The Living Dead

by John Joseph Adams

  I don’t know how much of this the driver knew, but I’m guessing he’d heard most of it, which is why he didn’t take himself to the nearest hospital as soon as he realized what had happened to him. Instead, he switched off the hazards, released the brake, and headed back out onto the road. It could be he was thinking he had to make this last delivery while he could, but I doubt it. He was already dead; his body simply needed to catch up to that fact. His mind, though—his mind was not having any of this. As far as his mind was concerned, he’d scraped his arm, that was all, hardly enough to have turned him into one of those things, and if he went on with this day the way he’d intended, everything would be fine. If he had to roll down his window, because the cab had grown so hot he checked to be sure he hadn’t turned the heater on high, he must be fighting off the cold that was making the rounds at work. That same cold must be what was causing the skin under his jaw to feel so sore. The temptation to tilt the rearview mirror so he could inspect his tongue must have been almost too much to resist.

  If the driver heard anything moving in the back of the truck, he probably assumed it was more of the plastic crates come loose, maybe a piece of furniture that had broken the straps securing it. Of course, by then his fever would have ignited, so the eaters could have banged around the inside of that container for the hours it took him to complete what should have been a sixty-minute trip and I doubt he would have noticed. Or, the sounds might have registered, but—you know how it is when you’re that sick: you’re aware of what’s going on around you, but there’s a disconnect—it fails to mean what it should. How else do you explain what led this guy to drive a large moving truck full of eaters into the middle of a neighborhood—into the middle of our neighborhood—my neighborhood, the place where I lived with my husband and my kids, my girl and my boy—how else do you explain someone fucking up so completely, so enormously?

  That’s right—the truck that came to a stop outside the house (as I watched bubbles forming at the bottom of the pot of water I was heating) was full—it was packed with eaters. Don’t ask me how many. And no, I don’t know how they got in there. I’d never heard of anything like that before. Maybe the things were chasing someone who climbed into the back of the truck thinking the eaters wouldn’t be able to follow them and was wrong. Maybe the eaters started as a group of infected who were in the same state of denial as the driver and wanted to hide themselves until they recovered—which, of course, they didn’t. Maybe they didn’t jump into the truck all at the same time: maybe a few were in pursuit of a meal, a few more were looking to hide, and a few others thought they’d found a cool place to escape the sun. As the fever soared within him, his neck ached so bad swallowing became agony, his tongue swelled in his mouth, the driver must have let the truck slow to a stop over and over again, leaning his head on the steering wheel for whatever comfort its lukewarm plastic could provide. There would have been plenty of opportunities for eaters to hitch a ride with him.

  I don’t know what that man’s fate was, whether he died the moment he set the parking brake, or opened the door and stepped down from the cab to let his customers know their furniture had arrived, or if the eaters figured out the door handle and dragged him from his seat. But I hope they got to him first; I hope he found himself in the middle of a group of eaters and had consciousness left to understand what was about to happen to him. I hope—I pray; I get down on my knees and plead with God Almighty that those things ripped him apart while his heart was still beating. I hope they stripped the flesh from his arms and legs. I hope they jammed their fingers into him and rooted around for his organs. I hope they bit through his ears the way you do a tough piece of steak. I hope he suffered. I hope he felt pain like no one ever felt before. That’s why I spend so much time imagining him, so that his death can be as real—as vivid—to me as possible. I—

  The first bubbles had lifted themselves off the bottom of the pot and drifted up through the water to burst at the surface. On the radio, the report about the Special Forces in Mobile had ended, and the anchor was talking about sightings of eaters in places like Bangor, Carbondale, and Santa Cruz, which the local authorities were writing off as hysteria but at least some of which, the anchor said, there was disturbing evidence were true; in which case, they represented a new phase in what he called the Reanimation Crisis. From the living room, Brian yelped and said, “Scary!” which he did when something on the screen was too much for him; Robbie said, “It’s okay—Vi’s gonna get them out. Watch,” one of those grace notes your kids sound that makes you catch your breath, it’s so unexpected, so pure. There was a knock at the front door.

