by Sumida,Amy
“Are we really?” his grin went mischievous. “Cousins, that is.”
“No, I don't think so. Not in the way you're implying.”
“Good,” he pulled me back against his chest, and kissed me lightly on the lips. “Because cousins shouldn't do that.”
“Oh, thanks a lot,” I grumbled, and pushed him away as he laughed. “Now rumors will be flying about us, and my husbands are going to be spitting mad. I'll have to work overtime at making them happy tonight.”
“Both? At the same time?” he lifted his brows. “That's a lot of happiness. Mind if I watch?”
“You, High Prince Lugh, are a horndog,” I accused with a pointed finger.
“Guilty as charged,” he held his arms out like he couldn't help it, he was just born that way. “Now, who shall I make happy tonight?”
I shook my head, and made my way back to my own happiness. I wasn't about to get involved in that decision. Lugh was on his own.
Chapter Twenty-Four
We dropped Kirill off at the Great Tree on the way back to Castle Aithinne.
“Meet me at home in Hawaii,” he whispered in my ear as I kissed him goodbye.
“Hawaii?” I pulled back in surprise.
“I vant some time alone vith you,” he said with a grim countenance. “Just in case.”
“I thought you were confident in my ability to save you?” I felt fear start to flutter in my chest. If Kirill was afraid, I couldn't help but join him.
“I am,” he reassured me with a hand to my cheek. “Zis is just in case. Please, Tima.”
“Of course,” I said immediately. When Kirill said “please”, my knees went wobbly, and the word no left my vocabulary completely. “Give me a couple hours to get back to Aithinne with Arach, and get the boys settled in their beds. Then I'll use the ring to take me over.”
“That'll give me time to air out house,” Kirill nodded and then kissed my cheek. “But hurry.”
“I will,” I promised, and headed back to the waiting carriage.
Arach was tense and quiet for a few minutes after I returned to the carriage. We each held one of the boys, but they were both sleeping. The High Queen had worn them out. Not to mention all of the other faeries who wanted to have a turn at holding the fire princes. So when Arach finally spoke, he did so in the hushed tones a father uses around his sleeping children.
“I do not want you in that war, Vervain.”
“I don't want to be in it either,” I said, completely flummoxed by the conversation. “What would make you think I would?”
“Lugh told me what he asked of you,” Arach rolled his eyes, “in between dancing with every faerie female he could get his hands on.”
“He was trying to forget all he's lost by immersing himself in what Faerie has to offer,” I shrugged.
“Regardless,” Arach shook his head. “I know he asked you to help the Tuatha, and I don't want you involved. They're trouble. Every story I've heard involving them, ends in bloodshed.”
“That should appeal to you, Dragon King,” I teased him.
“Not when it would involve my wife without me,” he narrowed his eyes on me. “Do not allow Nuada to sway you. I know he will try.”
“I promised Lugh I would do everything I could to help them,” I shook my head when Arach started to get angry. “Everything short of joining the war.”
“Fine,” he said stiffly.
“Don't fine me,” I growled. “I'm doing the best I can, Arach.”
“And so am I, Vervain,” he snapped. “Do you know how difficult it is to watch you leave, never knowing how long you're really going to be away from me or what you'll do in that time? Do you know how it feels to know precisely how I will react to your death, should it ever happen? How it feels to have that hanging over my head?” He looked down at our sons, “I can't become that man again.”
“You won't,” I said gently. “You wouldn't let yourself. Not with them to think about,” I nodded to our babies.
“We had children in that future too, A Thaisce,” he took a deep breath. “And I watched one die, then abandoned the other.”
“That was a different you,” I shook my head. “A you who will never exist.”
“Not as long as you live,” he agreed. “But if you die, I have no doubt that I will follow that version of myself into darkness. I cannot bear to lose you. To lose this,” he waved a hand from Rian, to Brevyn, to me.
“I know,” I sighed. “We've talked about this, Arach. I try to be as careful as possible, but I can't stop being who I am.”
