s eyes flared with anger. Stalking to the door, he yanked it open and stepped into the threshold.
“Things were bad between us before, Ethan,” he growled. “You’ve just made them a hell of a lot worse.”
As Tabitha followed Nate out the door, behind her she heard Ethan murmur under his breath, “Yeah. I know.”
Chapter 20
If you dream of attending a wedding, you will soon attend a funeral.
FOLKLORE
“You wouldn’t really arrest your brother, would you?”
As they drove out of the darkened parking lot beneath Paladin’s Embarcadero offices, Nate risked a glance at Tabby. Concern shone in her beautiful eyes, misguided distress for a man who didn’t deserve it.
Which man’s soul was she worried about, he wondered—his brother’s, or his?
“No,” he said finally. “I wouldn’t arrest him, but I might beat the shit out of him.”
“Hmm,” she mused. “He might give you some trouble. He looks capable of holding his own.”
“So we beat the shit out of each other,” he growled. “I’m up for it.”
Downshifting, he turned at the corner and headed up the hill toward his apartment. “Besides, even if I did arrest him, he’d be out on bail in fifteen minutes and I still wouldn’t have any answers.”
He gripped the steering wheel, letting his fingers curl around the unyielding leather, imagining it was his brother’s neck.
“Nate,” Tabitha said softly. “I saw the photograph on Ethan’s desk. There was no mistaking it was the two of you as boys, holding Andie when she was a baby. Don’t you find that…interesting?”
He shrugged. “No.”
“Oh, don’t pretend it didn’t surprise you, and that you didn’t wonder about it. Want to know what I think?”
“Not really.”
“Good.” She smiled over at him, her pretty lips curved in gentle sympathy. “I think he loves you. I think he misses you. You’re his only brother. A man his age doesn’t keep a photograph of his brother and baby sister on his desk like that for no reason. It’s his only connection to you.”
“Ethan loves me,” he scoffed. “Well, he sure has a warped way of showing it.”
“Yes, he does, but maybe it’s the only way he knows. Give him time, Nate,” Tabitha urged. “He’ll find a way to show you how he feels. Just give him some time.”
Neither agreeing or disagreeing, he simply grunted.
“What happened back there, when you touched him? Did you see something?”
Tabby’s brows shot up and her lips parted. A heartbeat later, she sent him a sarcastic look. “I thought you didn’t believe in all that psychic voodoo hocus-pocus—”
“Did you see something or not?”
“Give me a minute,” she said silkily. “I need to compose an adult response to your question, but first I have to overcome my initial urge to gloat in triumph.”
“Gloat away, baby. Just don’t take too long. This is a limited-time offer.” He scowled over at her, letting her know he meant business.
After a moment, she looked down at her hands folded neatly across her lap. “I did see something.”
“Tell me.”
“I really can’t.” She shook her head, sending her gold dangle earrings swinging. “It’s not my story to tell. Why don’t you ask Ethan? A little open communication between you would—”
“Yeah, right.” Nate blew out a long, weary sigh. “Okay, how about you just tell me whether what you think you saw has anything to do with this case.”
She considered that for a moment. “Only indirectly. Only insofar as it affects his personal code of ethics, which, from what I can tell, are insanely high and completely unyielding.”
“No kidding.”
Nibbling on her bottom lip, she said, “I can tell you this, but only because I think the two of you need to mend those fences you were talking about…”
“Like that will happen.”
“If you’ll stop complaining and make an effort, Nate,” she said, exasperation sharpening her words. “You’re just as stubborn as your brother. One of you is going to have to give a little, don’t you think?”
When he didn’t respond, she said, “Touching him, well, it wasn’t what I’d expected, and it surprised me, but I think I understand him better now. What I saw was the reason he left the SFPD when he did, and what drove him to start Paladin.”
“What drove him? I thought he was just tired of bad coffee, bad hours, and shit for pay.”
“No, that’s why you would quit. I think Ethan loved his job, but I suggest you ask him about it. Ask him about…Cathy.”
“Who in the hell is Cathy?”
“Ask him, Nate. He might just tell you.”
Nate snorted. Uh-huh. If he and his brother had any chance of repairing their fractured relationship, Ethan’s refusal to reveal his client’s name pretty much put an end to it. As far as Nate was concerned, Ethan was every bit the coldhearted SOB he’d always been, maybe worse, because Ethan knew Tabby was named in the diary, and unless he was completely stupid, he also knew she was important to Nate. Ethan’s silence could be putting her at risk, and that was something Nate was going to have a very hard time reconciling.
