by Eric Vall
“His boss?” I asked as one of my eyebrows shot up in surprise. “How would that solve anything?”
“It’d certainly teach him his lesson!” Carmedy giggled as she threw her paws into the air excitedly. “I’ll…oh, I know! I’ll be the bossiest boss that he’s ever had! Please, Master, put him down, he may be a meanie head, but he doesn’t deserve to die!”
Her words resonated with me for a moment, and then I sighed and swung the cook back over onto the deck. I let him drop like a limp sack of potatoes, and he slammed onto the wooden floor heavily.
The cook roared as he took in a deep breath, spluttered then took in another. He wrapped a hand around his bruised neck but didn’t raise his head to me; he knew if he did, my leniency would be short-lived. I gave him a few minutes to collect himself, then nudged him with the hard toe of my boot.
“Did you hear all that or do you need a refreshing?” I snarled in my booming voice, and finally, the cook raised his head with watering eyes.
“W-what?” he asked in a voice that sounded as if he’d been gargling gravel.
“You will go into the kitchen with Carmedy. She will be in charge of you for the whole night, maybe even for the rest of the trip, do you understand?” I questioned as I kicked him with the toe of my boot again.
“Yes.” The cook hissed through his injured throat and from behind me, the feline squealed with excitement.
A short time later, I leaned against the doorway with my arms crossed over my chest as the cat perched on the counter and brandished a wooden spoon. Carmedy had picked it up shortly after we’d entered into the kitchen and gave it a few test swings in the air. The cook hunched his shoulders over the huge pot as he stirred it and barely glanced up at her out of fear. The man was nearly shaking in his shoes, but I wasn’t sure who he was more afraid of, me or the tiny cat-girl. So far since entering the kitchen, Carmedy had slapped his hands with the wooden spoon four different times, and now each time she made a sudden movement, he jumped and hid his hands from her. I chuckled deep in the back of my throat as the feline threw the spoon into the air and made the cook shrivel away in fear as she deftly caught it.
“W-what was it you w-wanted me to cook again, Miss?” the cook, who’d we’d found out from Miguel was named Charles asked in a stuttering voice.
“No, no, no,” I interjected as I waggled a finger at the cook, and he peeked over his shoulder at me feebly. “You won’t call her Miss or Miss Carmedy, you will refer to her as ‘Chef’ for the remainder of the day, do you understand?”
“Y-yes, Master,” Charles nodded as he stared deep into the frothy pot of chicken stock in front of him on the stove. “Yes, Chef.”
“Oh, I could get used to this! Head Chef Carmedy! If you’d been listening before,” the feline said as she raised her voice and Charles pressed himself closer to the stove to avoid another hit from her spoon. “I want roast chicken pot pie with mashed potatoes, carrots and broccoli! Ice cream and strawberry crumble for dessert, and I want all of it on the double!”
“M-Miss…I don’t thin--” the cook trailed off as I raised an eyebrow and Carmedy’s mouth pressed into a firm line. Charles nodded, turned, and headed towards the cold storage behind us. “Yes, Chef, right away, Chef.”
The cook swung open the heavy metal door into the cold storage and disappeared inside with his head tucked down. I glanced back over at the feline who sat on the counter still and swung her legs out underneath her. She looked happy as can be here, especially since she was in charge of the kitchen, her favorite place on the ship. Her emerald eyes met mine, and they crinkled at the corners as she grinned at me. Carmedy hadn’t looked this happy in a few days, and I was glad that I was the one who gave her this joy.
“You look as if you belong here, my darling.” I smiled, and the feline rested her head on her shoulder as she giggled. “Did you ever think about becoming a chef as a child?”
“Hm, maybe once or twice,” the petite alchemist shrugged as she hopped off the counter and came closer to me. “But I quickly realized that I liked eating food more than I liked cooking it. Maybe I should’ve become a food critic like we told Shida. That would be a fun job.”
“It sounds like you would have fit right in,” I chuckled as I reached out and ruffled her short black hair with my gloved fingertips.
