Though it hurt to admit it, maybe a guy like Ryan would be better for her in some ways. Someone who could give her the life she wanted, who wouldn’t ask her to leave the place and the people she loved. Someone who hadn’t done what she’d as good as accused him of, betraying her by being emotionally unfaithful.
She’d nailed him. He had wondered “what if” a few times during their marriage.
The contest wasn’t for Maddie. This contest was for respect. And not just the other man’s respect.
Self-respect.
He’d keep the pace up if it killed him.
By the way his lungs burned and his back ached, it just might. No wonder there were no gyms out in the country. Who needed them?
Finally, they reached the last piece of wood. Grinning, he stretched out his longer arm and beat Ryan Connor to it by inches. It landed on the top of the woodpile with a triumphant clunk.
The burly man eyeballed him, pulling off his gloves and slapping them together in a sawdusty puff. Then he clapped Brad on the shoulder. “For a city guy, you did okay. So if she takes you back, you’d better make sure you treat Maddie right this time.”
Nothing grudging about the way he conceded. Not what Brad was used to in business deals, where they smiled to his face but sharpened knives behind his back. He had the sense of being accepted as an equal. It felt good. Satisfying as winning a big contract.
“I intend to.” If she’ll have me.
Not that he’d say it out loud. Only to God.
They strode to the store side by side, stomping the snow and ice off their feet before going in.
Maddie broke off from chatting with a petite red-haired woman, a touch of concern for him in her eyes. Ignoring the way every muscle in his body ached, he poured all the love and reassurance he could into his smile. Something zinged in the air between them, invisible but real and strong.
The breath went out of him. He’d never get used to the jolt of tenderness and longing seeing her gave him. How could he have been stupid enough to imagine he could love another woman? It would always be Maddie for him. If she refused to have him back, he’d stay single.
Small consolation that living alone and being a part-time dad would give him more time to focus on progressing to the top in hospital management. Though at least when he did, maybe he’d finally win his father’s respect. Or maybe not. According to Dad, anyone who wasn’t a doctor was nothing.
Winning this small battle with Ryan had been easy in comparison.
Maddie’s friend didn’t wait for introductions. “You must be Brad. I’m Claire.” She eyed him, as if assessing whether he measured up to her expectations for Maddie. Then she grinned and nodded. Seemed he’d passed her test. “Two men at your bidding, Mads! Lucky girl.” She picked up a shopping bag and a sheet of paper from the counter. “Now I have the recipe and the ingredients, I’ll scoot home to see how I go with these muffins. Mrs. Parks and I will be back later to set up for the nativity play.” Pointedly ignoring Ryan, she hurried off, turning at the door to wave to Maddie.
“What do you want us to do now?” Brad asked.
Holding her face in both hands, Maddie looked around and shook her head. “I don’t know what should come next. Store stuff, setting up for tonight, there’s so much to do. I didn’t anticipate getting thrown this today.”
Overwhelm seemed imminent.
Store management, he knew nothing about, but project management, he understood. The first thing was to prioritize. Stepping beside her, he pulled out the notes he’d made while Pat talked, and spread them on the counter. “Let’s decide what has to be done today and what can wait till tomorrow or next week.”
“We can cross that one off. Pat said it was most important, so I did it first.” She pointed to the item he’d written in all caps, the online order with the grocery wholesaler. “And the turkeys are in the cooler, so we won’t cause a mass outbreak of food poisoning. The rest of the list can wait. All we need to do now is prepare for tonight.” Her laugh had a hollow ring, and she rolled her eyes. “All we need to do. Prepare to feed and entertain almost every man, woman, and child in the area.”
He rested a hand on her arm, intending to offer encouragement. “We can do this. Would you like to take a moment to pray?”
Even though he touched her sweater, not her skin, every contact carried a reminder of a time they’d been more intimate. Her sudden intake of breath and startled glance showed she felt the same warm awareness. He expected she’d pull back, look away, but she didn’t. As their eyes connected, sudden knowledge hit him, as strong as an earth tremor, as sure as God’s grace.
