Something else I notice about Ebb's room is that it smells like wildflowers. Our room doesn't smell like flowers, and I had never thought to do that. It makes Ebb's room feel less like a place to sleep, and more like a place where you can just... be.
Ebb takes off her shirt and pants then puts on her armor. I help her tie the straps together so that her armor will stay on. It doesn't take very long, and I don't mind helping.
"Thanks, Sam. You know, I can put the armor on myself, but it's nice to have help," says Ebb.
"You're welcome, and I am the same way. I can get my armor on by myself, but with help it goes much faster. Flot and Jet usually help me put it on," I say.
"Those are your brothers, right?" asks Ebb.
"Yes, although I guess they aren't really my brothers. We don't come from the same parents. I just watch over them and make sure that they are safe. But I call them my brothers."
"Well then since I'm watching over you, I guess you have a new big sister," says Ebb.
"I don't know if I would say you were my big sister, because I think we've seen the same amount of snows," I mention.
"It definitely seems like it, or at least close. Fine then, I will just be your sister," says Ebb, smiling.
I smile back, but inside it kind of hurts. I have spent so long trying to survive, that I haven't really tried to make friends with anyone. I don't know Ebb well enough yet to know if I can trust her, and especially not enough to call her a friend. But I hope that someday I will.
I wonder if I scare people away so that they can't hurt me, either by hurting me with their fists and weapons, or by hurting me inside, in my heart. I realize that Ebb is looking at me, waiting, while I am lost in my thoughts.
"I don't have any friends," I admit.
"I doubt that's true, Sam. I'm sure you have many friends," says Ebb.
"I am friends with a few gray ones, but no one that was a new one when I was."
Her smile fades.
"I could imagine it would be difficult for you to make friends, Sam, when people think that you are the Sky Child."
"I think that people only started believing that because of what happened today," I say.
"Actually, there are a few of us who have believed it for a long time, or at least thought it might be true," says Ebb.
"So you think I might be the Sky Child?"
"It's possible, but you seem like a normal person to me. I would think that the Sky Child would be covered in flames like a glowing stick, and could fly like a bird, and things like that."
"Yeah, I can't do any of those, but I'm pretty good with my sling," I say.
"I know. I've seen you use it during the hunt. You have very good aim, when you aren't purposely missing," says Ebb.
"Um, what do you mean?" I ask.
"I know that you miss on purpose, so that the other hunters won't know you're as good as you are," says Ebb.
"Why do you think that?"
"Because I've seen you use your sling when you really need to, and you never miss. And some of the rocks that you've thrown with it have struck very small targets. When you hit an animal, you almost always hit them in the head. Why is that?"
It takes me a moment to think.
"Because I don't want them to suffer. If you hit them in the head, it will either kill them or make them go to sleep. They won't feel any pain," I say.
"That is very kind of you, Sam," says Ebb.
"I don't like killing things. I only do it because I must, so that we can all live and have food to eat. I really only think about surviving," I say.
"That makes me a little sad. There is more to life than just surviving. But I imagine it would be even harder to do more than just survive when you're taking care of a pair of brothers."
I just nod.
"I'm ready to visit Charm now, if you are," says Ebb.
"I'm ready too," I say.
It takes us a while to walk to Charm's room, because it's down some long tunnels, tucked into the very back of the Crag. Ebb makes sure to check every corner again before I walk past.
I look forward to seeing Charm, because she's the closest thing to a parent I've ever had. I never knew my real parents. I don't know who they were, and no one in the Crag seems to know either. I have asked many, but all that they remember was that I was very young when I was found outside the cave. I was left out in the rain, and several of the women that were unjoined, and women that were gray ones took care of me.
Charm is the one I remember taking care of me more than any of my other mothers. She has always been so good of heart, and has always treated me well. But instead of caring for me until I was no longer a new one, like how I've protected Flot and Jet, after a few snows I was left to grow up on my own. I was still allowed to talk to Charm, but I was given my own room, and told not to see her much.
I still wonder why things changed, if I had done something wrong, or if one of the leaders decided to keep me from her. Maybe I had grown too close to her, or relied on her too much.
Being strong enough to take care of yourself is important, because everyone must help the Crag. How can people help the Crag if they cannot even help themselves? It's possible that someone decided to change my life so I'd grow up strong. So that I could someday fight, and someday lead.
Maybe that's what it was all about. Maybe the leaders had been planning for me to lead the hunt all along. It would explain why Lagan wanted me to replace him. Maybe even as a new one I showed skills that they would want in a leader.
I may never know, because the one man I would ask, Lagan, has been covered in grass and clover. Maybe Charm knows why I was taken from her.
We finally reach her room. I pull Charm's curtain back and put my head inside.
"Charm, it's Sam and Ebb. Can we come in?"
"Yes, of course you can come in," says Charm.
We step inside. There is just enough room for Charm's bed, her clothes, and the stumps that she uses as chairs. Ebb and I both sit down. Charm's long white hair touches the bed that she's sitting on. It's so straight and beautiful that it seems out of place in the Crag. She is knitting something out of yarn.
