by Izzy Shows
What was wrong?
Had something happened?
Did he know I was hunting?
Oh, God, was that what had happened?
Was he taking me to my death? I couldn’t bear it if he was silently leading me to my execution. It would have been better if he’d arrived with an army of guards to loudly arrest me and drag me away screaming.
But that wasn’t the way of the vampires. It was a political world, or so he kept reminding me, and they’d want to handle something like this—the King’s thrall being the killer they’d been hunting for—as quietly as possible.
I gulped down air, fighting to remain calm.
It wouldn’t do for both of us to be so agitated.
Finally, we arrived at the suite, and his demeanor changed yet again. I doubted anyone else would have been able to tell—not the change in the hallway, and not in the one here in the suite—but I’d gotten to know him by now.
I knew the little quirks that gave him away: the way he clenched his jaw, the little muscle that pulsed there. The ‘V’ that formed in his forehead. The way he held himself, even the change in his step.
These were all such little things, but I paid attention.
I tried to tell myself it was because he was my enemy, and it was smart to know your enemy’s tells, but I knew deep inside that it was more than that.
I couldn’t take my eyes away from him whenever he was in the room, no matter how hard I tried.
I took a seat on the chaise longue and bit my lip, gazing down at my fingers. My hands were clasped tightly together, the only other giveaway that I was feeling some of the tension that was emanating from him in waves.
If I could be truthful with anyone, it was myself. I was feeling guilty. I was no longer concerned that this was my execution—unless he was going to bleed me dry here in this room—but I was still guilty.
Things were settling down, and soon I’d be sneaking out to tell Conall that my position in the castle was secure. I wouldn’t mention the hunting, and hopefully he wouldn’t have heard of the mysterious deaths. But it was obvious now that nothing was going to happen to me. I was the King’s thrall, and I had a handle on the other thralls.
Whatever Conall was planning, it was time to take the next step.
That knowledge carved through me worse than any blade ever could.
I refused to acknowledge the why of it, though. I remained in my seat, waiting for Grayson to talk.
He was pacing the room now, stalking across it like a caged lion, but I knew all I had to do was outwait him.
Sooner or later, he’d get to whatever it was that he wanted to say.
I just had to keep myself from giving in and saying anything to break the tense silence between us.
In that moment, I would have given anything to have it be over, to go back to the gentle smiles and confusing looks he gave me.
At last, he turned to me.
24
Grayson
She was going to be the death of me.
Even now, even when my world was teetering on a knife’s edge, and I’d never known more stress—even now, all I wanted to do was take her in my arms and lose myself in her. I knew that one taste of her lips would provide me the refuge I sought, and once I’d had my fill of her...
Somehow, I doubted that was possible.
I was addicted to her, and yet I’d never tasted her. I had no doubt that once I did, I’d be lost.
And yet the stress kept beating at me, a constant current underneath the desire she provoked in me.
All I wanted to do—no, needed to do—was open up to her and tell her everything that was going on. Share the burden with her, have someone else who would understand what I was going through.
But why her? Why did I want to share everything with her?
I hadn’t even enthralled her. I couldn’t trust her with anything.
That’s not true. She wouldn’t tell a soul.
I believed that with every fiber of my being, but the rules of my world caged me. Even if I enthralled her, I wouldn’t be able to trust her with this information. I’d know what she was feeling and where she was, but I wouldn’t be privy to her every thought. I wouldn’t know if she told someone.
She wouldn’t.
Blasted demon, stop haunting me.
I couldn’t trust her.
Everyone kept saying she was a distraction, but they didn’t understand.
They didn’t understand that somehow her presence both calmed and ignited me at the same time. Every moment I was with her, I wanted her; every moment I was without her, I wanted to rip someone’s head off.
Maybe if I enthralled her, that constant need to tear through the castle to get back to her would go away.
Those thoughts kept running through my mind, taunting me with their conflicting natures, leaving me without a word to say. I could only stare down at her.
She fidgeted before my eyes, brushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear, glancing up at me and then back down at her hands. She was waiting for me to talk, I knew that, but I didn’t know what to say.
Why had I brought her here?
Why had I gone to her and asked for her presence?
You were going crazy. You almost screamed at someone. You needed her.
How ludicrous was that? I shouldn’t need her so much. It was unreasonable that a simple thrall would have so much power over me.
And yet she wasn’t simple in the slightest. She was an enigma I had yet to figure out, a temptress who haunted me. She was smarter than anyone I’d ever met, and she had a brazen tongue that somehow managed to give me the dressing down of a lifetime in private, yet be perfectly well-behaved in public.
She was perfection.
And I couldn’t have her.
At last, she reached her breaking point, apparently unable to sit in my unrelenting gaze any longer.
I couldn’t blame her. It was impressive that she’d lasted so long. If only I’d been able to come up with something to say, damn it.
