by Susan Illene
“Yeah.” He hesitated, not quite meeting her eyes. “She wants me to move in with her and do the whole committed relationship thing.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I said I’d think about it.” Conrad’s expression turned miserable. “I’m supposed to give her an answer when I get back.”
Bailey drew in a breath. “Do you have any idea what you’re going to say?”
Aidan hated to see the pain in her eyes. He might be jealous of Conrad’s relationship with Bailey, but he was beginning to see they’d formed a strong bond that had nothing to do with romance or intimacy. They had become good friends, and she didn’t want to lose him.
“I don’t know what to do. She said she doesn’t want to have anything more to do with me if I don’t choose her,” Conrad said, shoulders slumping. “And…I sort of love her.”
Bailey was quiet a moment. “If you choose her, it’s okay. I wouldn’t hold anyone back from being with the person they love.”
If only she would do the same favor for me, Aidan thought.
“I promise I’ll let you know after I decide,” Conrad said, rubbing his head. “I just can’t make that decision until this is over.”
Bailey nodded. “That’s fine.”
Conrad looked down at his stone. It had turned clear. He lifted it up and gave them all a half-hearted smile. “Guess that’s one down.”
“Why don’t you go next, brother?” Phoebe gave him a sly look. “I know I would love to find out exactly what is going on with you and Bailey. Maybe we could take care of both your stones if you talk it out.”
Danae nodded. “I know I’ve been trying to get Bailey to tell me what’s going on for a while now. Maybe this test isn’t so bad after all.”
“She hasn’t told you, either?” Phoebe asked, surprised.
“Nope. Changes the subject every time.” Danae shot a disgruntled look at Bailey, who ducked her head.
“Someone is putting off their own revelation.” Aidan glared at his sister.
Phoebe’s lips thinned. “Don’t act like you don’t already have a question picked out for me.”
In fact, he did. Aidan wanted to find out who Phoebe’s lover had been in the Faegud toriq. She’d always been evasive about it, and this was his chance to make her confess. If only he didn’t have to make his own revelation in the process.
“Very well.” Aidan ground his jaw. “If I must…”
“We slept together once,” Bailey interrupted, a blush creeping across her cheek.
Conrad snapped his fingers. “I knew it.”
“Damn.” Danae’s eyes widened. “I hadn’t guessed it went that far.”
Phoebe’s jaw hung open as she looked at Aidan. “Are you out of your mind? It’s one thing to feel attraction for somebody who is forbidden—I understand that, really—but do you have any idea what will happen if members of our toriq find out?”
“Which is why I did not wish to speak of it.” Aidan narrowed his eyes. “It is between me and the slayer, no one else.”
“And it’s not going to happen again,” Bailey said, lifting her chin.
“That’s what they all say.” Conrad shook his head. “But the tension between you two tells me it ain’t over yet.”
“Yes, it is,” she insisted.
“Why?” Aidan asked.
“You can’t be serious, brother.” Phoebe gestured at the slayer. “Even Bailey is smart enough to see it’s wrong.”
Aidan locked his gaze on Bailey. “Why? That is what I wish to know.”
“I’m going to return to my family. It doesn’t make sense to start something with you,” she said, unflinching.
He didn’t believe her. “I’m tired of that excuse and we’ve already discussed it. Try again.”
She clenched her fists in her lap. “Why do you keep pushing this? You were the one who fought against it before.”
The moment of truth had come. If he expected her to explain herself, he had to do the same—no matter the cost or the audience. Aidan drew deep from his well of courage, praying he did not come to regret telling her his feelings. For shifters, saying certain words aloud to another person meant a lifetime commitment. He would not be able to take them back later.
Aidan reached over and took her hand. “Because I love you, Bailey. You are a strong and incredible woman who has continued to amaze me every day since we met. I can’t let you go without fighting for you and all we could become.”