“Yeah, but the more I think about it, I’m glad that I didn’t do it.” Carmedy thoughtfully uttered as she shuffled closer to my side.
“And why is that?” I questioned as I tilted my head towards her, and she spun towards me with a wide grin plastered over her plump lips.
“If I hadn’t become an adventurer, I wouldn’t have met you!” the cat-girl said as she peered up at me with her luminous emerald eyes. “I wouldn’t have met you or fallen in love with a god. I wouldn’t have met all these amazing people, or traveled all over the world. I’d just be a snobby person who tastes food all the time and can you imagine how much weight I would put on if that were my full-time job? I would have blown up like a balloon from all those carbs!”
I threw my head back and roared with laughter as she looked up at me with such a dazzling smile. I considered myself very lucky, I was thrown out of the heavens and banished to rot in a dungeon, but four of the most beautiful and intelligent women found me then found the courage in their hearts to love an Underdark deity like me. They’d given me all that I asked for and more without question or complaint.
I loved them beyond all things, beyond what any human emotion could describe or put into words. I’d taken each of them, nurtured them with love and guidance, and they’d blossomed for me like wildflowers in June. I’d just taken on my fifth minion, and I knew that I’d have to work with her and train her just as hard as the others but in a way, I was excited to see how she too would become stronger and better under my care.
We were broken away from our private moment as Charles shuffled back in from the cold storage with his arms filled with vegetables and meat. He kept his eyes low to the floor as he scuffled over to the counter and put down his spoils. The cook whispered to himself and I chuckled as Carmedy crept over and peeked over his shoulder.
Charles nearly jumped out of his skin as he glanced over at her then did a double take at how close she was to him. He squealed like a little girl, and it gave me a massive rush of joy to see him so frightened of the innocent feline.
Carmedy pressed her lips together and narrowed her eyes on the vegetables. The cat-girl comically sucked in her cheeks and breathed heavily in annoyance. Charles shook nervously and took a few hasty glances at her. The alchemist widened her eyes so much that for a moment I thought they were going to pop out of their sockets.
“What do you think you are doing?” Carmedy asked in a ludicrously, high-pitched voice.
“C-c-cutting up the carrots and potatoes?” Charles questioned back in a squeak, and the feline leaned in closer as she studied his face with narrowed eyes.
“Did I say I wanted them cut up?” the cat-girl inquired in her condescending high-pitched voice.
“N-no, Chef? But, h-how else w-would I prepare them?” the cook stuttered, and Carmedy leaned away as she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Julienne! I wanted them julienned!” the alchemist cried as she spun away in disgust and threw her hands into the air.
“But Miss, you didn’t tell me that!” Charles shouted in anger as he whipped around then his face dropped, and his eyes widened as he realized what he’d done.
Carmedy stopped abruptly and stood still for a second with her back turned towards Charles. The cook slapped a hand over his mouth and whimpered softly to himself as his eyes swiveled between me and the feline.
“Alright, you big, dumb potato-head, you got salt in your ears from being on this ship for too goddamn long?” Carmedy’s voice rang out in a tone that I’d never heard before.
“W-what?” Charles whispered as he backed toward the counter and bumped into it.
“Do you want me to repeat myself?”
Carmedy roared as she whipped around with her wooden spoon raised over her head.
“No, Chef! I’ll julienne the carrots, Chef!” Charles cried in a higher tone than he usually spoke in as he whipped around and began cutting the carrots correctly this time.
Carmedy nodded to herself and flounced over to hang over Charles’ shoulder once more. She watched over him for the preparation of dinner and for the most part, Charles was well-behaved though there were a few slip-ups when he called her Miss instead of Chef and Carmedy corrected him with a swift smack of her wooden spoon. The entire time she tasted and tried each thing he prepared, and he didn’t protest, not even once. In fact, it seemed as if he’d warmed up to her in a way when he whipped up the thickened filling for the pie, and he offered her the spoon to taste. The cat licked her lips and purred happily as he nodded and went back to cooking. Right as he was finishing up the desert, they even started to chat a little bit, and Carmedy finally let go of her spoon and placed it back on its rightful hook to the left of the stove.
