by Izzy Shows
Panic seized me. I sat down, hard, on one of the chairs and bent over, gripping my head.
This couldn’t be happening.
He walked around his desk and stood in front of me, then reached down a hand to grasp my chin and tilt my head so I was forced to look up at him.
“Did you not hear me? I said, get out of here.”
Oh, God.
34
Grayson
Paperwork was staring back at me, but I couldn’t make sense of it.
This was my job, my duty, and I knew I should take it seriously.
It had been three days since I’d put Nina in the pit, and I was quite certain I was starting to lose my mind.
I closed my eyes, pinched the bridge of my nose, and took a deep breath.
There had to be a way to get myself to focus, but I couldn’t seem to do it.
Three days, and the pain hadn’t abated, the rage hadn’t dimmed, and I still wasn’t myself.
My nights had been haunted by her face, her eyes brimming with tears, and her soft pleas for me to pardon her.
Monster.
The accusation was for me, not her.
I’d thrown her back into the cells she’d lived in for most of her life, and I still had no idea what that would do to her. It couldn’t be good, I knew that, but the ramifications remained to be seen.
Oh, certainly, I could walk down there and find out.
But I knew that one look at her face, dirty and streaked with tears, would break my heart all over again and I’d have no recourse but to take her from the prison I’d put her in.
That was what I wanted to do.
Or at least, half of me did.
The other half wanted very much to kill her for what she’d done.
Not really for the murders. Those were bad, yes, but it was the pain in my heart that made me want to hurt her as she’d done to me. She’d broken me, ruined me, and I wanted her to feel that pain.
Yet I hated that I was the source of her pain now.
All I’d ever wanted was to hold her in my arms and teach her about the pleasure I could give her, to see her face aglow with light and laughter, to know that she was mine.
That would never happen now. She’d made sure of that.
She’d ruined whatever future we might have had together, but I’d put the last nail in the coffin.
I knew that even if I let her out now, she’d never forgive me for putting her in there in the first place.
And that was good, because if I could get past the hatred and venom in my veins, I still wouldn’t deserve her.
I leaned back in my chair and let my mind drift to the fantasies I’d once had.
Nina, curled up in my bed, turned to look at me with the remnants of sleep in her eyes.
“Were you watching me sleep again?”
“Is it my fault you look like an angel while you sleep?”
She made a soft noise and grinned at me. “Shush, you.”
I pulled her into my arms and buried my face in her long, silky hair. She squealed and wriggled but ultimately settled back against me with a soft sigh of contentment.
“How did you sleep?”
“Well enough,” I murmured, inhaling her scent.
I’d never be able to get enough of her, no matter how much time I spent with her. She’d gotten under my skin, and I couldn’t ever dream of letting her out.
She twisted in my arms until she was facing me, placing a hand on my cheek.
“Ready to start the day?”
“Absolutely not,” I said with a smirk. “I have no intention of leaving this bed, and you’re not allowed to, either.”
“Oh. Is that a royal decree, then?”
“It is.” My voice was solemn for all of a moment before a smile cracked across my face.
She laughed at me, and I couldn’t help but join in, the sound was so contagious.
“Well, I must listen to my King.”
“Mmm, I like the sound of that.”
I pulled her to me, captured her lips with my own, and feasted on the taste of her.
She was exquisite, a luxury that I’d always indulge in, and she tasted like heaven.
Our tongues dueled for a while before I took her lower lip between my teeth, then nibbled and sucked at it until I elicited a moan from her.
“Gray...”
The sound of my name on her lips was more than I could bear, and with a growl I dumped her on her back, pinning her to the bed.
“Hurry.”
“Oh, I have every intention of savoring this,” I replied.
She shook her head. “No, I can’t wait, please.”
“Your torture will be long and slow, my pet.”
She whimpered. I bent my head…
“My Lord!”
A sharp voice jerked me out of the fantasy world I’d allowed myself to slip into, and I sat upright with a jolt.
Someone was hammering at my door like they wanted to beat it to splinters.
What in God’s name was going on?
I walked to the door and yanked it open with a scowl.
“What’s gotten into you?” I snapped at the young man in front of me, who looked like he’d just seen death incarnate.
“It’s the blood mage, sire—she’s escaped.”
I felt all the blood drain from my face as I absorbed what he’d just said.
Nina was gone.
She’d left me.
Pain lanced through me all over again, somehow worse this time, and my chest felt constricted.
I couldn’t breathe.
She was gone.
Without thinking, I slammed a fist into the wall, letting out a howl of rage.
The man flinched and backed away from me.
Good. Let them all fear me.
I’d show the world what a King looked like.
No longer would I be the peaceful King I’d strived to be—now, they would know the real me. The bringer of death.
A man who ruled with an iron fist.