She crossed the room to the large window opposite the chaise longue and turned her face up to gaze out at the night sky.
“It’s a beautiful night,” she said, breaking the silence that had haunted us since we’d entered the room. Then she sighed. “I wish I was outside. I wish I could feel the breeze on my face again.”
She yearned for the outside?
My heart sped up.
Was it possible that she felt the call of freedom like I did?
No, that was ludicrous. She simply meant that she’d like to take a stroll. No one but Alex understood the all-consuming need I felt to run free through the night.
I walked up behind her, so close that we were almost touching, and inhaled deeply to take in her scent.
Spice. Something familiar and yet foreign to me at the same time. Tantalizing. Begging me to taste her.
What was that underlying current, though? I frowned, trying to figure it out.
Trying to figure her out, just like always.
Why did she have to present such a puzzle? Why couldn’t she be as simple as all the other women before her had been?
As if of their own accord, my hands moved forward to rest on the windowsill, surrounding her.
Caging her.
She was the wild animal I yearned to tame, to make my own.
And yet, I wanted to set her free. I wanted to watch her laugh with carefree abandon, to run with her through the night and know that she felt the call in her blood the same as I did.
The conflicting emotions took hold of me, but the one that reigned supreme was my desperate need for her.
The need to taste her, to touch her, to know that she was mine and no one else’s.
The need to claim her.
I tilted my head so that my lips brushed against her hair, stealing a taste of the scent that taunted me.
Her breath caught, and I heard her heart speed up.
“Do you want me to move?” I murmured, surprised by the deep, husky not
e in my voice.
“N-no,” she said, her breath coming quickly now.
The beast inside of me roared its approval, demanding that I claim her now.
Settle, I warned myself, but it did no good. My blood was pounding in my veins, and yet I knew that just one taste of her would somehow settle the crushing need inside me and set me aflame simultaneously.
Just one taste.
I lowered my head so that the skin of her neck was mere inches from my lips, fanning my breath out to brush against her skin. I felt my incisors sharpen, dropping from my gums, eager for a taste of her.
“Do you want me to stop?” I asked her again.
It had to be on her terms. Always on her terms, no matter that the beast inside of me was raging at me for hesitating like this.
It didn’t understand that it simply was unacceptable for me to behave in any other fashion.
I might live in a world of control, of politics and careful steps, but inside me was a beast that had no regard for these rules and cared only for the taste of blood in its mouth – and, for some reason, this woman’s flesh against my own.
Taking in another breath of her scent, I closed my eyes, focusing on the temptation she provided and trying to calm myself at the same time.
It felt like ages passed, and still she didn’t answer me. Her heart was hammering loudly, and her breath was coming in short pants, and again I had to wonder what caused this reaction in her.
Fear or desire? Which was it?
I had to know.
The question was on my lips, burning inside of me, but I clenched my jaw to hold it back. No matter how badly I needed to know, I could never ask her.
I couldn’t open myself up to her rejection like that, cowardly though it was.
As long as I didn’t ask, it remained something to puzzle over. The moment I had her answer, I knew she would devastate me.
My body twitched with the desire to shift my weight and wrap my arms around her, spin her around so she was facing me, and claim her lips with my own. I fought against it, fought the beast inside, and prevailed.
Barely.
“Yes,” she whispered at last.
The beast inside me roared.
Taking in a ragged breath, I stepped away from her and walked away.
Away from the temptation, away from her.
I kept walking until I was out of the suite, while I still had control of myself. I shut the door behind me and leaned against it for a moment, tilting my head back so that it pressed against the door.
This woman would be the death of me.
25
Nina
Sunrise came, and I didn’t go to bed.
Emotions were warring within me that I couldn’t give a name to, didn’t dare to give a name to. My mind was all mixed up, and I didn’t know what to do with myself.
How could he do that to me?
Torture me like that, stand so close to me that I could feel the vibrations in the air between us, feel the heat of his skin so close to my own and yet so painfully far away.
I’d never wanted to touch someone—never—until I met him.
Damn my body for wanting him, and damn my mind for being so fucking confused.
This shouldn’t be confusing. It should be simple.
Logic dictated that I was a twenty-three-year-old woman, and I had needs. Needs that had never been satisfied. Obviously, the presence of a man as beautiful as he would awaken that need within me. Of course I’d want him. Of course he’d drive me mad with desire.
It was just an animalistic reaction.
My mind should know better, but it was just as mixed up as my body was.
Would it be so bad to give in? To taste him?
I closed my eyes for a moment, sitting on the bed, imagining the feeling of his body pressed against mine, his thighs caging my own, his hands gripping my back, and his lips on my skin again.
I knew what it felt like. He’d held me once before, on the rooftop a few years back. I knew what it was like to have his lips feather kisses against my skin, igniting a heat within me that I’d never known.
A moan escaped me, and I quickly covered my mouth, my eyes popping open in horror.