“Where’d you learn to cook Charles?” Carmedy asked as she helped him pull the fully cooked pies out of the oven and set them on the countertop.
“I taught myself actually, borrowed cookbooks from the library and learned,” the cook told her as he spread melted butter over the baked crusts of the pies. “My family was real poor, dirt poor, and we basically ate scraps for dinner each night. I got a part-time job at a grocer and bought food with my tiny paychecks. It didn’t matter what I made at first because at least then my family and I had full bellies when we went to bed at night, but the more I learned, the more elaborate meals I’d make for them.”
“Do you miss them?” the feline asked as she leaned into her fist on the counter and looked over at the bald man. “It must be terrible to work on a ship and never get to see them.”
“I get to go home occasionally, and we always send letters, but yes, I miss them terribly. It’s kind of consolation that I get to cook for so many people here on the ship, the crew, and the guests. It’s like I’m cooking for my family all over again.” Charles smiled warmly over to the cat, and she returned the gesture as she straightened.
Charles washed off his hands and stepped away from the counter as the sounds of footsteps reached our ears. All meals were served at set times on the ship, and it seemed that our first stragglers hustled in for their last meal of the day. The pies looked delicious, and my stomach grumbled irritably as I stood in the doorway. Carmedy turned back towards me as she slipped her paws into a pair of potholders.
“Ready to eat?” the feline asked as she grabbed a whole pie and sauntered towards the door with it.
Charles’s eyes widened, and his mouth opened to protest, but he quickly closed and smiled instead. He’d put up with the cat-girl’s antics for most of the day, and he knew that there was no use doing anything now. I nodded to him, and though he still held fear in his eyes every time he looked in my direction, he returned the gesture as he began plating the pies.
“Yes, you did very well today, Chef.” I chuckled as I held open the door for her.
Carmedy snatched up two forks from the countertop and got about halfway through the door before she turned abruptly. The cat-girl looked gravely over at Charles, and his face paled for a moment as he stared back.
“Now don’t go pushing your job off on anyone else, ya hear?” Carmedy asked as she finally broke from her serious chef character, and Charles nodded in agreement as he set down the knife he held and bowed to her.
“I will, Chef,” the cook said as he straightened, then grinned at her. “I might have to keep you around; I think that’s the hardest I’ve worked in ten years. Thank you, Chef.”
“No, thank you, Chef.” Carmedy giggled as she held the pie and bowed to Charles. She turned towards me and the open door into the dining room. “Now, I earned this darn pie, let’s dig in, Master!”
“As you wish, Chef Carmedy.”
Chapter Two
After we finished the pie, Carmedy and I cleaned up, and I headed back up on deck. We’d spent a good bit of time below deck and evening fell over the surface of the ocean. A handful of crew members scurried around the upper floor as a soft evening breeze brushed past. Even the captain had gone down into the hull and left one of the sailors to steer the ship. The dusk air was cooler but not by much, and I breathed it in slowly as I closed my eyes. I liked being on the ship even if the trip was long and hard; I liked every experience that being with my women gave me. Before they found me locked in my dungeon, I’d never ridden on a ship. I’d resided in the heavens for most of my life and never done all the seemingly mundane things that humans enjoyed, but now I got to experience all of them firsthand. It was oddly invigorating; I saw new things every day, and it amazed me. I was trapped for thousands of years and didn’t know what I was missing, but my minions gave those things to me.
I leaned against the worn wooden railing and looked out over the rest of the ship. The crew lit lamps, and the decks were bathed in an ethereal golden glow, and it was oddly romantic. A few couples walked past me while holding hands, and I bowed my head to them as they went by.
“What are you doing out here, Master?” a soft voice asked from beside me, and I swiveled my eyes to the white-haired elf who’d snuck up beside me.
“I like the ocean air, especially at night when it’s cooled off.” I smiled to her as I offered her a hand, and she took it tenderly.