Nina had taken what kindness I had within me and run away with it. The pain the world would feel would be on her shoulders from now on.
But by God, I would hunt her to the ends of the Earth.
She wouldn’t get away from me this time.
I started for the door—and then the alarms began, splitting through the castle and shrieking in my ears.
The castle had been breached.
35
Nina
My life was over.
I stood on the street in front of the compound, taking in deep breaths as I sorted through my thoughts.
This was the end for me.
There was no way I’d survive on the streets. The vampires would eat me alive the second they found me. I might be able to avoid them for a night, maybe two, but I wouldn’t be able to keep that up.
No one survived on the street.
I made up my mind and nodded in determination. I wasn’t going to wait around for the vampires to find and cage me.
I only had one option—to somehow convince Gray to let me live.
He’d wanted me once. I could make him want me again.
Not with my magic; I’d never do that to him.
No matter what he’d done to me—no matter that that bastard had done the worst possible thing and thrown me into a fucking cage like I was a common animal...
I took a deep breath to steady myself. No, we weren’t going down that road again.
No matter what he’d done, he didn’t deserve to have his mind messed with.
I wasn’t going to do that to him, but there had to be something I could do to make him see me in the same light again.
OK, maybe not the same light, but a similar one. One where he knew what I was but chose to keep me anyway.
There had to be a way to do it, and damn it, I was going to figure it out.
He was the King; he could do whatever he wanted. If I could make him want me again, he could force the other vampires to put up w
ith me.
Yeah. I could do this.
I walked away from the compound with slow steps, my hands clenched at my sides to keep them from trembling.
This was going to be hell, I knew, but I didn’t see any other option.
Gray might kill me the moment he laid eyes on me; that was a distinct possibility. There was no way the vampires didn’t know about my escape by now. Night had fallen, and they had to be moving around again.
One of the guards I’d touched would have figured out by now that something was wrong, would have worked it over and over in his head until he realized what must have happened. Gray would have alerted everyone to what I was, and the knee-jerk reaction to anything confusing would be that the blood mage had done it.
In this instance, that knee-jerk reaction would be right.
They’d go down to the pit, find that I wasn’t there, and then tell Gray.
He was going to kill me for running away again.
I didn’t know what they’d plan to do with me—really, I’d expected to be executed sooner—but I was grateful that I’d been given what time I had, because it had allowed me to find the strength in myself to get out.
But now, getting out had turned out to be the worst possible thing I could have done. Conall didn’t want me anymore, and Gray was going to see it as yet another betrayal...
I flinched, remembering the look on his face when he’d processed what I was. It had gone from pure hatred to so much pain that I didn’t know what to do with myself. I’d wanted to run to him and throw my arms around him, stroke his face, rain kisses down on him, anything to make that pain go away.
But I’d known—I was the source of that pain.
Nothing I could ever do would take that pain away, though, damn it, I was going to try.
I had to try. There was no hope if I didn’t try.
I stepped on a broken bottle and stumbled backwards, gasping. I hadn’t been paying attention, and now my foot was bleeding all over the place.
If any vampires were out, they’d find me even more quickly now.
Did that matter, though? I was going back to the castle one way or another. I doubted it would matter much whether I turned myself in or was brought in by the vampires.
Well, it might matter a bit.
Gray might be a little more forgiving if I turned myself in.
All I wanted was to see that warmth in his eyes again, feel the sense of safety that he always brought with him, and know that everything was going to be OK.
Nothing would ever be OK again. I knew that.
I’d ruined everything, just by existing.
It wasn’t like this could have turned out any differently, and it wasn’t like I’d wanted to stay, right?
I was never going to stay in the castle with the vampires, even if it hadn’t felt so bad after a while. I’d weeded out the bad vampires, the thralls had been so welcoming, and the other vampires had taken to me like moths to a flame.
They’d loved me.
I was startled when I thought about that.
Now, they all had to know what I really was. They’d hate me just for existing.
Just like you hated them.
The voice inside my mind cut through my thoughts, and I soured.
I still hated them, didn’t I?
Of course I did. Vampires were a disgusting breed of predators who didn’t care about the people they hurt.
There was no such thing as a good vampire.
Even Gray had proven himself. He didn’t care about me, not really. This had all been a game for him.
Someone who cared about me, really cared about me, wouldn’t have been able to act like that.
You couldn’t put someone you cared about in a cage and throw away the key.
He probably hated me too, come to think of it.
I’d seen the venom in his eyes, the hatred that lay there.
But then he’d shown me the broken side of himself, as if I’d actually hurt him.
How do you hurt someone when they didn’t care about you to begin with?
I shook my head, trying to make sense of things but coming up empty.
None of this made sense, and it probably never would. That was just the way things played out.
I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t realized how far I’d walked. I was halfway through the woods to the castle now.