Had he heard me?
My chest rose and fell rapidly, panic and excitement springing to life for a moment as I waited to see.
If he’d heard me, he’d come in to see if I was all right. He wouldn’t have known what the sound was, or what had inspired it. He’d just come to see if I was OK.
He’d find me here, on the bed, wearing one of the practically transparent nightgowns they’d given us thralls, and how would he react?
My gut clenched at the thought of it, and I felt hollow inside.
My heart hammered against my ribcage, but no sound came from the outer chamber.
His door didn’t open, his heavy footfalls didn’t cross the room, and he didn’t come to see me.
I should be relieved that I could get on with this stolen time, but I felt a twinge of disappointment.
Ruthlessly, I shoved it aside, refusing to dissect that feeling. Refusing to find out where it had come from and determine exactly why it existed in the first place.
It was entirely unacceptable, and it frightened me.
I stood up, fists clenched at my sides, and threw a rebellious glare at the door.
Damn him for the feelings he brought to life inside of me.
The childish urge to stomp around sprang up, but I squashed it with a roll of my eyes.
Instead, I knelt and pulled my gear out from under the bed, then stripped off my nightgown. I quickly clothed myself in the hunter’s garb, wrapped the red silk around my wrist, and covered my face.
I darted a look at the mirror opposite my bed, smiling, though I couldn’t see it. I looked like myself again.
The day was mine. The vampires wouldn’t catch me.
I slipped from the sleeping chamber and crept to the window I’d stood in front of a few hours earlier.
The memory of Gray standing behind me threatened to take over my mind, but I pushed it aside.
Not now. I couldn’t think about him now.
If I did, the guilt would come, and I couldn’t handle that.
A thrall had been hurt, and it was my job to keep them safe. To avenge them.
I’d destroy the vampire who had touched her, and the thralls would know they had a protector.
Though I doubted they’d be any more appreciative of what I was doing than the humans who walked the night. They feared the hunters as much as the vampires, for some ridiculous reason.
I lifted the window as quietly as possible, keeping my eyes and ears trained on Gray’s chamber door the entire time.
I heard the rustle of sheets and froze.
No.
He couldn’t catch me here. I couldn’t let that happen.
But I wouldn’t reach for his mind. The idea of bending him to my will was physically repulsive to me, and I felt my stomach roil at the thought of it.
It wasn’t that I was afraid of the magic in and of itself. I’d become rather adept at it since I’d come to live with the vampires. I’d never bend the mind of a wolf, but I had no respect for the vampires.
It had been a necessity to walk the halls during the day now that the guards peppered the castle.
I had to bend their minds so they’d look the other way while I stalked past them and control my scent so they wouldn’t detect me.
It was difficult magic, but it was a thrill to have a challenge.
It wasn’t magic I’d ever work on Gray. That would be a betrayal on a level I wasn’t willing to contemplate—nor was I willing to think too hard about why it was a betrayal.
No, no time to think about that.
Not another sound came from the room, and I pushed the window up a little more.
Clear. There was enough room for me to get out.
I crawled out the window, balanced on the edge and clung to the bit of wood that topped the wind
ow.
This was going to be difficult, but it was a bit safer than walking the halls with the guards.
Bending their minds was exhausting magic, and I didn’t want to do it if I could avoid it.
This was a new idea, and if it worked, I’d be better able to traverse the castle.
There was a balcony just below me. I let myself go, holding my breath as I fell through the air for a moment.
It was terrifying and thrilling all at once, and I reveled in the moment while I had it.
Then I landed in a crouch, absorbing the shock to my muscles and repairing them just as quickly as I’d injured them.
No time to deal with that.
I leapt from balcony to balcony, traversing the outside of the castle much faster than I would have the inside. It didn’t take me long to reach the window that led to the hall containing the rooms for the lesser vampires.
No plan was foolproof—I’d have to face the guards at last, but I’d minimized the risk of exposure as best I could.
I scaled the wall, hanging just beneath the window that would take me inside, and reached out my awareness.
One guard.
That wasn’t so bad. Clearly, they didn’t care about these vampires as much as they did about the nobles—or Gray. Gray had three guards, two standing point outside his door and one at the end of the hall.
It was much more difficult to get out of his suite than it was any of the others.
I reached for the guard’s mind.
Go for a walk.
I pushed the compulsion into his head, squashing the confusion that erupted to the surface as soon as I sent the thought. There was a minor battle of wills, but I bent him to my power quickly enough.
Before I pushed him down the hallway, I made sure to remove the memory of the confusion he’d felt.
No need to make anyone worry that a blood mage was on the loose.
A hunter was one thing. A blood mage was a whole different beast.
If they knew I existed, terror would claim their world, and there would be anarchy.
As tempting a thought as that was, I knew how bad it would be overall.
The feeling of the guard’s presence diminished as he went farther and farther away, until I couldn’t feel him at all.