I looked down at her and saw that both of her pitch-black ravens were gone, probably somewhere in our room roosting in the rafters. Her black eyes were trained up onto my face, and I smiled down at her as I reached out and stroked her alabaster cheek.
Morrigan wore her long white hair differently today, the elf usually wore it down around her shoulders, but today, one of her sisters had weaved the long, silky locks into complicated braids down her back. That wasn’t the only thing different about the elf, Morrigan usually wore shapeless black dresses that hid her form, but today she wore a tight-fitting dress that hugged her curves perfectly. Her waist was tiny, but her wide hips blossomed out, and I stared at them for a passing second in wonder. All of my minions were beautiful in their own way, but to see my second wife step out of her comfort zone and put herself on display like this for me was amazing. When I’d first met the elven woman, I wouldn’t say she was shy but instead, stoic and silent at all times. Over time she’d warmed up to me, just as Rana had, but now the white-haired woman was truly coming into her own before my very eyes.
“Something is comforting about being out in the middle of nowhere,” Morrigan uttered in her emotionless voice as she turned and looked out over the still water. “The calm of the ocean soothes my heart. I know we will soon be in battle against the sorcerer, but it is still nice to take a moment and be still.”
“I cannot agree more.” I smiled as I leaned over and pressed a soft kiss into her hair.
We were silent for a moment as the moon rose out over the water, and I was reminded for a second of the Wailing. That ritual was the last time that I really looked at the moon, and it gave me a strange sense of melancholy. The misunderstood goddess who wanted nothing more than for her people to live happy and healthy lives and the twisted leader who had warped the people’s beliefs into murder. I wished that I could have spared her life or at least given her a death befitting a goddess of her stature, but Tuzakeur had snatched all of that away from her.
Morrigan squeezed my hand softly, and when I glanced over at her, I knew she was thinking the same thing as me. So much had happened in the last few months, and I knew it took an emotional toll on the elf. She’d encountered the Rusalka, and the shadow waifs spoke to her and told her about all the terrible things Baudouin did to them, then she saw the murder of the animals she loved so much to the goddess. Morrigan never complained or voiced her discomfort but looking into her eyes now, I knew that it weighed heavily on her.
The last week had been something like a vacation for her, most of the time I’d come
up onto the deck in the middle of the night and find the elven woman up there alone. Morrigan rarely shared her worries with her sisters and barely brought them up to me, but I could always tell when something was bothering her. Even now, as I looked into her smooth face, I knew something was going on that she didn’t want to tell me about, but there was a difference this time. From her expression, I knew she wanted to talk about whatever was bothering her.
“Master?” Morrigan asked, and I raised my eyebrows for her to go on. “May I ask you a question?”
“Of course, what is the matter, my love?” I inquired as I pulled her willowy frame to my side.
“I would like to make a request of you,” the white-haired woman started as she looked earnestly into my eyes. “Please teach me soul transferal, the power that you received from the Tichádáma.”
I raised my eyebrows in surprise at such a strange request. We’d worked on her powers multiple times over the past months, but she’d never requested something specific like this before. I squinted down at her for a moment, then nodded.
“I’ll call for your sisters; they can help us with this.” I chuckled as I pointed to the empty space of the deck and Morrigan’s dark eyes flitted there.
The elf momentarily looked apprehensive, and I could tell she didn’t want to involve the rest of my minions in her training but wouldn’t protest against me. I reached out with Nergal’s power and called to the other three below deck as I took Morrigan by the shoulder and led her towards an empty space of the deck. The elf and I stood together while we waited for the rest of my women, and before long, I heard Carmedy’s cheerful voice as she spoke animatedly to Rana and Annalise. The three women hurried over with wide smiles and grouped themselves around us.
“What’s up?” Rana asked as she cocked a hip and twirled a curl. “Why’d you call us?”
“Yeah, I was about to eat another one of those pies Charles made!” Carmedy giggled as she licked her lips.
“You already had one, you don’t need another one.” Annalise chided as she gave the feline’s shoulder a light push.