Maddie still loved him, despite being so unhappy in their marriage she’d divorced him. She. Loved. Him.
Joy flooded every cell of his body. Thank You, Jesus!
It didn’t mean things would work out. It didn’t mean he had any more hope she’d agree to marry him again than he did sixty seconds earlier. But it did mean whatever he’d done wrong, however he’d failed her, he hadn’t lost everything.
They stood gazing at each other, in an eternal moment, lifted outside of time.
Ryan noisily cleared his throat, snapping whatever wordlessly connected them with an almost audible twang. If he wasn’t leaning against the counter, Brad might have staggered. He released his clasp on Maddie’s arm.
“Come on, you two. There’s work to do!” Ryan shook his head and huffed, though he smiled.
“Yes. We do.” Maddie laughed, a touch shakily. “Give me a moment to pray.” After a silent pause, she opened her eyes and smiled. “Okay. I’m fine now.”
Brad longed to support and encourage her, with an intensity that surprised him. Maddie had rarely allowed her vulnerability to show. She’d always seemed so self-sufficient and capable, so able to cope. Now, he saw she hadn’t wanted to let on she needed help. And he’d been too tied up in his work to think of asking her.
Just as he had, she’d changed since they last met.
“You’re doing great. You didn’t expect you’d need to do this.”
“No, I didn’t. My great-grandmother began hosting the carol singing and nativity here, in the 1930s. I’ve helped out with this event almost every Christmas of my life. But I’ve never been responsible for it before.” She grinned, though like her laugh it wobbled at the edges. “Gran and Pop used to start setting up for it days in advance. Pat and Susanna are clearly a bit more last minute. I wish they’d asked for help. Until they called, I didn’t know what they’d been dealing with.”
Her words echoed what he’d been thinking about her.
As she flattened her hands on the worn timber countertop, Brad had a powerful sense she drew strength from her heritage. From all the other Calders before her who’d stood at the same counter, in the same way. That continuity was something he’d never experienced. Had she felt somehow reduced, less than her full self, when she’d lived away from this place?
Along with the prayer, it seemed to boost her. Drawing in a deep breath, Maddie stepped away from the counter. “The first thing we need to do is rearrange the furniture in the café.” She pulled back the big folding doors dividing the store from the dining area.
They got to work, frequently interrupted by the jangle of the bell over the front door. The event preparation turned into an event of its own as people turned up to offer help, or came to shop and ended up staying. Maddie broke out sodas and cookies for the helpers. As he stopped to munch on a cookie, making up for his missed lunch, Brad watched her swirling through the group, smiling, laughing, organizing.
He loved seeing this new side of her. Changeable as the lake in summer, but always beautiful.
Finally, she stopped, looked around, and released a satisfied sigh. “Great work, guys. Thank you. I never imagined we’d get it done so fast.” Glancing at her watch, she grinned. “Hours to spare. I’ll close the store now and go home for a bit. I hope Jacob napped, or we’ll have one very grumpy little shepherd later.”
At last, the ot
hers left, and they were alone together.
“You did a great job.” He meant it.
“I had good help.” Maddie smiled up at him as she shut down the computer. “You see what I mean about Sunset Point? It’s a community.”
He nodded, switching off the lights around the store. “I do see it.”
And it sank his hopes even deeper.
More and more, he wondered if he’d be wrong to ask her to leave again. But his life and his work were in L.A. Or Chicago, if he scored the promotion. Apart from Maddie and Jacob, there was nothing for him here. No way to provide for them financially.
Bonner General, fifty miles away, had an excellent reputation, but was small. He might wait ten years for a management opening there, and it would be a hefty demotion. Everything in him screamed out against the idea.
He’d been trained to climb the ladder, not slide back down it.
For now, changing the subject was best. He’d pray about the situation with Maddie later. He eyed the woodstove. “Do we need to feed this thing? You’ll need to explain how to work it.”
Maddie smiled. “Not much call for these in L.A. The store has backup heating, so it won’t freeze if the fire goes out. But a woodstove gives a welcoming, comforting heat. Gran and Pop always kept it burning in the winter.” Putting the wire fireguard to one side, she showed him how to open the door and bank the split wood in the firebox.