She stared at him, speechless. Aidan didn’t look away or show any sign of shame or discomfort. He’d said it and meant it. She needed to know that.
“Dear Zorya, brother,” Phoebe gasped. “What have you done?”
Danae knitted her brows. “It’s shocking but not that shocking. What’s the big deal?”
“By saying he loves her, he’s forsaken ever being with another woman.”
“Holy shit,” Conrad said, then narrowed his eyes. “But I gotta ask. If you love her so much, why did you let her get locked up in that dungeon and let her get her mind probed?”
Aidan was still watching Bailey and the mixed emotions running across her face. She kept opening her mouth, only to close it again. He supposed he had just dropped a rather heavy load on her. It hadn’t been his intention to do so, but the rules of the test had required it. There weren’t many big secrets he hid from this group that could count for much. Bailey needed another moment by the looks of things. He’d give that much to her and hope she worked her feelings out in her head.
“The alternative would have been worse.” Aidan turned his attention to Conrad. “No pendragon in recent memory has ever agreed to speak with a slayer, much less allowed one into their fortress. The only way Bailey could possibly earn his trust was to submit to every demand he made.”
Conrad’s lips thinned. “What if he’d decided to kill her?”
“I never would have allowed that to happen.”
Phoebe leaned forward. “What is that supposed to mean?”
It appeared Aidan must give up another secret. “That I would protect Bailey with my life—if need be.”
“Even if it meant you had to kill one or more of our people—maybe even Nanoq?” she asked, expression turning livid.
“I would have tried to avoid it, but if necessary…”
“No.” Phoebe shook her head. “Your relationship with the slayer can’t have gone that far. I refuse to believe you would kill one of your own people to protect her.”
“Yes, he would,” Bailey said, speaking up for Aidan. If those were to be her first words after his big confession, they could have been worse. He only wished she’d tell him how she truly felt.
Phoebe threw her hands up. “I can’t believe I’m hearing this!”
Aidan turned his gaze to her. “If you ever truly fall in love with someone and they become your world, you will understand.”
“What makes you think I haven’t ever loved anyone?” his sister retorted.
He lifted a brow. “Have you?”
Sparks practically flew out of her eyes. “Yes—and I still love that person even if I haven’t said it aloud to them yet.”
“And who might that be?”
“It’s not my turn yet. Bailey still needs to answer your question.” She nodded toward the slayer.
“I don’t…I can’t…” Bailey stuttered, looking around as if searching for an escape.
Aidan had never seen her so flummoxed before. Up to this point, he hadn’t tried to fully move from his position where Savion put him, but he did now. Aidan crouched in front of her and met her gaze. “No matter what your answer is, you can tell me.”
“Aidan, I…” She paused and licked her lips. “This isn’t easy.”
He grazed a finger across her jaw, ignoring his sister’s cursing behind him. “Be brave, little slayer. The sooner you tell me, the sooner we can work this issue of yours out.”
She closed her eyes. “You don’t understand how…”
“No, open th
em and look at me,” he commanded.
Her lids flew open. “I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.” He smiled.
Bailey drew in a deep breath. “This is exactly what’s bothering me. It’s like whatever is between us is so powerful that I get lost whenever we’re close. I forget to breathe, and I don’t care about anything else—my family, friends…nothing. It’s too dangerous. We both have responsibilities to other people, and if we’re not careful we’re going to forget that.”
“At least she has some common sense,” Phoebe muttered.
“You got that right,” Conrad agreed.
“Bailey, you and I can work this out. If we are patient and we take this one step at a time, I am certain we will find a way so that no one gets hurt,” Aidan said, pretending he hadn’t heard the others. “Did you not learn to control your instincts against dragons?”
“Well, yeah, but that’s different.”
“No.” He shook his head. “That was the most difficult thing you could have possibly done.”
“It’s never going to work.” Bailey tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “You can’t tell me anyone is going to accept us as a couple. Even Phoebe and Conrad are over there agreeing with what I’m saying, and if anyone should support us, it should be them.”