“I'm not asking you to stop being you,” he bared his teeth in frustration. “I want you to grow, to mature into a mother. All women give up things for their children. I don't think I'm asking a lot for you to stop godhunting.”
“But you are,” I said slowly. “When we talked about having children, I agreed under the condition that it wouldn't affect what I did in the God Realm. And you said it wouldn't. You said that with the Ring of Remembrance, I could live two separate lives.”
“I know what I said,” he snapped, and Rian twitched in his sleep. Arach took a deep breath to calm himself, and sent his stare towards the ceiling. When he finally lowered his gaze, it was still angry, but it wasn't deadly. “I know what I said, but things change. Don't you feel different when you look at them? Don't you want to live for them?”
“Of course I do,” I shook my head, upset that he couldn't understand that this was weighing on me as well. “I didn't want children for this very reason. I already had too many people depending on my survival. But I don't regret it. I love our sons, and they make the hunting worth it. They are my reason to fight, Arach. How could I ever live with myself if I sat here safe and sound with our children, when the lives of so many other women's children are at risk, and I could save them?”
“That's ridiculous,” he spat. “The Tuatha are not helpless humans who need you to look after them. This is a completely different issue.”
“First off,” I pointed at him, “this does involve humans. If the Formorians are intent on destroying the Tuatha and going back to their old ways, it could mean death for a lot of people. Second, this is just one fight, a fight I have no intention of being a part of. There will be other battles which directly affect humans or which I simply feel are important. I have my star back, Arach, and the whole reason Al and Faerie helped me to gain the star in the first place, was to use it for good. I can't sit out the fight when I'm wielding the biggest weapon.”
“You don't even know what the weapon is,” he growled. “Or how to wield it.”
“I'm starting to learn.”
“Then I will fight beside you. We will learn about your star together.”
“What?” I gaped at him. “You can't do that. I need you here with our children.”
“You expect me to allow you to go into battle, and yet won't grant me the same courtesy?” he lifted a blood-red brow. “That's unfair, don't you think, Godhunter?”
“And who will raise our boys if we both die?” I said harshly. “Isleen? Like she raised you? Do you think that's fair to ask of her?”
“She would raise them,” his face hardened, “and she would be wonderful at it. I'd trust her implicitly with their upbringing.”
We sat and glared at each other, each of us fuming with righteousness.
“So every time I'm about to go into battle, I what; mirror you, and have you leave my other self to watch the children, while you're gone to fight with my current self?”
Arach blinked in shock, and then started to smile. “Actually, that's brilliant. Yes, Vervain.”
“No, even thinking about it hurts my head.”
“You're always here and you're always there,” Arach smiled and then amended, “Nearly always. Why not leave you to watch over our children while I go to help you in battle? You will already know the outcome.”
“Maybe half of the time, but the other half I'll be wondering if I'm about to disappear, and leave the babies utt
erly alone,” I grimaced.
“What do you mean?” Arach frowned.
“If I happen to be ahead of time in the God Realm, and I mirror you...”
“In my present. Either way, Vervain, at the end of the battle, you'd return to Faerie. You'd go back to when you last left it, and you would know how the battle ends.”
“Or I wouldn't be able to go back,” I scowled. “Which brings me to my point. If I'm killed in the future, in the God Realm, what happens to the me in the Faerie Realm? Do I just fade away?”
“You wouldn't be here to fade,” Arach whispered. “Because you wouldn't be alive to return. Now you see some of the horror I experience every time you leave. Those seconds seem like eternity.”
“But if we're ahead here, and I go back in time to the God Realm,” I was trying to work out why I had such a horrid feeling in my belly. “I'll be fighting in what would be Faerie's past, and then if I'm killed...”
“Again, I have no idea,” Arach's eyes were wide with horror over the mere thought of my death. “The way you use the ring is not as it was meant to be used. There is no precedent.”
“I'd disappear.”