Charm is one of the best in the Crag at knitting. Each snow she knits me a new shirt or pair of pants. The clothes that she makes are very strong and last a long time.
"So why have you come to visit, Sam? Is it because of the dragon you fought?" asks Charm.
"You heard about that?"
"Of course I did. What, do you think an old woman like me wouldn't talk to people, wouldn't hear things?" asks Charm, smiling at me.
I can tell that Charm isn't upset at me, that she's just teasing. That has always been Charm's way. Thankfully, she is very good at knowing who is safe to tease, and who is not.
"No, it's not that at all Charm," I say.
"Good. Just because I am a gray one doesn't mean that I'm useless."
"I know!"
"Yes, well now that I know that you know, what have you come for, if not to tell me about killing a dragon?" asks Charm.
"I have been wondering why I was taken from you when I was still a new one," I say.
Charm's face shows loss and sadness, and I think I even see some anger in it. I feel bad for asking, because it makes her unhappy to think about it.
"I've been wondering when you would get around to asking me that," says Charm. "You see, when you were first found, you couldn't walk or talk, or even eat without help. There were a few of us that hadn't yet had any new ones, so we took turns feeding you, cleaning you and watching over you. As the snows came and left, most of those that helped take care of you found other people to join with, and they started having new ones of their own."
"But you never had any new ones," I say.
"No, I never did. Until I met you, I never really wanted to have new ones. But by then, I couldn't have new ones anymore."
"I'm sorry, Charm."
"Oh, don't be. I loved you as if you were my own new one. Once I saw you, something insi
de me changed. You were so small, and so pink, and your eyes were always wide open, looking at things. I could tell that you would grow up smart. That someday you would do great things," says Charm.
"I haven't done anything great," I say.
"Yes you have. You saved the hunters today. At least, that is what people are saying."
"People are also saying that I am the Sky Child."
Charm looks at me for a moment, smiling.
"That's because you are," says Charm.
I look over at Ebb, who seems surprised by Charm's words, but she smiles at me and nods. I turn back to Charm.
"I can't be the Sky Child. I'm not special," I say.
"You are to me," says Charm.
"Then why was I taken from you? Why did you let that happen?" I ask.
Charm looks very hurt. I know it wasn't her decision, but I have always felt like maybe Charm didn't try very hard to keep me. That's why it's difficult to be around her sometimes. I feel like she gave up on me.
"I did everything I could to keep you Sam. I pray to the Sky Gods you know that. Chaff was the one that suggested you be on your own. He told Hammer that since you were the Sky Child, that you should be raised to be strong, and not rely on anyone. Hammer wasn't sure that it was a good idea at such a young age. Chaff came to me and said that if I didn't agree to let you go, that he would have you killed."
"Why? Why would Chaff want me dead?" I ask.
"Because, just like everyone else, he believes the stories. He worried that you were the Sky Child."
"I still don't understand why people think I'm the Sky Child."
"Because you weren't born in the Crag. You are the only person we have ever seen from outside the cave. Most people believe we are the only ones that survived the End War. So how else could you be here? Only the Sky Gods could have given you to us."
"Even if I was the Sky Child, why would he want to kill me? The Sky Child is supposed to bring peace, and food, and happiness to everyone."
"Not to Chaff. You see, if everyone has plenty of food, then Chaff has no control anymore. He loses the one thing that makes him powerful and feared in the Crag. Chaff threatened me so that I would agree to give you up. I talked to Hammer and said that I thought it was a good idea for you to be on your own," says Charm.
"But if I were such a threat to Chaff, why didn't he just kill me?" I ask.
"Because he's a coward. If people knew he was behind your death, they would kill him, too. There are people that believe very strongly that you are the Sky Child, Sam, and they would do anything to protect you."
"Why didn't he send someone else to kill me then?"
"Because he didn't trust anyone, and no one trusted him. He knows that everyone hates him. So why would someone want to help Chaff kill the one person that might get rid of him? I think he hoped that someone would do it for him. That someone would get jealous of you and kill you. Maybe even someone who has lived as many snows as you have," says Charm.
I think for a moment. I start to realize that maybe Chaff had told Sickle and Scythe to bully me when I was a new one. He may even send one of them to kill me someday. Knowing that Chaff would use his own sons that way makes me hate him even more.
"I am sorry Charm for hurting you with my questions. I know that you did what you had to. I didn't know why until now, but thank you for telling me the truth," I say.
"The truth, Sam, is that I would do anything for you. Even if that means I have to let you live somewhere else. Even if I miss you every day. Even if I wish things could be different, and that we could be together again. You have no idea how hard it has been for me. I don't get to be there for you, not the way I want to. I see you change, and become older. You are a parent now to your brothers. Can you imagine how hard it would be to have them taken away from you?"
"I can't."
"I did it because I love you, Sam."
I reach out and hug Charm. I wish that I had talked to her about this sooner, instead of letting the questions and doubt make me wonder if she really cared about me.
"I love you too, Charm."
I'm surprised that I said it out loud. I know I feel love for Charm, but I never really tell anyone that I love them. Not even Flot and Jet.
"Okay, you are going to have to stop all of this," says Ebb. "You're making me cry."