A few blocks before they reached Nate�
�s apartment, the dark, heavy sky opened up, so by the time he parked the Accord on a secluded side street, it was raining buckets.
Setting the e-brake, he said, “I need to change, then we’ll go out for that dinner I promised you.”
Next to him, Tabby was shrouded in shadows. Fat raindrops assailed the roof and struck at the windows, making it sound like he’d parked under a rushing mountain waterfall.
“You know what?” Tabby said softly, snuggling down in her seat. “I’m not really hungry, but…there’s something about the inside of a car at night during a rainstorm…“ She looked over at him. “It just does something to me, you know?”
His mouth went dry.
Reaching to her right, she pulled the handle, and her seat slowly reclined. She unfastened her safety restraints and stretched her arms above her head, lengthening her body, giving him a good look of what she had to offer. Sleepily turning her head toward him, she murmured, “Lock the doors.” Then, sliding her hands up her rib cage, she lifted her sweater, cupping her breasts. With her thumbs, she circled her nipples through the silky fabric of her bra. “Come here.”
He didn’t need to be asked twice, not when she made a soft little come-hither groan as she proceeded to unhook her bra and push it out of the way.
Suddenly he was so hard he could barely breathe. He practically snapped a femur leaping over the gearshift. With a little concentration, a few giggles, and a lot of hard work, they switched places, putting him on the bottom. She straddled him, her skirt hiked up to her thighs, her bare breasts inches from his hungry mouth.
She made a little cry in the back of her throat when he kissed her, thrusting his tongue deep, taking complete possession of her. His thumbs grazed her nipples, and she wiggled her hips against him, as eager as he was to get on with it.
“I’ve always wanted to do it in the car in the rain,” she whispered against his open mouth.
“Happy to comply,” he growled, then eased her higher on his body to take a taut nipple into his mouth.
“Oh, God,” she breathed. “Oh, yes, oh, God, oh yes…please…”
Fumbling like a horny teenager, he managed to get his pants open. Thank God she was wearing that skirt.
“Do you have any condoms left?” she breathed as she moved against him, rubbing hard against his crotch, easing her hand under the waistband of his shorts. She pulled him out and placed the tip against her damp, heated flesh.
“Back pocket,” he said. “Lift up a little.”
She did and with one hand on her breast and the other sliding under his own butt, he reached into his pocket and pulled out the small packet.
Unbuttoning his shirt, she rubbed her nipples over his chest, and he choked, trying to get his arms around her to open the foil packet.
Finally, it opened.
“Shit.”
“What’s the matter?” She was panting, sliding her body over his, driving him crazy with lust.
“It’s not a condom,” he breathed heavily. “It’s an Alka-Seltzer tablet. I guess I got the wrong packet.”
She kissed him then, her open mouth over his, her tongue tangling with his, her laughter mingling with his.
“Guess you’d better go back for seconds,” she chuckled, then kissed him again.
As she drove him higher and higher with her passion, he lifted his hips and shoved his hand into his pocket again. Ah, there. Yanking it out, he tore it open.
“Fuck.” He groaned in frustration.
“More Alka-Seltzer?” she snickered.
“Vitamins.”
She pressed her body down on his and wiggled. “If you don’t have a condom, I guess we can use one of those packets.”
“I’m going in again,” he warned. “If I’m not back in five minutes, call for backup.”
“Yes, Inspector,” she cooed.
With a thrust of his hips, he lifted them both while he jammed his hand into his back pocket, found the damn packet, and tore it open.
“Ease back, baby,” he growled. “If I don’t get this thing on now, I’m going to come all over you.”
Quickly sheathing himself, he tugged the crotch of her panties aside, slid his finger along her wet flesh until she choked his name, then impaled her. She gave a soft, high-pitched cry, arching over him so he could suckle and tongue her nipple.
“Oh, God…Nate…oh, Nate…yes…”
Her back arched and he thrust into her again, barely able to hang on. He hoped to hell she was close, because he didn’t think he could last long.
With the rain pounding the roof in a wild, savage beat, his head spun, and the only thing he could feel was where his body met hers.
His universe collapsed down into this small dark space where the cold rain hammered out a hot rhythm and the night air was vanquished by the warmth of the woman in his arms.
In all his life, nothing had ever felt so perfect, so complete. Nothing.
