by Darcy, Diane
Why had he brought her here?
That was a question she was going to have to insist that he answer.
Chapter 23
THE TWELFTH DAY OF CHRISTMAS
Epiphany Eve
“You there,” a teenage boy waved an imperious hand at Madison. “I’ll have another drink!”
Twelfth Night had started off with a cake, brought out by Cook and her helpers, and served to everyone. Whoever found the dried bean baked inside, got to be Lord or Lady Misrule for the evening.
One of the stable boys won the prize, and was making the most of his title.
Amusement had Madison’s mouth curving, and she quickly fetched him another drink. She made a production of it by placing his drink on a tray by itself, and presenting it to him with a flourish. “Your drink, my lord.”
His friends laughed as he downed the ale.
There was always a crowd for every feast, but there seemed to be more people than usual tonight. The one person she was looking for, Father Cuthbert, had yet to put in an appearance.
The servants and villagers were seated, and tonight, they were to be served by the rich.
As she’d been one of them during her stay, it was time to pay the piper.
Madison was back to waitressing, and she was trying to have fun with it. The problem was, she was having a hard time keeping her eyes off Thomas.
To be fair, he seemed to be having the same problem with her, and every time their gazes clashed, the ache in her heart was a reminder that this was the last time she’d ever see him.
This really was it. It wasn’t like she’d be able to keep track of him, wait for his divorce, and then ask him to lunch when his disastrous marriage imploded.
Weary of her mind spinning, she tried to distract herself.
Lady Phillipa was pouring drinks and laughing heartily one table over, and Lady Vera and Lady Ormonde were handing out platters of food, and everyone seemed to be having a good time.
There were games being played, an egg toss competition was causing a lot of laughter, and a circle of children were playing Bee in the Middle, and a little blonde wearing a mask tried to sting the others with her fingers.
The musicians were loud tonight, as if determined that everyone would have a good time, and a bagpipe had been added to the mix.
On the far side of a table, a tray was set ablaze with alcohol, and teenagers took turns grabbing raisins from the flames.
When she passed by, they tried to get her to take a turn. “No, thank you,” she said hastily, her fingers having been burnt enough by her stay here. “I have drinks to deliver.”
She remembered what it was like to be that age, and had played plenty of games that seemed stupid in retrospect. At the time, she’d thought them hilarious.
It looked like some things never changed.
Apparently, it was also a night for trickery. Someone had put a live bird in an empty pie casing, and when the pie was cut into, the bird flew out and around the hall before landing in the rafters. The laughter had been loud and raucous.
That was something she’d never seen before.
And, of course, now she couldn’t get Sing a Song of Sixpence out of her head.
She wondered when it had been written, but refrained from ruining it for future generations.
She was going home tonight, and it was the last time she would see any of these people.
Between pains of nostalgia, and the fact that every time she caught sight of Thomas, she felt her heart rip a bit more, she wasn’t having as much fun as everyone else.
She smiled, put her tray down, and picked up a jug of wine. Fake it ’til you make it.
She poured some drinks and rescued one of the centerpieces about to fall off a table. Earlier, one of the musicians had told her the decorations would need to come down in the morning. If they didn’t release the tree-spirits into the countryside, spring would not return.
Also, the tree-spirits would cause mischief until they were freed.
Hilarious.
She really was going to miss this place.
She found her gaze drifting to the door, more and more often, as the evening wore on.
Where was Father Cuthbert?
He would come, wouldn’t he?
He’d promised.
She had no desire to be stuck here watching Thomas and Juliana marry, have a family, and live happily ever after.
She glanced up to see Thomas coming down the aisle toward her, but he was stopped by someone, and she quickly grabbed another tray and made her way to the kitchen.
There was nothing more to say. He’d said it all yesterday.
When she returned with mince pies, Father Benedict was giving a dramatic rendition of St. Simeon Stylites, the Elder.
The man had lived for thirty-seven years, on a small platform, atop a pillar.
It sounded like he took everything to the extreme, clothing, food, and apparently, his living space.
No, thank you.
Thomas was now on the other side of the room, and it bothered her that no matter where he was, she honed in on him, like he was a beacon.
Her beacon.
Her heart constricted. He really was the one man she would never be able to forget.
She was smiling so much that her face hurt, and even as she tried to hold back tears, the throbbing in her chest worsened, and she ached with grief.
As far as she could tell, Thomas and Juliana had barely exchanged a word.
That hurt. He was giving her up for the dullest relationship in any century.
As she set mince pies on three different tables, her lips trembled.
Father Cuthbert had said Thomas was her soulmate.
She loved him.
He was awesome. He was hardworking, caring, challenging, honorable.
Maybe a little too honorable? She hadn’t thought so yesterday, but today was another story.
Today she was leaving.
He was exactly what she needed, and the kind of man she’d thought she’d never find.
Adults talked these things out, figured out their lives, and didn’t sweep things under the carpet.