So many country skills he had no idea about.
At least he could manage the grunt work. “Want me to refill the log basket now?”
“Please.”
Outside, the cold air bit harder than earlier. Maddie’s gran had been right about his coat. It didn’t cut it here, and the splinters from the wood had tattered the surface.
Barely four p.m., but the sun had already set behind the mountains. He paused to appreciate the colors flaming in the western sky and tinting the snow-covered hills and lake. Sunset Point was well named. No one seeing a sunset here could doubt the existence of a Creator.
It didn’t take long to fill the big basket with firewood and haul it into the store. Maddie finished shutting everything down and stood waiting by the door, keys in hand, ready to lock up. Her smile lit her face with a radiance brighter than the sunset. “Thank you for all you did this afternoon. I appreciated it.”
“I wanted to help. I enjoyed it.” That wasn’t a lie. Not even a polite exaggeration.
She raised an eyebrow. “Even your woodchucking contest with Ryan?”
“Even that.” He rubbed his back and pretended to hobble. “Though I may be sorry later.”
Her laugh rang out, merry and clear as a Christmas bell. “I hope not. Now, home to discover whether Gran and Hiram survived an afternoon with Jacob. I really do hope he napped.” She peeked at him, a mischievous glint in her eye. “I don’t know where he inherited his tendency to get grumpy when he doesn’t sleep enough. Couldn’t possibly be me.”
“Of course not.” Brad couldn’t resist rolling his eyes. Maddie woke like a bear if disturbed before she was ready, while he was an easy napper.
As they walked back along Main Street, she surprised him by tucking her hand into his, the way they used to walk. The icy wind tugged at him, but nothing could chill the warmth her sweet closeness raised.
Not even knowing that a pile of paperwork his boss wanted back first thing tomorrow morning waited on his laptop, and he probably wouldn’t get the chance to look at it till midnight.
Chapter 9
Maddie helped Jacob with the jeans and long-sleeved T-shirt they’d agreed should go under his shepherd outfit. Excitement about the carols and the nativity play had him hyped up — before tonight’s inevitable sugar overdose.
Thankfully, Gran and Hiram had managed fine. Hiram stayed until she and Brad came home from the store, and Gran even managed to bake a batch of her prizewinning huckleberry pies.
“I have to wear a dress,” Jacob pouted to Brad in a disgusted tone.
Maddie smiled and shook her head. “It’s not a dress. It’s a Middle Eastern robe. All the boys in the play will be wearing them.” Looking up from tying sneakers, she pointed at the costume she’d stitched, hanging over his chair. “Ask your daddy what he thinks.”
Brad picked up the homespun robe and made a big deal of examining it. “Nice.” He whistled. “Definitely not a dress. I wore the same thing when I was in a nativity play, too.”
“You wore one? For real?” Wide-eyed Jacob gawked up at Brad, who nodded.
“Sure did.”
A grin spread across the boy’s face, and he gave a thumbs up, the gesture so comically adult on his small hand she had to stifle a chuckle. “Okay! Mom, when can I put it on?” Enthusiasm replaced his former reluctance.
The power of Daddy. She didn’t know whether to be relieved or irritated.
Relief won. Something shifted in her attitude today. Something big. So many times in her marriage, she’d been resentful. She’d done the hard work of parenting, yet all Jacob had eyes and ears for was Daddy.
But Brad was here with them now. He hadn’t used work as a reason to hide behind his laptop and avoid them. That meant so much.
“You put the costume on just before the play.” She patted Jacob’s foot and stood. “There. You’re all done.”
Jacob jumped up. Brad was already folding the robe, along with the cloak and headgear. This was how it should have been. The three of them, together. She’d longed for this, immeasurably more than jewelry she didn’t wear, presents she didn’t want, and meals at fancy restaurants.