Looking around, I blinked, a little disconcerted.
The woods were empty, when I would have thought they’d be crawling with a search team.
I slowed to a gentle walk as I continued through the woods, not quite ready to be back at the castle. It was my only option, but that didn’t mean I was looking forward to the ‘welcome’ I’d receive when I arrived.
I let my imagination run wild as to what they’d do with me after they caught sight of me.
I imagined chains would be the first thing. No, wait, they’d have to go and get the chains first. So, they’d probably begin with what, tackling me to the ground? Hm… I’d definitely be grabbed, and then someone would probably go and fetch one of the iron collars.
I had no idea how that would affect me now. I hadn’t been aware of my magic when I was first collared as a child, but now that I’d lived with a collar, had felt it become almost a piece of me...
What would it feel like to have that stolen away?
I shuddered. I didn’t want to find out.
I frowned as I continued to think about it, until at last I had to shove the thoughts away. They were too horrible. They made me feel things I wasn’t ready to acknowledge. Not yet.
I’d deal with it when the time came—which would be in just a few minutes now, if I had my bearings right.
The rest of the walk continued without incident. I still didn’t see hide nor hair of a vampire in the woods, when they really should have been out hunting me.
What was up with that?
I shook my head. I’d find out soon.
At last, I broke through the tree line and caught sight of the castle—and the battle raging in front of it.
My breath caught in my throat as I took it all in.
There were hundreds of creatures like the one I’d torn in two the other night, and they were decimating the vampires. It was a ten-to-one fight, and the vampires didn’t stand a chance.
I didn’t hesitate. I raced forward and joined the fray.
I called on my magic, filling my body with it, and then sent it snaking out into the midst of the battle, seeking out the creatures that should have never been born.
It wasn’t hard to find them and separate them in my mind from the vampires. They were all monsters, but there was something distinctly wrong with the biorhythm of the creatures.
Something wrong, and yet familiar.
Because I’d touched one before?
No, it was more than that. It was...
I didn’t have time to think about that. All I could do was focus on the battle at hand.
I tore down creature after creature, rending them in two, boiling their blood, until my breath came hot and fast and sweat was pouring down my back.
I stumbled to the side, bumping into one of the vampires, and as if by reflex, he reached out and steadied me.
Wide eyes met mine. “Nina?”
It was Alex.
“Hey,” I said, my voice soft and cautious. Now wasn’t the time for a reunion, or a fight, but I couldn’t help but want to see how he’d react to me.
“What are you doing here?”
Before I could answer, one of the creatures launched itself at us. Alex swung wide, claws having replaced his fingernails, and slashed at the monster.
Without hesitation, I threw my magic at the beast, narrowing my eyes as I visualized its blood boiling.
With a howl, it fell to its knees—were those knees? They were bent wrong—and tore into its own skin in an attempt to extinguish the fire raging within.
My heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest, but I k
ept up the spell, chanting so fast that it was a miracle I didn’t stumble.
“Holy shit,” Alex said when the beast was dead.
I whirled to face him. “What?”
“You’re...you’re just...shit.”
Fear tightened my chest for a moment before I recognized the emotion in his normally guarded eyes.
Admiration.
A corner of my lips turned up. “You think so?”
“I’ve never seen someone do anything like that. I’m glad you’re playing for our team.” He grinned at me.
Now a full smile stretched across my face. “Yeah. Me, too.”
And I was. I was glad to be batting for the vampire team, at least at the moment, because it meant protecting Gray. Somewhere in this fight, he was a part of things. I could sense him nearby, which meant he was alive.
Alive and being an idiot, most likely.
There’d be time later on to sort out what he’d done to me, but we wouldn’t have that time if he didn’t make it out of this alive.
“Where’s your boy?” I asked.
Alex’s expression dimmed. “I lost track of him a while ago.”
“Find him and keep him safe.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he said. “Glad to see your priorities are still in line.” And then he turned and loped off to find Gray, deftly dodging blows as he went.
With a deep breath, I steadied myself and focused on the task at hand: destroying these creatures.
I had to handle the fight on my own, because the vampires didn’t stand a chance without me. I could see that now. They needed me in a way that no one had ever needed me before, and if I was honest with myself, I’d admit that I took a certain pleasure in being needed.
It was nice.
One of the creatures leapt at me. I lifted my hands, palms out, chanting. The creature froze in midair for a moment before I flung my hands to the side, sending the creature crashing to the ground in the direction my hands had gone.
I stalked over to the creature and planted a foot on its chest as I clenched one hand into a fist.
It gasped, clawing at its chest.
“Traitor,” it said, more of a gasping sound than anything, before it lost the ability to speak.
I’d restricted its heart so it wouldn’t beat again, taking away the life-giving blood running through the creature.