“You probably think you’ve had enough adventure for one day,” said Bellamy when we were almost back to the mansion, “but I have another surprise in store for all of you.”
“Ooh, what’s that?” said Vanessa.
“Will we stop at home so I can change my clothes first?” asked Shar.
“Yes,” said Bellamy. “We’re making a special trip so you can do that. The rest of you can wait in the car with me while she is changing.”
“What’s our big surprise?” asked Jessica.
“You’ll see,” said Bellamy. He poured us all more champagne as the car pulled up to our house and Shar dashed inside, returning moments later in a tinsel-covered royal blue mini-dress.
“Not fair,” said Amy. “Can we all go inside and change into cute little cocktail dresses?”
“No. You all look great just as you are. Let’s just get on our way,” said Bellamy.
“Whatevs,” said Amy, picking at her cuticles.
“Okay, we’re here already,” said Bellamy a few moments later. “Hop out, my sky jumping damn cells.”
“What’s he talking about?” whispered Deb.
“I think he means damsels,” I said. “He’s just pronouncing it funny. Accidentally, I imagine.”
“Oh! Cute,” she said.
We were up on top of a big hill and there were picnic tables set up beneath strings of white lights. I could smell hotdogs cooking. “Are you girls ready for a hotdog eating contest?” he asked us. “The winner of this contest will be safe from elimination.”
“Are we on Fear Factor?” asked Vanessa, unsnuggling herself from him in disgust. “I don’t want to be part of a hotdog eating contest!”
“I don’t eat meat,” I pointed out.
“We thought of that, Emma,” said Bellamy. He went over to a big vat of hot water, removed the metal lid, and showed me piles and piles of hotdogs bobbing in hot water. “See how some of these are kind of light and squarish compared to the rest? Those are vegan hotdogs. Just for you, Emma.”
“But they’re all in the same water,” I said.
“Sure, they look wet now, but they get grilled at the last minute for that fresh-off-the-coals flavor,” he said, pointing over to a band of chefs wearing aprons beside grills. They all had on tall white hats. One of them waved his tongs at us and winked.
“That’s not the point. They’re all, you know, stewing together in the same water,” I said. No one was listening.
“I’m gonna do this,” said Shar, plunking down at a picnic table, ready to prove her fun-ness.
“Aren’t you all hungry?” asked Bellamy. “I’m starving! I’m gonna do it too, if that changes anyone’s mind.”
Deb and Jessica sat down at the picnic tables, ready to get started. Amy, Vanessa, and I stayed near the limo. I knew that skipping two challenges in a row was not going to be a good thing, but I just couldn’t do it.
“No one has to do anything they don’t want to do,” said Bellamy, “but I’m looking for a wife who likes fun and adventure. Someone who isn’t afraid to make a fool out of herself. You know? I’m not exactly keeping score, but I am trying to see who is compatible with my interests. And I like hotdogs.”
“Let’s get this party started,” said Shar, loosening the zipper on the side of her dress.
“I will eat a hotdog,” said Amy, “but I’m not going to participate in the contest.” She took a seat at the picnic table and primly placed a square of paper towel in her lap.
“Count me out,” said Vanessa. She poured herself some more champagne, kicked off her shoes, and settled back to watch.
“Yeah. Me too,” I said, following her lead. I was so relieved to not be sitting this out alone.
“Hello, are you ready for some fun?” yelled Catalina Cartwright. She was dressed like a cowgirl, her hands resting on squirt guns that were in a pink holster belt around her hips.
“Where did she come from?” I asked.
“She just kind of appeared,” said Vanessa.
Catalina Cartwright drew her squirt guns and squirted Bellamy and the other contestants. “Giddy Up! It’s time for a good old fashioned hotdog eating contest! As Bellamy was just explaining to y’all, he wants a woman who is crazy, fun, and not afraid to look a little silly. When you hear that rocket go off,” she said, pointing up the hill past the grills, “dive right in, gobble gobble gobble!”
