by K. A. Linde
“Well, are you going to tell me what happened to your face?”
My mother gently touched the bruising on my neck and cheekbone. My back, neck, and ribs still hurt like a bitch, and flying hadn’t really helped.
“I totaled my Ferrari.”
For the first time, I caught both my mother and Katherine completely off guard.
“You did what?” Katherine gasped.
“It was raining, and some poor college student skidded through the light and totaled my car. It’s what sparked this whole mess with Sutton. Her husband had died unexpectedly.”
My mother sipped her tea, thoughtful. She didn’t dare touch one of the pastries. It wasn’t on her diet.
“This is why you should get a driver,” Katherine huffed.
“People don’t have drivers in Lubbock,” I told her.
“Well, they should.”
I refrained from rolling my eyes. If Jensen Wright didn’t have a driver, then no one in Lubbock needed a driver. In fact, Jensen drove a pickup truck. I bet Katherine would be appalled.
My mother reached out and put her hand on mine. “I’m really glad to have you back, David. I know that our relationship has always been a little rocky. But I admire you for the strong, independent man you are. I love that you’ve made a name for yourself on your own. Even if I wanted you here. I love your loyalty and passion and drive. You couldn’t have gotten where you are without it.”
I gawked at my mother. I’d never gotten this many compliments ever, let alone in one sitting.
“But you don’t belong here anymore. You should go back to Lubbock.”
“What?” I asked in shock. “I’m not going back to Lubbock. Didn’t you hear anything I said?”
“Yes. I think you scared this young woman. I think you love her, and you’re afraid. And I find that all perfectly reasonable. But Van Pelts do not run from their problems. We face them.”
“I do love her. But I left for a reason,” I said stubbornly. “I’m not going to just rush back to her. She hasn’t even called me or sent me a text message since I left. Not one. The ball is in her court. Not mine.”
“The ball is never in the woman’s court. Pick up some flowers when you get back into town, and sweep her off her feet.”
“Mother, this doesn’t even sound like you,” Katherine said.
“I don’t want you to come back here out of obligation. If you want to be in New York, I know plenty of people who can set you up in a firm. We can get you an apartment on Fifth. Life will go on as usual. But you don’t want to be here.”
“Well, I am here. And I don’t want a job in a firm or an apartment on Fifth. I want a fresh start. Because I’m not going back to Lubbock. Sutton and I are over. Whether I want it or not.”
I scraped my chair back, already tired of this conversation.
“David, wait,” Celeste said. “Don’t run out of here in a hurry. I want us to be a family again.”
“Then, can we get out of this stuffy room and go eat some real food for lunch? I can’t sustain myself on overpriced tea.”
“Where do you want to go?” Celeste asked with an arched eyebrow.
I laughed and guided them out of the room. It was a couple of blocks before I found what I had been looking for.
“No way,” Katherine said. She looked right and left, as if she couldn’t possibly be seen here.
“Dollar pizza.” I ordered three slices and handed them off to my mother and sister, who looked as if slapping them across the face would be nicer than handing them cheap pizza.
“If anyone sees me with this, I will probably die,” Katherine told me.
“Live a little.” I raised my piece of New York–style pizza in the air, as if I were making a toast. “To family and new beginnings.”
Then, I took a giant bite of the piping hot meal and watched with both surprise and satisfaction as my upscale mom and snooty sister each bit into their own slices.
Having my family back was a dream I’d never envisioned.
And, while this was amazing, a new kind of wonderful, it wasn’t Sutton. I missed her like crazy. And I wondered if a day would ever go by when I didn’t mourn losing her.
Twenty-Five
Sutton
I’d stood at that window until the plane was long gone and then some.
He’d left.
I’d laid it all out there, and he’d still left.
I felt…horrible. No, worse than horrible. Like my insides had become my outsides. Like I might throw up at any moment. Like everything in my world had just come crashing down, and there was nothing I could do about it.
Worst of all, I’d done this to myself.
I’d made David think that I wasn’t actually ready for this. And he’d believed me. He didn’t think I was ready, and running to the airport to stop him hadn’t made it any better. In fact, it seemed to have made it worse. Because, now, he was gone for good, believing that all he did was cause me heartache.
Now, my heart was broken.
And I felt as dead inside as I had the day that Maverick died.
David was right. This was about me. Me and only me.
All I knew was that I needed to fix it.
I just had no idea how to do that.
Both luckily and unluckily, Emery and Jensen’s wedding was this weekend. So, my Friday night and Saturday were completely booked. I didn’t have to think about anything, except the set schedule Heidi had handed out to us earlier that week.
I attended the rehearsal dinner, even managing to laugh at the pictures that were shown of Jensen and Emery together and the stories that Heidi, Landon, and Morgan told about them.
I showed up right on time on Saturday morning. Sat through hair and makeup like a champ. Pulled on the gorgeous red dress Emery had picked out for us. Oohed and aahed over Emery’s black wedding dress.
Jensen and Emery met ahead of time. Too anxious to wait to see each other. A million pictures later, everyone was faking their smiles, so I didn’t even look out of place.