She was a mess, on the verge of tears one moment, and ready to blow the next.
She just needed to get out of there.
“Oh, ho!” There was a commotion by the door and she glanced up to see Father Cuthbert coming inside, and Father Benedict, arms open, giving him a hearty greeting.
Relief, powerful and strong, rushed through her.
Her chin trembled as she set her tray down, made her way over to him, and waited for Father Benedict to finish gushing.
He gestured to Madison. “And here she is, your ward, safe, happy, and one of our servants for the Feast of Fools! If you ask her to get you a drink, I am sure she will oblige.”
The two priests smiled at her.
“Ah, Lady Madison, how good it is to see you,” Father Cuthbert looked just as jolly and happy as the day he’d deserted her.
That seemed long ago, and far away.
He smiled indulgently, and she grabbed his arm and pulled him off to the side.
“Have you claimed him? Are you to live happily ever after?” He chuckled, inviting her to join in.
She was not amused.
“I need you to get me out of here. No, I have not claimed Thomas. He is planning to marry another woman, and I don’t want to be here anymore.”
Tears filled her eyes, but she fought to hold it together.
Father Cuthbert was quick to lead her out of the hall, and to some privacy around the corner. He looked shocked. “What is this? Why must you girls make this so difficult? First it was Gillian, Samantha, and Cara. I thought if I arranged it myself this time, events might go forward in a straight and tranquil manner.”
She snorted.
His mouth set in a straight line. “I’ve given up my jewelry, brought you here, and you are supposed to find happiness. Why must this always be so difficult?”
Madiso
n sniffed. “Who are Gillian, Samantha, and Cara?”
“Only the girls who have my ring, crown, and necklace!” He sounded outraged by that fact.
“You said you’d done this before. Didn’t it work out for them?”
“Of course, it did.” He glanced at her face and his expression softened.
“And it didn’t for me?” She was half indignant, and half tearful.
“There, there, my dear,” he said, eyes wide as he gazed at her. “We will figure this out. You are not to worry.”
“Figure out that I’m the only girl this didn’t work for?” Her words ended on a sob.
“I just want to go home,” she said, and burst into tears.
* * *
Madison was avoiding him.
He gritted his teeth as one of his guards, deep in his cups, stopped him. “Have you tried the wine? Let one of the ladies get you a cup,” he said with a laugh.
Thomas finally got away from the man, but Madison had disappeared.
It was probably for the best, only it didn’t feel that way.
His grandmother was the next one to stop him, and as he tried to excuse himself, she insisted that he come with her.
He reluctantly followed.
Jewelry tinkling, she didn’t stop, until she was by the Christmas tree, which offered a little privacy.
And made his heart ache.
“What is the matter, Thomas? You are like a wolf with a sore tooth.”
His jaw hardened. He thought to fob her off with excuses, to tell her she was imagining things, but decided it didn’t matter anymore.
It felt like nothing mattered.
Madison was leaving, and irritation at this party, the people in it, and his life, made his head ache with tension.
“I am in love with Lady Madison.” The words were stark, and filled with regret.
Regrets for the life he could not have.
Though he wasn’t looking straight at her, he could see his grandmother staring at him.
He waited for her condemnation, and when she said, “Well, then, we must find someone for Juliana to marry,” he almost did not take her meaning.
For a moment he felt hope rise within him, and then he looked at the tree once more, with its perky bows, and colorful decorations, and he shook his head.
He would not take everything that was bright and beautiful about Madison, and snuff it out.
“I cannot marry her, as her hips are too slim. She’d never survive childbirth.”
After a shocked silence, Lady Phillipa’s mouth dropped open. “What?”
“She would die trying to birth a child, just like my mother did.”
His grandmother’s brows knit with worry. “What are you talking about? Big hips, small hips, women can usually give birth without problem. Your mother bled out. It had nothing to do with the size of her hips. She’d already given birth to one child, had she not?”
After a pause she said, “Husbands die, too. There are no guarantees.”
Thomas was gaping at her. He had always had it in his head that he needed to marry a big strapping woman if he wanted her to survive.
“Madison seems very strong and capable. I’ve no doubt she would be able to give you many children.”
“But —”
“You know, Juliana could die just as easily as Madison. Or either one of them could live very long lives. You just have to act in faith like the rest of us.” She placed a hand on his arm, her bracelets sliding up and clanging together. “There is no such thing as a perfect wife, Thomas. If you are lucky, you will find someone who is perfect for you.”
His control over his emotions slipped. Someone perfect for him?
That would be Madison, with her big heart, loud laugh, and her drive to accomplish anything she set her mind to.
He had no doubt, that of all the women on the earth, she was for him.
He loved her with all of his heart.
Nothing mattered to him as much as Madison.
“Juliana?” He said, warring with his honor. “I’ve led her to expect much from me.”
Lady Philippa sighed. “We will have to think on that.”
No matter how he looked at it, his honor was stained by the situation. Somehow, he would fix it. What mattered now was Madison.