Aidan shot a look at the two people in question. They didn’t appear the slightest bit repentant. “If they wanted us to be happy, they would stand by our sides.”
“It’s impossible, Aidan,” she said, shoulders drooping. “You never should have made your confession if it means what Phoebe says it does.”
Her expression was so forlorn he wanted to kiss the unhappiness from her features. “Then let us take it one day at a time.”
“That’s like saying you’re only going to eat one cookie out of the box even though you know it’s a lie.” Bailey’s lips twisted into a sad smile.
Aidan sat back on his heels. He would do anything for this woman, even if it meant sacrificing his own happiness. “Tell me honestly that you do not want me to pursue you anymore, and I will not mention my feelings again.”
“Despite the fact you can’t have another woman now?” She lifted a brow.
It was all he could do not to pull her into his arms, kiss her senseless, and tell her that he would never let her go. This had to be her choice. No matter how painful to him, he couldn’t force the issue.
“If that is what you wish,” he said.
Bailey pursed her lips. “Will I still see you?”
“When it is necessary.” He didn’t think he could stand being near her beyond that.
She directed her attention to Conrad, studying him. What was she thinking? Was she considering how his own female had put him in a similar situation?
“I don’t know,” she finally said, returning her gaze to him.
Aidan took that hesitation as a good sign and cupped his hands over her cheeks, leaning close so that their noses almost touched. “One day at a time. That is all I ask. If it becomes too much, we will reconsider our relationship then.”
She blinked. “By that point, it could be too late.”
“Better to try than not.”
“And what about everyone else? What do we tell them?” She gestured at Phoebe. “Your sister is already upset about it.”
“This is between you and me. For now, there is no need to make a spectacle about it.” Aidan wasn’t ready to go that far. He could handle his people hating him, but he could not risk his toriq retaliating against Bailey. Even between the two of them, they couldn’t fight that many shifters.
“Can you keep it quiet?” Bailey asked Phoebe.
She shrugged. “I might not like it, but I wouldn’t do anything that could get my brother hurt.”
“Okay, then we’ll take it one day at a time—slowly,” Bailey said, lifting her chin and meeting Aidan’s gaze.
He felt as if a weight had lifted off his chest. He’d begun to believe he might not get through to her and that he would be doomed to loneliness forever.
Conrad sighed. “Why does love always have to get in the way?”
Bailey glared at him. “Don’t make me come over there.”
“Like you’re really going to do anything.”
Before Bailey could respond to Conrad, Aidan pulled her toward him and pressed his lips against hers. He kissed her gently until she relaxed in his grip, then he made it deeper. As their tongues glided against each other, he tried to impress every feeling and thought he had for her. He believed they belonged together, whether she’d fully accepted it yet or not. There were a lot of choices in life, but loving her wasn’t one of them. She was the first thought he had upon waking and the last before he slept. Never before had he imagined one female could fill his mind the way she did, but now he knew it was possible to find a woman who completed him. And with every brush of his lips, he tried to convey all of that.
Eventually, loud coughing broke his concentration, and he reluctantly let Bailey go. A glaze covered her eyes that pleased him. She’d been every bit as caught up in that kiss as him.
“I guess the only question that remains is whether you love Aidan as much as he loves you,” Conrad said, throat raw from his false coughing. “Because he’s got me convinced he’s revealed all he’s got to say and his stone is clear.”
Aidan glanced down at his palm and realized Conrad was right. The stone wasn’t red anymore, but Bailey’s hadn’t changed yet.
She peered up through the fall of her hair, tangled from him gripping it during their kiss. “Of course, I love you. That’s what makes this scary, and why I’ve been fighting it so hard.”
He wanted to kiss her again, but he’d have to save that for another time. They’d already given the others enough of a show. Instead, Aidan caressed her cheek. “Perhaps I need to teach you how to slay your fears next.”