Charm and I both laugh.
"We should probably be letting you sleep now, Charm," I say.
"I hope that you stay safe and happy, Sky Child. I pray to the Sky Gods every day that you are," says Charm.
I smile back at her as Ebb and I stand up to leave.
"Oh, Charm, there is one more thing I was wondering about," I say.
"Yes?"
"How did I get my name?" I ask.
"Sam, your name was stitched into the blanket we found you wrapped in," says Charm.
"I thought that maybe you had named me."
"I wish I had, but no, the Sky Gods had already given you a name."
I nod my head, not really believing that the Sky Gods had named me, but not disagreeing with Charm's memory. Ebb and I leave.
Once we are well away from Charm's room, I turn to Ebb.
"Ebb, please don't tell anyone what Charm and I talked about. If anyone outside of us knew what she said, it could be dangerous. It could be dangerous for a lot of people," I say.
"Sam, I would never betray you like that," says Ebb.
"Thank you, Ebb, for protecting both my life, and my secrets."
"It is an honor."
While checking for danger along the way, Ebb walks me back to my room. As I make my way inside, Ebb smiles then turns and stands guard at the entrance of our room. I smile, because finally I may have made a friend.
13
It's not until I wake up that I realize how hard yesterday was on me. I am sore in my entire body. Every time I breathe out, it feels like my life is flowing out of me. When the people that drink too much beer talk about what the next morning is like, I imagine that this is how they feel.
Jet and Flot are busy snoring, which is what they both do best. I poke my head outside our room and see that Ebb is still there. She looks very tired.
"Ebb, I am up now. Thank you for protecting us last night. Please, go get some sleep," I say.
"Are you sure you will be safe?" asks Ebb.
"Yes. I have my brothers with me now, and they are more than enough protection for me," I say.
"I can tell that they are dangerous by how well they snore," says Ebb.
"They are amazing snorers," I admit.
"Well, take care then Sam."
"And you, Ebb."
I watch as Ebb leaves.
After a while I grow bored because I have nothing to do, and Jet and Flot are still asleep. I decide to make breakfast. I realize it may not be safe for me to be on my own right now, but things are most dangerous at night when they think you are asleep. Most killers in the Crag are cowards, and they won't risk attacking someone who can defend themselves.
I make my way to the mouth of the cave. The sun is still rising, and it is low enough that I cannot see it yet. The sky is gray and covered in clouds that cast white light all around me. It is barely raining; just enough to wet your hair, but not soak you. I hurry to where we keep the animals, so that I can stay as dry as possible.
When I reach the chickens, I see one of the hunters, Anchor, collecting his own breakfast. Anchor is tall and thin; so thin that I wonder how he stands without falling into pieces. His arms and legs move in strange ways, like they are not a part of him. His black hair covers his moon-white face when he leans over. I can tell that he must wear his helmet whenever he is outside in the sun.
Anchor catches me out of the corner of his eye, and turns to me. I stop quickly, not knowing whether I am in danger or not. I keep my hands at my sides, formed into fists, ready to use them if necessary.
"Sam, you startled me! Can I call you Sam?" asks Anchor.
"Yes, that would be okay," I say.
>
"I just didn't know if that is what you liked to be called, now that you are the Leader of the Hunt and all," says Anchor.
"Sam is fine," I say.
I calm down a little. I start to realize that anyone worried about what they should call someone probably isn't a killer. I also remember that Anchor, although not one of Lagan's protectors, was still a loyal friend of Lagan's. I have to hope that means that Anchor will be a loyal friend of mine as well.
"I have news for you!" says Anchor, excited.
His excitement reminds me of Flot and Jet many snows ago, when they wanted to tell me something that they thought was important. I relax more, realizing that Anchor is probably harmless. Or at least harmless to me. I have seen him use a big spear, and he is very good with it. He always seems to hit a place on an animal that will make it die quickly. It makes me think that he is like me, and doesn't want to see the animals in pain.
"What is your news, Anchor?" I say.
"Oh, good, you know me. Wait, you know me?" he says in surprise.
"You were one of Lagan's friends," I say.
"Yes, we are friends. I mean, I guess, we were friends."
The smile leaves Anchor's face.
"I am very sorry about Lagan," I say.
"Me too. He was the best of us. He always tried to keep peace among the hunters. Oh, but now we have you," says Anchor, trying to smile through his sadness.
"So what is your news?"
"Oh, right. Well, Mast talked to me last night, and he thought we should make you some special armor, since you're our leader now. Something that would be good enough for the Sky Child."
"Anchor, I am not the Sky Child."
"That's what Mast said you would say. But don't worry, it's our secret. I won't tell anyone that you are the Sky Child," says Anchor.
"No, really, I'm not the Sky Child. It's just a story," I say.
"Oh, right," says Anchor, winking at me.
Sigh.
"You will need to come to my room when you are done with breakfast, so that I can get your outline," says Anchor.
"The armor I have is fine," I say.
"I am sorry, Sam, but you have the armor of a lead hunter, not the Leader of the Hunt. Notice the difference there? We need to be able to see you when we're hunting, so that we can protect you," says Anchor.
Sky Child Page 6