“Chin up,” Morgan said, nudging me.
“I’m happy for them.”
“But you’re not happy.”
I shrugged. “Doesn’t matter today. Today is all about Jensen and Emery. This is the wedding he should have had the first go-around.”
“True. Colton does look dapper,” Morgan said, admiring Jensen’s son, who lived with his mother.
“He does. And Jason in that suit,” I said with a forced laugh. “So little for such an expense.”
“It’s worth it. You’ll cherish these pictures forever.”
And they would forever be tainted for me. But, of course, I didn’t say that.
It was an evening wedding.
With her black wedding dress and Jensen’s tuxedo, it only made sense. They’d chosen a venue just outside of town at one of Lubbock’s famous local wineries. Considering how many people Jensen had invited—basically the whole city—they’d wanted something outdoors to accommodate the crowd. And a crowd it was.
The girls and I were peeking through the dressing room space we’d been given and watched as people showed up in droves. The Wright name sure drew a crowd, but everyone knew Jensen. He was well liked and respected. It was showing with how many people were in attendance.
My heart panged at the memory of my own wedding. It had been such a good day. Even as I’d been pregnant and unable to consume any alcohol, Maverick had made it the best time. Now, I was at Jensen’s wedding, and the only person I wanted at my side was David. And yet I had pushed him away.
I searched for his face in the crowd even though I knew I wouldn’t find it. To my surprise, I saw Penn, who I had completely forgotten was coming to this. But he didn’t have Katherine at his side. So, that probably meant no David either.
I turned away from the chaos outside and vacated my spot next to Julia to speak to Emery.
Emery smiled at me and then drank from a glass of champagne.
“How are you holding up?�
� I asked her.
“Butterflies. I mean, I didn’t think Jensen would ever want to get married. Now, it’s here, and it’s a little scary.”
“I know those feelings. But, remember, you’re walking toward your future, and that’s really all that matters.”
Even if your future only lasts for a year and a half.
“You’re right,” Emery said, downing the rest of her champagne.
I took it from her and placed it on the table.
“I want to marry Jensen. It’s just that the theatrics aren’t me.”
“Enjoy every minute of it. This is the first day of the rest of your life.”
Emery grinned wider. “Thanks, Sutton.”
“Are you ready? I can help you put your shoes back on.”
“Yes. Dear God, why did I decide on such a huge dress? I should be able to slip on my own Converse.”
“Because you look beautiful in it, and the Converse kick ass.”
I helped her into her shoes as the wedding planner rushed in to get us into position. I grabbed my bouquet of white flowers. Heidi handed Emery her bouquet of bright red flowers. And then we were off.
We meandered through the vineyard before coming to a stop. Our heels sinking into the dirt, we all wished we’d gone with Converse like Emery. Our walk down the aisle was short, but Emery took her time. And it was the happiest I’d ever seen my brother. Their vows were perfect, and somehow, it was all over. It felt like barely a second had passed.
The lot of us retreated to the reception space to await the throng of guests. It was an event, and I was glad for the buffet and champagne by the time we made it through the whole thing.
Jason ran over to me with Jenny in tow.
“Hey, buddy. You did so good.”
Keeping a two-year-old quiet was magic. I was lucky that Jenny was here. She sank into the seat next to me.
“Mommy?” Then, he pointed across the dance floor to where Bethany was standing with her older sister, Lilyanne.
“Yes, go ahead. You can dance.”
I watched him run out onto the dance floor and start to turn around in circles in front of his friends.
“Show-off,” I muttered.
Jenny laughed next to me. “He really is. So, how are you holding up?”
“Like shit,” I told her honestly. “But I’m here. I’m trying to enjoy the moment for my brother.”
“Have you tried calling David?”
“I mean…I’ve thought about it a dozen times. Picked up the phone, put it down, picked it up again. But what can I say that I didn’t say at the airport? It didn’t matter then, so how would it matter now?”
“Take the time to process. Maybe he’ll come around.”
“Maybe.”
Just then, Julian appeared and offered Jenny his hand.
“You don’t mind?” she asked me.
“Of course not. Go have fun.”
Jenny grinned and then rushed onto the dance floor with Julian.
My eyes skittered over the crowd. Jordan had flown his girlfriend in for the occasion, and Annie was giving him the side-eye while simultaneously flirting shamelessly with the bartender. And the rest of my family had smiles plastered on their faces as they danced to the music. Jensen and Emery at the center of the crowd. Landon and a pregnant Heidi laughing together. Austin and Julia not so discreetly mauling each other. Patrick trying to cajole Morgan out onto the dance floor while she rolled her eyes and protested. Even Kimber and her husband, Noah, were out dancing by the kids.
Everyone had someone.
And my someone was thousands of miles away.
I sighed and then stood up. I knew what I needed to do. I couldn’t just let David go. Maybe I couldn’t fix what I’d broken. But I knew that I missed him desperately. I missed him more than anything. Being at this wedding, alone, only made me realize how lonely I really was. I’d had that happiness, and it had slipped between my fingers. I wanted it back, and the only way to get it back was to make it happen. No one else could fix this but me.