  It sounded like a knock. When I rewind it and play it again in my mind, it still sounds like a knock, no matter how I try to hear it otherwise. None of the descriptions of the eaters mentioned anything about knocking. Besides, I hadn’t heard anyone’s gun going off, which I fully expected would announce the arrival of eaters in our neck of the woods. Of course, this was because everyone was watching the treeline behind the houses; I realize how ridiculous it sounds, how unforgivably stupid, but it never occurred to any of us that the eaters might walk right up to our front doors and knock on them. Or—I don’t know—maybe we were aware of the possibility, but assumed there was no way a single eater, let alone a truckload of them, could appear in the middle of the street without someone noticing.

  I left the pot with the wisps of steam starting to curl off the water and walked down the front stairs to the door. At the top of the stairs, I thought it might be Ted home from work, but on the way down I decided it couldn’t be him, because he wouldn’t have bothered knocking, would he? It had to be a neighbor, probably the McDonald girls come to ask if Robbie wanted to go out and play with them. They were forever doing things like that, showing up five minutes before dinner and asking Robbie to play with them—which, the second she heard their voices, Robbie naturally was desperate to do. I tried to compromise, told Robbie she could go out for a little while after she was done with her food, or invited the McDonald girls to join us for dinner, but Robbie would insist she wasn’t hungry, or the McDonald girls would say they had already eaten, or were going to have pizza later, when their father brought it home. At which, Robbie would ask why we couldn’t have pizza, which Brian would hear and start chanting, “Piz-za! Piz-za! Piz-za!” Sometimes I let Robbie run out and kept a plate warm for her, let her eat with Ted and me when he got home, which she loved, being at the table with Mommy and Daddy and no little brother. Sometimes, though, I told the McDonald girls to return in half an hour, Roberta was sitting down to her dinner—and prepared myself for the inevitable storm of protests. I hadn’t made up my mind what my decision this time would be, but my stomach was clenching. I turned the lock, twisted the doorknob, and pulled the door open.

  They say that time slows down in moments of crisis; for some people, maybe it does. For me, swinging that door in was like hitting the fast-forward button on the DVD player, when the images on the screen advance so fast they appear as separate pictures. One moment, I’m standing with the door in my hand and a trio of eaters on the front step. They’re women, about my age. I think—the one nearest me is missing most of her face. Except for her right eye, which is cloudy and blue and looks as if it’s a glass eye that’s been scuffed, I’m staring at bare bone adorned with tatters and shreds of muscle and skin. Her mouth—her teeth part, and I have the absurd impression she’s about to speak to me.

  The next moment, I’m scrambling up the stairs backwards. I could leap them three at a time—I have in the past—but there’s no way I’m turning my back on the figures who have entered the house. The pair behind the faceless one don’t appear nearly as desiccated: their skin is blue-gray, and their faces show no expression, but compared to what’s raising her right foot to climb the stairs after me, they’re practically normal.

  The moment after that, I’m in the kitchen, one hand reaching for the handle of the pot of water, which hasn’t come to full boil yet. Behind me, I ca
n hear the stairs shifting under the eaters’ weight. I can smell them—God, everything I’ve heard about the way the things smell is true. I want to call to the kids, tell them to get in here with me, but it’s all I can do not to vomit.

  That second, the second my fingers are closing around the handle—that’s the one I return to. When I replay the three minutes it took my life to disintegrate, I focus on me in the kitchen. I can’t remember how I got there. I mean, I know how I went from the stairs to the kitchen, I don’t know why. Once I reached the top of the stairs, it would have been easy enough to haul myself to my feet and run into the living room, to Robbie and Brian. We could have—I could have shoved the couch out from the wall, used it to delay the eaters while we ran for the back door—or even around them, back down the stairs and out the front door, or into the downstairs rec room. We could have barricaded ourselves in the garage. We—instead, I ran for the kitchen. I realize I must have been thinking about a weapon; I must have been searching for something to defend myself—us with, and the pot on the stove must have been the first thing that occurred to me. This has to be what made me choose the kitchen, but I can’t remember it. All I have is me on the stairs, and then my fingers curling around that piece of metal.