“But you can't,” he shook his head. “Because then you wouldn't be able to return to the time you were killed in.”
“Tricky,” I shook my head. “Time travel paradox. Science Fiction has attempted to answer that very question several times.”
“It's probably why the Fey have never used the ring in such a way,” Arach sighed.
I knew exactly why he was making that pouty dragon face. He was the one who'd suggested I use the ring like this. Then it really hit home for me, all the scenarios that could happen.
“I could simply wink out of existence at any time,” I whispered with horror, and looked down at Brevyn. “Maybe you should take him.”
“So you'll never hold your sons again for fear of dropping them if you fade away?” Arach sighed deeply. “Listen to yourself, Vervain. Either you accept that you hold a very powerful, but mostly unknown weapon, and you have a duty to use it. Or you give up the responsibility, and keep yourself safe for your children and your husbands. It's your choice.”
“Or I stop using the ring to travel back and forth in time,” I sighed.
“Or that,” Arach agreed, but I saw his shoulders tense.
As much as we were both worried over the possibility of time traveling tragedy, if I stopped, it would mean that I'd lose loads of time with my babies. They would feel our separation as I did, and what was worse is that they'd grow up without me there. I'd miss precious baby time.
“I guess I just have to accept the risks,” I swallowed hard.
“And I will accept them with you,” Arach nodded. “Mirror me if you go into battle, and I will join you. A single dragon is a force to be reckoned with. A dragon with a weapon of unknown power is even more dangerous. But a mated dragon pair is unstoppable.”
You had to give him points for confidence.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I got all of my boys settled. Dexter, who hadn't been allowed to come with us to High Court, had been waiting in the entry hall when we'd arrived, whining like a puppy. He followed us up into the nursery, his six legs taking the stairs faster than we could, and watched carefully as we laid the babies down in their cradles. Then he trailed after us into the bedroom, where I tucked Arach in as well.
Another whine.
“Dexter, come here,” I said with a sigh.
“And so it begins,” Arach rolled his eyes as Dexter made three circles on the bed, and then settled down near Arach's feet.
“Leave him be. This is his thing, remember? He keeps guard over you while I'm gone,” I kissed my dragon on the nose. “I'll be right back, and then we can take a nap together.”
“A nap. Like I'm an infant,” he huffed, but settled back into the covers, pulling the edge over on my side, to prepare for my imminent return.
Dexter flopped his fox-like face down on Arach's calf, and gave Arach wide, sad, nurial eyes. They were even more effective than puppy dog eyes. Arach rolled his own, dragon eyes at Dex.
“You love him,” I chided Arach, “admit it.”
“He's a pain in my scaley ass.”
“Your ass isn't currently scaley,” I noted as I changed into my human clothes. “So you'll be pain free.”
“You will mirror me if you need me, Vervain,” he said sternly.
“I will,” I blew him a kiss. “I promise.”
Then I asked my ring to take me to my home in Kaneohe, Hawaii, present time. It was moments like this, when I used my ring to go to the current time in another realm, that relaxed me. It was a sort of reset button on the time travel thing, giving my mind a chance to clear the time tally, and catch up on which realm I was ahead of. It could get really confusing otherwise.
I reformed in the living room of my little home in Kaneohe, and looked around the Moroccan themed room with a little happy sigh. It had been awhile since I'd been there. The last time had actually been with Re, when he posed for...
“Oh no,” I whispered, and hurried into the art room (Kirill's old bedroom) where Kirill was standing; arms crossed, back ramrod straight, staring at a painting of Re reclining on Kirill's old bed. “Um, I can explain.”
Kirill turned to me with laughing eyes and a smile, “Please do. How long vas ze Sun God, Re here before he asked you to paint him? Or did he simply lie down and tell you, you could begin?”
“Oh thank goodness,” I exhaled my relief. “I thought you were upset.”
“Vhy vould I be upset?” his arms dropped to his sides, and he chuckled as he gestured back to the painting. “Zis is hilarious. Ve should put it on display in palace. Intare need a good laugh.”