I stood from the table and slowly meandered out of the reception. A few people stopped to say hi to me, but I extracted myself and kept going until I was alone in the vineyard. I pulled my phone out of the pocket of my dress—thank fuck this dress had pockets—and with a big gulp of courage, I called David’s number.
It rang three times. Just when I thought for sure that he wouldn’t answer, the line clicked over, and he said, “Hello?”
“Hey, David,” I said softly. I took another step forward, trying to drown out the music from the party.
“This is unexpected.”
“I know. I’m sure you didn’t think I’d call. And, for a while, I didn’t know what the point would be to calling since, you know, you left and went back to New York City, even after I pleaded with you to stay.”
“It wasn’t the right time.”
“Okay, just…let me get this all out there. You don’t have to say anything until I’m done.” I took a deep breath and launched into my speech. “I have been a widow for four hundred twenty-nine days. And, every one of those days, I have thought jarringly about what I lost. My husband after only a year and a half of marriage. My college friends who couldn’t deal with my new status…with my grief. But, most of all, I lost myself. I lost a huge part of who I had been. I couldn’t find the joy in anything. I stopped going to church. I was still present at family functions, but I wasn’t there. And I kept asking through all of it, Why me? What did I do to deserve a dead husband, a dead mother, a dead father? How much more could I take?” I sniffled around the pain, just admitting it all out loud.
“I was drowning, and the only reason I was alive at all was because of Jason. I couldn’t let him grow up without any parents either. He didn’t even have siblings to raise him.
“And then you entered my life. I mean, you were always standing there, on the sidelines, ready to help out whenever I needed you. But I was so far gone that I didn’t see it for what it was.
“When I finally opened my eyes, I felt like this was so…right. And the more time we spent together, the more right it felt. I still had doubts and fear, and I was so fucked up. I let it control me instead of learning how to control it. You endured them all and never tried to step away. You were so understanding. So wonderful.
“Then, the car accident happened, and I fell off the deep end. I was drowning again, and I didn’t know how to pick myself up. It wasn’t until you left…really left that I realized no one else was going to pick me up but myself. I’ve been so miserable in the days that you have been gone. But I’m not drowning. I just miss you. I miss you so much.” I choked up again and hoped the tears wouldn’t fall.
“What I’ve realized is that I put restrictions on myself. I told myself I couldn’t or shouldn’t feel this way. That little voice told me it was too soon. But it’s okay for me to feel again. And it’s okay for me to want you. And it’s okay to fall in love.
“I’m so sorry for pushing you away. I’m sorry for putting you in a position where you couldn’t even believe what I was saying. I’m sorry for everything. I wish that we could fix this. Because I love you. I love you with all my heart. I’ll fly to New York tonight if that’s what it takes. Because I’m ready for us. I’m ready.”
The words hung between us. He didn’t say anything at first, and the silence stretched.
“David?”
“Yes, sorry, I could barely hear you over the music.”
My heart sank. He’s at some party while on the phone with me? Is this a joke to him?
“What music?”
“Well, it’s Michael Bublé right now.”
The voice had come from right behind me.
I whirled around, my hand flying to my mouth.
David walked out of the shadows, materializing before me, as if plucked out of thin air.
He extended a hand to me. “Care to dance?”
Twenty-Six
Sutton
“Oh my God, what ar
e you doing here?”
“I realized I was wrong. Something my mom said actually about this being where I belong. Where you are is where I belong. And so I came back to make it right. I was waiting to figure out how to do that without ruining Jensen and Emery’s wedding when you walked outside.”
I dropped my hand down into David’s. My body was abuzz with excitement because he was here. He’d come back. For me.
“I’m so sorry, David. I know I’ve been so erratic, and I’m not going to promise to never be emotional again. But I do promise that we’ll do this together. If you’ll have me.”
He tugged me forward until our breaths mingled. My red dress nearly touched his tux.
“I’ll have you.” Then, he bent down and kissed me.
Fireworks exploded.
Church bells rang.
A choir sang.
And, just like that, all the tension and anxiety and worry melted away. I was right where I was supposed to be—in David’s arms with his lips on mine. We moved as one, perfectly in sync. My hands pushed up into his hair, and he only tugged me closer, kissing me as if I were a drowning man’s air.
I didn’t know how long we kissed. It could have been minutes or hours or days. But, when he finally pulled back to rest his forehead against mine and slowly swayed us to the music filtering in from the reception, our breathing was uneven, and my lips were puffy. Thank God for lipstick that didn’t budge.
“You’re really here to stay?” I whispered.
“Turns out, New York doesn’t suit me anymore.”
“And Lubbock does?”
“You do.”
“I still can’t believe you left.”
“Me either.”
I sighed. “I put you in the position to not believe what I was saying. I was the one with the trust issues, and I made it so that you couldn’t trust me.”
“Shh,” he said gently. “No blame. We both did the wrong things. But I just want to be here with you right now.”
I leaned my head against his suit and closed my eyes.