  Which isn’t in my hand anymore; it’s lying on the kitchen floor, and Miss Skull-Face’s right eye has sagged downwards because the pot has collapsed her cheek where it struck it. The hot water doesn’t appear to have had any affect on her; although a couple of the pieces of flesh dangling from her face have fallen onto her blouse. She’s moving towards me fast, her hands outstretched, and I see that she’s missing two of the fingers on her left hand, the ring and pinkie, and I wonder if she lost them trying to prevent whoever it was from tearing off her face.

  The next thing, I’m on the floor, on my back, which is numb. My head is swimming. Across the kitchen tiles from me, Miss Skull-Face struggles to raise herself from her back. At the time, I don’t know what’s happened, but I realize now the eater’s rush carried us into the wall, stunning us both. The other eaters are nowhere to be seen.

  And then I’m on the other side of the kitchen island, which I’ve scooted around on my butt. I’m driving the heel of my left foot straight into the eater’s face, the shock of the impact traveling through the sole of my sneaker up my leg. I feel as much as hear the crunch of bone splintering. I’m as scared as I’ve ever been, but the sensation of the eater’s face breaking under my foot sends a rush of animal satisfaction through me. Although I’m intent on the web of cracks spreading out from the sudden depression where Miss Skull-Face’s nose and cheeks used to be, I’m aware that her companions are not in the kitchen.

  I must—if I haven’t before, I must understand that the other eaters have left Miss Skull-Face to deal with me and turned in search of easier—of the—I know I pull myself off the floor, and I’m pretty sure I kick the same spot on the eater’s face with the toe of my sneaker, because afterwards, it’s smeared with what I think are her brains. What I remember next is—

  (To the front, rear, left, and right of the theater, the air is full of screaming. At first, the sound is so loud, so piercing, that it’s difficult for anyone in the audience to do anything more than cover her or his ears. Mary raises her hands to either side of her head; it does not appear that the Stage Manager does, even as the screams climb the register from terror to pain. Muffled by skin and bone, the screams resolve themselves into a pair of voices. It is hard to believe that such noises could issue from the throats of anything human; they seem more like the shrieks of an animal being vivisected. As they continue for four, five, six seconds—an amount of time that, under other circumstances, would pass almost without notice but that, with the air vibrating like a plucked guitar string, stretches into hours—it becomes possible to distinguish the screams as a single word tortured to the edge of intelligibility, made the vessel for unbearable pain: “Mommy.”

  (The screaming stops—cut off. Mary removes her hands from her ears hesitantly, as if afraid her children’s screams might start again.)

  Mary: That’s—there are—they—there are some—I don’t—there are some things a mother shouldn’t have to see, all right? My parents—I—when I was growing up, our next door neighbors’ oldest son died of leukemia, and my mother said, “No parent should outlive their children.” Which is true. I used to think it was the worst thing that could happen to you as a parent, especially of small children. But I was wrong—I was—they—oh, they had them in their teeth—

  (Now Mary screams; head thrown back, eyes closed, hands clutching her shirt, she opens her mouth and pours forth a wail of utter loss. When her scream subsides to a low moan, her head drops forward. She brings her hands to her head, runs one over it while the other winds one of the long strands of her hair around itself.

  (From the front of the theater, Mary’s voice speaks, but from the echoey quality of the words, it’s clear this is a recording.)