Paper plates stacked with four hotdogs each were placed in front of Bellamy and the women by some apron wearing assistants. Catalina Cartwright came over to Vanessa and me, rolling her eyes. “What a spectacle. A hotdog eating contest. I mean, come on!”
A cameraman was right on her. Vanessa and I moved out of the way.
“You don’t need to film me right now,” Catalina said to the camera guy, waving him away.
“Can we use our hands?” yelled Shar, just as the rocket was fired.
“Yeah, yeah, use your hands,” said Bellamy. I could barely understand him. His mouth was already filled with a big bite.
“The hotdogs were all left over from a birthday party for the network president’s kid,” Catalina Cartwright explained to us. “I know there’s been concern about our ratings, but I’m not sure if we’re moving in the right direction.” She swatted at her leg where a drip from the water gun was running down it.
“Aha,” said Vanessa, trying to sound wise. I couldn’t believe Catalina Cartwright was hanging out with us.
“Personally, I’d like to see them stick with more of the romantic dates,” Catalina continued. “Don’t you think that’s what viewers really want? Or is there a place for this sensationalism, this ridiculousness? I guess this is why I’m just the host.” She sighed, setting the squirt guns on the grass.
“Jessica is going to win this,” I observed, watching the Australian beckon for another plate of hotdogs.
“I’ll admit,” said Vanessa, “it’s hard to look away.”
Amy removed herself from the table and came over to join us. “I just had one. I didn’t even eat the bun,” she said rather defensively, as if we hadn’t seen her daintily consume one hotdog with a plastic knife and fork.
Catalina put her holster belt back on, getting ready for more camera time. Just as an assistant was finishing touching up her makeup, Shar leaned over and puked all over Bellamy. Bellamy jumped up and was immediately blotted with towels by producers and assistants. Deb started gagging and ran away, leaving Jessica alone at the table, victorious.
Once Bellamy was all cleaned up and dried off with a hair dryer, he presented Jessica with a ruby and Swarovski crystal tiara. She happily accepted it. Then we were redeposited at the mansion.
“See you tomorrow night at the cocktail party,” said Bellamy as we piled out of the limo.
“Are they announcing tonight where we’re traveling?” asked Amy.
“No, that happens tomorrow night after the elimination ceremony,” said Bellamy. “But I don’t think I’m supposed to tell you that, so pretend I didn’t.”
“Okay,” said Amy. “Where are we going to go?”
“I can’t tell you that,” said Bellamy. “I don’t even know that myself yet.”
“Right,” said Jessica.
“Are you going on a date tomorrow morning with anyone?” asked Shar.
“Um, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure nothing is scheduled all day tomorrow until the cocktail party and elimination ceremony in the evening.”
“Why?” asked Shar. The rest of us were on our way inside now, but she wouldn’t let him be.
“I guess they thought I needed a break,” he said.
“From us?” she asked.
“I guess,” he said.
“Do you want to take a walk with me before you go?” she asked.
“Um, I think I’m too tired. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” she said. She looked so sad, standing there with tinsel falling off her and vomit crusted onto her dress that I almost felt sorry for her.
�
��What are you looking at, bitch?” she yelled, noticing me watching her.
“Nothing,” I said. I went inside and went to bed.
Chapter 20
“That’s a great dress,” said Shar.
“It’s too late to butter me up. Anyway, it doesn’t matter what I think. You should direct some of your fake positive energy towards Bellamy,” I said.
“It’s too late. I’m going home tonight. How could there be any other outcome after I shat myself and puked all over him yesterday,” she said, shaking her head and downing her cocktail. It ran down the sides of her mouth. “God, I’m such a freakin’ slob.”
Once again, I almost felt sorry for her. Almost.
“Did you spend much time with him tonight?” she asked.
“A little. Not enough, of course,” I said. In reality, I’d spent about two minutes with him. He’d asked me how I was doing and if I was getting along with all the girls. I’d taken that as my cue to send him a hint, so I’d said that everyone seemed pretty nice, but Shar wasn’t my favorite person. It wasn’t really the most helpful feedback, but he’d seemed happy enough with my response.