Tabby found her release, sighing a high sound that electrified him to the core. Burying his face against her neck, he thrust again, and again, his climax harder than he would have believed possible.
A moment passed, an hour, a lifetime. Finally, she moved, resting her head on his shoulder, lightly fingering strands of his damp hair.
“I don’t know why,” she said, swallowing, her breathing still unsteady, “but this reminds me of something out of Dr. Seuss, the one about green eggs and ham.”
He chuckled. “Would you do it in a car?”
She giggled. “I would do it in a car.”
“Would you do it in a bar?”
“I would do it in a bar.”
“Would you do it here or there?”
She purred, “I would do it anywhere.”
“Would you do it on a boat, by a moat, with a goat?”
“Ewwww!”
“Sorry,” he snorted. “It rhymed.” Lifting his head, he kissed her, a long kiss, a slow kiss, a thank-you kiss. Inching back a bit, he looked into her eyes. “Would you do it…tenderly?”
She ran her finger along his bottom lip. “As long as it’s you making love to me. I would do it, yes, it’s true—”
“I love you.”
Her breath caught. Pellets of rain bit the windshield like tiny rocks tossed against the glass. Even in the watery shadows, he could see her eyes searching his.
Okay, it had been abrupt, unplanned, all of it. She didn’t have to say it back. He was an adult. She didn’t have to say it back. Really. She didn’t. Have to say it back.
She lowered her lashes and set her jaw. Suddenly the silence had lasted too long. He took a deep breath, flicked the locks, and opened the door. Easing himself out from under her, he stepped onto the street, then quickly closed the door.
By the time he reached the driver’s side and slid behind the wheel, his clothing was back in order.
Cranking the ignition, he said nothing as he released the e-brake and headed down the street.
“Nate,” she said, but he ignored her. She’d repaired her own clothing and brought the seat back up. “Nate, please listen.”
“Later,” he said, too casually. “I just remembered I have early shift tomorrow. Let’s take a rain check on that dinner.” Since it was conveniently pouring outside, the metaphor worked. “Oh, and your sweet peas are in the back seat. Little wilted. I can toss ’em if you like.”
Without a word, she turned and grabbed the sorry bouquet, now dry and limp from lack of water for days.
He pulled up in front of her house. She stepped out of the car and closed the door behind her. When she reached the porch steps, she turned to face him.
Behind a curtain of rain, standing in the circle of the porch light, holding the dead flowers to her chest the way a woman would cradle a baby, she looked lost, vulnerable.
He knew he should do something about it, but he couldn’t. Not after what had just happened.
She lifted her hand and gave him a weak smile and a wave, yet he did nothing but shift hard into gear and pull away fro
m the curb.
The interior of his car still smelled like sex, so he rolled all the windows down. Rain splashed inside, wetting the upholstery. Cold air slapped his face, but he deserved the punishment. Maybe enough fresh air would obliterate the stupidity of what he’d done.
He adjusted his glasses, wiping bits of spray from the lenses with his thumb. When would he learn to think before he said something as explosive as I love you?
And he did…love her. The thought of losing her scared him.
But not losing her absolutely terrified him.
He didn’t know how to be a married man, a man with a wife and family. What if he screwed it all up? What if she got tired of him or was bored by him? What if…damn, a million things.
He hadn’t even been able to properly pull off telling her he loved her. He’d blurted it out in a car after having sex. Boy, that probably really impressed her. She deserved roses and a candlelight dinner, and all the free-range fricassee she could handle.
And a ring. Shit. How could he have been so stupid? He’d caught an episode or two of Oprah; he knew women needed all that romantic stuff that went with a declaration of love. And now he’d ruined it for her.
Not to mention she obviously didn’t love him in return. Her eyes had widened and she’d stared at him like he’d just admitted to stealing candy from babies instead of making a confession of love.
If she’d blurted it right back, maybe it would have been okay, but she hadn’t, which meant she didn’t, and now he’d gone and ruined everything by not taking his time and doing it right.
He needed to think about this, about how to fix this, if he could. He’d never told a woman he loved her before, not even Lorna. This was un-charted territory and it left him feeling a little queasy.
Had he lost her now? Had his unbridled idiocy put her off and out of reach? Damn, love sucked.
What he really wanted to do was punch something, but instead he blew out a harsh breath and decided to move past the incident for now. He’d turn his attention to the case, to finding out who his brother’s client was. Familiar territory. Work. That he knew how to handle.
Arousing Suspicions Page 20