The cold pressure of fear ran down his spine. He’d hurt her yesterday, and she’d avoided him ever since.
Somehow, he would make it up to her, and win her heart again.
What could he tempt her with?
He was rich, strong, he was not old or disabled or diseased.
He had land, and could care for any children that came to them.
Where before he’d pictured death, he suddenly saw her surrounded by life.
He glanced around, did not see Madison, and wondered if she had gone to the kitchen yet again.
His heart was racing at the thought of having her for his wife.
He glanced at Juliana, seated on a bench near the fireplace, and realized he could not wait.
He needed to talk to her, and assure her that he would find her a husband, or even take care of her himself if needs be.
But she had to release him.
Without so much as a by-your-leave, he left his grandmother and approached Juliana. “Lady Juliana, might I have the pleasure of your company?”
Her eyes widened, and her mouth parted, and she glanced at Sir Hugh who sat across from her, and then stammered an agreement.
She awkwardly rose from the bench, and took the arm that he offered.
His grandmother, giving up on serving, had taken a seat with her friends, and Thomas led Juliana to the Christmas tree.
When they reached it, he stopped and faced her.
“We need to talk.”
* * *
Father Cuthbert talked Madison into going back inside, and though she felt like her heart was breaking, she couldn’t leave without seeing Thomas at least one more time.
She couldn’t leave without saying goodbye.
She went inside to see Lady Juliana clinging to his arm.
She was instantly thrown from misery to anger and a surge of outrage overwhelmed her.
She looked at Father Cuthbert, her tormentor. “Do you see that? Do you see what I’ve had to put up with since you dumped me here?”
Father Cuthbert followed her gaze, his expression going slack. “This is not right,” he said. “I do not understand.”
“What’s to understand?” she hissed. “You got it wrong, and you need to be man enough to admit it.”
Her words were strong, but then she teared up again, and couldn’t take her gaze away from the two lovebirds as a chill of dread tightened her throat. They’d stopped by the tree to have a sweet, adorable, little chat. By her tree, blast it!
Too bad they didn’t have cameras, because it looked like a perfect photo opportunity. She wiped her face and her chin lifted as she tried to keep fresh tears at bay. “Let’s go.”
He stopped her with a hand on her shoulder. “You will not change your mind?”
Her face twisted as she looked at him. “Are you going to honor your promise or not?”
“Of course, I will,” he said, but didn’t look happy about it.
She wanted to get out of there before anyone noticed she was missing. Before she broke down. She just wanted to go home.
Father Cuthbert was complaining that they’d have to drive in the dark, and something about her earrings, and she’d almost cleared the door when she heard someone call out, “Sir Thomas! I must challenge your claim!”
She stopped and turned back, and Father Cuthbert stopped beside her.
Sir Hugh made his way through the crowd that was slowly quieting as they realized something was happening.
“I love Lady Juliana, and she loves me too!” He shouted out as he tried to move around several people in his way.
He made a frustrated noise and grabbed one man around the shoulders and set him aside.
“Everyone ne
eds to stop blocking our way!” He said, his voice ringing, as everyone looked in his direction.
The bird in the rafters flew around for a bit, and then resettled, and everyone waited to see what Sir Hugh would say next.
Madison was all ears. Her heart was pounding as her gaze moved to where Thomas and Juliana stood.
They both looked shocked.
Would Juliana give up Thomas?
And if she did, would Madison want a man who hadn’t fought for her? Who had chosen another?
“Stop!” Lady Felicia stood, and attention was drawn to her.
“No, Felicia, sit down,” Lady Philippa said just as loudly.
Lady Felicia looked at her daughter, at Sir Hugh, and then at Lady Philippa and she subsided, sinking back down on the bench.
Madison could barely breathe.
Thomas spotted Madison in the doorway, and he looked at her like … like it was Christmas morning.
Now she really couldn’t breathe, the blood racing in her veins as she tried to decipher his expression.
Lady Juliana broke away from Thomas and met Sir Hugh halfway, and he wrapped her in his arms and dragged her a few feet until they were standing under the mistletoe.
“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” Their audience was quick to demand.
Sir Hugh smiled down at Juliana, and then pressed his lips to hers in a nice, long kiss.
As people laughed, Madison met Thomas’s gaze across the room, once again.
They started walking toward each other, and when they met, she threw her arms around him, and he lifted her and twirled her around before setting her on the ground.
“Madison,” was all he said, before he kissed her. Apparently, he did not want to be outdone by the other man, because he kissed her as if he meant it, his mouth clinging to hers, settling in with ravening intensity.
He finally broke off the kiss and cupped her face in his hands, his breathing unsteady, his eyes darkening. “I love you. I love you so much. You are my heart, and I knew it the moment I saw you.”
She was breathless, aflutter, her heart and lungs battling to resume a natural rhythm.
He drew in a breath, “I was trying to tell Juliana just that, when Sir Hugh interrupted me with the best of news.”