“I think it's pretty sexy,” I smiled, and sidled up to him, sliding my arm around his waist as I admired the painting.
Re was stretched out on the bed, looking straight forward with a soft smile; his loving look which was hard to catch. I treasured that expression, especially since it was reserved for me. It was so precious in fact, that it took a moment for me to look away from his face, and admire the rest of the painting. Re's impressive body with its golden sheen, took up most of the twin sized bed. He was a little taller than Kirill though their build was similar, and he actually had to angle his legs so he could fit the mattress.
“He looks like playgirl model,” Kirill laughed.
“Stop laughing,” I nudged him with my shoulder. “There was a time when I wanted to paint you like this.”
“Truly?” Kirill lifted his brows.
“Remember that day you were trying to tell me about the Intare magic? The day I used the invisibility magic for the first time?” I shifted away from him and sat on the bed. “You were sitting here reading,” I stroked the thin blanket, tucked with military precision around the mattress, “looking magnificent as usual, and all I could think was that I would love to paint you. To capture that intense look, and all your beauty so that I could share it with those unfortunate people, who would otherwise live their lives without even catching a glimpse of you.”
Kirill stared at me intensely, his eyes darkening, and his breath quickening. He wasn't the best at taking compliments, I suppose we shared that trait, and he often brushed them aside or made a joke to diffuse the awkwardness he felt. But today, he took the compliment and ran with it.
“Zat vas all you vere zinking?” he lifted an ebony brow skeptically. “I recall us getting very close zat day. I almost took you on zat bed. It vould have been our first time.”
“It wasn't all I was thinking,” I confessed.
“Good,” he came to stand in front of me, and I looked up at him in question. “Tima,” his hands went to my face. “I have favor to ask.”
“A favor, eh?” I looked pointedly at the bulge directly in front of my face, and then back up to him.
“Zat too,” he chuckled. “But zere's more.” He got down on his knees so his face was level with mine. “I vant you to re
move sterility spell for me.”
“What?” I gaped at him. “We talked about this. Lesya was the third pregnancy. Vero is supposed to be born next. And I've just had the twins. They're not even a year old, I don't know-”
“Vervain,” he cut me off, and just stared at me, eyes grim and sad. “If I'm to die, I can accept zat. But not our daughter. She must live,” he broke off, and looked away, blinking rapidly and swallowing hard.
“Kirill,” I pulled him into a hug. “You will live, and we will conceive her when she is meant to be conceived. Not now.”
“If she is not meant to be born yet,” Kirill sniffed gruffly and steadied himself, “zen you vill not get pregnant. But ve must try, Vervain. If I die, she vill never even have chance to live, and I can't bear zat.”
Tears filled my eyes, and I leaned my forehead to his. Like I could bear giving birth to his child after he died?
“Please, do zis for me,” he whispered.
“Okay,” I whispered back, that damn please of his weakening me immediately.
He pulled me to his chest tightly.
“Zank you,” he kissed away the tears on my cheeks, and then began kissing me in earnest. “Stop crying, Tima. I vant zis to be beautiful.”
He lifted me off the bed, and carried me across the hall to my altar room. I used to do magic there, but it had barely been touched since I became a goddess. I didn't have to rely on the traces of faerie blood in my veins anymore. The full power of my magic had been released and compounded by my star. Still, I kind of missed it, all that ceremony, and when he put me on my feet before the altar, I smiled at the familiarity of it all. The scent of incense embedded within the very walls, the glint of my athame placed before the bowl of earth, the bottles of oils on the shelf to my left. I headed over to them with determined steps.
I took the frankincense down, and poured a few drops into my hand. Kirill was watching me steadily, a look on his face very close to fear. Perhaps he thought I'd balk at the last second. I wouldn't. If he needed this, I would give it to him. I would give him anything within my power to make him happy. He'd had so little happiness in his life.