“Mind if I join you ladies?” asked Tamika, sitting down beside us.
“Did you get any one-on-one time with him yet tonight?” Shar asked her.
“About two minutes before Alanna showed up and stole him away from me. Honestly, I don’t think any of us stand a chance now that she’s back.”
“Does anyone know what happened with her and Antonio?” asked Shar. “Why aren’t they planning their wedding right now like they’re supposed to be?”
“Who knows,” said Tamika.
“Okay, ladies, gather around, gather around,” said Catalina Cartwright. “We’ve got a very big night ahead of us. As you may or may not know, two of you will be leaving tonight. One of you, Jessica, is already safe.” She gestured towards Jessica who was standing off to the side alone, her hair in an elaborate up-do that perfectly complemented her tiara. Jessica bowed a bit in a way that might be considered normal in Australia. Catalina continued, “So, without further hesitation, ladies, take your places. Let’s get down to business, shall we?”
We all found a small masking tape X to stand on and took our places. As always, they arranged us a bit by size and dress color until they thought we looked right. Once we got settled into place, Bellamy joined us.
“Bellamy, welcome! Have you made your decision?” asked Catalina.
“Hello Catalina. Hello again, ladies. Catalina, it’s never easy to send any of these wonderful women away, and tonight was the hardest night ever. I was, like, looking at their pictures, and remembering good times, and thinking and thinking. Geez. It was not easy.”
“But you made your decision?”
“Yes, I did.”
“Great. Go ahead, Bellamy.”
“Okay. Here I go,” he said, reaching for the first tiara. “Emma, will you accept this Deluxe ruby and Swarovski crystal tiara?”
“Yes,” I said, stepping forward. He gently placed it on my head and kissed me on the lips. My body jolted awake. My lips started kissing him back with a mind of their own until we were full-on French kissing.
“Excuse me,” said Catalina, dinging a spoon against her champagne glass.
“Um, thank you, Bellamy, for this tiara,” I said in a persnickety, business-like manner, trying to recover from my hotwired hormones. I joined Jessica.
“What was that all about?” she asked me under her breath.
“I’m just dumb like that,” I said.
“Alanna, will you accept this tiara?” asked Bellamy.
“I suppose,” she said, looking beautifully devastated over the display of affection that he and I had just shared. She joined Jessica and me, but she stood a couple of inches off her X and wouldn’t look my way.
Vanessa was next, then Tamika and Klassie. Then there were just three girls remaining: Shar, Deb, and Amy. Shar was wearing a pink sequined dress with matching shoes and a purple feather boa. Her face was covered in splotches and fresh tears were running down her face. She looked like a big old mess.
“Bellamy, can I have a word with you? Please? Please?” she begged.
“Yes Shar, but I’ve made up my mind already,” he said.
Instead of going away for a moment with him, she just started blathering: “Maybe if I could just talk to you. Maybe then! Maybe I could change your mind. Bellamy, I have never left the country. Never! Everybody has been some place but me.”
“I haven’t either,” Deb interrupted.
Shar ignored her and continued, “I‘ve only been to five states. Only five! I want to see the world! You could do that for me. And I really like you! Don’t you think I’m more fun that these other girls? Don’t you think I’m hotter than them?”
“Shar, stop please,” he said.
“You’re going to… send me home, aren’t you? Don’t! Please don’t.”
“Shar, please…”
“But I’m so… hot. …I have a… hot body… and I’m… fun,” she said, choking out the words as she swatted at the stream of snot running from her nose.
“Deb,” said Bellamy, holding up the last tiara, “will you accept this Deluxe ruby and Swarovski crystal tiara?”
“Yes,” she said, helping him set it on her head. She joined the rest of us.
“Amy, Shar,” said Catalina Cartwright, “your time here on Bellamy’s Redemption is over. Please say goodbye.”
“I have nothing to say to you,” said Shar, brushing past Bellamy.
“Fair enough,” he said. “Amy, may I walk you out?”