She rolled her eyes.
Conrad started to laugh. “That’s the cheesiest shit I ever heard.”
Bailey started to lunge at him, but Aidan grabbed her before she got far. “Let him have his fun. He is only jealous because we’ve made our decision.”
Conrad’s mouth shut, and his expression hardened. Aidan ignored his penetrating stare to check Bailey’s stone. It was clear. She’d said all she needed to say.
Deciding to save his sister for last, Aidan gestured at Danae. “What confession do you have to make?”
“Me?” Her eyes widened with false innocence. “I’m an open book.”
Bailey snorted. “I think we’d all love to know what the deal is with you and Miles.”
Danae averted her gaze. “I don’t think it’s fair to talk about that without him here to tell his side.”
“You gonna let us sit in this cave for eternity instead?” Conrad asked.
She tossed some of her blond hair over her shoulder. “Okay, fine, but let’s make a deal that whatever we say in this place does not get repeated without permission first.”
“Agreed.” Aidan could go along with that plan wholeheartedly.
The others mumbled their assent.
Danae fiddled with her nails. “The thing you guys don’t know is that…Miles and I dated before. Um, a few years ago.”
“What?” Bailey stiffened in Aidan’s arms. “Why would you keep that a secret?”
Danae looked like she’d rather swallow a frog than answer. “Because it’s my fault things ended. He proposed and…I took an assignment at another duty station that was as far from him as possible. It was ugly. I totally broke his heart, and he hates me for it.”
“What the hell would you do that for?” Conrad asked, incredulous.
“I wasn’t ready and he was just too intense.” She threw her hands up. “It’s hard to explain.”
“Have you tried working things out?” Bailey asked.
“Yeah, sort of, but Miles isn’t the forgiving type. I think short of crawling on my hands and knees, ripping my heart out and handing it to him, and giving the apology speech of
the century, he’s never going to get past what I did. That’s something I have to live with,” Danae said, shrugging. There was a look of despair in her eyes that Aidan had never seen before. Up until now, she’d hid her feelings very well, but her story did explain quite a few things.
He lifted a brow. “Do you still love him?”
She licked her lips. “Yeah, but it doesn’t matter. He gave up on me a long time ago.”
“If that was the case,” Bailey said, leaning forward. “Miles wouldn’t always act so irrational when he’s around you. The only reason he’d do that is if he still has feelings.”
“You think so?” Hope lit in Danae’s eyes.
“Absolutely.”
Conrad spoke up, “I gotta agree with Bailey on this one. That guy is hopelessly in love with you even if he don’t know it right now.”
“Your stone is clear,” Aidan said, pointing to her open palm.
Danae smiled. “Yeah, I guess it is.”
He turned to Phoebe. “It is your turn.”
His sister gave him a nervous look. “I don’t know where to start.”
“Tell us about your lover in the Faegud toriq.”
Her expression went blank. “That’s over. It’s been over for a long time.”
“Who was it?” Aidan asked.
“No one you know.”
He gave her a skeptical look. “We do have to tell the truth here.”
“I’m telling you the truth. It was no one you know, and I doubt you ever met them,” she insisted.
“Then what are you hiding?”
She worked her jaw. “Someone else—Ozara. I’ve been seeing her secretly for a while now.”
“The…” Aidan started to say “spy” and barely caught himself. Ozara was the best female operative they’d ever had, especially since she could change the color of her scales and shift into any body type to match the dragons she came near. Few knew about her abilities or that she worked as a spy. He amended his response. “The one who is away often?”
“Yes.” Phoebe nodded.
He’d had no idea his sister preferred females. She’d never said anything to him about it or given any clue. “When did this start? Did father know?”
“A few months before we crossed over from Kederrawien.” She paused and worked her jaw. “Father did find out. He said we could see each other in private, but we must still produce at least one child each with a male before we could make our relationship open. Until then, I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone.”