  Mary’s Voice: That second, the second my fingers are closing around the handle—that’s the one I return to. When I replay the three minutes it took my life to disintegrate, I focus on me in the kitchen. I can’t remember how I got there. I mean, I know how I went from the stairs to the kitchen, I don’t know why. Once I reached the top of the stairs, it would have been easy enough to haul myself to my feet and run into the living room, to Robbie and Brian. We could have—Robbie and Brian. I didn’t want to expose them to something like that. A parent—a mother isn’t supposed to—that’s not your job. Your job—your duty, your sacred duty, is to protect those children, to keep them safe no matter what—we—instead, I ran for the kitchen. I realize I must have been thinking about a weapon; I must have been searching for something to defend myself—us with, and the pot on the stove must have been the first thing that occurred to me. This has to be what made me choose the kitchen, but I can’t remember it. You have to protect them, no matter—

  (The recording stops. The spotlight snaps off, and Mary is gone, lost to the darkness.

  (Slowly, the Stage Manager comes to his feet. Once he is up, he looks away from the audience, towards the willow behind him. He takes a deep breath before turning towards the audience again.)

  Stage Manager: Here’s the problem. When you sign up for this job—when you’re cast in the part, if you like—you’re told your duties will be simple and few. Keep an eye on things. Not that there’s much you can do—not that there’s anything you can do, really—but there isn’t much that needs doing, truth to tell. Most of the business of day-to-day existence takes care of itself, runs ahead on the same tracks its used for as long as there’ve been people. Good things occur—too few, I suppose most would say—and bad things, as well—which those same folks would count too numerous, I know—but even the very worst things happen now as I’m afraid they always have. Oh, sure, could be you can give a little nudge here or there, try to make sure this person won’t be at work on a June morning that’ll be full of gunfire, or steer the cop in the direction of that house she’s had a nagging suspicion about, but mostly, you’re there to watch it all take place.

  Then something like this—then this, these zombies, folk getting up who should be lying down—it overtakes you, sweeps across the world and your part of it like—like I don’t know what, something I don’t have words for. You do the best you can—what you can, which mostly consists of putting on a brave face and not turning your eyes away from whatever horror’s in front of you; although there may be opportunities for more direct action.

  (Through his jacket, the Stage Manager pats his gun.)

  Stage Manager: You try to maintain some semblance of a sense of humor, which is not always as hard as maybe it should be. There’s something to the old saw about horror and humor being flip sides of the same coin. An idiot takes his arm off with his chainsaw trying to play hero—I grant you it’s pretty grim fodder for laughs, but you make do with what’s to hand—so to speak.

  A situation like this, though, like this poor wom
an and her children—those children—I know what she saw when she ran into that living room. I know what that is on her shirt, and how it got there. I can’t—I don’t have the faintest idea what I’m supposed to do with that knowledge. I could tell you, I suppose, but to what end? You know what those things—those eaters, that’s not a bad word, is it?—you know what they did to that little girl and that little boy. There’s no need for the specifics. Maybe you’d rather hear about the scene that greeted Mary when she fled her house in horror, or maybe you’ve guessed that, too: her neighbors’ houses overrun, pretty much without a single shot being fired.

  This is the beginning of the second phase of the zombie trouble—what did that newscaster call it? The Reanimation Crisis? From something people were watching on their TVs, or seeing outside the windows of their trains, zombies become something that’s waiting for you when you go to get in your car, that clatters around your garage, that thumps on your door. Situation like this, where folks have known the world’s going to hell and been preparing themselves for it—which mostly means emptying their bank accounts accumulating as many guns as Wal-Mart’ll sell them—you’d expect that all that planning would count for something, that those zombies never would have made it up Mary’s front walk, that one or the other of her neighbors would have noticed what was tumbling out the back of that delivery truck and started shooting. There’d be a lot of noise, a lot of mess, possibly a close call or two, but everything would turn out well in the end. Mary would be home with her kids, her neighbors would be patting themselves on the backs with a certain amount of justifiable pride, and at least one zombie outbreak would have been contained. Instead, Mary’s the only one to escape alive, which she accomplishes by running screaming out of her house, up the street and out onto Route 376, where she’s struck by a red pickup truck driven by an eighteen-year-old girl who received it as a birthday present from her parents last month.