“Sure,” she said, waving goodbye to the rest of us. She didn’t look too upset.
“That was so embarrassing,” said Alanna. She shook her head and sighed a delicately sweet little sigh. “I feel so sorry for her,” she continued. “Meltdowns like that make me cringe inside. Poor thing! She needs professional help.”
“I know! How sad,” said Deb.
“Oh. Well, anyway, that was horrible to watch. Horrible! I really hope she is going to be okay,” said Alanna.
I thought it was fascinating how Alanna had completely insulted Shar, yet managed to do so in a way that made herself look kind and concerned. As if to reinforce this, Deb said, “You’re such a good person, Alanna.”
“Oh, stop,” said Alanna.
“Shar’s pretty tough. I think she’ll survive this,” I said.
“Oh, you think so? In that case, I guess there is nothing to worry about,” said Alanna. She gave me a tight, plastic smile and turned away. Clearly, she was still mad about the kiss.
“That was not easy! Not easy at all,” said Bellamy, rejoining us. “I’m still sweating from that one! I made the right choices, though. I’m very glad you’re my final seven. To all of you, my final seven,” he said again, raising his glass. “I have some news for you: You may think I didn’t send any of you packing, but actually, I am sending you all packing!”
“What do you mean?” asked Deb.
“We’re leaving tonight for Venice! You all have one hour to pack your bags and meet me back here.”
We all jumped up and down, screaming. Alanna even lost her composure for a moment. We knew we were finally something special when we saw that a limo, not a bus, was waiting outside to shuttle us back to our house.
“Does anyone know where Venice is?” asked Deb, once we were on our way back. It was taking us a long time to get home since our limo driver had taken us on a detour to buy ice cream for Alanna.
“It’s in Italy,” said Vanessa.
“Like Italy, Europe? Gosh. I have never been there. Do we need to have a passport?” asked Deb.
“Of course,” said Vanessa.
“Oh. I hope the show worked that out for me. I don’t think I have one, but I imagine the producers will have it all figured out.”
“It was one of the requirements for coming on here,” said Tamika. “I don’t think you could be here if you don’t have one.�
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“I don’t know,” said Deb. “My mom filled out most of the paperwork for me, so she probably handled it. Is a passport a little book with my picture in it?”
“Yes,” said Alanna. She sighed. Her patience with all of us was wearing thin.
“Hmm. Yeah, I think I have seen passports before, like, in movies and you know, just in general, but I am not sure if I ever got one. Well, it will work itself out, right?” asked Deb.
“No. If you don’t have one it will not work itself out,” said Alanna. “If you don’t have a passport, your time here is over.”
I could tell what the other girls were thinking: Another one bites the dust. I, however, had confidence in the producers and believed that none of us would be contestants if we did not have valid passports.
“I’ll bet I’m going home,” said Deb. “I screwed this up. I screw everything up! Once I had a job at a popcorn stand at a carnival and I blew it. Can you imagine getting fired from a popcorn stand? By a carnie? Who ran the ducky game? Who never even wore a shirt? Who was my uncle? Well, it happened to me.”
“For real?” asked Tamika.
“I wouldn’t make up something like this! It was pretty much the worst night of my life. The popcorn machine started on fire. I tried to put out the fire with Sno-Cone ice and syrup, but it didn’t work.”
“Is there something illegal in Sno-Cone syrup?” asked Klassie. “It’s so yummy.”
“I feel the same way,” said Vanessa.
“Especially cherry,” said Klassie.
“See, I would have said especially blue raspberry,” said Vanessa.
“I think just lots of sugar,” said Deb. “Anyhow, it was about a hundred degrees out and maybe one fifty in my popcorn shack. Livin’ On a Prayer was playing. I was wearing cut off shorts and a pink tie dyed t-shirt, and some blue sandals with beads on them. I can picture it all like it was yesterday. My hair was in braids. God, it’s like rushing back at me. I can remember everything! My nails were painted dark pink! It’s like I’m right back there.”
“It’s okay, relax,” said Tamika.
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