Part of her wanted to hold back, resist surrendering to this blessing. Why bother, when he’d be gone so soon? Another part wanted to enjoy the sweet gift while she could, store up memories for when they were apart. Wasn’t it time to put on praise instead of despair? She’d spent so long angry over the disappointments in her marriage.
Jacob deserved to see his parents happy together, even if only briefly.
Lord, I don’t know how to feel or what to hope for. When we were married, I didn’t feel Brad loved me. He didn’t seem to want to be with me or Jacob. But things are different now. I don’t want to stay angry with him anymore.
She and Brad followed after Jacob’s headlong rush downstairs. Gran sat at the kitchen table, head bent over her hands. Praying? She looked up and smiled as they entered, but her face lacked its usual apple-cheeked glow, and something shadowed her eyes.
Fatigue? Anxiety? Or something more serious?
Maddie hurried over to hug her. “I’m sorry for asking you to take over from me today. You had enough to do. Jacob can come to the store with us tomorrow.”
Gran straightened. “He was no trouble. Hiram was a wonderful help.” A hint of color tinged her cheeks. “I know we always walk, but he’s offered to drive me to the carols tonight. Easier to get the pies there that way.”
Concern tightened Maddie’s chest. Gran never accepted a ride anywhere she could walk. Observing carefully, she checked the older woman. Was she using both hands? Did both sides of her face move evenly? Gran’s doctor instructed Maddie in what to look for — the signs of further strokes.
An unwelcome reminder. If she wanted to return to the city with Brad, she couldn’t. Not when it meant leaving the beloved woman who’d raised her.
“I’m fine, child.” Gran chuckled, opening and closing both hands in front of her and exaggerating a toothy grin. “Just feeling my age.”
Laughing, Maddie hugged her again. “You weren’t supposed to notice! Okay, I’m reassured. Brad and I should go soon, to finish setting up. When is Hiram coming to collect you?”
“I asked him to come any time now. I know you worry about leaving me alone. No need, of course!”
The mudroom door thudded. Hiram, a backdoor friend. Maddie found him in there, pulling off his snow boots. Smiling thanks, he padded into the kitchen. “Your gran told me you’d want to leave earlier tonight. Would you like us to bring Jacob along with us?”
Maddie hesitated
. The gleam in Hiram’s eyes suggested he and Gran cooked up the plan to push her and Brad into more time alone. She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Knowing she’d never stopped loving him didn’t alter the fact they now lived separate lives. And the point of Brad being here was father-son time. They’d missed a chunk today already.
Jacob decided it. “I want to be with Daddy.” More than a hint of mulishness jutted his lower lip.
Gran chuckled. “Maddie, I saw that same look on your face whenever your dad was home on furlough and I tried to separate you.”
She remembered. Just like she remembered crying herself to sleep every time her now-and-then Dad breezed back out of her life again. By divorcing Brad, had she done the same to Jacob? Her heart clenched painfully as guilt twisted her.
No. She stiffened her spine. Brad had hardly been home when they’d lived together. Jacob spent more time with his father today than he’d had in a week back then. And life here at the lake was so much better for him.
Somehow, she wasn’t quite convincing herself.
When Brad left after New Year’s Day, Jacob would cry. The same way she had for her dad.
“Okay, Peanut. You can come with us.” She couldn’t resist ruffling his soft hair while he was still young enough not to mind.
When they donned their cold-weather clothing before leaving, it was Brad who knelt to fasten Jacob’s coat and snow boots. Brad who pulled the thick knitted hat down over Jacob’s ears. Brad who helped him on with his mittens.
Once, she would have been jealous. Without her even realizing, it seemed God had healed that. Seeing Jacob’s happiness at Brad doing these little things for him, she couldn’t feel anything but gratitude.
Brad reached for his coat, a sorry wreck after his work at the store. She stilled his hand, catching her breath as the contact trembled through her.
His head tilted and his eyebrow lifted in a question.
“Gran, is that offer of Pop’s old coat still open?” Somehow it felt right.
“Of course. It’s hanging right there in the closet.” Unmistakable surprise colored Gran’s voice and her curious eyes, as she peered around the kitchen door.
Come to the Lake Page 6